Words: 82k+
Links: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13912953/1/
( The world of Pokémon is full of many strange things, but now there's an additional human physically incapable of using any Pokémon other than Bug types. At least the little bastards are cute. SI-OC. )
Chapter 1
My eyes opened to the sight of a lovely blue sky with a light smattering of clouds. The occasional bird call filled the air, and the smell of fresh air was a shock to the system after my usual habits of long-term indoor sequestering.
"Why the fuck am I outside?" I muttered.
It was somewhat nice to be outside, and despite laying on some rough ground in what seemed to be a sort of plains with the occasional tree with a town in the distance, my back did not feel like the absolute dumpster fire my posture normally makes it. Now that I think about it, my entire body felt a lot more vibrant and active than it normally did. Sitting up, I looked down at my body, and something immediately seemed wrong.
My arm hair was gone.
I am not a man with many things. Despite my admittedly large sense of greed and a splash of pride, I tended to be pretty content. But you don't fuck with a man's arm hair. Or… leg hair. Or my entire fucking body size. I froze up.
There was one, very, very important thing to check. With a trembling hand, I pulled up the white shirt with a generic Pokéball logo that I just realized I had woken up with, noticed I had fuckin abs, grasped the green gym shorts' waistband that I also had forgotten how exactly I got, and pulled up slowly.
"OH, GOD, NO!"
It was a bit of a spooky thing, being a kid again. Sure, the genitalia shrinking business was a travesty, but I got over it in about a minute. More worrisome was that there was a decent chance that I would be shoved into the school system again. Now, I don't want to say anything irrational, especially considering that I was now running on the OS of what I would guess is a 13- or 14-year-old body, but I think the worst part of being put back into the body of a kid would be to be shoved back into the bullshit of high school. Not because of the classes, or even the drama.
I just love to sleep in.
Oh.
I had neglected to move anywhere from the spot I had woken up in and was lost in my own rapid-fire self-pitying commentary that I had neglected to notice the FOOT TALL ARMORED LEECH APPROACHING ME FROM MY LEFT.
My mind going from school to full on lizard brain fight-or-flight was a beautiful thing. Unadjusted to my new kid body I scrambled rapidly away like a drunken freshman at a frat party when the cops show up. After about five feet of progress, I glanced back at the little bloodsucking cunt to see it had stopped moving and was looking at me with the most adorable resting bitch face I had ever seen.
With the initial flash of adrenaline shaken off, my memories quickly gave me a reminder that the little thing I was looking at was a picture-perfect actualization of a Venipede. You know, that fictional Pokémon.
I stared into its eyes. It stared back. I blinked. It did not.
A few more seconds of the uncomfortable stare down later and I wasn't sure what to do. It isn't exactly an easy situation to deal with, but I decided to pray, fucking pray, that this was an anime Pokémon and not a game or manga Pokémon and act accordingly.
"Er, Hello?"
The Venipede didn't start speaking or repeating chunks of its name at me, which was nice as that would have gotten old quick. Instead, it let out a strange chitter. More importantly, it didn't start running me down and attempting to poison and consume me.
"It's lovely to meet you, but, well, I'm a bit fucked in the head right now. Not sure where exactly I am or if I'm about to die. Would you kindly…. not do that?"
The Venipede looked at me intently, then nodded its head.
"Thank God. Hey buddy, mind waiting around for a minute? I've got some shit to contemplate now, before I have some sort of panic attack."
Ever the gracious lord, the Venipede nodded and did a cute little scuttle downwards into what must be a sitting position. It was fucking adorable. Now to figure out what the fuck is happening.
Alright, bullet point time.
-New body, as a kid with abs.
-Venipede
-Pokéball t-shirt
All signs point to Isekai, with side bets on coma, hallucination, or reality altering fuckery. Isekai is most likely, seeing as how visceral everything was. Of course, with that said it's entirely possible I could be knocked the fuck out and, in some coma, dreaming it.
I don't think that's how comas work, but I've heard it before. There was the thought that after reading some things about how people who have had a psychedelic spiritual experience become better people with tangible changes to their lifestyle and mental health, so maybe I had decided to go and give that a try.
