Huh. You know, I didn't want to assume anything, because that would feel rather…
Hmm. How do I say this without getting canceled on Twitter?
Or whatever non-social media platform is the thing in this world.
Eh, fuck it!
Oni in their human forms? They look like a bunch of typical Japanese gang members, yakuza, and the like.
Leather. So much fucking leather. All of it is black and has assorted red, gold, and blue Oni designs plastered across the back.
As if they weren't making it obvious enough, of course.
Their hair looked like it was torn straight out of the last decade, all styled up and over the front of their heads.
My bet? It's likely to hide their horns.
Now I don't have much evidence to go off that says their human transformation is incomplete, that too is also an assumption.
One that is based on the fact that it would take way more than five of these guys to challenge me, more so kill me.
So essentially, I'm calling them stereotypical and dumb.
Wait. Isn't that last bit also part of the stereotype?
I raise my hand to catch a studded club, an Oni kanabō, just before it smashes into my face.
The sheer force behind the thing blows apart the little booth around the bus stop bench I was sitting in, exposing me to the late morning sunlight.
I sigh.
"The shade was nice, now look at what you've done." I wave idly to the destruction around us with my free hand, my other still holding the club.
"Ya thinkin' we gon give any sort of flying fuck what ya think little bitch!? Geddup! Now!" The human-disguised Oni spits out.
Hmm. This guy is the one with a gold Oni design on his jacket, the rest have red, blue, green, and pink respectively.
He also sounds significantly more composed than the rest.
"Ya, ya! Yawl tell thuh coward!" Red cried out, almost in reverence.
"Thets whut hay gits fahwar ignorin' us!" Green screeched almost immediately after.
"Hit em' lahk dat, wun more tahm!" Blue hooted and hollered, almost like he was trying to egg on Gold.
"Oh, oh! Let may at em' next!" Pinkie jumps up and down, all excited, as if this was a game.
Ugh. They even all sound the stereotype.
Also, I amended my earlier statement, these guys are all very dumb.
These fools have been at this for the past fifteen minutes, they walked up to me and instantly started talking shit.
That was the first attack they've tried to whole time.
I could've killed them all, easily, but that wasn't what I was out here for.
Though in that respect, they're very lucky I suppose. Their shit-talking and general appearance were very good at clearing the area of civilians.
If they had attacked right away, I would've reacted appropriately.
As it stands though, instead they helped my little kitty and bird set the place up, just for them.
Wonderful. I'll have to thank them later.
First though, a confirmation.
I looked up at Gold blankly, ignoring everything he just said as he tried to pull his club from my grasp to no avail.
"So," I start evenly, "since you're here instead of your Lord, I assume he didn't like my challenge?"
At that, all the Oni looked various amounts offended and seething with rage.
None more so than Gold, it would appear.
"Like? Like!?" He gave a bestial snarl as his teeth suddenly sharpened, his canines elongating, and his leathers began tearing at the seams as his height and muscle mass grew.
Seconds of this passed until the yellow Oni stood before me in his true Yokai form, several meters tall with a bald head, save for a single yellow horn.
The only thing covering his ogre-like appearance is a single oversized black leather loin cloth.
"Lord Ibaraki laughed at your request!" He continued, although he sounded more threatening without the accent, the poor guy still couldn't pull his club away from me, "For you, the five of us should be more than enough! The Night Parade? Bah! Who needs it for one lone weakling like you!"
Various rounds of cheers and hollering resound behind him at that proclamation.
When they started talking again, I immediately toned them out.
See, they may not be able to deal physical damage to me, but mentally?
That's a whole other story.
One can only take the Japanese version of a Southern or Texan accent for so long, turns out.
As stated, I sent a request off to the big bad Fierce God himself for a fight.
And this is the guy's response, pretty much in line with what Kunou thought it was going to be.
A mid-class and a bunch of lows. An insult.
Though I'm pretty sure he knows I'm stronger than these guys, he sent these guys practically saying, 'This is what I see you as.'
Dick move, sending off your people to die for an insult, but for the Oni, it's a cultural thing. Apparently.
Been learning a lot about these guys lately, huh?
