-WAKE UP-
I blinked and took in my surroundings. I could make out the dim lighting in the room and the coolness of the air against my skin. I struggled to remember what had happened and reminded myself to breathe deeply. The memories began to surface slowly but surely.
"Okay"
I muttered to myself, trying to make sense of it all. I shut my eyes once more and focused, trying to piece together the sequence of events as they had occurred once before. Once I had a grasp on what had happened, I opened my eyes and lay still on the bed, taking a moment to process everything.
"Go away; I am already awake!"
I shouted toward the door. Taking a deep breath, I began to count silently in my head, preparing myself for what was to come. The plan was finally being set in motion. I stood up from my bed and walked towards the door. As I reached for the handle, my hand shook with uncertainty, but I trudged on and swung the door open.
"Is that all you have to say, or do you want something else?"
I spoke in a calm voice, but there was no one there to hear me.
"Go away; I'll be down soon."
I said before slamming the door shut. The next stop was the bathroom, and a warm shower was what I needed.
After I was done, I spent quite a while searching in my closet for the particular fit. A light blue pair of jeans, a dark blue sweater, and a white long-sleeved shirt were what I had on when I came downstairs to find nobody there.
"Good morning"
I said to myself, walked to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and found some bread. I applied a spread of butter and began munching on it.
"Sure thing"
I finished it quickly, then walked towards the door and looked back.
Goodbye,"
And with that, I opened the door and made my way to school.
—
I walked to school, avoiding unnecessary interactions with people along the way. As I walked, I continued sorting out my memories, determined to recall everything accurately.
I finally reached the school grounds and hurried over to my classroom. Upon entering, I noticed that everyone was already seated, and I needed to find the same desk as before. I noticed my desk was vacant in the second row after scanning the space. Without hesitation, I rushed over and took my seat before anyone else could claim it. The class went silent in anticipation of the lesson as Mrs. Jacquelyn entered the room just as I was getting comfortable.
I whirled to look at the boy seated behind me, whom I thought I recognised. I assumed he went by Will or a similar name.
"Hey Louis"
I said I was trying to strike up a conversation. He looked surprised and unsure if I was addressing him as Louis.
"You left pretty early yesterday."
I continued, trying to engage him in conversation.
"Uh, I'm not Louis; you know that, right?"
Of course, I knew that. It was an important part of the plan, despite the fact that I looked like a psycho, but if I continued, it seemed this might draw unnecessary attention.
"Oh, sorry about that."
I said, feigning ignorance.
"I thought you were someone else. Anyway, can you keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate."
The boy muttered something under his breath and had an angry expression. In the hopes that my conversation with the boy wouldn't have any unfavourable effects, I turned around to face the front of the class. Mrs. Jacquelyn was still getting ready, and I tried to focus on her as she began the lesson. But I couldn't help but replay the conversation I had with the boy in my head. Did I act too quickly? Was it a mistake to talk to him? I couldn't shake off the feeling of worry, hoping that my actions wouldn't have any negative impact on what I was trying to achieve.
Before long, the bell rang to signal the beginning of the break, resonating throughout the classroom. It was time to head over to the cafeteria. I got up from my seat and made my way through the crowd of students by swerving in and out. Finally, I stepped out into the open air of the courtyard and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves. My mind started to drift to the memories of the last loop.
—
When I opened my eyes, I saw that I was draped in clothing and lying on the ledge of the clock tower. I sat up and wrapped it around my body, feeling the cool breeze. The sun was setting, indicating it was around 4 p.m. Reuben was nowhere to be found when I turned to look around.
When I heard an explosion off in the distance, I knew right away that Reuben had to be there. I saw him battling the same fire monster we had encountered earlier. Although they went out of my view occasionally, I could hear the chaos they caused. There was a brief moment of silence before I noticed a figure slowly hovering toward me. It was Reuben, and he took a seat next to me.
"What happened?"
I asked, still feeling a bit disoriented from just waking up.
