Well. I may as well beat Kuroka to the punch then-
Kuroka went straight up Rossweisse's side, a sly smirk splitting her mouth as she took one of the poor trembling silver-haired girl's arms, "Teach you, nyah~? You'll have to be more specific with what you want, ya know~?"
Shit.
Rossweisse turned and blinked at the cat, confused, "...I t-though I was…?"
Kuroka's smirk somehow grew, "Not quite! See, he could teach how to stand up to that wrinkly old man…" Rossweisse's expression sterned slightly, only to do a complete one-eighty as Kuroka continued unabated, "Or! He could show you how to make all his jokes at your expense completely invalid, nyah~!"
…Kuroka is a terrible wingman.
Wing cat?
Then again, same shit with Shirone.
Also, he was less joking and more blatantly trying to embarrass and insult her…
But I can bring that up later when Rossweisse isn't turning the color of the short-form version of her name; a rose red.
"...Eh?" The Valkyrie squeaks out, going stock still, "W-Well…there's no way he'd…I'm…" She began to mutter out what sounded like excuses in rapid succession.
…You know what? Fuck it, I'll play.
I stopped her by merely waving her off, "Nah, I totally would. Honestly, Asgard must be full of blind, deaf, and dumb morons if not a single one has ever asked you out."
Rossweisse blinked at me, slowly, her eyes becoming increasingly more foggy with every second.
Hmm…I can't tell which type of crying she's about to do. Sad cry, or happy cry.
Maybe both?
Probably both.
Before Rossweisse could explode though, Suzaku came up to her other side, taking her other arm, shooting a frown at both myself and the cat.
"Alright, that's enough you two," she hushed us both, before turning to Rossweisse, "I think she's been through enough emotional turmoil for one day."
Rossweisse babbled something out incoherently, while I simply shrugged back, while Kuroka leaned toward her, and smirked.
Suzaku rolled her eyes at us, before patting the side of Rossweisse's face, "Oh you poor dear…let's go inside and get you something to drink. Have you ever tried tea before?"
Rossweisse sniffled, "I…yes…but I wouldn't want to impose on you all…"
"It's fine," I spoke up again, "you would be doing no such thing. We got tons of space, after all!"
Rossweisse looked between the three of us, then back towards the direction Odin's carriage flew away, before turning back to us and giving a sad defeated sigh.
"...Very well," She concedes, in a small voice, "but I- EH!?" Only to cry out in shock as Kuroka suddenly jerks her away, and starts walking with her.
"Ah~! We're going to have so much fun these next few days, Rose-chan~! Nyah~!" Kuroka espoused while sauntering away with her.
"You damn cat! Don't be so rough with her!" Suzaku called, effectively being dragged along as well.
"O-Okay…? Wait…Rose-chan!?" Rossweisse cried out exasperation.
I watched the three of them go with a chuckle, Kuroka cackling as Suzaku tried futilely to chastise her, and Rossweisse started panicking at everything going on around her.
Ganbatte, Rossweisse! You'll need it when dealing with those two! Especially the cat.
Once they leave though, I let out a tired sigh.
Odin's going to be around for a bit, touring Japan officially, kind of like a vacation, before the official meeting.
Knowing the maidenless old man, most of the places he'll probably go to are the titty clubs, and restaurants, I'll bet.
No red light districts though. He's maidenless, and for some reason, he'd rather look at titties than get any.
…Man, what did this world do to the badass god of war and magic that hung himself for nine days and nights, all for knowledge?
I can sort of see why Loki would want Ragnarok with Odin being like this! I'd be embarrassed too if the literal head and face of the entire pantheon acted like that all the time.
I'd legitimately rather deal with the God of War version of Odin, over the DxD version of Odin, especially for several days straight.
I'm going to run out of barbed insults eventually! And I refuse to lower myself to his level and reuse the same old line over and over again.
Even if it'd be funny, and true!
At least they still have Thor. He's still a badass, right?
I don't recall him ever showing up in the series, so I suppose there's still hope.
More like copium. But still.
I let out a low, annoyed, groan, before heading back inside.
Loki better attack soon, or I'll do his mission for him.
~ A New Sun ~
Literally the next day.
So. First things first, Odin likes going out at night.
Fuck me.
He refuses to go out in the daytime because, in his own words, "All the fun stuff only happens at night~! Gheehee!"
"You don't do anything fun though?" I had retorted.
"Ack! Damn brat!" He spat as if struck back.
He's easy to bully because he's so pathetic.
Anyhow! The first night, the first place we go to?
