Hell doesn't have stairs.
A part of me is both simultaneously shocked, and appalled by that fact.
While the rest of me is wondering just how long this fall is supposed to take.
I narrow my eyes incredulously, not that it helps me see anything at all, but more so because I finally recall that I can fly.
My descent slows to a gentle float as my halo blazes to life at my back.
Turning my head slightly, I still see…pretty much nothing at all.
The darkness is smothering the light of my halo nearly in its entirety, so all I can see is a blurred outline of the thing perching at my back.
With a displeased huff, I activate my eyes.
Still nothing.
Fuck.
Carefully, I hold either arm to my side, not finding anything, I begin flying down once more, spread eagle.
Unlike before however, I quickly accelerated, going down much faster than when I was normally falling.
That led me somewhere much quicker, I felt, as in no time at all I could see again.
How? Well, by blasting out of the hole I was flying through…which was in the sky.
I stopped, dead in my tracks, air thundering as I braked hard, and whirled around to look up.
The entire sky is rock.
One big, large, almost cave or chamber-looking cover as far as I could see across the realm.
Here and there, you'd see stalagmites, moss, roots, and other cave things, but it never stopped being rock.
No clouds, no rain, unless you called the occasional smattering of dust such things.
Turning back around, facing toward the…uh, ground, proper, I suppose, I find something equally depressing and…confusing.
I'm above Kyoto now, or at least, the twisted dark reflection of Kyoto here in Yomi.
Yet, I didn't enter Yomi from anywhere near Kyoto, so, what?
Looking carefully, and I mean, really carefully, everything being the same bland grays and blacks kind of makes everything meld together, I catch a glimpse of something very out of place.
Next to the city, directly west, a swath of destroyed stone, black wood, and other very easy-to-miss broken materials are strewn about, forming a long hill of debris.
Ah, right, Yomi is the reflection of Earth. Earth possessed a bridge to the Heavens, the Ame-no-Ukihashi, the Floating Bridge of Heaven.
This would be a nice place for a bridge, wouldn't it?
Although in this case, I suppose the bridge here would connect Yomi to the Earth.
However, if the bridge in Yomi is destroyed, then one Earth is destroyed as well, as Yomi reflects the Earth.
Think I may have even caught a glimpse of it in the Shinkai once…
I shake my head, side to side, dispelling those thoughts.
I can always ask Uzume about that later, she lived on the bridge, after all, I've got more important matters to attend to.
Patting myself down real fast, I find my snack bag has miraculously survived the trip so far.
Single strap, like my sword sheath, it hangs at my waist.
I didn't forget about it, so much as I simply put it out of my mind there for a moment, especially after the Shinigami ambush.
Giving a small sigh of relief, I look out across the dreary, depressing landscape, and try to sense anything.
My senses immediately do the equivalent of a rubber band, recoiling in disgust on instinct and slapping my sixth sense with loads of the most putrid feelings I'd ever felt before.
It made me want to vomit. It made me want to run away, go home, and jump in the shower for the next week. It made me want to light this entire place with flam–
I slap myself across the face as my power stirs like a cornered, rabid, injured animal.
My honey-colored aura was bubbling around my form, a deep burn churning throughout my body as I let out a deep, haggard sigh.
Right. Yomi is unclean. The origin of the worst taint to ever plague the Shinto world, death.
My very being is repulsed by this place. Honestly, in this case, my lack of developed sensing abilities is coming in clutch here.
Although, if I can't sense anyone, finding Tobio or Uncle, or even my grandmother, is going to be a pain here.
Susanoo had a Palace at one point on Earth. I know that much, but a direct location was never given.
Ah, but I do know where Mt. Oe should be, and I also know that the Oni there should know where at the very least Izanami is.
I cringe, internally and externally, at the idea of meeting more horny oni lolis, but to be honest it's a much better idea than my other idea.
That being, launch a Holy Spirit Power firework into the air like how I met Fox Princess.
If this is the place where the Shinigami come from, I'd rather not send a signal flare to a whole ass army of them.
Can't believe I'd rather deal with horny lolis than fight, but one would take much less time than the other, so…
Horny Loli Mountain it is, then!
I'm…going to need several showers after this…
~ A New Sun ~
Thankfully, the trip to the Oni Museum went rather uneventfully, which feels…right, in this realm.