"Well, you cried yourself to sleep, and it turns out that this monster doesn't die; it returns every time I kill it."
Suddenly, everything came flooding back to me, and I folded my legs in closer to my chest.
"What happened to you?"
He asked, but I remained quiet before breaking the silence with another question that I should have asked quite a while ago.
"I never asked what was beyond the town, do you know?"
"Nothing; it just carries on. It gets to the point that you wouldn't be able to go any further away but still perceive the illusion of movement."
It seemed that there might be no way out of here, and the thought of being stuck in this place indefinitely was overwhelming.
"I just want to leave this place."
I just want to leave this place.
"I had sex with him; I took advantage of the scenario, and I hate it."
I used my right arm to dab away the stray tears that had fallen down my cheeks.
"If I don't hold onto my own morals, what's stopping me from becoming a monster? One day I might even do things I never thought I was capable of."
The frightening realisation of the consequences of having no consequences.
"I was contemplating if I should kill my parents. Even though it was for a moment, the fact that I even considered such an idea is messed up. "
The fact that they could come back to life was not an excuse.
"The longer I stay here, the more I lose myself."
I said, tears streaming down my face as I reached for Reuben's hand.
"I can feel it happening to me. I need to get out of here; please help me, Reuben."
He smiled sympathetically, but his words demoralised me.
"Elisa, I have no idea how to free you. If I did, I already would have done it."
I felt a sinking feeling in my chest at his words. Was I trapped here forever? Was there no way out of this never-ending loop of despair and darkness?
"I wish I could help you more. You've suffered too much, and I understand what you're going through. There's no consequence or repercussion to our actions, and everything we do in one loop is erased. All the progress we make with the people we care about is gone, and with no one else remembering it except ourselves, it makes our actions seem pointless."
I could see the anguish and despair in his eyes as he spoke. Whatever was happening, he felt it was personal.
"The only way to end all of this is to find Eliora."
Eliora. I repeated the name, trying to make sense of it.
"Who exactly was she?"
Reuben gave me a serious look.
"She's the one responsible for all this."
So she was the mastermind behind all this?
"And she said I should trust her?"
I said to myself under the whisper of my breath, as I was boiling with rage. She was trying to deceive me, and I actually considered believing her. Why did I think trusting someone who did not show themselves to me was a good idea and preferred to hide behind a mask? Why was she doing that, though? Could it be that she was someone I knew or had met?
"Wait!"
I said as my eyes grew wide. Concerned, Reuben turned to face me.
"I think I met her."
"What?"
He was surprised and intrigued.
"White hair"
I muttered.
"She had white hair, and she was unique. I thought she was a new student when I saw her."
I said, recalling the encounter. For a brief period, Reuben remained silent as he thought, and then he looked at me.
"Why do you think it was her?"
I paused and looked at the ground.
"There was something strange about her. She felt out of place, but it could be nothing; I wasn't aware of the loop at the time. Maybe it was just another scenario."
But then it dawned on me. A scenario. Perhaps we could use the loop to our advantage and try to locate Eliora by manipulating the scenarios.
"I have an idea."
I said, wiping my eyes dry with my arm. Reuben looked at me, curious.
"What is it?"
"It's just a gut feeling, but we can't just sit here and do nothing. We need to try everything we can."
He looked off into the distance after giving a nod.
"Do loops repeat themselves?"
I asked to satisfy my curiosity about a thought I had once had.
"Not that I know of."
"Scenarios are influenced by the memories created by the loop. What if somebody receives the same memories in a different loop? Could they perform the same actions and expect the same outcome?"
Reuben paused to reflect on my question before providing his own opinion on the matter.
"It's possible, but there are many flaws in that theory. The other individuals would also need to have that same memory to interact with that person exactly as they did in the previous loop."
I sighed.
"That's true. But for me to have met Eliora, there must have been something I did differently that day."
Reuben nodded slowly.