But, again, this seemed too visceral. It seems the best option to head to that town I can see and check out exactly what is happening. If it's some random normal human town then I'll hide my little bug buddy and figure out what to do next. If we see an excessive amount of Pokémon merchandise or even actual Pokémon, run with it. Faking it till I made it is the best option, really.
Oh hey, a bag!
Right where I had scrambled desperately away from the purple menace now causally resting a dozen feet away from me, sat a bag. Judging by the imprint that was still on the grass, it was situated above my head, explaining why I hadn't noticed it at first. Still felt like a bit of a loon for not seeing it until now, though. Regardless, I unsteadily meandered towards the bag on my new, little legs.
Popping it open, I found an unusual, headache-causing sight. I closed it and looked at the logo. A bright, stylized "Silph Co." brightly branded on it.
Aw, shit, I had a Pokémon brand bag of holding. Opening it back up, I reached my entire arm into the medium sized backpack and began to extract my surprisingly numerous belongings. Most notable was a light green, two-person tent. I'd give the runner up prize to an official looking trainer license with the name "Nico Moore" and an image of a boy with messy, medium length coppery brown hair, brown eyes, and moderate olive-ish tan.
Checking my hair and skin tone, I concluded that this is, in fact, my new body. At least I have a consistent color scheme. Shame, I was hoping for Isekai anime looks, but at least I'm not unattractive for a kid my age, I hope. Can't have everything, I suppose.
But what I can have is a cool new name. Nico Moore, Nico Moore. I love it. It's also very convenient that I have forgotten what my actual name was, which holy shit I just realized I forgot my name, so I have an excuse to adopt it.
Other than that, I just had some food and cash lying around. Shame, no Pokéball. I packed that all right back up and committed to head over to the town.
I glanced at the lovely leech laying in my peripheral and called over, "Hey, friendly fellow. I'm heading along to the town over in the distance there. Want to come along? I ain't got a Pokéball or nothing, but you could ride on my shoulders or something if you want to be my new pal. I always wanted to be a Pokémon trainer after all."
Venipede gave me a rather piercing look which I met evenly. A moment of tense silence ensued before a decisive nod was issued. Venipede scurried over and let out a little titter before latching onto my leg and crawling up my body till it reached my head, which it dutifully rested on. If I had to guess, it would be about ten to fifteen pounds.
"Alright, lovely! I'm glad to have you on… head? Nah, that's a shitty pun. Welcome to the party!" I rubbed its head, "So, questions first. One twitter, or chirp, or whatever for no, and two for yes. Sounds good?"
I got two little chitters in response.
"Excellent! Starting off, what's your gender? Male?"
That got me a single chirp.
"A lady then. Alright I can work with that. I'm going to be honest here, even if you don't want a nickname, I'm still going to call you Veni or something, I refuse to enunciate three damn syllables every time I want to call for you. So, are you fine with a nickname?"
"Chirp Chirp."
"Excellent, naming themes. What are we feeling like today? Flowers? Deathbell is a nice purple, but entirely too long. Dahlia? How's Dahlia?"
"Chirp."
"Not Dahlia, not Dahlia… How about…"
This went on for a minute until I asked, "Alright, I feel like a fuckin weeb now, but maybe Overlord characters? Entoma is an adorable little bug like you."
"Chirp Chirp."
"Really? Lovely, lovely. There's plenty of names to choose from in Overlord for the rest I'll end up with, if I do end up with more 'mons. So, Entoma, we have places to be, worlds to end, let us depart!"
So, with a merry heart, I set out towards the quaint little town in the distance.
On my way to the town, I realized something was off. I wasn't panicking. Now it's not a particularly unusual thing for me to be unaffected by big things, I'm a very go-with-the-flow sort of person. But still, I felt almost unusually calm. I would miss my phone, my music, all the internet's entertainment. But my care for any sort of past circumstance was negligible at best. Scrambling for my memories, I realized that along with my missing name and fear, my history was lost to me.
Well, not entirely. I remember the general flowchart of my life, but any specifics involving friends or family are missing. But, again, there was a strange calmness to this. I'm a bit worried that continued focus on this may lead to a mental breakdown, but so far that isn't on the verge. Just a strange, strange calmness.
