He was just working a night shift at the hospital.
One of his co-workers had fallen ill on the day a famous patient was going to get their surgery. He would have helped, really, but that wasn't his scope. He didn't study surgery and become a surgeon. He was merely a doctor for kids. And he was satisfied with that.
It was satisfying to see them smile when their 'boo boo' is gone.
So, after his- hopefully final patient for the night, he finds himself slowly falling asleep. He leaned on the table, crossing his arms and placing his head above. Gee, he's experienced this more than enough but today must've been rough. He did run from room to room, tending patients left and right, giving orders and what not.
He wonders if his puppy was waiting for him back in his apartment. It must be crying waiting for his best friend to come back. A small smile appeared on his lips before his eyes finally closes and he fell into the darkness. His last thoughts was about the puppy, his last family.
***
If you were to ask, the young man was a Roman Catholic on paper, and while he does believe in God, that didn't mean he was as devoted like other but this time...
He was truly going to kneel and pray to the Lord.
Really.
He was ready to honestly get on his knees and beg God to take him out of his misery. Why does the worst thing always happen to him? It wasn't like he asked for this; he was perfectly fine with his previous life. He was already fine with his job as a doctor and ready to set up his own clinic.
So, can someone tell him why he had to open his eyes to someone he had already moved past?
He stands in front of the mirror, having finished bathing to calm his mind. He's been trained to keep calm at all times, to not lash out and think rationally. If you can't even be calm about the situation, how can you take care of the patient?
Splashing the water on his face, he tries to run away from this reality. He tries to pretend he still has his brown hair and dark brown eyes. He tries to tell himself that this is a nightmare and he'll just have to wake up.
That he just has to try and find a way out of this horrible joke.
He was in denial and he knew that.
There was no way he had the same white hair and baby blue eyes as he'd had in the past, in his past life. There was no way he was in the room where someone would risk their life for him. It was just a nightmare.
A realistic one but a nightmare nonetheless.
But when he looked up at the mirror, he needed to accept it.
This wasn't a nightmare.
This was reality.
And how cruel was reality to bring him to this point? How cruel was God to give him back his old life that he didn't want? That he'd already moved past it and that he regrets The silence was suffocating until he realized, Ah, maybe he'd gone back to this world to make up for his regret.
Regret, huh...?
His past life wasn't all that interesting. He'd lived a normal life, as normal as a child that didn't have the blood of those he calls his parents. He lived a life, clinging to them, to people who wouldn't even save him if he dies.
He'd died once.
He knew what it was like.
He wasn't an abused child. They were a perfect family despite everything that happened. But maybe, his regret was not being obedient to follow them, to follow... to do what they wanted him to do. And in that sense, maybe he could make up that regret.
He wasn't hoping for anything now.
He didn't look for love when he knows it would just be taken back, given to another.
He stares back at the face he hates seeing. The face that doesn't resemble his mother, the woman who gave birth to him, No. That was wrong. It wouldn't resemble her, not when he's nothing but a fake, a cannon fodder, warming the seat up for the heroine to take place in the near future.
[Theodore Lucielle A. Salvador]
The name of the cannon fodder in a book he'd read once It was also the name he lived by in his first life. He stares at his white hair and baby blue eyes—those eyes that he wanted to gouge out and take out because he doesn't want to give people reasons to hate him more.
He wanted to rip out every single strand of his white hair; he wanted it to go back to the brown he was used to. He wanted to have those familiar dark brown eyes he'd had back then, before he woke up in this predicament.
God, he was acting like a spoiled brat, wasn't he?
But he doesn't want this and didn't ask for it.
So please, if someone was listening to him, take him out of his misery.
Even if he had to die.
As he dealt with his slowly dying determination and will, someone knocked on the bathroom door. He turns his eyes to the door, hearing a voice that sent chills down his spine and gave him a shudder when he remembered.
"Young master, are you perhaps done taking a bath?"
"Yes, I'll be moving out soon. Prepare my clothes outside as well as a blindfold, thank you."
"As you wish, young master."
Theodore ran a hand through his hair. If he remembers well enough, or as much as his memory makes him remember, he is currently sixteen years old. The heroine must've returned yesterday, and that meant he was already heading to the academy, as the Duke ordered him too.
It wasn't until a week before school started that Theodore was already heading to the dormitory. It was simple to understand. He doesn't truly know why he hadn't noticed and begged to stay back then. The duke and his family didn't want him anymore. The original owner of his position was here already.
He was done playing his role.
The throne he'd sat in for the past sixteen years was now ready to receive its owner.
He sees the slowly healing red slap mark on his face, one he'd received yesterday for acting improperly in front of the heroine. Theodore inhales and places a hand on his face, seeing the small glow of green appear and healing it.
A small smile appears on his face.
If there was one thing he'd missed in this life, it was his magic over the wind. It would have helped during the hot season, and he'd missed his healing magic. One he'd completely ignored in his past life, but considering how things would go in the future, if he could cultivate this, then he could repent for his sins.
After one more splash of water, he finally heads out.