I flew over, high above the city and streets, yet still close enough to see the depressingly haunting outlines of souls shambling about.
Everything is somber, everything emits melancholy, it's insane.
No wonder all the souls I've seen look nearly identical, they all start blending in with the world around them.
The comparison to Limbo is weak, this is an entirely different kind of Hell, and I doubt anything is going to change my mind on that.
Especially as I made it to the Oni Museum, and right in front of the statue, the gate, that leads to true Mt. Oe.
Fortunately, I didn't have to break in, as the statue's maw was already wide open.
Just like the scenery, even the glowy swirling energy power looks dull and gloomy.
Oh yeah. Most definitely a special type of hell.
In any case, I walk through it, and as soon as I step foot on the other side.
My aura-coated hand shoots up to catch a dull-looking blade as it tries to cleave into my neck, stopping it long before it can reach me.
Deja vu. Also, I'm not impressed.
I send an unamused look down at the stoic little shit who did it, my eyes narrowing at the small, red-clad oni loli.
I'm seeing a pattern forming here. Purple, yellow, red hair, eyes, clothes…is this pack of Oni girls a super sentai team, or a magical girl squad?
At least she has a sword, a katana to be precise, I can respect that difference at least.
She narrows her eyes up at me, but beyond that, her face remains stern and stoic, locked in a constant deadpan.
Cheap Koneko ripoff, I see.
"You…" she starts, soft and quiet, "you aren't–"
"Apple Loli."
Her eyes widened as I cut her off.
"Wha–"
"You are Apple Loli." I intone, cutting her off again.
Really. I would have gone with Tomato Loli, but Ibaraki is the best Tomato, no one tops him.
"But…Apples can be–" She tried to deny it, but I moved.
In a blur of motion, I grab her wrists and lift her straight into the air, her katana still held firmly in her grasp.
She blinked slowly at me and then came my aura.
Look. As much as I would love to do this whole song and dance again, I would rather not.
In general.
So, time to speed run this shit.
Almost immediately, her pupils dilated, and she shivered, "Kami…"
"Correct." I nodded, "Know where I can find my Grandmother and Uncle? They don't exactly have a big sign pointing their way after all."
"Grandmother and U-Uncle…?" Her eyes widened much more considerably, "Lady Izanami and Lord Susanoo…!?"
"Mhmm. Correct in two." I hum out, "So, where do I go?"
She jerks her head away, "I…I do not know."
Eh?
"We do not…Lord S-Susanoo doesn't allow us in the Lady's home, or even near it…" She continues, voice quivering, "She comes to visit us here, however, s-so…"
"You never even had the need, huh?" I finished for her, to her quickly nodding confirmation.
I sigh, deeply, "Well. Shit." And promptly set her down, letting go of her hands in the process.
She seems befuddled by the act, judging by her small little, "E-Eh?" at the action.
Which gets even worse when I reach over and pat her on the head, "Sorry about that, Apple, I ran into Banana and Grapefruit on the way into Yomi…it was a whole thing, so I wanted to get to the point quicker with you." I apologize solemnly.
"Banana…and…Grapefruit?" Her eyebrows furrow at that, slightly, "You mean–"
I pat her head one time, extra hard, to interrupt her.
"Banana, Grapefruit." I state clearly, "I'm not gonna call them anything else."
"I…very well?" She tilted her head at that, looking more like a lost puppy by the second.
"They're fine, by the way." I add, "Got caught up in a couple of Shinigami's suicide thingy, but I healed them up."
At that, she frowns, her face hardening back up immediately, "That…shouldn't be. The Shinigami have been confined to Yomi for a long time, only being let out recently to scare the Fallen into submission."
Oh? Susanoo pulled up on the Grigori? I knew he beat and dragged Azazel to the meeting himself, didn't know he pulled up with an army at his back.
Well, there's no kill quite like overkill.
I shrug, "Well, they did. Susan is up to something, most likely."
"Susan?" Apple parroted, looking once more like a very lost puppy.
"Eh, don't worry about it." I wave her off, "My thing to worry about. Anyway! You said Izanami shows up here, yeah?"
She nods slowly, "Yes…she does. Would you like to wait for her here? She should stop by after those two make their report, after all…assuming they don't forget to tell her about the Shinigami, of course." She finishes with a grimace.