A Kyabakura. Or in the Freedom Language, a Hostess Club.
Now, the thing about these clubs? There is no dancing, nudity, sexy times; none of that.
No, you go there for mildly flirtatious conversation and drinks.
This is why as we landed in front of said establishment, hilariously called "Club Fluff", my eyebrow immediately started twitching.
Directly across from me in the carriage, sat the pathetic old man who was for some reason giggling like a pervert.
To my right, Kuroka looked out, and instantly deadpanned at our first destination.
Rossweisse, who was sitting next to Odin, looked over, saw Odin's expression, and was about to begin chastising him when Kuroka reached over and grabbed her arm, stopping her with a shake of her head.
Outside, I saw the several hidden Shinto Priests and Youkai guards following us all sharing similar deadpans, along with Suzaku, who looked like she wanted to die.
Same, Suza, same.
"Well?" Odin called out, toward me specifically, "You going to get the door for your country's guest, brat?"
My head robotically swiveled to look at him, my dead look making him flinch.
"I didn't think my opinion of you could go any lower," I began, "but it has. You'd have to find the pieces in Malebolge." I unceremoniously kicked open the door, "Get out you pathetic old man."
Odin huffs as he shuffles to exit the carriage, "What? It ain't that bad!"
"You're paying to simply talk to girls." I stated, dead inside.
"Bha! It's about the experience! You just wouldn't get it brat!" He exclaims, shaking his divine artifact cane at me.
"Yes. Because I don't need to pay to talk to girls. Nor do I need to pay to see titties…or even get some pussy." I then slam the door shut, as the old man shouts…something…in indignation, back.
He eventually huffs, turns, and waddles in happily the next second later.
From the top of the carriage, a large pink fox jumps down, its form shifting into that of Inari soon after.
She shoots me a predatory, yet apologetic, smile before following him in.
Huh. Club Fluff.
Inari manages this place, doesn't she?
Well, at least Inari is happy milking him for all he's worth though.
Not like I'd consider him worth much of anything, to be honest
"Paying…to talk to girls…?" Rossweisse's head slowly tilted as she parroted my words from earlier, in absolute befuddlement.
"Yup." I confirm with a depressed sigh.
"But that's…not even the slightest bit lewd…?" Rossweisse continued, disbelieving.
"It isn't, it's just plain pathetic." I wave off.
"Are you sure!?" Rossweisse pipes up again, so loudly that I flinch a little.
I rub the bridge between my nose, "Yes, Rose. That's all it is."
Rossweisse inches back slightly, cheeks flushing slightly.
I've used Kuroka calling her Rose-chan as an opportunity to adopt the short form of her name myself.
Mostly because saying or thinking Rossweisse is getting legitimately tiring.
She's still not used to it, but granted, it's only been a day. No surprise there really.
Kuroka nods as she joins in, "Mhmm~! Essentially, you buy drinks for them, not even alcoholic ones, and you get to talk to them for like…30, 45 minutes? Something like that, nyah~! It's pretty sad!"
I nod along in agreement, and add, "Most people that go are the overworked office worker types, that just want a place to go to unwind, feel wanted…stuff like that.
"Apparently, some companies even go so far as to sponsor or pay the tabs of employees going to said clubs." I shake my head in distaste at that.
I like to make jokes from time to time, about how awful the work culture is here, but really? It's just fucking sad.
And it's not something a blade can fix. Probably.
"That's…kind of sad." Rose frowned, and I nodded.
"And your boss just happily walked into one, nyah~!" Kuroka pointed with a mischievous smile on her face, prompting Rose to flinch and look at the carriage floor, humming in embarrassment.
"You know, Rose-chan~!" Kuroka continued, leaning slightly toward her, "There's also Host Clubs that cater to girls~..."
Rose suddenly shoots up, sitting up straight as her eyes widen, "R-Really?" She leans back toward Kuroka, suspiciously eager, perhaps a little too eager, "...what are t-they like?"
…Really, Kuroka?
Also, damn, Rose must be desperate as fuck.
I decide to step in before Kuroka's trolling just makes her freak out again.
"Just the same as a Hostess Club." I interject, much to Kuroka's pouting and Rose's slump in disappointment, "Sometimes, it's even worse. Truly desperate women get caught up racking huge debts to those types of clubs, with the fake as hell hosts essentially stringing them along…" I trail off with a shake of my head and sigh.
Both sides here have it rough, huh?
I wonder how much money it would take being thrown at the politicians to get something done about this.
"Debt!?" Rose suddenly shrieked, prompting both me and Kuroka to jump in our seats, "That! Those fiends! Taking advantage of desperate women like that! How could they…!" Rose clenched her fists, true fury burning in her eyes.
