Aisha's POV
"Are you freaking crazy!?" Vaniya shrieks at me while I gawk at the floor of her apartment and choose to stay silent to her insulting tone. "What were you thinking? Killing yourself to fix everything?!"
Tears ran down my cheeks as the realization hit me that I actually had been a part of a scam.
Before the video went viral there was still some hope that David was going to come back with an explanation and apologize for everything but now it was obvious as the daylight after he secretly filmed us together that night without my consent.
"Listen to me. Dying is not the solution, instead, you're going to be the headlines of the next morning's newspaper, and the people who didn't even know you will come to know what happened to you." She held my face between her hands as she talked some sense into me.
"And it will hardly punish David since he's not even visible in the video." I winced at the sound of that man's name. He has given me a trauma for life and I don't know when I'd be able to face myself in the mirror again.
I never questioned him, never doubted him and I was to be blamed for it. How'd I answer myself without bashing the mirror? I was disgusted with myself.
I thought being with David would solve all my problems. My love life will become better, my financial status will improve and people will acknowledge me for who I am more than ever.
I was fooled by David's status, his connections, his luxury, and now I had fallen so bad that I didn't even want to get up from the ground. My perilous dream was now over.
"You were making that mistake over again by surrendering to the stranger on the sidewalk. " Vaniya's voice retrieves me out of my train of thought. "Hadn't I arrived on time, Allah knows what would have happened to you."
Allah?
That rings a bell.
I weakly and miserably looked up for the first time after my arrival. "Vaniya?" I squeak and she listens to me intently. "Do you have a prayer mat at home?"
She was a Muslim, I knew it by her name but didn't seem like a practicing one since her attire was nothing like that of a Muslim. But still, I hope she had a Qur'an or prayer mat at home since she mentioned the word 'Allah' in front of me.
She blinked her eyes as if I was suddenly hit by the lightning to utter some nonsense. "Yeah… I might have it somewhere. My mother used to pray." She scratches the back of her head.
I bit my lip and shook my head. Before she could turn around to look for it, I stopped her by holding her hand. "Never mind. I lost it for a second…"
Yeah, I was crazy to even think that now after everything I would pray and Allah would forgive me when I couldn't even forgive myself.
I was pathetic.
"Aisha, you can stay here for a while if you want but eventually you'll have to see your family. You understand my point right?" Vaniya explains and I nod.
"Thanks, Vaniya. I think I need to be alone right now." I mumble and lie down on the L-shaped couch before watching her leave for her room.
~~~
The nights were sleepless and the days felt void of light. When I closed my eyes I only heard shrieks of people who judged me. I see myself stepping outside and being pointed at. My dreams were a mess just like my attire.
I didn't care how I looked or what I ate, I was dead outside and inside. My days were spinning as I lay down on that one sofa only to be budged when Vaniya came home or asked me how I was doing.
"This can't keep going like this. Aisha, pull yourself together. I'm dropping you off at your home." My eyes suddenly went wide as my head whipped in her direction.
"No… Please, no. I can't face them." I pleaded but she shook her head.
"I'm sorry dear. But you need to go home now." With a deadpan face, she turned around only to grab my bag for me.
~~~
I was sitting in the passenger seat when Vaniya pulled her car in front of my home. I was fidgeting with my fingers and hesitant to head out when Vaniya encouraged me with a pat on my shoulder.
"It's okay. You'll be just fine. They wanted you back didn't they?" She speaks and I weakly nod my head.
"I'll give it back to you," I say holding the long scarf that I had wrapped around my head as I wore a black mask to prevent people from noticing me.
It was her scarf that I asked her to lend me since I didn't bring any with me after I left home.
"It's alright. You can keep it." She smiled and I took a breath before pushing myself out of the car and waving her goodbye.
She pulled out of the driveway and I was left alone to deal with my situation.
Taking heavy steps with deep breaths I rang the doorbell and after finally waiting for five minutes I heard my mom's voice before she opened the door for me.
"Maa…" I croaked as I found her standing before the threshold.
"Aisha?" Her eyes welled up with tears as she witnessed me. Within a few seconds she was grabbing me in a tight hug and I melted in her warmth.
"I missed you so much beta." She cried and I let my eyes spill rather than convey her with words.
She pulls herself back wipes away my cheeks and places soft kisses against them. Her affection was comfortingly overwhelming. I needed nothing but to stay in her arms and never face the world again.
I needed to tell them how sorry I was and how much of a fool I was to belittle their love for me. To choose someone else over them. But the stream of tears was the only thing that came out of me.
"What is she doing here?" My father roared from a distance.
His eyes fuming with rage and hatred. All I could witness in his eyes for me was filth. He marched in between my mother and me and pulled my mother away from me.
"We have no daughter. Our daughter has died since the day she sold her soul to the devil."
"Father… I'm sorry." I cried but his demeanor was strong and unwavering as his eyes gleamed with disgust.
He wasn't this way back then when in seventh grade I stole money from his wallet and partied from it, he was very furious. He didn't talk to me for a week and chose to give me silent treatment until I acknowledged my mistake.
But this was even worse, it was the first time I saw this look on his face, not even when I decided to choose my freedom.
"Get out of my house before I kick you out in front of all the neighbors!" He yelled sternly and I flinched at his tone.
"Honey, please. She's here, she knows she did wrong. Let's just forget it." Mom begged, coming in front of him and blocking his path.
"You're asking me to forget?! How can I forget when each day everyone reminds me I'm her father no matter where I go? It would be just great if I could forget her but no, she has to make it difficult for us by committing a new sin, make it viral, and come to us only when she has been betrayed by the one she left us for!"
His harsh words cut me to the core. I was trembling with tears. My mind felt heavy, I bit on my nails as I registered the fact that they knew about me sleeping with David through the viral video.
I was ashamed to bits, if it was possible I wished the ground would split open and take me inside with it.
"Akbar, please. Don't. She's our only daughter." My mom persisted but Dad had his mind made up.
"It would have been better if she were dead." Dad pushed her out of the way and stood before me only to throw me out of the house and shut the door behind with a bang.
I saw trespassers and neighbors watching the scene with wonder and I quickly made sure I was wearing my mask before I turned around only to meet Tahir standing in front of me.
"At Least embarrassment made you cover yourself back again." With seething words, he rushed past me and back inside the house, the house that I used to call home once.
People kept staring at me as I walked away with slow steps. Their eyes were itching me to crawl out of my own skin so I took the easy way out.
I ran.