"Even though it may not help us find Eliora, it could give us some more insight and clues as to what happened that day."
I smiled.
"At least we have a plan."
I had to recall every detail of everything I did and said that day, but fortunately, going through several loops greatly enhanced my memory recall.
"Sure, let's hope this works then."
He said this as he placed his hand on my head and rubbed the top of it. I was surprised by the sudden gesture, and he seemed to have realised what he had done and pulled his hand away from me immediately.
"Reuben, what was that?"
"You just reminded me of someone, that was all."
Someone? I wonder who? I was not sure. We looked into the distance, and the sun disappeared behind the earth, as I was still contemplating if I should inquire more about this individual or not. However, we were interrupted by an explosion that occurred on the ground in front of us.
"Shit, that thing is alive again. Stay here."
He instructed me as he turned to me.
"Of course, I'll let you do your thing."
I said, adjusting the cloth around my body as I watched him slowly hover off the ledge. Suddenly, there was a massive burst of speed as the monster charged right for Reuben. He barely had time to react before a fireball struck him, sending him crashing into the clock tower and falling to the ground with a loud thud. I rushed over to him, calling out his name in panic.
I heard a loud screech, and when I looked up, the monster was coming straight for me. I quickly swerved out of the way and landed heavily. Its rocky and superheated feet touched the ground as I scrambled to get up and figure out a way out of this. But there was nowhere to go; I was trapped, and it was closing in on me fast.
I found it funny that I was clamouring for this thing to kill me before, but now that I had hope of leaving this place, I had the will to live. Regardless, the plan would begin in the next loop, so there is no need to continue this one.
I had a very dumb idea, and I didn't know exactly what I was doing. My hands appeared to move independently as they instinctively formed clenched fists to cover my face. Was I really going to try and fight a fire demon from hell with just my fists? If I was going to end this loop, why not go out in a cool and totally outlandish way?
I charged the creature with a ferocious battle cry, ready to strike, but then it let out a raging wave of flames, opening its mouth wide. I was quickly overcome by the intense heat after failing to avoid it in time. I screamed in agony as I felt my body burning and my senses starting to shut down one by one. First my sight, then my hearing, and finally my sense of feeling It didn't take long before everything went black.
—
This was the moment of truth. I got to the courtyard, where we had our first encounter. As I walked through the crowd, I noticed it was smaller than it was in the first loop. Was this going to have any effect on the success of the plan?
As I walked over to where we had collided, my nerves were getting the better of me, and I was having trouble breathing. I stood there, waiting for any sign of her, but there was nothing. I looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of her white hair in the sea of faces. Still, there was no sign of her. Disheartened, I sat down on the ground, burying my face in my palm. This wasn't going as I had hoped, but I couldn't give up yet.
"This was the only way."
I said to myself as I slammed my fist on the ground in frustration, causing some people around me to glance my way. I needed to keep trying.
"There has to be something I'm missing."
I muttered to myself, determined to figure it out. A girl came over to me while I was still sitting there, her face showing concern.
"Hey, are you alright?"
I recognised her as Holly. I got to my feet and brushed my clothes off.
"Yes, I am. Holly, right?"
She appeared startled but made an effort to hide it as she agitatedly fiddled with her hair.
"Yeah, that's me. How did you know my name?"
"You are a member of the mental health group, aren't you?"
She appeared pleased that I was aware of it.
"Yes, I am."
"Great. You can call me Elisa."
"Elisa. Nice to meet you. Are you interested in the group by any chance?"
She asked, fidgeting with her hands.
"Or maybe you want me to have a session?"
Thinking about it, that might not be a bad idea.
"Sure, I could use a break."
I said after a quick sigh, and she grinned and walked away. I knew this wasn't in my original plan, but maybe a therapy session would do me some good, so I chuckled to myself and followed her. We both found ourselves in an empty junior high classroom, with Holly sitting on a desk and me on a chair. She held a notebook and pen, scribbling down some notes before looking at me intently.
