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Chapter 10 - Chapter 10: Doomed

Hazek POV

After hearing the adhan, I went to the masjid (Muslim place of worship) and prayed. Everyone was leaving the masjid after their prayer but I stayed there, strangely I was feeling down before coming here but all my worries feel like being washed away. I feel at peace whenever I am in sujood (prostration).

The feeling that a being is present who is always watching over you, knows all your good and bad and will protect you unless you give in to him. That's my God, Allah.

I raise both my hands to pray. "Ya Allah if I go astray you're always there to guide me. Always include me to the people of righteousness and protect me from what may devastate my dunia (this world) and the hereafter (day of judgment)."

I close my eyes and continue to pray. "I am a very bad person, oh Allah! I thought I could stop Aisha from ruining her life for fame… But who am I to do that? Just like you are my lord, you're her lord too, you're everyone's God, those who believe in you and those who do not. The fact is you're watching everyone. Please Allah, guide me and her for what is best for us. And if…"

I couldn't seem to bring out those words from my mouth but I knew I had to. My infatuation with Aisha has grown ever since we were children.

When we used to play hide and seek I always tried to hide her behind me so she is safe from getting caught. When we went to school together, I used to fight against her bullies. I gave her my chocolate when she cried for more. She was someone so fragile that I always wanted to protect her and even now.

The difference is that my infatuation has grown into something more and I am afraid if she isn't the one destined for me then I should forfeit. She isn't happy with this relationship. It's as clear as daylight. She said yes because of our families involved.

"Ya Allah! If we aren't good for each other as life partners, I beg you to shut my heart for her and make it easier for me to forget her and move on. Ameen!"

I stood up from the floor after dua (prayer) and almost collided with a man almost if I hadn't stopped on time.

"I am sorry sir," I apologized.

The man looked to be in his sixties with white beard and hair. His complexion was dark, from constantly being exposed to the sun. He was wearing a white robe that had patches in different places.

The man snickered. "I have seen men praying for wealth, health and everything this world has to offer but you are rare. Where did you come from?"

"I… I live around here."

"Love comes in different forms. We all love something, but the love sacrificed for the love of Allah… Is the biggest sacrifice that never goes to waste but comes back to you tenfold."

"Thanks sir. I'll remember this."

"No young man. Only remember your death."

Suddenly the smile from my face disappears and the man walks away without noticing the sudden change in my mood his words had caused. I don't remember for how long I stood there but when I turned to see that old man, he was gone like he never was here.

~~~

After I reached home there was a strange lingering feeling, a feeling of emptiness, a feeling that no one was there to understand me. A feeling that I find hard to share with someone.

To get rid of this feeling, I opened the Qur'an (Islamic Holy Book) and started reading the ayah randomly that first opened in front of me.

"And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement." (Al Ankabut: 64)

I took a deep breath and reread the ayah and tears started to prick my eyes.

Of course. I had the answer to my misery.

I should stop being anxious about my present and future and leave it all to Allah. He will surely make a path for me.

Suddenly I heard some knocking on the door and in a few seconds my mother barged into my room.

"Hazek! Get ready, we have to go shopping." She spoke.

"Shopping, why Mama?"

"Your wedding is going to happen in two months! Do you know we haven't bought anything for the bride? Are we going to bring her into this house barefoot?"

"Mama… I don't know but you should ask Aunt Sufia about this first."

"Sufia and Aisha are coming along! Now be downstairs in five minutes." With her verdict, my mother leaves the room, leaving me dumbfounded.

~~~

Aisha's POV

"Maa no! I am not going!" I protested but it did not affect my mother. She kept on going as if she didn't hear me. "Why do I have to go shopping with Hazek and his mother?! They can take care of it!"

"They'll be here in five minutes. Why are you in those jeans and shirts? I told you not to wear them even in the house. Go change into something decent, if your father sees you looking like this roaming around the house then he'll be mad at me."

"Maa I have assignments to do-"

"Honk! Honk!"

"They are here!" My mom sprints towards the door but then comes back to me and slaps my back. "Go change into decent clothes and come back with your abaya, hijab and niqab on!"

"But maa" My mother gives me her mother-like glare that had me swallowing my words back.

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting in Hazek's car very uncomfortably with my mom next to me and Aunt Najma sitting in the passenger seat.

"I am glad you came, Aisha." Aunt Najma speaks. "A bride must do all her shopping of her choice after all."

"It wouldn't have mattered Aunty," I replied and got elbowed in the gut by my mother who didn't look very happy with my response.

I looked at Hazek who was driving the car very silently.

Of course, he must be okay with everything. He was a mama's boy from the beginning and would happily do anything his parents asked for.

We stopped by a shopping mall. Aunty and Mom did most of the shopping while I just walked behind, uninterestedly who passed her views when asked. Meanwhile Hazek also seemed like a person who was there to just accompany us.

Isn't he excited about this wedding thing?

My phone started ringing and it was the first time that Hazek's eyes flew to meet mine, not once had he dared to look at me while we were together.

I checked my phone and it was David's call. Suddenly my heart leaped to my mouth and I bit my lip to pretend I was alright and not at all anxious or worried if someone would find out who was calling me.

"Excuse me." I took the chance when both women were busy analyzing dresses and came out of the outlet to pick up the call. "Hello."

"Friend! Where are you?!" David's voice echoes.

"I… I am outside home."

"Oh great! I am also outside. Do you want to meet?"

"M-meet?" I almost panicked and from the corner of my eyes I could see Hazek watching over me. "I am with my family right now." I try to speak as calmly as possible.

"It doesn't matter. I could say hi to them."

"Uh… N-no. It's different with my family."

"Your family doesn't know that we're friends?"

"No… Not yet."

"Wow! You're pretty amusing, you know that Aisha?"

"Am I?" I tried to laugh out of the situation but I was quite tense.

"Why do I always feel like getting cold-shouldered even after becoming friends."

I saw a couple walking into the brand outlet where Aunt Najma and Mom were shopping while watching a video together as the boy shared his phone and it was my video!

"Shit!" I blurted and my hand went to my mouth and for the first time I was thankful that I was wearing a Niqab (veil) so no one could see my face.

"I'll talk to you later." Before I could hear David's reply I hung up and rushed inside the shop.

The couple was standing near my aunt and mom and they were sharing stupid giggles as they watched the phone together which had their attention now.

I am doomed.

I shut my eyes and turned around before I could witness my doom.