I wince slowly at all that, "I was…just gonna bunk outside if that's alright?"
"Hmm? Why?"
I deadpanned at her, "Grapefruit insinuated you were all horny. And I'm not dealing with that."
"Ah…" she scratched the back of her head, and looked away, "that is…fair."
Suddenly, in the distance, I heard…hollering?
Looking off, and finally up the mirrored Mt. Oe properly, instead of a dreary dull Iron Palace, I see a traditional Japanese mansion, still in Yomi colors though.
Or lack thereof, I suppose.
Huh, I'm pretty sure I see a massive dive board or water slide in the back.
Oh yeah, resort. Neat.
What's not so neat, is the half a dozen Oni Lolis running down the hill.
Towards us.
All different colors and some even got different weapons. Like a sledgehammer.
"Nope." I utter, "Not dealing with that!" I start walking backward, quickly, as the hollering gets louder, "Nice meeting you Apple! I like you the best out of your sister's so far! Byyyeee!" I call out, leaping backward and into the portal, into freedom.
My last vision of Yomi Mt. Oe is Apple turning ever so slightly more so her shade of red, as a small mob of oni lolis rush her position in a cacophony of noise.
And barking. One of them, a green one, was barking.
Next thing I know, I appear out on the other side, in Yomi proper, and land on the soft, cold, bouncy–
Wait. I didn't fall, though…
"Hmmm, well now? What do we have here?" A soft, motherly voice, questioned directly behind me.
I blinked. I blinked several times. Before looking back and up dumbly.
The woman, she's slightly taller than me, surprisingly enough. With long, luscious, and flowing black hair, and eyes that glow the only other color I've seen in this realm.
An ethereal, ghostly green.
She raises an amused eyebrow down at me.
Oh yeah. I'm in between her tits.
Good old classic ecchi moment.
It's not like it's my fault her kimono isn't covering her chest.
Seriously, is that the latest fashion trend around this time? Robes halfway down the chest, somehow magically covering the nipple.
Doubt.
I give her a little wave, "Hi, Grandma."
Who else could it be, after all?
"Can I just say, the myths don't do you justice at all." I add in with an honest smile.
She smiles mirthfully back down at me, "I'm not surprised, but I am surprised to find you here specifically…" she hums, before continuing, "Did you happen to take the girl's offer?"
"Haha! No." I denied quickly, pulling myself out of her cleavage in short order, "No, no…I came here to figure out how to get to you and Uncle because I can't exactly sense anything here…"
"Ah, right, your nature," she muses, "yes, I could see how that would be a problem. Ah, well…lucky you, I came to check up on the rest of the girls after I heard what the Shinigami have been up to in the mortal world."
She gives a displeased huff, "Susa better have a good explanation for this one…and, judging by the fact you're here after…recent events, am I to assume you'd like a word with him as well?"
I nod to that, "Yup, I'm looking for a guy named Tobio Ikuse. Apparently, my dear Uncle has something to do with his disappearance?"
Izanami's smile quirked into a knowing smirk, "So it's begun, then?"
Well. That's ominous.
"Do you know where he is?" I ask, tentatively.
"I do, but…well. I think it's best if Susanoo explains himself, don't you think?"
Oh, that is very ominous.
"That would probably be for the best…" I sigh out, "I'd prefer to get this over with as soon as possible, the girls in there," I point my thumb over my shoulder, to the gate behind me, "are very fine, you don't need to worry about them for now."
She raises an eyebrow at that, "Very fine, hmm? How would you know that?"
I stare off into the distance, a dead look in my eyes, "They all charged down the mountain like a pack of wild wolves. One of them, the green one, was literally barking."
Izanami gave an amused chuckle, while patting me on my head, "Oh you poor dear…they haven't seen a man in a long time, well, a strong one anyways. Please forgive them their…eccentricities. They aren't usually so…" she trails off.
"Horny?" I finished for her.
She smiles at that, "Quite."
"Now then," she walks around me, stopping at my back, she drapes her arms over my shoulders, and pulls me flush against her, "I suppose I'll take your word for it that they are safe, and you are correct in your attitude. Getting this over with quickly is important…as much as I'd love to catch up with and meet my new grandson properly." She states with a longing sigh.
