Chereads / The Pain of Being Empty / Chapter 4 - Reality is Cruel

Chapter 4 - Reality is Cruel

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling.

Usually, my sister would wake me up, but today was different.

The memory of what happened yesterday appeared in my head and I couldn't help but close my eyes and wish that it was just a nightmare. But it wasn't.

"Why did it happen? What did I do wrong?"

While wondering, I got up later than usual and started to get ready for school.

When I went downstairs, my sister and mother were having breakfast without me.

I approached and greeted them.

"Good morning mom, good morning Lily."

They both gave me sharp gazes.

"Don't call me mom, it's disgusting." "Mom"

"Go away and die." (Lily)

All the energy I gathered in my body to greet them immediately dissipated when I heard their answer.

Then I turned around, picked up my backpack and left. During all the moments my eyes were darker than usual and I was expressionless.

Leaving home I went to the place I usually meet Aria and Yue.

As I approached the place I could see three girls waiting for someone. They were Yue, Aria, and unexpectedly Ellie.

Seeing them from afar, my eyes recovered some light.

'Maybe they will believe in me.' That was my last hope.

I approached them and said with the brightest smile I could make.

"Good morning Aria, Ellie, Yue."

But the next moment my world collapsed.

"Why are you saying my name with a smile, you scum." (Aria)

"Don't act like nothing happened, we won't forgive you." (Ellie)

"I thought you were a good person, I can't believe I was deceived by you." (Yue)

Words that hurt more than anything else.

At this moment my eyes were shaking violently, I couldn't see anything properly.

I couldn't accept it, I couldn't lose them.

"I am innocent, those girls made a trap for me, please believe me. We are friends."

Yet again my words were useless.

"Don't say anything else, you are the worst." (Ellie)

"It's disgusting how you can't even admit your mistakes." (Aria)

"We came here only to tell you that from now on we don't have anything to do with you." (Yue)

After you said her part, all three girls turned around and walked towards school without looking at me a second time.

PUFF

I fell on my knees as I started to feel indescribable fear. Then as I processed what my situation was, my fears started to become despair.

"No… please believe me…"

I started to murmur some words as reality started to be visible to me. Then for me not to suffer irreparable pain, I blinded myself.

"No. They are not like this. Everything will come back to normal in no time."

Affirmed this belief again and again in my head as I slowly got up from my knees.

Then I went to school, I don't believe things can get any worse.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When I arrived at school the gazes I received made me feel like walking over shattered glass. They are gazes filled with disgust, hate, and condemnation.

I also could hear them talking about me.

"Hey, is this the guy who attacked the two girls?"

"It is a waste for such a scum to have this appearance."

"I know him, he is very popular. I never would have imagined that Arthur would be a rapist."

"I heard that he beat the girls up when he tried to attack them."

Hurtful comments. The more I heard, the heavier my body became.

I still couldn't believe what was happening to me.

As I arrived at class, the lively atmosphere instantly disappeared.

I tried to ignore everything and went towards my seat. As I sat down, the nightmare started.

"It is disgusting to have you this close to me."

"Why do we have to be in the same class? I envy Aria."

Yue and Ellie, they…

'Ah, this pain again.'

My head starts to hurt and my eyes start to get moisty.

I place my arms on my table and rest my head on them. I wanted to be alone at this moment, I wanted to just disappear from this world.

Ding!

Time passed quickly and class started. Today was destined to be a nightmare.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

During school time I kept being mistreated. During lunch people bumped on me and tried to make me fall by putting their feet in my way. Not only that, when I went to take my school lunch, the students threw things on my plate which made me dispose of the lunch.

And the worst was the curses. Everywhere I passed by I heard someone cursing me, and even Lily, Aria, Yue and Ellie weren't exception.

I left school later than usual, I stared ahead blankly as I moved my heavy body to walk home.

Why?

Why are they hurting me?

What did I do wrong?

Weren't we friends?

Did they betray me?

My head was full of unanswered questions. All I wanted was to live a peaceful and happy life with the ones who are important to me. But after that incident I lost everything.

I can't deny the truth anymore.

Tears start to fall as I accept reality.

'I was betrayed.'

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I arrived at home and immediately went upstairs to my room. I was hungry but I didn't care.

I closed my room's door and started to change to casual clothes. When I was done I sat down in my chair and started to think about 'us'.

I started to record all the moments I had with my parents, sister, childhood friends, and friends.

Without any exception these memories were the moments I was the happiest in my life.

But as I recorded them I wasn't smiling.

I cried before I got home, but at this moment tears started to fall again. All the happy memories I had only brought me more pain. But I didn't stop to remember.

"Big brother, never leave me alone!" (Lily)

"Onii-chan, I love you!" (Lily)

"You are amazing! You can do anything!" (Aria)

"I like you the most Arthur!" (Aria)

"We will be friends forever!" (Yue)

"Thank you for helping me. If you need any support I will be there for you!" (Yue)

"Nice to meet you, my name is Ellie." (Ellie)

"Arthur, you are so cute." (Ellie)

That day I cried the whole night.