"What is on your mind right now?"
Her gaze was fixed as she asked. I paused to think before answering, with a hint of humour in my voice.
"I'm wondering why I wasn't lying down on a couch like they do in the movies or something."
We both laughed at the idea.
"Very funny"
Holly said, her lips curving into a smile.
"But we make do with what we have."
She added. Feeling the weight of my thoughts, I heaved a sigh.
"Imagine having the opportunity to do whatever you want without any consequences."
Holly raised an eyebrow, finding the idea intriguing.
"I don't think that's possible. There has to be a result to every action we take."
I nodded, contemplating her words.
"Well, what if everything resets and you can repeat it again, like a time loop?"
Holly's eyes widened as she became aware of something.
"Exactly. You're talking about living in a time loop, where actions can be repeated without permanent consequences."
I leaned back in the chair, a mix of fascination and apprehension swirling within me. The concept held both excitement and trepidation, raising countless questions about the nature of such an existence.
"So, what do you think about it?"
I asked Holly because I was interested in her viewpoint. She took a brief pause and looked thoughtful.
"Living in a time loop would certainly offer unique opportunities for exploration and growth. But it also raises ethical and moral dilemmas. Can we truly escape consequences, even if they're temporary? And how would such a reality shape our understanding of ourselves and our choices?"
Her words resonated with me and reminded me that even in a world without eternal repercussions, our choices and the lessons we learn can still have an impact. I noticed that she was looking at me a little perplexed.
"Is that what is bothering you? A hypothetical question?"
I had forgotten that she was not aware that the loop was real. She probably thought I was getting worked up over something so trivial and dumb. However, she appeared to notice my unease as she asked another question.
"Well, what do you think you should do if you were in a time loop?"
I remained silent, contemplating my response. It seemed that she was willing to take it seriously because of me. That was nice of her.
"You should uphold your standards and beliefs. However, I believe that they will only guide you for so long before you risk losing yourself and becoming something darker, revealing your true nature."
Holly took notes in her notebook while looking at me.
"The ability to not face consequences should be something no one should possess. I think it has the power to corrupt, so I say that you find a way out."
"A way out?"
"Yep, let's assume that we need to find the person responsible."
While grinning, Holly set her notebook and pen down on her lap.
"And once you find them, what will you do?"
"I am not sure about that. Imagine if the loop were causing others to suffer, like your friends and family. What would you do in that situation?"
She placed the pen against her mouth as she thought of an appropriate response.
"I would try to convince the person, but if that fails, I guess it would be a clash, even though I know that I might lose."
I sighed, then stood up from the chair and stretched.
"Thanks for that, Holly. I know it was all a hypothetical scenario, but it is important to me."
"You are welcome."
She took a quick look at her watch before standing up.
"It's almost noon, and I need to get ready for the next class."
"Oh, wait, before you go, have you seen anybody with white hair around the school, Holly?"
"White hair?"
She said to herself as she scratched the top of her head.
"No, I have not. I am sure I would have remembered if I did."
I found it funny and ironic that she said that, considering the current situation.
"Thanks, anyways. This was a massive help."
My session with Holly was surprisingly comforting. I felt a sense of relief and gratitude as we wrapped up our conversation.
"We can continue our session later in the lab, alright?"
The lab? A surge of realisation hit me like a bolt of lightning, and I couldn't contain my excitement.
"Holy shit!"
I exclaimed, causing Holly to stop and look at me with concern. I gathered myself as quickly as possible.
"I think I might have figured it out. Holly, you may have helped me remember."
She turned to face me as she waited for an explanation.
"Eliora. She told me how to find her after all this time"
I expressed my gratitude with fervour, my voice brimming with anticipation. I impulsively threw myself into Holly's arms and gave her a tight hug because I was so excited. She appeared taken aback by the sudden display of affection, her surprise evident on her face as I pulled away.
"Thank you so much!"
