"Aiko, I love General Calais," I start, hoping fervently that she will believe me. "That time I seduced him is the time I really understood what I felt for him."
Aiko raises her eyebrows at me.
I continue, not allowing her to retort. "I don't want to join the Queen selection. If my father allows it, I'd like to get married to General Calais and leave this place."
"His house is an abandoned mansion, miss. You can't live in that pigsty."
"But if it's with him, I will still choose his place."
Besides, Calais' mansion is not really a pigsty. There are a lot of knights there and very few servants, but it's far from being a pigsty. It's just a normal big house, despite not having the extravagance that Duke Lartius' mansion has.
"My Lady," she starts. "Are you perhaps afraid you will lose at the Queen Selection?"
I frown.
"Because if you do, you don't have to worry! I'm certain you will not lose! You are blessed with magic and you are ruthless and smart. Despite all of that, you are also very pretty! No one can shine brighter than you do."
I exhale in frustration. Ugh, this might be crazy, but it's about time I proceed to the second plan—jump from the heights.
I stand up from the bed and go to the balcony. My room is on the third floor. I stoop over the railings and Aiko follows me. I look at the ground. It's enough to make me dizzy. I look beyond the garden. There is a forest there. Should I just get lost in the forest instead? That way, there's no need to risk my life like this.
"My Lady?" Aiko asks. "Since General Calais is here. Should I help you dress now? He's waiting, right?"
I turn towards her so that my back is on the railing. I smile and Aiko gets confused. "If the King decreed for me to join the Queen Selection, is there no way to retract that decision?"
"I'm afraid there's none, miss."
I take another deep breath. The wind blows from behind me. That crazy Lyrica might have influenced me to even think and consider this, but I have no choice. I don't have time to think of any alternative. I lift myself and sit on the railings.
"You don't believe that I am capable of love, do you?"
"Because, my lady, you said yourself that you hate falling in love. And you promised you will never fall for someone, even if it's someone as handsome as General Calais."
"And father and the others? Will they believe me if I say that I don't want my engagement to General Calais to be broken off?"
Aiko snorts and I shift my attention to her. "If you say that, my lady, they will send you to the loony after Madame Jo."
"Then Aiko, thank you for taking care of me until now. It's nice meeting you," I say.
And before Aiko can react, I kick and push myself from the railings. I feel my body falls and I see Aiko's surprised face as she looks down at me. But instead of being concerned, there is relief and anticipation on her face.
Before I can think more about it, my back hits the ground and a searing pain makes me lose consciousness. Damn! I just hope that this won't make me die or be invalid.
******************************
The instant I notice that I am sitting in my condo unit with my family, siblings, and friends, I know I am dreaming. But it is so vivid that I wish it was true instead.
I don't like Lyrica's world even if everything is pretty in the mansion. Even if the food is delicious and even if the guys are all eye candies, I don't want to stay there any longer. I want to return.
"How was my life? Enjoying it so far?"
I turn my attention to the voice. It's Lyrica who is wearing the same clothes as I am. She's exquisite despite the permanent scowl on her face. Then, I look back at my family around me—their smiling faces and laughter. Everything is warm and gentle.
"No," I answer. "I didn't enjoy it one bit."
"Why? Marcus did not do a proper job of giving you pleasure? Or do you want to have it with General Calais instead? He's sweet despite being a prude. I tried to seduce him, but his honor is more precious than mine."
"Lyrica, the way you lived is giving me headaches now," I admit.
Lyrica moves closer to me. "Why don't you just enjoy it? Your fate is to be sent to the gallows, anyway. So, enjoy it as much as you can."
"I am planning to change your life."
Lyrica laughs. "How? My life is long gone since the first time I've heard of the prophecy."
"What prophecy?"
"The prophecy from the main church. You are playing this like a beginner," she comments.
"I am planning to give you love. Love doesn't come easy."
"And I am telling you, it's no use. Visit the church and ask for the prophecy. Then you'll know what I'm telling you about."
Then her attention goes to my family. "And that illusion, enjoy it because, in my life, you will never find this kind of love anymore. Not from my father or my siblings. Not from anyone else."
