In the depth of silence, in the depth of sorrow, always, a hand pulls me back, does not allow me to die..
I thought I was risking everything on this journey in order to find myself, but I discovered that I was finding those people whom I had lived my whole life knowing, and I was reacquainting myself with them, and resetting my priorities again, and that made me wonder, if I loved myself more than them, would it be fair for me to leave them Behind me? Or might they want me to hold on to them despite anything? Those whom I love more than myself, will they want to choose me despite everything? And will I have to lose and leave and give up everything? I wish I lived in the world more than I live in my mind... i wish i can believe, that there's hope, that i won't give it all up... but no.. reality speaks higher than me. I still wanna know more, love more, please... please... don't take my soul yet...
(Meeting hall)
Xiao Yan went to sit down, just like that I thought that this turmoil in my mind and outside might end, but I forgot… Lu Yue Xin spoke, "Your Majesty, I would like to talk about something important."
Just like that, he intends to throw a bomb in public, so that I won't refuse, so that he can force me. I forgot... that this was a lion's cage, lions who don't look like anything except dogs.
I went to sit down and motioned for him to speak, more precisely, please stop talking and end this shit...
He stood up and spoke, "I asked for the celebration to be held again, but the Queen mentioned that it was a matter that might be sensitive to many people, so I would have to get approval from many people. I thought this was to make things difficult for me, but it seems that I now understand the Queen's good intentions, after all." Now, I have gathered everything, I hope the Queen will keep her word..." he said in his calm, indifferent voice, full of charisma and power.
I looked at him, trying not to spit out the insults from my mouth, "Hand over the papers, then."
A servant came forward carrying the paper. I looked at him carefully. I don't know how to convince them. These despicable clans are very changeable. In fact, this meeting is a center of corruption. It led to a previous rebellion. "So who will be responsible for this celebration? The Lu family? Tell us so we know who will be responsible for any mistake..." i was silent for a moment, then i continued with a malicious look, "You know... some unpleasant things may happen... and we will need someone's neck to reduce the price."
Lu Yu Xi raised her hands to show that she wanted to speak, "I'm sorry, but I didn't agree to any of these papers, so I have nothing to do with it."
At least you're not supporting this filth. Point in your favor! "Okay, I'll count you out."
Lu Yu Xin looked between us annoyedly and then laughed, "Everything will fall on me, the organization. And my neck as well." The officials kept whispering among themselves, "What's wrong with him?" "Why is he so determined? Surely the queen will be wary and suspicious."
In fact, a tragedy occurred because of this celebration, which was supposed to form a rapprochement between us and the neighboring kingdom, the islands, and the clans. The celebration often continues in the royal palace and also the capital for about 15 days. Then the distinct cities that were 8 became 7, and that was because of a rebellion plot, between the kingdom of The East, a very small kingdom located on an island that became more settled than us a few centuries ago, owns several islands and except for their war power, they do not have any traditions or social importance, so they cannot be compared to our kingdom, and the Shadow Clan, who are also descendants of demons, but a different kind of power from them. Red and purple, this kingdom was fortunate that the Demon Clan that desired and possessed a deep desire for rebellion did not love, but rather despised, the Shadow Clan, so when corruption occurred, they did not bring together those terrible forces.
After the last celebration, it seemed that the leader of the Shadow Clan and the king of the other kingdom had gotten closer. Not long after the party ended, the Shadow Clan made a very big move in the capital and the cities it was able to enter. Devastation ensued, but because we were prepared, our people were able to fight. We no longer have... Trust even in the country and the people of the country. They created a cautious part within them that was always ready for any danger. Then, "An Yu Lin", my aunt and A Yin's mother, fought in the war for some reason, and she died. You must be wondering what happened to the Kingdom of the East? Simply betray the Shadow Clan, and enjoy the corruption that occurs. The Shadow Clan is an extension of the madness of the Demon Clan. If you take a look at the demons I met, they are nice characters with special souls, but when the blood spreads, see them shedding the bodies of others, merciless monsters, twisted minds, Merciless, I can describe myself with them now, I understand... what it means to be a devil.
Becoming a demon means that your loved ones will die, but you will not show your sadness for more than a month. You will be sad inside, but you will smile. Then you will go to the city that caused the death of your loved ones, cut their necks, rip out their hearts, and hang their bodies on the walls of the city, annihilating everyone, even your feelings. A demon, means to be the only villain, to kill everyone for your love, and in the end your love kills you, or you kill yourself for your love, who will go and live his life with a fairy.
I looked at A Yin, how does she feel? That girl who seems uninterested in cruel things, that girl who seems ordinary and weak, is the first one to become a devil here, even before those who are devils without trying, and I am sure, her secret will be very interesting.
I looked at those cunning people sitting below, and thought.. that i was always and idiot, when i should've been just stupid...