Huh. I guess that would kind of hit close to home with her, wouldn't it?
Since she is super into budgeting, and she's she's very desperate girl…yikes.
I reach over, placing my hand atop her head, and patting it.
Rose immediately shrivels back up, that fire dying as her face burns and her words stutter, "W-What are you-!?"
"You don't gotta worry about anything, Rose." I smile her way, cutting off her stuttering, "You can totally get a boyfriend, without getting tricked at some stupid club!"
"E-Eh!? That's not what I w-was-!"
Kuroka this time cut off her rebuttal, by enthusiastically agreeing with me, "Yeah, Rose-chan~! You're very pretty! With a body to die for just like me, nyah~!"
I turn my head and deadpan down at my cat girl, as she shuffles against my side, wrapping her arms around my torso, "All you need to do is find someone like my darling Nori-kun here who won't hesitate to snatch you right up and pound you into a sex coma in the first night!"
I blinked.
Subtlety. Thou art not Kuroka.
Then Rose blinked.
Then her face turned red, so red, I thought she was about to spontaneously combust.
But instead, she simply just stared.
"...Kuroka." I started.
"Yes, darling~?" She replied, sultry.
"If she's broken, you're paying for her." I continued, my tone unchanging in the slightest.
"Nyah~!? But I don't have any money!" Kuroka exclaimed in indignation.
Of course she spent all her allowance already, not surprising in the slightest.
I sigh, tuning out a rambling Kuroka as she proceeds to beg for money for…something else.
Keeping my stare on Rose, I see she's entirely shut down.
Shame, too. I was going to ask her something about Odin, something I was always curious about from the original novels.
Ah, well. There's always tomorrow, I guess?
~ A New Sun ~
"Woohoo! Gheeheeheehee~!"
I stare up, blankly, as the steel roller coaster zooms by.
In the front car? Odin. Giggling like a madman all the while.
I can't even fault the guy for acting like a child here, it seems fun, even though roller coasters aren't really for me.
Well, that, and if I call Odin a child, I'd have call-
"OH YEAH! LET'S GO! WOOOOO!"
Another man's screams temporarily overpower my thoughts.
There, in the last car of this particular roller coaster, sat Byakko.
He's not supposed to be here, but when he heard Odin wanted to hit up this theme park, Fuji-Q Highland, he came racing right over.
See, he's part of a perimeter of Youkai and Clans Priests, all set up in several circles around where Odin is at any given time.
Barriers are put up to prevent normal people from seeing us, and to detect where everyone is at any given time.
To guard against Loki's shape-shifting bullshit, personnel swap regularly, exchanging passwords while remaining within the sensory barrier.
Alongside that, the people that show up for the job change every day, just in case Loki tries anything when Odin isn't out and about, like say, kidnapping and trying to impersonate a Youkai from the other day to get it.
That's a simplified version of our security setup, anyhow.
I've got clones with the people monitoring everything, so in case something happens, or they detect something, the clone can pop and tell me right away so I can jump to action.
The specific perimeter Byakko there belongs to is technically the 'frontlines', where if Loki wanted to brute force his way through, he'd be right in the path of it.
It's the point he wanted very vehemently, but it's Byakko, so…
To my right, I put a hand on Suzaku's shoulder, to stop her from trying to blow the coaster completely off its tracks with her eyes alone.
Or at least, that's what it looks like she's trying to do. And I don't doubt she probably could.
She looks at me, clearly annoyed, before huffing and crossing her arms, a hard frown plastered across her face.
Wouldn't want to be the Byakko later when we pack it up, I know that.
To my left, Rose was worryingly overlooking several sheets of paper, the way she kept mumbling about 'cutting corners' and 'skipping meals' made me think she was looking over their budget.
So, I reach over and gently take the– oh damn wait that's several dozens of paper, a whole bloody packet.
Regardless, I take the packet away from her, prompting her to suddenly perk and turn to me, frowning similarly to Suzaku, "Hey! I was working on that!" She snapped, her voice accented slightly…I can't put my finger on what kind of accent it is exactly though.
Northern Icelandic, maybe?
Regardless, I think it sounded cute.
"This your guy's budget?" I ask, waving the packet around, prompting Rose to nod curtly.
I then proceed to throw it in a nearby trash.
"Wait a minute!" She lunges to catch it midair, but I grab her by the shoulder to stop her, just like I did Suzaku.
"Yeah, no. Don't bother you. You were never gonna balance that thing for the trip here." I snorted out that simple fact.