My second hand comes up, blocking a yellow fist from impacting my face.
"Stop! Ignoring us!" Gold roared in a frothing rage.
"Okay."
"Yo- Huh?"
The idiot seemed dumbfounded for a moment.
Until I breathed a fireball out onto him, and the four stooges behind him, then he screamed in pain and anguish as he and the other Oni were blasted out and sent sprawling into the road.
It was a simple fireball too, didn't even put much effort or power into it.
With a sigh, I stood up and walked over to check on my freshly roasted boars.
All five lay around, groaning and spitting various insults.
All five were now in their true Yokai forms as well, yet despite that, they all seemed a little more tanned compared to the usual vivid colors Oni had.
Wonder how that happened?
"Hmm, I've decided!" I announce aloud, "I don't much care for roasted pork!"
Gold snarled, trying weakly to reach for his club.
Which I casually kicked further away from him.
"How about you, Kuroka-chan? Suzaku-san?" I call out.
I had to stifle the urge to laugh, as though they obviously didn't know who Kuroka was, the moment I mentioned the big tiddy birb they froze as their expressions morphed into one of fear and abject horror.
Appropriate, but also misplaced.
From atop a nearby tree, a lone black cat morphed into the curvaceous woman I know very well, as she lay on her side and wrinkled her nose down at us all.
"Nya~? Roasted? Smells more like burnt to me, Nori-kun~!" She gives a fake cough as she clenches her nose and sticks her tongue out in faux disgust.
"I'd have to concur there…" Suzaku walks out from behind a nearby building, a dainty hand over her face as she gives a half-lidded stare down at the Oni, "such disgusting creatures, especially like this."
At her gaze, the poor Oni seemed to almost whimper and try desperately to move to crawl away.
Ah. There's that bit of Akeno inside of her. Though without the whole sadomasochistic shtick.
Suzaku turned to me and gave a weary sigh, holding up her phone to give it a little shake, "This should be sufficient to convince the rest of the Clans of the Oni's intent for you."
I nod and hum happily, "Thanks for showing up personally, you know you could have just sent someone, right?"
Suzaku just shakes her head, "I wanted to see it with my own eyes…I had my suspicions, but to think the Oni would…" she blinks, then sighs, "No, they would do something this stupidly drastic, I apologize." Her gaze shifted to behind me, "Also…" she trailed off, as Kuroka stalked down the tree and towards us.
Turning, I see Kuroka focusing intently on Suzaku, her eyes slit, as she approaches.
"Ah." I exclaimed, dully, "Cat."
I look at Suzaku.
"Bird."
Damnit Kuroka.
At least Suzaku seemed mildly amused as she giggled lightly at my realization.
"Also," she continued where she left off, waving to Kuroka, "not many in the Clan would be so receptive to Yokai quite yet. Especially one that's Reincarnated Devil. Nor a stray, and Underworld criminal."
Ah, is that a hint of disapproval there, big bird?
I give her my best customer service smile, "Oh well. They'll have to learn, I suppose."
Translation.
I don't give a fuck what you think about this.
I'm not even too sure why she'd specifically care about this, to be honest.
Suzaku mirrored my smile back to me as Kuroka finally came up to my side.
"So then, Suza-chan~!" She purred out with a mischievous gaze, "Where are we gonna store the bodies, nya~?"
Suzaku's smile twitched a bit at Kuroka's complete sledgehammering of basic Japanese edict.
When I called up the Himejima, or Suzaku specifically to tell her what was going on and see if she could help with all this, I told her about Kuroka, who she was to me, and that she would be doing some stuff.
The two's first meeting went fine, but I've got an increasing gut feeling that leaving these two alone for an extended period would lead to some interesting results.
Probably nothing instantly violent, I don't recall Suzaku having anything against Yokai or Devils as a whole, beyond the standard loathing most share with the Underworld for the Evil Pieces.
I know Suzaku also didn't like the Grigori much, but not much else beyond that.
Suzaku turned to Kuroka, and hummed, "We have several old storage facilities we used to use for our tea houses, that should be sufficient, yes?"
