I thought I found solace in giving up,
That surrender would be enough.
A respite from sorrow and defeated dreams,
A way to soothe my inner screams.
But stillness grew to restless discontent,
As regret seeped in from roads not went.
What might have been haunted days and nights,
If I had persevered and fought the fight.
Whispers of ambition stirred me awake,
New possibilities my spirit did shake.
Could there be a future if I tried once more?
Even if triumph wasn't guaranteed in store?
Hope crept in on soft and quiet feet,
That giving up was accepting defeat.
It gently roused my slumbering will,
And called me to challenge life's next hill.
So I rose weary but resolved anew,
To pursue dreams I believed were true.
I gathered my fractured hopes and plans,
And took hope's hand to these new lands.
But disappointment met me around the bend,
More dead ends with nowhere to wend.
With each setback and failure hope slipped away,
Exposed as a pretender who promised to stay.
Soon I stood again emptied and Aching,
Right back where I started, dreams breaking.
Weary once more of fighting the tide,
I dropped hope's hand and turned aside.
Returned to the comfort of stillness and rest,
That giving up might be what's best.
At least here dreams can't shatter and fall,
Nor ambitions sting me with their gall.
Perhaps hope hovered but for a moment,
To lure me briefly from my dormant.
But hope's flicker was merely a passing ghost,
Fleeing as quickly as encountered and host.
A momentary trick of the light,
That vanished into disappointment's night.
Leaving me darkened and more bereft,
Of dreams abandoned that hope had left.
Now wiser to hope's fleeting illusion,
I retreat back to disillusion.
Here half alive but protected from pain,
Safely enveloped in surrender's refrain.
At least disappointment can't reach me here,
Shielded from hope that appeared too near.
I'll rest in my melancholy quarantine,
Where dreams are kept quiet and hopes unseen.
Too many times now hope has abandoned,
Return promised but never delivered.
I'll lock it out to protect my weary heart,
And from striving anew, keep apart.
For I can bear no more loss and distress,
Just long for stillness, for nothingness.
Let dreams fade to silence, no more inner screams,
As I drift along devoid of schemes...