Rose legitimately scowled, her accent thickening, "Well I have to try!"
"Even when the old fart won't follow it?" I ask.
"W-Well…still…it's my job…" Her accent dipped a bit as she fiddled with her fingers, looking down.
I deadpanned at her, "Yesterday, he bought the time of seven girls, all for three to six hours, at the same time."
Suzaku cringed hearing those numbers, and Rossweisse just slumped further.
"Today, he's already ridden that roller coaster," I pointed toward it as it zoomed past again, "four times. And as soon as we got here, the man somehow pulled a Kuroka and bought out two food stands."
Not going to lie, that managed to impress me.
It also made Kuroka want to outdo him, which is why she took my card and ran off with it.
That's why Suzaku's with me right now.
Rose fidgeted in place, and started sniffling, "I know…I know, okay!?" she cried out, accent now completely gone, "It's just…I don't…want to be more of a failure than I already am…"
…Damn this girl needs a genuine hug.
I pat her on the head gently, "I know, and you're not a failure. Especially in this case. Inari is trying to milk Odin for all he's worth, and I'm pretty sure he knows it, but just doesn't care."
"He probably doesn't…" Rose agreed solemnly, before sighing, "At this rate, I won't even have enough to feed myself."
"Eh, don't worry about it." I wave her concerns off, "We'll…well, more like I because it's my money, will take care of you."
Rose twitched and finally looked up at me, "W-What!? No! I couldn't ask you-"
"You're not asking. I'm doing it because I want to." I cut her off plainly.
"But t-thats! Still!" Rose tried to protest.
I merely smirk down at her, "Sides'? I'm set, I don't have infinite money, but even with Kuroka spending frivolously, I can live comfortably for a good few human lifetimes easily."
Rose blinks at that, "...Lifetimes?" She parrots, almost as though she's in a daze.
I slowly raised an eyebrow at her, "...yeah? So, you'll be fine."
Rose quickly turns her head away, looking anywhere but at me.
Huh. Now that I'm thinking about it, I know Rose had this thing about money.
Isn't she not paid well under Odin or something along those lines? Too vague of a detail to recall clearly. But I think it was something like that.
"Rossweisse-san?" Suzaku suddenly joins in, calling to the Valkyrie.
Said Valkyrie jumps, turning to look at her, face completely red, "Y-Yes! Lady Suzaku?"
"Are you having problems with money yourself? I recall Lord Odin mentioning budget cuts to your squad, does that include…?" She trailed off, allowing Rose to take over with a sad nod.
"Yes, our salaries haven't been…the most substantial, recently." She sighs out, "Though they are enough to live off of, barely…"
Just how fucked is Asgard nowadays, jeez.
Maybe even if Odin doesn't leave her behind after all this, I should just snatch her up myself, as in legitimately hiring the poor girl.
Not sure for what though. Rose would look great in anything I put her in, I'd bet. Even a legit trash bag.
Maybe as a legit secretary to Uzume's maid?
Hmm…food for thought.
Suzaku gave Rose a sympathetic nod, as an idea formed in my head.
"Well, Byakko clearly has an eye on Odin right now. So!" I take both Suzaku and Rose's hands prompting them both to look at me with a blush, "Why don't we three run off and have some fun?"
"F-Fun~!?" Rose jumps as I finish speaking.
Oi. It's only been a couple of days. Don't tell me the cat already turned you into a pervert.
Suzaku was much more subdued, but I caught that flicker of a smirk when I said fun.
Instead of pulling a Rose, she merely smiled lightly and asked softly, "What did you have in mind?"
"Well, I heard this place has the world's largest attraction," I smile wickedly, "the Haunted Hospital. We can even see it from here, I think."
Well, its real name is the Fuji-Q Highland's Super Scary Labyrinth of Fear, but fuck calling it that.
It also looks more like a rundown Japanese school than a hospital, but still. It's supposedly one of the scariest places in the world.
I'm not surprised, as I can feel the several dozen spirits and Youkai inhabitants. So for mundane people, it probably is.
…Inari most definitely had a hand in building this place, didn't she?
Rose tilted her head in thought, looking at the old building in the distance, "...a haunted attraction? Well. It certainly is that at least…"
Suzaku meanwhile, smirked at me, "My oh my, my Lord~? Are you only asking us to come with you so you could have a chance to hold our bodies when we get scared?"
Rose squeaked at that, "H-Hold our bodies!?"
I smirked right back down at Suzaku, "Me holding you? Who's to say it isn't the other way around, hmm? I just figured a shrine maiden like you would jump at the chance to hold her god…"
"Like me, huh~...?" Suzaku giggled airly at that, "Who's to say?"
