There was a small, fragile boy.
White hair and lavender eyes. He was a child with a mysterious charm.
He was still immature, with a selfish and self-centered personality.
I remember that boy.
I look at the man who collapsed in front of me now.
I recall.
Current Nox von Reihaver.
He's.
Is he really the same person who hurled verbal abuse at me during my childhood past?
To reflect on this, I have to go back to a distant past.
Back to the moment that even I can't fully remember, the moment that left me with trauma.
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[Side Story - Past, The Memories of Young Eleanor]
"Eleanor! I have great news! The Reinhaver family has officially recognized our merchant group, and even invited us to the prestigious noble family's social party"
It had been three years since I started working as an accounting assistant for the Rivalin Merchant Group.
I was still young.
It had been a long time since I'd heard my father's excited voice.
My father was the first head of the Rivalin family and the very person who developed this merchant group.
Clarkson de Rivalin.
At first, I was simply happy.
My mother, who had always suffered from poor health since my father started his merchant.
Finally had a chance to celebrate together
"Especially the head of the family, Lord Theo von Reinhaver, himself seems to have a high opinion of your abilities. He said you're the most outstanding of your peers. Even Lord Rodwell said so!"
"Really?"
It was delighted news.
At first, I'd started working to gain my father's attention, but later I realized I had a talent for it, so I planned to continue.
Being recognized by someone was more essential than anything else to young me.
And if it was a head of a noble family?
Of course, It couldn't get any better.
Naturally, as a child, I had a vague admiration for nobles.
I just thought they were born different from us, with a certain elegance in their walk and attire, eating only special foods while engaging in conversation.
That's why I was excited, thinking that there were only good things, picking out a dress for the party and looking forward to meeting kids my age to talk to.
I could barely remember the last time I met someone my age because I'd been so busy with work. My father told me it would be a good experience.
I still clearly remember my mother's bright smile.
And how happy I was. I even practiced smiling every day in front of the mirror. I remember all clearly.
Of course, as time flies, when the day of the party came, and we arrived…
All those illusions were shattered.
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"To think commoners dares to attend a party hosted by the Reinhaver family…"
"How low-class, what's this?"
"Laughable. How can these lowly…"
On the day of the party.
The gazes directed at us were anything but kind.
Looking back, I think I understand now.
They couldn't stand the idea of commoners like us coming at the party where they communicated.
But back then, I didn't understand the ways of adults, so I couldn't help but be shocked. Even if it was the first time I saw it, the hostility they showed, the sneering looks as if they were disgusted by us…
That day, I realized for the first time that someone who didn't even know me could hate me.
It scared me.
The figures of my parents who were so happy for this.
I was more scared that their illusions shattered.
"Father…."
But when I squeezed my father's hand tightly and looked at him.
My father just kept smiling.
He was simply happy just to be there.
He looked like that.
Even though I wanted to run away, I froze when I saw my father's face at that time.
It was because, he was genuinely happy, without a trace of pretense.
As a child, I wondered.
Why?
No one here welcomed us, but why did my father like them?
Or was just being here such a great and honorable thing?
Maybe it was only natural for people born as low as us to be treated this way?
As I was lost in those trivial thoughts, my father whispered softly to me.
"Eleanor, smile. And remember, never say anything harsh or get into a fight with the noble children."
"Yes…."
My father told me to smile.
That was all.
It's okay,
Don't worry, there were no words like these.
At that moment, I couldn't help but feel like I had been abandoned, left alone in the crowded social hall.
This wasn't the kind of social gathering or party I had imagined.
"So… I heard your son has gone off for knight training. How's that going?"
"Well, you know… being a knight isn't exactly easy…"
"Eii~ I even heard he did well in the Eldain Academy. Stop being modest"
This profligate place was full of nobles, chatting and drinking without care.
They hid their true feelings, exchanging meaningless compliments.
While rumors of corruption flowed naturally.
Watching this, I was shocked.
Was it because of the nobles?
No, it wasn't that.
In fact, that wasn't. It was the person right next to me.
It was because of my father.
He genuinely wanted to be a part of this social circle, to have his place here.
It was as if my mother and I didn't matter at all. His eyes were filled with greed.
"Good evening. Though I'm of humble status, I am Clarkson of the Rivalin family. Since it seems we're going to meet often in social circles. I hope we get along well."
I had seen my father bow many times before, but never had it felt so disgusting.
Just because they held titles, my father became endlessly servile.
In the end, I let go of my father's hand.
After that, I wandered aimlessly, looking around.
I didn't remember anything.
Just the disgusted looks, as if I was filthy, and trembling with fear at the gaze of the taller and older guys, as if they were going lay their hand on me no matter what.
