I can't...I can't do this, I thought to myself as I paced the confines of my small tent. The rough texture of the terrain under my feet was nothing compared to the tumultuous turmoil spiraling within me.
The fear, the anticipation of spending time alone with him was all-consuming. I had foolishly believed I had outgrown my unrequited affections, but that was a lie. The moment his firm body pressed against mine today, all defenses I had erected crumbled. The butterflies in my stomach resurrected, fluttering wildly. His sculpted physique, his infectious smile, the tender touch of his hands, every characteristic was a traitor, enticing me towards the precipice of unfulfilled desire.
Not even a day had elapsed since I joined the elete warrior troops, yet I found myself circling back to where I had vowed never to tread again. The prospect of survival seemed daunting, not in the battlefield, but in his proximity. I was to endure the agony of being tantalizingly close to him, while the stark reality screamed the bitter truth, he was unattainable.
Exhausted, I sank onto the bed, my hands pulling at the roots of my recently nurtured, silky black hair. As I hunched over, the glossy strands fell around me like a veil, momentarily barricading me from the harsh reality.
The truth was, I was deeply, irrevocably in love with a man who did not return my feelings. Our time together may have been brief, spanning a mere couple of months, but it was enough to anchor my heart to him. He had been my savior, his actions kindling a beacon of hope in my desolate existence. The debt I owed him was immense, and irrepayable.
Yet, I reminded myself sternly, my current predicament required resilience. His training sessions were a matter of hours. Hours which I was capable of enduring. The fluttering in my heart protested, but I stood firm.
Regaining my composure, I stood up and began shaking out my arms, as if I could dispel the frustration that clawed within me. Yet the restless energy refused to disperse, persisting in its torment. Resigned, I realized that the only solace I could find would be through a familiar routine, training. In the solitude of the night, under the stars, it was my lone comfort.
The night was silent, only the fabricated hoot of a night bird disturbing the quiet calm of the encampment. Walking to the training ground, I could feel the quiet hum of energy that came from being surrounded by warriors even in the quiet hours. It felt like home now, a stark contrast to the horrors I had escaped from.
Reaching the grounds, I picked up one of the wooden swords used for practice. It was light, worn from use and time. Holding it in my hands, I took comfort in the familiarity. I started to move, practicing the forms I had been taught, letting muscle memory guide my body.
As I swung and pivoted, my mind began to clear. Each breath in, each step, each block and swing, helped me regain my focus. I was here for a reason, a mission. Not for Orryn, but for those still trapped in the prisons, for myself. My feelings for Orryn were inconvenient, but they weren't my priority.
Orryn is not my mission, I thought as I continued to train. With every repetition, I hammered the thought into my mind. The sentiment was slowly taking root, and the chaotic churn in my heart quieted down, replaced with the rhythm of my training.
Before I knew it the first rays of dawn began to streak the sky, my body was drenched in sweat, and my muscles ached with exhaustion. Unintentionally, I had spent the better part of the night engrossed in training, trying to exorcise his memory from my mind. My body protested vehemently, drenched in sweat and muscles screaming with fatigue, but the distraction it provided was worth every ounce of exhaustion.
The training ground, previously my solitary refuge, started stirring to life as warriors began to trickle in for their daily sessions. Their warm greetings echoed around me, a chorus of camaraderie that had gradually become my second family. Among them, I spotted the one countenance I wished to avoid yet was inexplicably drawn to.
There he stood, in all his shirtless glory. His muscular form, adorned in nothing but a pair of shorts, held an almost magnetic attraction. His well-defined arms were crossed, a silent testament to his strength. His gaze swept over me, assessing my state with a disconcerting intensity that sent a shiver down my spine.
"You've been up all night, you should get some sleep," He stated, his tone layered with concern and a trace of sternness.
His words caught me off-guard, my eyes widening and eyebrows arching in surprise. The question of how he knew hung unsaid between us, adding to the intensity of the moment.
"I went on a late-night walk last night," He clarified, interpreting my silent question. "You must be exhausted. You should get some rest."
I found myself shaking my head in defiance. We had a predetermined schedule, a code of discipline that I was determined to follow. The activities of the previous night were no excuse to deviate from the duties that the new day brought.
With resolve solidifying within me, I squared my shoulders and adopted a fighting stance. His presence, while disconcerting, would not deter me. After all, I was a warrior now, and warriors didn't back down.
"So be it," Orryn conceded, a spark of admiration lighting up his eyes as he observed my determined posture. He unfolded his crossed arms, revealing the expanse of his chiseled torso that gleamed in the gentle morning light.
With a grace that seemed at odds with his muscular physique, he too adopted a fighting stance. His feet spaced apart, grounding him securely to the earth. His strong arms hung loosely at his sides, yet the potential power they possessed was unmistakable. There was an air of calm control about him, a quiet strength that resonated from his every pore.
His determined gaze met mine, creating an invisible tether that connected us despite the physical distance. The moment hung in the air, charged with an anticipation that pulsed in rhythm with our beating hearts. As the training ground continued to come alive around us, the world seemed to narrow down to this one moment.
With a curt nod, Orryn lunged forward, initiating our sparring session. His movements were quicker, sharper, and more aggressive than the day before. The first swing of his arm was a blur, aimed directly at my torso. I dodged, barely managing to avoid the swift strike. His heavy boot followed, aiming to sweep me off my feet, but I leapt over it, landing on the balls of my feet, ready for the next onslaught.
He didn't wait, didn't let me regain my footing, attacking with an urgency I hadn't expected. His strong hand shot out, catching me in the midsection. The impact sent me sprawling backwards onto the training ground. The audience gasped, but I ignored them, pushing up from the ground and springing back to my feet.
His eyes twinkled with something akin to delight at my resilience. Again and again, Orryn forced me onto the defensive, his blows raining down faster and harder than before. Every time I found myself flipped onto my butt, the hard ground jarring my body, stirring up clouds of dust. But with each fall, I rose again, gritting my teeth against the pain and fatigue that sought to consume me.
Despite the apparent ruthlessness, I could sense Orryn's control. His strikes were carefully measured, just enough to push me, to test my limits, but not enough to truly harm me. I could see it in his eyes, a fierce determination, a silent promise that he would mold me into a warrior, even if it meant knocking me down a hundred times.
As I sprawled on the ground for what felt like the umpteenth time, my muscles screaming in protest, I realized the worth of his relentless aggression. It was in the struggle, in the constant fight to stand back up, that I was learning. I was learning to anticipate his moves, to react quicker, and, most importantly, to endure.
Orryn's grueling methods were painful, yet necessary. As I stood up, wiping the dirt from my face and meeting his gaze, I understood that I was not just being trained to fight; I was being trained to survive. With a deep breath, I squared my shoulders, ready for the next wave of Orryn's ruthless attacks.