"How about after this is all over, then, and Susan stops doing whatever it is he's doing?"
"Hmm…that would be nice, yes." She boops me on the nose with her finger, prompting me to blink, "Thank you."
Despite my confusion at being booped all of a sudden, I managed a smile, "It's no problem."
She smiled down upon me, before muttering as her grip tightened like an embrace of sorts.
"Be still." She muttered, and so I was.
Yomi folded in on itself, torrents of darkness like waves in the middle of an ocean crashed and swirled upon us.
I didn't feel us moving.
Hell, I didn't feel anything.
Thinking about it more, I can't feel Izanami either.
Usually, when standing in front of a Kami, or deity, they have a presence that tells you who they are.
I looked upon Izanami and knew right away who she was.
Yet, I couldn't feel that presence from her at all.
It's like standing in front of a corpse.
I'm pretty sure that's why I ran into her at all, my instincts and senses registered her more like a tree or rock them a Goddess.
In any event, when the darkness falls, splashing to the ground like water, we are elsewhere.
A throne room, with a long shadowed hall.
And down at the end of it, a man sat on the throne.
Unlike Izanami, he had a presence, and unlike Inari, he wasn't so subtle or sneaky with it.
He wore it like an aura. A chaotic, crackling energy filled and stifled the bland dull air.
His eyes were glowing, burning with the third color I've seen in this realm, a fiery orange, and he looked almost exactly how I expected him to look.
Bits of armor on his shoulders and forearms, a blue robe opened to show his ripped muscled chest, the straw hat over messy assorted strands of long black hair that somehow moved in the…
Wait there isn't a draft in here.
I look back up at Izanami, who looks back down at me, both of us wearing the same bland expression as we turn toward the God of Storms.
His hand twitched a bit before he sighed, and his hair fell upon his shoulders normally, "Too much?"
"Very." Me and Izanami replied together.
"Ugghh…" he groaned out, before slowly rising from his seat, "forget all of that, welcome, Nephew, to Yomi." He walks down toward us, his boots heavy and thundering with damn near every step until he stands before us, towering over us both.
"What do you want." He doesn't so much as ask but grumbles out.
Huh. Someone sounds displeased to see me.
Then again, knowing his history with my mother, I'm not entirely surprised.
"Tobio Ikuse, the Leader of Team Slash/Dog." I start, watching his face carefully, though it doesn't change, "Did you or your Reapers take him?"
He snorts at that, "Firstly, don't call my Shinigami 'Reapers' boy," he ground out, "they aren't related to the bonehead's goons. Second, no. I didn't take him. We made a deal. Why? Wanna see him?"
I raise an eyebrow slowly, "Just like that?"
"Just like that," The Storm God huffs, "not like I'm keeping him prisoner or anything. He's here in fact, in this Palace."
That's mighty convenient, isn't it?
And very suspicious. It doesn't sound like anything is wrong, but…
A deal, huh?
"Alright, I suppose I'll go see him then." I shrug, "I'll go check up on him, see what's up, then I suppose I can stay around…pretty much promised Grandma I'd stick around to catch up with her."
Susanoo blinked down at me for that, his gaze softened considerably, "Really? Hmm…I, see." He waves towards a hall, "Down that hall, the very last door. Now, can you please get out of Mother's…chest."
I blinked.
Oh yeah. Izanami hasn't let me go yet.
Said Goddess giggles lightly, "Is something the matter, Susa? I put him here after all!"
"Mother…" The God ground out, yet not angrily or annoyed, but legitimately embarrassed.
"Always so easy, aren't you?" Izanami mused, before suddenly snapping out with a hand, and grabbing his ear so fast neither of us saw it.
One moment, she's giggling and smothering me in a couple of nice cold pillows, the next she's pulling the God of Storms and Seas by the ear, a frown flowing down her face.
Said God hissed in pain and no slight amount of actual terror as she pulled him by the ear down to eye level.
"Now, your goons, Susanoo? She began, voice prickly, "Do we need to talk about proper management again?"
"N-No, Mother! Why!? What happened?" He was quick to deny futility.
Though judging by the mirthless smile on her face, and the cold shiver that goes down his spine at it, I figure that's the wrong thing to say entirely.