"O-Oh my..." Rose trembled, looking between the two of us, "How lewd…"
I chuckled at both of them, "Well, come along!" I start walking, promptly dragging the two with me.
Suzaku gives an almost Akeno-like giggle, while Rose continues sputtering, though she still allows herself to be dragged along.
I figure we might as well have our fun while we can have it.
~ A New Sun ~
Another few nights have passed by now, and for once, it's a rather calming one.
A few days of doing nothing but clubbing and hitting up amusement parks would do that to anyone, I guess.
So tonight? Odin decided to hit up an onsen, or hot springs, for a relaxing night for once.
The guy is totally trying to perv on the girl's side without me in there, but then again, the only reason I'm not in there in the first place is because neither Kuroka nor Suzaku are either.
They're off doing security stuff, which leaves me in the carriage alone with Rose for once.
She didn't go in because she knew what he'd try to do, and wouldn't be able to stop him.
So, it's just us two here, eating a late-night…lunch, I suppose? It is past midnight.
We stopped by a sushi place on the way here because Odin wanted some, so that's what we're munching on now, though, I got to say…
I put my chopsticks down, and with a snap of my fingers, a steaming full teacup appears in my hand.
I quickly take a sip to clear my throat, I swallow down the rest of the fish with a gulp.
"Honestly?" I start with a soft huff, "Not really digging sushi all that much."
Rose blinked at me, putting a hand to her mouth as she swallowed as well, "I'm much more displeased by the cost." She shivered out.
Even I had to cringe a bit, remembering how much our order cost.
It was like, double, maybe triple what sushi normally costs for three people?
These prices are highway robbery! So it's probably Inari again.
I slowly set the boxed sushi down to my side, and stretch out with a tired groan.
Well. While I've got her alone like this, I may as well take this chance to ask her about stuff.
I take another sip of my freshly summoned tea, before continuing with a weak shrug, "Yeah…that's Inari for you." I set the teacup down on top of the box, "Speaking of money though!"
Rose looks at me, an eyebrow raising as she carefully puts the last piece of fish from her box in her mouth.
"You want a job?" I suddenly ask.
Her eyes widened into saucers, "HMM-MMM!?" Then she starts grasping at her throat.
Oh, shit. Now she's choking on fish.
I summon a water bottle and gingerly toss it to her, she snatches the thing up midair and desperately down about half before pulling the bottle away and letting out a long, relieved, sigh.
"...You good?" I tentatively ask.
She nods, before taking a deep breath, and looking at me pointedly, "...what did you just say?"
"I asked if you wanted a job. Well, one that isn't working for Odin?" I repeat, and further elaborate.
She blushes, ferociously, "Like a job working for…you?"
I smile and nod, "Yup! I don't know what kind of job exactly, all I know for sure is though that you'd be great pretty much anywhere."
Rose stared at me, looking me straight in the eyes. I think she was trying to detect any signs of deceit, or waiting for a punchline at her expense. Anything.
But I instead just stared at her back.
Until eventually, she got the memo and looked away, twiddling around with her fingers.
"I…can't just…the position of Lord Odin's bodyguard and escort is supposed to be a high honor…" she states, very weakly.
"Supposed to be, huh?" I muse, "Doesn't feel like it, does it?"
Rose twitched, for a brief second, a flash of intense sadness and anger passed over her features, "...the position really should be renamed 'Odin's Maid' or 'Odin's Servant Girl' that…" she let out a sigh, "that's what the other Valkyries call me, after all…"
I reach over and pat her on the head.
"And even then, I bet you do a really damn good job, yeah?"
She smiles, just a tad, "...I try."
I give her a little hum, "I know. Now, I also know…despite being a more 'hit it with a sword' type of guy, stealing you from Odin right now probably ain't the best idea. But!" I reach down, gently taking her chin, and guide her head to look up at me.
"After the Norse and Shinto make their alliance? I'll call it fair game. So, you don't have to answer right now," I give her a sincere smile, "just know my door is open, and very welcoming if you want an out, or he does something stupid like toss you away, alright?"
Rose looks at me, a legitimate sparkle in her eyes, "...O-Okay…" she states, voice so small I almost can't hear her, "...Thank you."
I have to resist the urge to pull the poor girl into a hug right this damn second.
If I do get pulled into Rose's future arranged marriage plotline, I'm going to relish beating as many Asgardians to a pulp as I can.
But before then? The time is nearing closer.
Loki shall be my first.