Then she makes a small smile, but it's threatening, "Be fast though. I have a lot of enemies. You'll die if you are too naïve," she says and vanishes.
I wake in the middle of the night, alone in my room. Aiko is nowhere to be found. The window is open and there is a light breeze coming into the room. The atmosphere is dreary and dark, with shadows casting over the floor and the expensive furniture. But this… It is so, so lonely. I am not used to this. When I was sick, my parents were always there to take care of me. They would hover over me, ask me what I need, and do everything to make me feel better. Ain't this just the opposite of that life?
I feel my body. I can still move my feet and arms, but my body is aching. It's just the second day and I am already in this state. Lyrica is right. This is the worst isekai play that I've seen. Instead of changing Lyrica's fate for the better, aren't I just making it worse?
I start to sniff. This is not a good life. I want to leave. Besides, why am I chosen for this, anyway? Aren't people, being sent to another world, humans who either have no hope in life or died by saving another? I'm neither of those. Tears fall. I feel dehydrated now. I am not a crier, but Lyrica's life is too much.
Suddenly, the window in my room opens, and I see a glint of a knife. I try to move, but my body won't let me. The one who breaks in walks closer to my bed, and I recognize that it's Marcus. Adrenaline rushes to my body. I don't like where this is going. I get up, but Marcus is faster. He climbs on my bed and straddles me, pulling my arms up while holding a knife to my neck.
"Let go—"
He pulls the knife closer to my neck. "Shhh, sweetheart," he purrs. "Quiet."
I glare at him. There is a smile on his face. I try to move my body but he is too heavy. I feel fear rising like an avalanche. What is he planning with that knife!?!
"I am hesitant earlier, but that look, is that real, authentic fear?" he pauses. "It is, huh! The great and marvelous Lyrica Dunnett knows how to fear, at last!"
"Get off of me…" I whisper, but I am too afraid, especially that mad glint in his eyes.
Then he notices the tears in my eyes. He lets go of my arms and touches my tears. He inspects it. "Are these fucking tears?" he asks, confused, as if it's something so foreign in my face.
I purse my lips when he leans down and licks my tears. "My! Your tears are delicious! I want to see more of it. Give me more of it!"
I haven't even thought of what he meant when he tears my nightdress off.
"Stop!" I instinctively cover my body, but it's no use. My arms can only cover as much.
"Even after all the trysts we shared, you really have a wonderful body. I hate you, but you still instill desire in me, especially with these tears."
When he loosens his pants and opens my legs wide, I forget everything, even the knife that's on my neck. I let out an ear-piercing scream that I'm sure will wake everyone in the mansion. I haven't even finished screaming when the back of his hand hits my left cheek.
I pause and tears well up in my eyes. I scream again. Marcus punches my stomach. I reel in pain and cough. He hits my other cheeks again and I feel warm liquid dripping from my nose. I'm sure it is blood.
I wail and cry. "Please, please, let me go…" I beg.
Marcus frowns and lifts my chin. "Are you Lyrica? Why are you crying like an ordinary woman? Do you think someone will come to your rescue? Everyone in this house hates you. Everyone!"
But my cries grow louder. I struggle against him. I'd rather die than suffer this treatment from him. I see a glint of hesitation in his face but then, it's replaced with an utmost hatred again.
"Whether or not you're acting, I don't care. No. It's better if you are not acting. At least you will feel what I felt the first time you forced yourself on me."
He opens my flailing legs again and situates himself between me. No, please! Somebody! Lyrica, please, give me magic! Anything so I can defend myself from him!
"Don't, please…" I am trembling now. "Please… I will give you back your servants, just please…"
Marcus smirks. The good looks are no longer present in his face, especially in the way he looks at me. "No, Lyrica. After all the things you've put me through, this is the greatest revenge I can get from you."
I feel him prodding at my entrance. I try to get away, but he's stronger. I feel nauseated and extreme repulsion wracks my being. I feel the atmosphere change. Marcus is enjoying my tear-streaked face as he pushes at my entrance. Alarm and terror darken my mind, and all I can think of is to get away from his tight grip.