I, seeing this opportunity for what it is, quickly scamper away in the directions given by the God earlier.
Even as I go, I shiver a little bit, hearing the Storm God's pained dejections of what Izanami says further, albeit, I don't exactly hear what she's getting on his case for.
My guess would be the Shinigami incidents with her Oni.
Poor guy.
Not.
~ A New Sun ~
I sort of expected the Palace of a deity to be more extravagant, despite it being Yomi.
Yet, walking down the dull gray stone halls, those expectations were long gone.
I also expected a fight to break out as soon as I got here, or for Uncle to be much more…aggressive.
Then again, Izanami being there probably helped out a ton.
I seriously doubt me calling him out on his using his godly powers to make his hair blow around alone would have gone well for me.
I'd still do it though. Probably would have sassed the hell out of him too.
It was very tempting to turn around and start doing stuff with Izanami to fuck with him, not going to lie to myself there.
Getting a rise out of people I really shouldn't is my default mode of operation, it seems.
In any event, this hall is very long.
Near the end of it, right around the final door, in fact, something is adorning the walls finally.
Two pictures, portraits.
One man, one…girl?
I don't recognize them, and yet, they feel familiar regardless.
Neither has color, as is standard for this realm, but I can tell what might be their coloration based on the shading.
The man has darker-colored eyes, and white or gray long hair, pulled up in a ponytail behind him.
He's looking toward the portrait's observer with a side eye and a soft frown.
He's kneeling before a fire, making tea it looks like, in the middle of a starless moonless night.
The girl, meanwhile, is the inverse, with dark-colored hair and brighter eyes.
She's hugging a sword sheath with a blade I don't recognize at all, with a big smile on her face, it looks like she's laughing, or maybe in the middle of saying something?
The sky in her picture is probably the brightest color I've seen since coming here, almost white, but not quite.
I stare at the portraits for a few seconds, taking in that information, then shake my head with an amused chuckle.
So Uncle does care, at least enough to have their pictures up, huh?
Enough distractions, time to face the music.
Well, Fallen Dog God, I guess.
I approach and knock on the door.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" I call out, "Ikuse? Are you in there?"
No response.
I knock once more, wait a few seconds, and sigh as nothing continues to happen.
Ah well. I've got a bad feeling about this.
I try the door handle, fortunately, it isn't locked, so I open it, and let myself in.
Just as I'm about to apologize for entering, I stop dead in my tracks and simply stare.
This room is incredibly small, a single bedroom sized at most, holding only a bed and a table.
The thing is, there are two people in it.
One, a young man, only a couple or so years older than me.
Then two, an older woman lying in the bed, who I can tell is a soul, a spirit.
Yet, unlike the shades plaguing this realm, this older woman feels thousands of times more alive than any of them.
She's glowing with a soft warm light, her hair and old lady clothes have color, actual, real color.
In contrast, the man is, while I can tell alive, he's not doing so hot.
His skin is unnaturally pale, he looks a little gaunt, and he's clutching the old woman's hand as he lays halfway splayed across the bed.
His lower half, his knees, are on the floor, while his torso and head are on the bed, sideways.
Both seem asleep.
Steadily now, I walk over to the man and look him over.
Even with a Longinus, he still ended up like this because of this place. How long has he even been here?
I kind of hate the idea of waking him up like this, he looks like he needs sleep, but he also needs something to eat and drink, and I need to know what's going on from his point of view.
With that in mind, I tentatively put a hand on his shoulder and shook him.
Then when that didn't work, I shook him harder until he finally stirred, groaning and groggily lifting his head.
With half-lidded eyes, he looked at me, and as he recognized that he didn't recognize me, they widened.
"You…" He stood up, and immediately moved to get in front of the old woman, blocking her from me with his body, "who are you…?" He asked, voice coarse and dry.
I held my hands up placatingly, even took a step or two back, "My name, is Noriaki Kusanagi, Mr. Ikuse. I was sent by one of your friends, Suzaku Himejima, to find you."
He blinks at that, then relaxes, his body slacking as he grimaces.
"Ah," he sits down on the bed, slowly, and sighs, "I should have figured they'd send someone eventually…if not come themselves. Or try too, anyhow."
I chuckle at that, "They almost did, to be fair. Think they are still trying to find a way even after learning their gears won't protect them."