Kuroka smiled widely, "That would be perfect! Thank you, Suza-chan, nya~!" She leans over to me, and kisses my cheek, "I'm gonna gather up the test subjects, then we'll be off, alright darling~? I can't wait to see what I'll learn, nya~!"
Kuroka. Why do you seem oddly enthusiastic about human experimentation?
Uh. Yokai experimentation?
Good enough.
Also, did you just wink at Suzaku there when you kissed me?
I pat Kuroka on the head, prompting a light purr from her, "Okay? Uh, have fun? I think?"
Kuroka perked up, "I will, nya~!" And with that, she skipped away and started dragging the downed Oni around.
Suzaku gave Kuroka a bland look as she did so.
"Hmm…so, since Kuroka is calling you Suza-chan…" I let the unspoken question hang with a small amused smile.
Suzaku turned to me slightly, her smile becoming a smile, "What was that, Lord Noriaki?"
Pretty sure she's trying to set me on fire via sight alone.
Pretty sure she can actually do that, too.
Lucky for me? I'm immune to fire!
I eye to eye smile right back at her, "Nothing at all, Suza-chan."
Her eye full-on twitched to that.
I think I may have an issue when it comes to teasing people.
Specifically when it comes to teasing girls.
Kuroka is enabling me, promise.
We let our impromptu 'smile off' hang for what feels like several long moments, and just as Suza goes to say something, Kuroka pipes up to the side.
"Done~!"
We turn to see that Kuroka has stacked the Oni in a haphazard pile of bodies. All groaning or trying to wiggle their way free or lose.
Turns out, being several meters in height, or a few feet taller than your average human, with far more muscle and mass to go along with doesn't make the trusty old body pile any more comfortable.
At least she realized that, and put Gold on the bottom of all that. He can handle it!
I think. He's looking a lot more blue and purple than gold right now.
With a sigh, Suza turns back to me, "I suppose I and the Nekoshou should be going then."
I chuckle and nod to her, "Probably. Before she gets too excited and starts doing stuff to them in the middle of the street." My smile morphs into something more sincere, "Thanks again, by the way, for showing up and helping on such short notice. I said it before, but I mean it. If you need something, anything, just call."
Suza hums at that, giving me a thoughtful look, then a pretty smile as she nods, "I think I'll take you up on that sometime, Lord Noriaki."
With that, she walks off to Kuroka.
Well. That's not ominous.
Still completely worth it though, no matter what the price may be.
I simply don't have the room or means, either here at my place in Kyoto, or in Kuoh, to strap down and hold a few Oni for whatever the fuck Kuroka has to do to make Youjutsu that fucks up Oni specifically.
Time is of the essence right now, we still don't have an exact date for the Night Parade, although we should once Kunou gets back.
Anything that makes the process by which Kuroka can make her Oni poison Youjutsu thing faster, is worth it to invest in.
A flash of light draws me from my thoughts, as it envelops and takes away the poor Oni, Suza, and Kuroka.
Moments after, the barrier the latter two set up cracks, and shatters.
The booth that was destroyed earlier was suddenly 'repaired', or more accurately the booth in the barrier was the one that was destroyed, not the one in real life.
Quickly, I move off the road as people begin to trickle in and start heading back home quickly.
Speaking of the little fox princess, she should be back soon, if not now.
Sent her off back to Urakyoto to secretly deliver my message and check in on her mother, and that was pretty early in the morning.
Time to hustle it back!
~ A New Sun ~
Almost as soon as I got home, I had to swat away a ball of blue fox fire before it struck my face.
"Well," I snort, waving the residual fumes out of the air, "nice to see you got back safe and sound, Princess."
Kunou poked her head slightly out from behind the couch, using said furniture almost like a barricade or shield.
She stared at me intently, before turning up her nose at my comment and huffing haughtily, "As if any of those brutes could detect me with their meager senses."
"Aww!" I slowly stalked over to her, "Someone wants some praise? Maybe some ear rubs?" I ask, grinning widely.
"E-Eh?" She yips out, "Wait a minute! H-Hold it!" Her hands ignited with fox fire, "You come any closer, and I'll throw!"
You know, she's been very trigger-happy when it comes to those flames since this morning.