Just sitting here demonstrates that truth, that I know everything, except the taste of the pain that will happen to me, I know that hope will paralyze me, and kill me, but even if I were a devil, I will cry over the death of my loved ones, I will want revenge, I will want to love, to be friends, and to be comforted, And to really laugh from my heart. I'm so idiotic that even I can't stand it.
I smiled at Yu Xin, "Okay then, set the date, anyway I can't escape, right? My death will be your death, my death will be in dreams but yours will be reality."
The others kept whispering as usual, for those were not very nice things to be said by a queen... I got down and walked until I passed him, looking at him as I passed, while thinking, "One day, one day I will surely have a date with each one of you, I will expose you to your secrets and have fun With it, I will really and seriously clean this place, not leaving a single insect, and then... I will leave, As my destiny."
I met some suspicious people, so I already guessed that the Shadow Clan had come. It wasn't enough for them to live like the dead, but they wanted revenge. I can't believe this... It's ridiculous. My aunt died trying to save those children. I think I would have done the same, but I found out, though... I think that killing an entire family because one of them was executed is a cruel matter, since if they survived, they would not think that he was guilty, they would not thank God that he saved them, but rather they would rebel, they would say, "You stole my family, you stole my father, and you stole my mother." Then corruption will never end, it may We kill a pure person who would never think like that, but look at our situation? Look at those demons who came behind us, even a member of the royal family seemed to be cooperating with them.
I see, where they will go, pleasure and excitement overwhelm my body just thinking about it. A suspicious emotion sweeps through me. I might not have noticed it if I were not a demon. A suspicious emotion says, "There is happiness and there is hidden pleasure." But when I finally discover the meaning of those feelings, I will not feel them anyway, and I will not be surprised or impressed.
In less than a week, that day will come, which will definitely change me. Whenever I think I have reached my limit, that I have become perfect, my soul and I are destroyed, and we return as someone I know nothing about.
I went to my residence, and I was walking around, until I noticed the shadow of the boy whom I took after K's death. I noticed that he was curling up on himself in any dark corner. This is the first time I have seen him outside, sitting on the ground in the grass. I looked from behind a tree, watching him, since I brought him. Here, he wasn't talking. I don't even know his name. I feel sorry for him, but I know that he definitely misses her. His looks when she disappeared... as if he intended to hide behind her. I can't open his heart to me, and I don't dare want to. Some people, I know that it is better to protect their feelings, too... I am not sure if anyone remembers her, so if he remembers her, even if it is selfish on my part, or a burden on him, Because even though he is young, he does not even have a family or a home. No one will care about him or his feelings. He is only responsible for his destiny and his life. Even if he is young, he still has to bet on his life and his dreams...
attaching oneself to the memory of an unhappy or happy moments, even for a moment, may not be an option at all. and I know. And I ignore it. That maybe he knows it hurts, but he still, can't choose but to stick to this lonely moments, if i got close to him, i only will end up to leave him all alone like k did.. I'm not the one to promise him that I'd live forever, a century? two? will that's.. impossible.
I thought that if I gave up my hope for tomorrow, I would be brave and unafraid, but my attachment and desire only increase with time...
While Shushin was immersed in her thoughts, the boy was watching her.
He saw her trying, even though she didn't come close, even though she was hiding behind the trees, even though she didn't really try, but he saw her feelings and her sincerity, he saw her loneliness and despair, he also saw her leave a thousand times, and he only saw her back that was turning away and away from home...
He felt sad, because he knew the reason for her moving away. She knew: it was his pain and his longing. K..
To that little boy who didn't know the meaning of home, she was the long lost home he found, she was heaven she was peace, she was everything. He's mom, he's one and only home.
And one could think to him self: she certainly a Devil. Hell. Madness.. How could hell turn into Heaven? Maybe they will think he's only a child after all.
Even though the place he came from was a harsh place, lonely and dark, he knew K wasn't bad, and he knew shu wasn't very different from K, because for a long time, he used to look at K, who eyes was tired, he saw her eating and taking people life, then crying for them, she wanted freedom no one give her but shu, as for shu, she also has the eye of someone needing and praying for freedom, so he sit in the corner and think, how will she gian freedom? Will she fade into the air?? Or take her own life? Or will her friends, enemies, family, do it for her?
He never figured the answer at all, but he knew, she was everything, but also everything but peace.
For a young child to realize this, he did not know that he was more like them than he expected. The three of them, afraid of not being accepted, think too much, so they end up in the corners of the room. They are the only ones whose names no one knows. They are the only ones who seem like the weirdos at the party. If the place was filled with special people, they would be just additional characters. Their true destiny was to sacrifice themselves for others, and to die at the hands of others. The same ending...it's always been this way.
That is a story that will seem superficial, a story that you know has a sad ending, so you expect how ridiculous it is, but you do not know that every happy moment in that story is a reflection of a tragic scene that puts everyone's lives at stake.