He gives a small, soft, smile down at the floor, "Sounds about right," he says wistfully, before looking at me, "I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, Lord Kusanagi, without any color around it's kind of hard to tell…" he trails off, quietly.
I merely waved him off, "Don't worry about it, we've got more important things to worry about. Like, no offense, but you look awful."
He waves me off lightly in turn, "None taken, I'm aware, feel it too. Hell, I haven't been able to sleep since I got here…next to her…" He turns, giving a side-eye glance to the old unwaking woman.
"Well, lucky for you, I brought stuff!" I pull the bag off my shoulder and toss it to him. "Drinks, snacks…not healthy, probably, but better than nothing! Especially since I didn't know how long you were down here. Do you?"
"Ah, well…" He opens the bag up, before scratching his cheek a bit, "not really, no? Sorry."
I shake my head, "Don't worry about it, we'll figure it out. Talk and eat, pace yourself, tell me everything, how you got here, and whatever this…deal is, you made."
So he did.
He tells me of the night he worked at the bar when a Shinigami approached him.
Of the deal the Shinigami told him of, of him being pulled into Yomi and wondering for so long, of the storm that led him here, and the deal the Storm God finally offered.
Judging from Earth time, Tobio could have ended up spending anywhere between a few days to a week or longer here, wondering, before he found this place.
Or more accurately was led here.
As for the deal?
"It was…the Ame no Ohabari, for my grandmother's soul…" Tobio slowly divulged after I glared at him for Heaven knows how long.
Fucking. Called it.
"You know that'll kill you, right?" I ask the obvious, to which he merely shrugged and sipped at a bottled tea.
"I know…I'm fine with that." He sighed, seeing my completely deadpan stare at him.
"Ah, yes, I'm sure the death realm filled with beings that cause people to want to die has nothing to do with that?" I muse, sarcastically.
"It isn't like that, Lord Kusanagi." He denies, vehemently, "What other choice Is there? He already proved he can get her soul when he wants, I can't just say no."
"Uh, yeah, you could." I held up a finger, "You could say no, then kick his ass, make him see what happens when he messes with you and yours, if he even threatens it, even in this state you could it. It'd just be more difficult."
"And risk him even getting the chance to hurt her? No. Not happening." He denies it again, with a shake of his head.
"Look," I start again with a very deep, very annoyed sigh, "I can heal you, maybe, it wouldn't fix you up to 100% probably, but it would help a ton. Make all this a lot easier."
Tobio turned his head, looking away from me, "I'm…sorry…it wouldn't matter…"
My eyebrow twitched.
Would smacking him over the head really hard fix this? He sounds…depressed. Like he gave up hope for some reason.
Which is odd, because he's doing this all for his grandmother. Or at least he thinks he is, if it isn't just realm fuckery.
So how about this?
"Would your grandmother want you to do this, though?" He froze up as I suddenly continued, "What about your friends? Team Slash/Dog? I heard you had a girl waiting for you…or several. They're waiting for you, you kno–"
"Stop." He suddenly intoned, coldly, "Just…stop."
"But–"
"No." He cuts me off, adamantly, "Listen, I appreciate you coming here for me, for them, but…" he trails off with a deep exhale from his nose.
I click my tongue at that.
Shit.
That usually works, doesn't it? Or it's supposed to!
Well, granted, appealing to emotions like that only really works when the one trying has a connection to the other person.
But we don't know each other. We just met, and he's not all…here, mentally.
Well, guess there's only one thing left to do.
I stand up, suddenly, prompting Tobio to perk up.
"Well, if you're going to be like that," I intone, "I'll do it."
"...What." Tobio uttered, confused, "What do you mean by that?"
"I'll head down and beat my uncle like a redheaded stepchild, that's what I mean." I huff out, "Real simple, yeah?"
I probably won't win, but I can try, at least.
"What…No, you can't…!" I turn and start walking, waving him off as he stands up.
"Don't worry about it, I'll be fine–"
I stop, raising my head slightly, as a pitch-black blade forms right in front of my throat.
"No…" he continues, "if you do that, he could try and hurt her anyway…I…won't let that…" his voice strains dangerously, "happen."
Oh?
Well. Perhaps I'll get a chance to knock him right on the noggin after all…