He takes a look at his clothes—the academy clothes he'd trashed back then. He feels second-hand embarrassment from what he has done in the past. A kid. He was just a kid. He then saw the black blindfold on top of the clothes and sighed. He wonders how he could walk inside this mansion with that on, but he holds his hands out.
"May the wind lead."
He whispers to nobody in particular and yet, he could feel the wind flow past him. As if responding to his calls, the answer to his request.
Once finished, he let the breeze lead him outside. He remembers a conversation, one where someone told him that his older brother hated his eyes and told him he hated to see them and that if he wanted to stay in this mansion alive, then he would avoid him.
He didn't heed it back then, and he probably shouldn't, but he didn't want his departure to bring them bad memories. He hears someone approach him; he doesn't know but there was a frown on the man's face, "What are you doing? Why are you wearing such an ugly thing on your eyes?"
"Older bro-" he remembers that the man in front of him hated being called an older brother, hated being related with him, "I have learned my lessons, young master, as per your order, I will now hide my eyes from your view."
He remembers the head maid's words, she had instilled from a young age that he was merely a replacement. That if he wanted to live as a noble, to live with this family, he should listen to her.
One of the things she said was that the young master had disliked him. That was why calling him an older brother was disrespectful.
Again, he was not looking for affection.
He just wanted to correct his wrongs.
Theodore bows to his older brother, "I will take my leave as per the duke's order. I apologize for acting improperly and will repent. Please send my regards and this letter to milady, I shall leave now before the coach forgets."
He was able to pass him before he felt a hand pull his arm, "Will you not... eat with us?"
"I apologize, young master. I already had my breakfast earlier," Theodore told him, gently pulling away and leaving. Once he had been out of hearing range, the heir of the Salvador Duchy frowned, a horrible taste leaving his mouth, "Young master...?"
Theodore managed to get out of the mansion without any problems, he finally took off the blindfold, blinking his eyes to get used to the sunlight. He smells the butler from earlier, albeit not seeing him. Their scent were the same.
The butler had been placing his luggage inside the carriage. Theodore took a step down the mansion doors, one step at a time. And once he'd graduate from the academy, he would disappear, he wouldn't return to this godforsaken mansion, he would become a hobo or start his own tribe in the forest.
But first, he needed to change his classes when he reaches school. He was not going to take swordsmanship and fighting classes, he'll just take alchemy and medicinal classes. It would help him improve more, after all.
And as Theodore made his final step, the door to the mansion opened. He looks back and sees a woman panting as she looks at him. There was something in her eyes that seemed like hurt and guilt. It made his heart break; she shouldn't feel any of that. It wasn't her fault. It was his. He replaced her child. She shouldn't be feeling guilty for ignoring him. He was too clingy. He didn't deserve that gaze. She rushes towards him, not minding etiquette as she finally reaches him.
She holds his hands in hers and says, "Are you leaving so soon? You know your father was merely stressed out after someone claimed themselves to be their child on your birthday." The woman then shakes her head and says, "No, that isn't an excuse. This mom is sorry. Can you please come and join us for breakfast before you go?"
'...but your not my mother.' He wanted to tell her. It might be true that she served as one for all his life but he hears the voice of the maid in his head, 'A benchwarmer... that's what you are.'
Still, he finally got a piece of information he wanted.
Theodore managed to get a timeline up in his head already; the heroine had arrived a few days ago; it didn't happen yesterday. His cheek would honestly be painful, after all. In any case, he looks at the duchess in front of him, and he wants to hug her and agree with her, but he can't.
He wasn't her son.
He wasn't her flesh and blood.
And maybe that was the most painful thing in this world.
He hesitates to call her, and seeing that breaks her heart more. How much pain have they instilled in this child? How could one of her in-laws do that on his birthday, no less? Even her father-in-law had been angered.
"That- mo-duchess," he spoke with a hesitant tone, "I'm afraid if I go any later than this, then I would bring shame to the Salvador name. We are punctual, and if I come in later, it would damage our reputation."
Theodore flinches; her nails were digging into his skin, and she finally looks at him, her eyes widening when she sees that she had dug too deep. She was about to apologize, but she feels a breeze pass by them. Looking at her son, she sees the wound heal quickly, and a green light slowly wraps its arms around the arm.
She looks at his face and notices the slap she had made has already healed. Her son had to heal his face after she slapped him a few days avo for being improper. She'd hurt her own son. Her light. Her baby. The tears slowly started to form on her face, and she wanted to apologize.
"Theodore." A voice spoke out from behind them.
When the white-haired boy looked up, he had to inhale. The sudden pressure was about to suffocate him, but he held it in. "Good morning, your excellency. If I may, the duchess seems to be tired. I apologize for making her run." He speaks to the man in front of him.
"Your excellency...?" The man dared to ask and Theodore looks up at the man he once calls father, he inhales. The book had clearly said that he wasn't their child.
So, he could only speak once more, "Yes, your excellency. I apologize for always going out of line and calling you two mother and father, I have learned from the past and will now address you formally as you wished."
"Theo-" It was then, the butler approaches from behind Theodore and whispers to his ears, "Once again, I apologize, duke and duchess, I shall be taking my leave now lest I want to be late."