As my hands continued to cup her face, I cried out. Then, as she nervously averted her gaze, I noticed a slight blush spreading across her cheeks.
"You're welcome,"
She stammered, as she hadn't anticipated how intense the situation was. Realising the abruptness of my actions, I hastily released my grip and swiftly made my way out of the room, leaving Holly behind, likely still bewildered.
There was an odd feeling of emptiness in the air as I walked down the corridor and entered another block. This floor had the unsettling feeling that it had been deserted for a long time. As I made my way down the empty hallway, I took care with every step. Eventually, I arrived in front of a door adorned with a sign that read "PHYSICS LAB."
"This is it,"
I whispered to myself. It became obvious at that precise moment. Eliora's mention of the physics lab held a much deeper meaning. She had intended for me to remember and return to this place across different loops, knowing that only someone who had broken free from the loop's effects would possess such memories. However, a profound question persisted in my head: did she orchestrate my escape from the loop in the first place, and why did she seemingly do nothing about it?
I was lost in my thoughts, standing outside the physics lab, wondering why Eliora was acting the way she was. The longer I hesitated, the more the questions multiplied. However, there was only one way to uncover the truth: to venture inside and discover why she had beckoned me here.
I mustered up the courage to open the door and enter the lab. The room was enveloped in darkness, with only faint rays of natural light seeping in through the partially opened door and the cracks in the blinds. The dim illumination revealed an array of equipment and apparatus scattered throughout the space, some reflecting glimmers of light off their polished surfaces.
Yet the lab appeared vacant—void of any human presence.
I was suddenly drawn to a peculiarity hidden in a corner. There, an intense darkness pulsated with an otherworldly vibrancy. It resembled the void through which I had conversed with Eliora.
It was a tear in reality.
I fixed my gaze on the rhythmic expansion and contraction of this anomaly, which was emitting energy pulses with each oscillation, mesmerised. A sense of trepidation tinged with curiosity coursed through my veins.
As I inched closer, an unforeseen mishap occurred. My foot broke through the floor, plunging into the tear. I quickly reacted and used my arms to catch myself, desperately trying to stop being completely consumed. With a burst of determination, I freed my foot from the clutches of the tear and swiftly rose to my feet.
Panic seized me as I looked around at the various tears that were all around me. I instinctively leapt over them and sprinted toward the exit. As I burst out into the courtyard, my breath heavy and adrenaline coursing through my veins, I suddenly heard a voice calling out to me.
"Wait"
I came to a sudden stop and turned to see someone coming my way. She stopped a few metres away, gasping for breath, her white, curly hair cascading down to her shoulders. She was dressed in tight, dark jeans and a baggy sweater. It was her—Eliora.
"I found you,"
I said this with a mixture of relief and intrigue in my voice. She glanced around, her face paling as her breathing escalated.
"What the hell?"
She exclaimed in disbelief. I quickly realised that her attention wasn't focused on me and turned around. I immediately felt a chill crawl up my spine as everybody in the area was fixated on me, staring at me with lifeless eyes. They appeared to have had their very souls torn from them, leaving behind empty shells. I felt a wave of fear come over me. My body shook as I took a step backward before turning to face Eliora.
"What is all this?"
I demanded, letting my frustration and confusion come through in my voice. She stared at me in awe, seemingly taken aback by the intensity of my reaction.
"I have no idea. This is definitely new."
She responded, her voice tinged with a hint of frustration, but her response struck me as disingenuous, and I refused to accept her feigned ignorance.
"Don't play dumb with me,"
I firmly said, with a hint of accusation in my voice. I needed answers, and her evasive behaviour only fueled my determination to uncover the truth. I began striding towards her with purposeful intent as my anger began mounting.
But just as I approached her, a deafening rumble filled the air. A colossal chasm cracked open between us, widening with each passing moment. I tried to steady myself and maintain my balance, but the force of the chasm's pull was too strong. I was consumed by its depths as everything went black.