Even though they don't affect me at all, and Kuroka is simply too strong for them to work their magic on her, she won't hesitate to light either of us up.
Like she did right this early morning.
All we did was pet the fluffy tails and scratch the ears!
Also like what I'm going to do when I get my hands on her.
"Oh really?" I hum out unperturbed as I crawl over the couch, prompting her to scamper back and off the couch, "You know that won't do anything~!"
"If I keep throwing it, maybe it will!" She rebukes, even if she doesn't sound all too hopeful.
I fake a dark chuckle, "Just give in, accept your fate! I will give those ears rubs."
She shivered at my tone, "N-No! Stay away you big jerk!"
Yet still, so defiant?
Very well.
I move.
She blinks as I seemingly fade from her vision, but can't see as I appear behind her.
Although the way her hair suddenly stood on end, I think she may have sensed the danger.
Regardless, it's too late, I snatch her right up.
"E-EHHH!? W-Wait!" She cries out, the flames in her hands sputtering out as I launch us onto the couch, her in my lap.
"Nope. No wait." I deny.
"B-But! You can't ju—Hnnnnghhh~!" She bites her bottom lip, suppressing what I honestly can't tell is a moan or a purr, as I begin giving her ear rubs.
Well. Foxes don't purr, technically, but they do something similar.
"You did a very good job, Kunou, very good…" I praise her, entirely sincerely as well.
Truly, I was originally going to have Kuroka sneak in to deliver my first challenge, and then have her rush to the 'meeting' spot.
But Kunou insisted she could do it, knowing Urakyoto inside and out as she does.
Kunou's ears and tails fluff out slightly as she quivers in my grasp, looking down, I can see her flushing just a tad.
She looks down as she bites down what I know this time is a moan, "Of course I did! W-What do you take me for…" She tries to princess it up, but it's oh so weak.
Hmm. Kunou has a praise kink.
I will remember that. For reasons. Later.
My response is automatic, "A Princess."
"S-shut up!" She whines, squirming in place, although it does a very poor job of hiding the fact that she's only pushing against my hand more.
I chuckle, and just let the moment draw out.
Her ears are very fluffy. Stress relief without copious amounts of coitus is always welcome.
I end up leaning back into the couch just scratching her ears, and she ends up leaning against me while I do that.
After a good long moment of that, and with a deep sigh because I, unfortunately, can't do this all damn day, I suddenly ask softly.
"So, anything interesting that happened while you were out?"
Her ears perk slightly at that.
"Ah, mhmm." She hums softly in response, "Mother found me, of course, she's the only one who could. I told her what you were going to do, and uhm…"
I blink at that, "And…what?"
Her face flushed before she promptly covered it, "She said things I'd rather not repeat out loud," she uttered in slight horror, "especially to you!"
I could almost feel the accusation in her tone.
I, meanwhile, felt this.
"Told you so."
If I recall correctly, this guy has been a massive pain whenever he comes to Urakyoto, right?
How horny would Yasaka be if I killed this guy, I wonder?
The answer? Probably very.
A ball of fox fire splashes against my face.
"Don't…! You start!" Kunou's voice shakes as looks back at me, my smug smirk becoming visible and beaming down at her as the flames clear, showing me in turn her very angry, yet very cute, flushed face.
"Hmph!" With a huff, she looks away, forward once more. "But…yes, she's fine. I managed to get some stuff from my room before leaving as well, not like any of that's for you to know."
So then why even mention it?
"And, ah…" she continued, somewhat solemnly, "the Night Parade, it's tomorrow night. The Onigami has been pushing for it much more fiercely than before, so the time has moved up a bit."
Oh?
"I see," I hum out, considering it, "which means if I plan this out correctly, I'll be fighting a very pissed-off Daiyokai…what, two days from around now?"
"That…" she turns, looking back at me stunned, "you aren't scared? At all? Isn't that too little time!?"
I wave her off with a smile, "No, that's more than enough, truth be told. I was planning on going in tonight if I had to."
Now she's just looking at me lost.
"See," I explain, "I was originally going to send out my clones when I got back, attack Mt. Oe tonight, stuff the head of the strongest Oni there in a box, and send it to the guy!" I pat her on the head as I notice her cringe at the whole, stuffing heads in boxes thing, "But now I can move that all slightly back, and try something with this last day or so remaining before I send out my clones."