But for whatever reason, the duke holds out his hand, a strange look in his eyes, "No. You will not leave unless you have eaten breakfast. The chefs did not cook earlier and yet you tell your brother you have eaten?"
"But-" the duke pulls on him, "Come," he glares at the young boy, "We will eat and you will have a proper send off." Theodore couldn't struggle and he just let's it be, and for some reason, he hears the duke say to him, "And for everything I've done, I apologize. We will talk more about it soon."
Theodore has more questions but he decided to stay silent and follow the duke.
***
The ducal family was filled with figures that can slap even the most handsome actors he knew of in his old world.
Firstly was the duke. The man was handsome, with white hair and red eyes, he was easily on of the most handsome person he had ever seen, in both worlds. It goes the same for his older brother, the twin siblings, and his younger brother.
His mother, the duchess, had blonde hair and blue eyes. She was beautiful as she was elegant. Although he indeed has white hair and blue eyes, the thoughts that he had once pushed back, that he had ignored came back.
'You mean those dirty hair and eyes? Do any of your sibling match you? The blood of both the duke and duchess are strong, you either have the duke or the duchess!'
Breakfast was... unnerving. He sees his older brother stealing glances at him while his second brother is staring at him. He hears his younger brother sniffling, and he feels him holding his hand hard as if not wanting him to leave. His mother was beside his father, glaring at the heroine, who was talking their ears off.
Speaking of the heroine, she too has white hair and red eyes. She definitely screams the duke in more ways than one. He sighs inwardly; this was not a situation he wanted to be in.
"Big brother, big brother, I want to eat that! And that! Can you cut it for me, please?" The youngest of the family, Drew Salvador, is currently five years old and eleven years younger than him. He had their mother's blonde hair and blue eyes. He was the cutest little brother anyone could have.
Since he was a pediatrician, he knew how to handle kids. Theodore smiled at the young boy, he had a bright future but he had died early. He pats the boys head and offers him what he wanted, would things change if Drew lived? It definitely would. He stares at the young boy.
He wanted to protect that smile.
"Why didn't you just cause a ruckus and tantrum? his second brother asked. "Dad would spoil you; after all, you are the favorite." Theodore didn't say anything. He was at fault for always going against the heroine. His father was angry and only stared at him from his prison cell as he suffered.
But a crime that almost killed the future crown princess- queen- would be treason. He doubts even the ducal family could do anything.
It's the same for his mother. Plus, why would he, someone without the same blood flowing in him, be the favorite? "I had seen how embarrassing and immature that was. It would also mean I didn't learn anything from my mistake."
It could be said that the twins were the actual embodiment of their father. The two had white hair and red eyes, each had their own strengths. They were strong and smart, it was so unlike him that it made him think of words spoken in the past.
Theodore knew that technically, genes didn't work like that. There might be a chance. He knew that what the maid said was false but for something engraved in him for most of his life can't simply be erased by things just like that.
At that moment, his instinct screamed.
There was something wrong going on; Theodore could feel it. As far as his memory serves, his brothers didn't like him, especially the second brother. He remembers him laughing at his outburst and tantrum and talking to his friends about him. He bites his lips and turns towards the eldest brother, who sighed.
"Theodore, I don't hate your eyes. I don't know who instilled that in you or said that I hated your eyes, but I don't." His older brother, who looked a lot like their father, spoke to clear something up. At that moment, he looks at his two older brothers; the younger one was Athanasius Salvador, and the older was Wilhelm Salvador.
They were so out of character from both his memories and the book that it was hurting his head even thinking about them. He lowers his head and closes his eyes; something is wrong. This was supposed to be a nightmare, wasn't it?
He wasn't supposed to be loved.
He'd done so many horrible things that he didn't deserve this.
"Theo?"
His mother, Lilian Salvador, called out to him; she looked at him worriedly and was about to go to his side when he did the unexpected. He had pulled Drew toward him, blocking his sight from whatever was about to happen. Nobody had expected a maid to rush in with a knife to stab Drew.
Fortunately, Theodore was faster; he had protected Drew, and instead, he was the one who was stabbed. A scream came out of Drew's mouth when he heard his brother grunt in pain, and in quick succession, he saw his brother cough out blood.
In Theodore's mind, he remembers this scene happening and is glad he was able to stop it, but for some reason, why wasn't the heroine immediately taking action to try and heal Drew or him?
He felt it earlier; no, that was wrong; he didn't feel anything earlier.
So, was it possible that the heroine hadn't awakened her powers?
No. Maybe he was overthinking things. Just because it happened in the past doesn't mean it will happen again. Maybe she was too shocked. Yeah, that was it. He looks at Drew, who was already crying in his arms, and he wipes his tears. "You're okay, right? Did I hurt you?"
"N-No! B-big brother! Daddy! Mommy! Big brothers! Please help big brother! He's hurt!" But Theodore felt too far out of it to know what was happening. He concludes that there must've been a fast acting poison. He only smiles at Drew. "That's good," he whispers, "I don't want to hurt you..." and he continues, "Because I don't want to hurt anyone anymore..."
And that was when he fainted, not knowing what happened right after.