I watch as Suluk fights Ridge and it takes my breath away to see such powerful men moving like feral animals. Fire flies around and the clashing of weapons can be heard even from the safe distance I'm at. I whisper out how I'm sorry before turning and leaving him here with Ridge alone. Clover can handle himself, he should be safe where I left him. I pass through unnoticed to the others who are fighting, stealthily making my way to where I'm needed. Where my visions have shown me. Luckily Ginger is already in her other form, so she won't be too hurt when my fate befalls me. And she'll have plenty of people to help comfort her when she shifts back.
As I walk up to the small clearing between the gate and forest, an eerie sense fills my bones. I feel restless and itching for a fight as I walk up to the place that's haunted my dreams and visions for so long now. I take a deep breath before stepping out into it, waiting for the dark ones to appear, just like it's been in my dreams every night for months now. I steady my nerves and lock my spine, fisting my hands at my sides as I build up all the light magic I possess. I say a silent prayer to my gods and wish that my friends and daughter will forgive me for what I'm about to do.
I hear footsteps approaching quickly. Like wild animals about to corner their prey. I'm prepared for this, I've been training and expanding my magic for this moment. These predators haven't realized yet, that what they think is prey is also as dangerous as they are. I'm so focused on what's ahead of me that I don't watch my back. Nothing's ever come for me from behind before, but the hand on my shoulder startles me out of my concentration. I turn my head ready to fight, but see sad, red rimmed, shimmering purple eyes. It breaks my heart and I know something is wrong. "Kieren? What are you doing here?" I whisper, turning my attention back to the task at hand. They're only a few feet away now.
"I'm helping. I'm not losing any more friends today." I look at him surprised, my brows furrowing in confusion at his statement.
"Who?" It's the only word I can manage right now.
"Ava." His voice cracks and it breaks something in me to know that Suluk is dying inside from this. That we all are, at losing such a wonderful person, who was so full of life. I let that anger build in me as I focus all of this pain, hatred, grief, and rage at the ones running at us. A slim, inky rope of smoke runs from where Kierens hand is placed on my shoulder to wrap around me like a snake. His shadows shoot out as the wizards and dark creatures break through the trees and hurl themselves over the wall. He's planning on attacking, trying to give me time to work myself up to where I need to be safely.
"Kieren. You have to leave. It'll kill you if you stay here." I try to plead with him one last time. His eyes harden, cold and calculating now overshadow where pain and sadness were just a moment ago. His silence speaks volumes and tells me everything I need to know. He's not planning on leaving this field alive. This was always his plan, and it's just now dawning on me. It's why he has been so nice, and considerate this past year. Going out of his way to help all of us and make sure we had everything we needed. My heart shatters and I feel that power I kept at bay, slamming against my skin and bones to get out. Feel his own small amount of light magic try to mix with mine. His will of fire reaching out to tangle with my own in a last ditch effort to save me. I can't stop the tears from flowing like a raging river to match our magic flowing through me.
"Now…" Is all he whispers into my ear as a wizard takes out his last shadow with a small stream of lightning. Kieren smiles softly at me, as if he's already forgiven me and grateful that his suffering will reach an end finally. It shatters what's left of my walls as a scream pulls from my throat sending light, stars, and shadows to burst from me. It's chaotically beautiful to see our magic twist and blend like this. The shine in his eyes slowly dimming and making my heart ice over as if it's dying with him.
"KIEREN!" I scream and reach out for him as he starts to fall to the ground. I manage to catch his upper half before his head slams into the icy Earth. The pain and anger manifesting in a screech that sounds like it should come out of a creature from hell, and not myself. I refuse to let him die here, in this place of battle, like this. He has so much left he needs to do. So much to live for, even if he doesn't believe it right now. I let my dark magic take over slowly as I try to push as much light and dark magic I can into him; to keep his heart beating. My only thought is to save him now.
I know I'm slowly turning into something out of a nightmare as my skin turns a sickly color and my eyes become black, with two pink irises in each socket. The black smudges from my eyes up to my forehead and down to my cheeks as white lines start to appear. They're an ancient, dead language of a people I lost so long ago. They usually help to suppress this unwanted power, but now they'll break free to let it all lose. I watch as this power tears my clothes to show the rushing white marks snaking down my arms to wrap around the tips of my fingers. I watch as they glow a soft blue hue and feel that awful sense of dread creep down my spine at what is going to happen next. I feel my hair start to unravel from the bun I placed it in earlier today, starting to turn a deep blue in color and fall around me. It's only a few moments away, before it all breaks out and I can't stop it.