"Try…something?" Kunou muttered back at me.
I nod down at her, "Yep! It's what I'm going to use to kill the guy. I haven't had much chance at all to practice it, so we'll see how it goes."
She tilts her head, seemingly still confused.
"We talked about it yesterday." I deadpanned down at her.
Suddenly, it seems to click, as she perks up, "Ah, right! That state whose power is based on the sun's height…weight." Her eyes goggle at me, "You haven't practiced it much!?"
I chuckle wearily at that, "Kuroka said it was uncontrolled, and it is very recent. That's why I haven't been able to without someone strong enough to knock me out in case I go bonkers or something."
I flick her on the nose as she opens her mouth, likely to tell me what I already know.
I smile at her indignant yip, "Don't worry, I'm not going to try and use the stronger version, just want to see if I can get somewhat of a handle on the weaker variations first. That shouldn't be too bad, I think."
"You think." She drawls back at me with a deadpan stare.
"Mhmm!" I nod enthusiastically.
Recalling my fight with Vali, I know I can hold it back somewhat, I was doing it until the bastard punched me in the face.
So, I should be fine.
Not going to say will be fine.
Trying not to get pegged by Murphy here. Not now.
With a groan, I stretch out slightly, before looking toward the window and giving the time a considerate hum.
"Bit too late in the day to try now, though, so!" I pat her on the head, "I'll try later when the sun is going down. You wanna watch?"
She huffed at that, crossing her arms haughtily, "...not like there's much else to do around here."
"If you don't want me to call you Tsun-Tsun Princess from now on you'll just say yes like a normal girl~!" I sang out.
"T-Tsun!? As in tsundere…? Y-You!" She growls at me, "F-Fine, yes, I'll watch…geez."
"Also, for the record," I add on, "there's plenty to do here! Like watching TV, playing video games, training, and…uh…" I scratch the back of my head as I try and think of anything more, "well damn."
Kunou looks back at me, way too smug for her own good.
"Oi. Don't look at me like that," I narrow my eyes right back at her, "what could you possibly do for fun, hmm?"
"Well—"
"That isn't just some offshoot of your Princess duties, whatever those are."
"W-Well…Mother and I—"
"I specified just you. Doing stuff with your mother doesn't count."
She pouts at that. "Now that's just being unfair…" She whines lowly.
I merely chuckle as I stand up with her, "Have you ever even tried playing a video game before?"
She pointedly looks away from me at that, crossing her arms with a huff.
I snort at that, "Alright, Princess. With that response am I also supposed to assume you're not hungry as well?"
Her ears perk slightly at that.
"Breakfast would be…nice." She mutters under her breath.
I set her down on the couch and started walking off to the kitchen, calling out, "What was that~?"
"Hnnnghh! Breakfast would be nice!" She says again, at a much louder volume.
"Oh? What's the magic word?"
She turns and I can feel her deadpan, even if it was a thousand yards away, "You're kidding, right?"
"Hmm…not hearing the magic word. Shame." I give an exaggerated sigh as I make a show of rifling through the kitchen, "We've got all this stuff here that could use making, like, bacon, sausage—"
"F-Fine!" I hear her call out from the other room, almost desperately, followed by the rapid patter of her small feet across the ground as she runs up to the door, and peaks in with a tiny blush on her face, "P-Please…May I have some f-food?"
That was quick.
Also very cute.
Nice to know my assumptions about foxes having a thing for meat held.
I'm just on a roll with the stereotyping today, huh?
"Good girl, see? You can do it!" I coo at her, "I'll get right on it, okay?"
"M-Mmm…" the praise kink Princess shivers at being called a good girl, of course, before blinking as she realizes what I just said, "Wait, you can cook?"
I blink right back as I turn and set the stovetop, "Yes? Why do you sound so surprised?"
"It's just," she starts, unsure, "you have a maid, right? Who is…?" She looks around with an eyebrow raised, "Wasn't she here when I left?"
Ah. Right, right. I see what she's getting at.