"Hey… what are you doing here? Is this your first time come here?"
That was the time.
When I heard a young, curious voice calling me.
I turned around, shrinking back. There was a boy with white hair and lavender eyes, you could tell at a glance that he was someone who fit in perfectly in this setting.
It was clear he was dressed in fine silk clothes.
Even at a glance, he has a restrained, noble demeanor.
A boy with the most beautiful smile.
Sadly, that was my first impression of Nox von Reinhaver.
I stammered in response to his question.
"Uh… That's… I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable…"
"Huh? Why are you apologizing?"
Nox sat down beside me as he said that.
I had been sitting on the stairs, and from Nox's position, he must've thought that it was dirty. Even now, I still don't know why he did that.
Was he trying to make fun of me?
Regardless, our conversation continued. I don't remember all of it, but I recall that it lasted quite a while.
"Where are you from? Are you from a noble family?"
"No…We're from the Rivalin family, which just received its peerage…"
Even at a young age, I knew my father had used questionable methods to become a noble. So I trailed off, and Nox asked again.
"Ah, I see. My father did mention a new family joining this time. It must be yours."
"Yes… probably."
"How old are you?"
"I, I'm ten…"
"We're the same age! Then you don't have to speak so formally!"
"Eh? How could I, to the Duke's family, such…"
"Ugh, that's boring…"
Nox muttered in genuine disappointment.
Maybe he didn't have friends either?
Maybe he was hoping for a chance like this inside.
Summoning courage, I asked.
"That…. You're Nox von Reinhaver-nim, right? The youngest of the Reinhaver family?"
"Oh, you know my name? Usually, people only remember my brothers' names."
"Yes…"
I had memorized his name beforehand since my father had told me not to offend anyone, but being praised for it made me excited.
I found myself starting to feel a little better.
Suddenly, Nox lifted his head and gazed up at the lattice pattern on the ceiling. Then, out of nowhere, he spoke.
"Actually, I don't really like these kinds of parties."
"Yes?"
"I don't like acting all proper… Kids my age draw a line with me, and when I try to hang out with them, they avoid me. It's boring"
Listening to him, I thought to myself, I want to talk with him more.
Maybe I was happier because I realized there was someone here who was as isolated and lonely as I was.
"I'm… learning accounting in the merchant group"
"Uwaa… that's amazing. You're the same age as me! I can't do anything like that yet."
"It's… it's not impressive."
"No, it is! It totally is! My mother told me the Rivalin Merchant Guild has gotten really famous recently. I had no idea someone my age was working so hard."
Nox scratched his head and looked at me before speaking.
"I should try harder too… It's frustrating. I want to do better, but it just doesn't come easy for me."
"What are you working on, Nox-nim?"
"Swordsmanship. Everyone in the Reinhaver family is all about swords! They're fussy about training. But, my oldest brother is so good… As you can see, my body is weak, and I am not really good at it, so everyone hate me"
"Ah…"
I couldn't find any comforting words.
Who was I to comfort Nox von Reinhaver, the youngest of the esteemed Reinhaver family?
Did I even have the right to? I keep immersed in that thought
— Before you speak, remember the difference in status first. Then, think about wealth. Only speak after considering both.
My father's words.
That advice had been ingrained in me since childhood.
Because of that, I couldn't easily comfort or encourage him. At this point, Nox wasn't known as a ruffian.
I didn't think he was bad either.
Not long after.
Suddenly two figures appeared in front of the stairs where we sat.
White hair, but their features were a bit less distinct compared to Nox. Two boys stood there and looked at us.
They seemed a little older than us. Later, I learned that they were Allen von Reinhaver and Hats von Reinhaver.
In other words, Nox's twin brothers.
Anyway, they approached us and glanced at me before speaking.
"Nox, What's this? Who's this lowly commoner girl?"
"…Brother."
"Yeah, what is this? We told you before, didn't we? Don't engage in behavior that lowers the Reinhaver family's dignity. Or what, have you become friends with her in the meantime?"
At his brother's words, Nox hesitated for a moment, glancing at me briefly. Then, he made an expression as if convinced of something, and he avoided my gaze as he spoke.
"It was just out of brief curiosity. How could I ever be friends with such filthy trash?"
Boom.
If my heart could make a sound, I'm sure it would have been like that. For the young me, his word was that shocking. It was because I had a good feeling about Nox
But all of that was an illusion.
It was useless.
At that moment, I fully realized what feelings I wasn't allowed to have.
That was when I finally understood.
That this is how the noble world works, someone who was talking happily with you just moments ago could turn on you like this.
That in this social hall, I was nothing but prey.