Something sinister, mouthful of teeth and blood, snarls right beside my left ear and I don't have to even turn my head to annihilate it. Letting that darkness free to take it all on its own. The only sound coming from it now is a high pitched whimper and its last ghostly breath. Kierens chest rises and it's all I need to know to set him down and stand, approaching the wicked creatures born in darkness and raised on evil. The snow swirls around me as I slowly lift my arms. The ground cracking and dying beneath my feet. My canines elongate and become more pointed as I walk toward the small hoard charging at me. Unlike their temporary masters, who are trying to run away, they've been trained to never back down. To never give up and die long before they admit defeat. The wizards that are supposed to keep them on a short leash have turned tail and started to cower away.
A twitch of my fingers sends enough dark magic to turn them into dust without a second thought. My focus returns to the animals at my front. The actual threat that could take our troops out in no time. Collecting all the light magic I have left I close my eyes and take a deep breath. A small smile curving my lips upward as I feel everything. As I remember every peaceful and happy memory that I've ever experienced. I see the marriage of my sister and then birth of my nephew that followed quickly after. When I met my husband, and then our wedding. I see our little son play with my nephew and come home to ask us so many questions about why they don't look alike. I watch my life play out slowly in frosted edged frames. I see the moment I arrived at this kingdom and how I called it my new home. The small adventures it took to get here and all the lovely souls I've met along the way. I see Ginger wrapped in ragged, dirty cloths as a baby screaming out in the forest where I used to pick my herbs. I watch her grow up to be the amazing woman she is now. Feel the pride when she mastered her flames, and then again when she shifted for the first time and understood the hand sign we worked so hard on. I see Suluk and Kieren stumble into our lives and then again when Ava and Sevanah do the same.
I'm surprised to see a vision of a happy future after I'm gone. My daughter marries Clover at a small wedding and she looks so happy. I see her playing with children as Clover looks blushing. I see Kieren travel again and wear a real smile once more. I see Suluk by his side and again full of life and happiness. I see someone who looks so familiar, but I'm only able to see their back, standing by his side. I watch as he wraps an arm around her thick waist and helps her sit down, watching her short hair bounce with every movement and his loving eyes never leave her. White hot tears betray me and rush past my lashes again once I open my eyes again and release my magic.
A thick, blinding, flash of yellow light laced with white sparkles burst from me. Howling, whining, and screeches fill the air around me and I know I've accomplished my goal. That it's; finally time for me to rest and know that I'll be watching over my friends from afar. My heart breaks and swells at the same time to know I'll soon be reunited with my lost family, and wait patiently for the daughter I've raised here. I'll tell amazing tales of my adventures and all the people I've met to my husband and son. I'll finally get to hug my little sister again and play with my nephew until he grows tired.
I fall into the snow as the last bit of magic finally leaves me and the blinding light slowly fades. My body feels as though it's been filled with lead as I lean forward on my knees, looking up at the dark sky and trace the snowflakes returning to slowly drift down with my tired eyes. Covering the now empty space slowly in a cold, white blanket again. I feel my consciousness slowly slipping and that darkness creeping in to replace it. Panic starts to fill me as my nails start to turn black and that dark substance slowly spread out across my fingers like spilled ink. Suluk isn't here to stop me. Kieren is laying in the snow unconscious and recovering. My breathing comes out in shallow, rapid puffs as that realization sets in.
A figure slowly comes out of the trees and I see fire slowly setting the dried leaves to float down to the ground in ashes as it encroaches on me. Glowing red eyes look at me intently. I know those eyes. I raised those focused, predatory eyes. She looks at me curiously for a moment, sniffing the air slightly. I see it in her eyes. She recognizes me, but I no longer smell like me. I now smell like death. Like rot and decay as my dark side is slowly taking over. She still sees her mothers eyes, my braids, and my figure but I'm not looking like myself anymore. Now looking like something born in the shadows to wander the darkness and cause death and havoc. She slowly does the hand sign to me, waiting patiently for me to return it. I can't. My limbs won't move right now. I'm too tired, spent to much of my life force to take out those that threatened my family, my friends, and my home.
She waits a few moments and when it dawns on her that I won't be returning her gesture, she stands straighter. I watch as she lifts her hands, small sparks and flames puffing and swirling as she does. Watch as the pain and horror in her eyes turn to understanding. She can't stop herself, and she knows it. No matter how much she doesn't want to hurt me, her other half knows what's happening. Can smell it changing me as she stares. It knows I can't be left alone and walk out of here alive. I'm too dangerous like this and I give her a small smile of reassurance. Letting her know I'm not mad at her. That I forgive her, and I still love my sweet, baby girl no matter what happens now.
I keep my eyes on hers as she sends fire to consume me. I don't feel any of the pain as my body slowly turns into ashes to float away on the wind. I watch as she slightly shakes, not from the cold but from the pain of losing me and holding her sobs in. I whisper out to her my last five words as I see that one sizzling, fiery tear fall from her eye to turn into steam as it rolls to the middle of her cheek. My last words floating away with me on the wind as she turns to walk back into the trees, as the last of me is consumed into flames and darkness.
"I love you my aodhamiar."