"Didn't always have a maid," I state nonchalantly, "and remember how I told you I was technically a Prince? I sure as hell didn't grow up like one."
"Oh." She replied dumbly, looking down almost as if ashamed, for some reason.
I wave it off, "Hey now, don't worry about it. As for where my maid is right now? Well. I sent her off to talk with someone after you left."
Kunou looked away bashfully as I finished, at which I had the extreme urge to throw a mini sausage at her, for some reason.
Didn't quite think it'd take this long though for Uzume to do her thing, but it makes sense I suppose.
When the person you're trying to get a hold of to talk to is likely one of the busiest in all of Japan, it would take more than a hot minute, wouldn't it?
~ A New Sun ~
Uzume never liked the Earthly Shinkai all that much.
Compared to the splendor of the Heavenly Shinkai, the Earthly was also just so…not necessarily bland, but just not as bright, she supposed.
The Heavenly Shinkai, Takamagahara, the High Plane of Heaven, is one supermassive traditional Japanese megacity that stretches on and on, forever into the distance.
It's awash with golds, reds, silvers, and blacks, always bustling with the Heavenly Kami going about their business.
Meanwhile, the Earthly Shinkai by comparison was much more mute, as it were, in activity.
It made up for that with so much more color.
As she stood before the Inari Shrine, looking out at the world, seeing the white wispy winds whip through the bamboo forests as the golden skies of Heaven thrum above her is always quite the sight.
From here, if she squinted, she could even see the broken tip of the Ame-no-ukihashi, the Floating Bridge of Heaven, that connected the Earthly and Heavenly Worlds, once upon a time.
Now? It's nothing more than a spec of milk and sparkles in the grand golden sky.
It's been a while since she has last been there.
She doesn't plan on going back anytime soon.
"Uzume."
"EEP!" Uzume jumped, and spun around on her heels at the simple call, only to behold the exact person she'd been waiting for.
Inari, in her shrine uniform, and she could tell it was the real Inari…not because she was glowing or anything like that, no.
It was because of the severe bags under her eyes, and the general droop she had as she stood there.
It's as though she was tired just standing there.
"What?" The pink-haired Kami gave a small tired smile, "Did I catch you reminiscing, Uzu?"
Uzume merely blinked at her.
Oh yeah, she's very out of it. She's usually not this mellow. Or nice!
To her anyway.
"Did I…call you at a bad time, Inari?" Uzume asked worriedly.
Inari waved her off, "No, in fact, I was looking for an excuse to take a little break~..." she walked over to Uzume's side, and slumped against her, using the purple-haired Kami like a cushion, "Ah. That's nice…"
"How long have you been…working?" Honestly, Uzume was scared to find out, but she'd never seen Inari quite like this before.
"Hmm…" she hums lightly, "how long has it been since I last saw you and Noriaki? That long. However long that is."
"Inari…!" Uzume half chastised, half whined.
"Oh don't start Uzu…this isn't my longest continuous time on the clock. But it certainly is my," sudden yawn, "ugh…most important, you know?"
Uzume twitched at that.
"I know…but ah, things are about to get a tad more…hectic." She started uneasily, not unsure of what she was speaking of, but not entirely sure where she should take this.
See, Noriaki sent her here to, one, tell her what's going on, and two, get her in on his plan in some way.
"Oh~?" Inari mused, "In what way, Uzu?"
There's also a big part of her that also wants to ask Inari for help.
But seeing her like this?
She sighs, "Everyway. Nori is doing some…stuff. If it all works out, things could start changing across supernatural Japan. And, well, he heard about how overworked you are—"
"Not overworked," Inari huffed in haughty, tired, denial, "just…I have a lot on my plate right now okay?"
Uzume rolled her eyes and continued anyway, "So he heard about how much you have on your plate," she parroted back at her, "and he thinks that if you could get in on this, it might lighten your load."
Uzume squeaked as a pair of hands, Inari's hands, suddenly grasped and held her tightly.
She didn't even see Inari turn to face her, to look her in the eye very intently.
"Tell. Me. Everything." Inari commanded, eyes shaking with the intensity of her focus.
She may be in just a little danger now, isn't she?