Anyways.
If I'm going to survive in the wonderful world of Pokémon, it seems probable that I'll need a nice team. I honestly got lucky with Entoma, when she gets to either Whirlipede or Scolipede she will absolutely kick ass. Whirlipede is a pretty tanky 'mon and Scolipede is a unit. We're talking Swords Dance, Earthquake, Megahorn, Aqua Tail, Iron Tail, and some 100+ attack and speed stats.
Other than Entoma's imminent apotheosis via grinding, I'll need a solid roundup. Perhaps I should just go for a Garchomp-
No.
Something just instinctively flinched in me. Why not? I mean sure, it's a bit overused, but it's incredibly-
Nope.
Metagross?
Nada.
Fucking Weedle then?
Huh, nothing happened. Whenever I suggest a Pokémon something inside me recoils at the idea of training it, but Weedle seems to not have triggered it. Is it a strength thing? Can I use Magikarp-
Nah.
Huh. Weedle is good, Magikarp is off the table. What is it? I think around a few more times, getting a similar result until I get to Genesect, which my instincts were perfectly fine with.
Wait. There is a single, distinct, commonality between these two.
Damn it.
Kakuna, Volcarona, Fortress, Pheromosa, Vespiquen. Fucking nothing. Not a mental flinch at all.
It seems I'm a bug catcher. My mind will literally not even let me consider the possibility of using a Pokémon not of the bug type. Looks like I've got more than just memory-based mind fuckery going on.
Damn.
It was honestly a lovely little town. Not in the small suburban housing way, but in the town a two-hour drive away from the capitol city kind of way. The kind of place where you know everyone knows each other, or at least there's some friendly neighbors. There's a surprisingly smooth dirt road leading into the town, where a sign proudly announces, "Welcome to Floccesy Town!"
Ah, that's where I am then. Unova, my second… third favorite region. The Pokémon design is a bit funny, but I loved it. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, and I snort it like a cocaine addict. Regardless, this place is nice, located right between the first and second gym in Black and White 2. The former champion of Union lived here in those games, though I have no idea what timeline I'm in.
Though, there's poison-type gym just a town over, and I have a poison-, and bug-, type. Fucking bug catcher instincts. I wonder if I could get some advice or something, as I'm not sure exactly how game knowledge transfers over to the real… the Pokémon world. Trans-dimensional frames of reference and terminology give me conniptions.
Back to the town, I walked down the pathway with some lovely little wood houses on it, looking all 1940s and antique. Honestly, it was a bit of a breath of fresh air after living in a modern city for most of my life.
A bit out-of-place, though, was the Pokémon center. Contrasting the small town was a colossus of a futuristic building situated in the center of the town.
Well, if there's any place I'll get some information, it'll be there.
During my short journey, the occasional couple or old man would wave or give a short greeting to me while resting on their porch. Most amusingly was a little boy no older than eight who called out to me with a southern drawl, "Hello, Sir, what's that Pokémon you have there?"
Choosing to humor him, I replied, "This lovely bug is Entoma, a Venipede. Mind saying hello, Entoma?"
"Chitter," Entoma chittered.
"Lovely meeting you, Entoma! Say, can you use some moves?" the boy questioned.
Before Entoma or the boy could continue, I interrupted, "Sorry, but I'm afraid that we've got to be getting to the Center over there, apologies."
The little boy looked a tad dismayed but acquiesced, but ultimately I knew it was better for both of us if I didn't stick around for long. I haven't the slightest on how to deal with kids. No need for me to stick around with some brat. Frankly, it's a bit off-putting to see someone, especially a kid, being so friendly. Is this the rumored southern hospitality, or just a Pokémon universe thing? Regardless, this sort of attitude outside of a job was triggering my honed trust issues in a way I rather dislike.
I made like a bug and scurried the fuck out of that situation.
"Hello, Nurse, mind pointing me in the direction of some information?"
The lovely lady in front of me was a genuine, patent pending, Nurse Joy clone- I mean sibling. It was just a Nurse Joy, and let me say, no wonder Brock was all over these chicks. The strange hoops hairstyle that the Unova Joys have is a little strange, but past that they had a lovely, heart shaped face that, possibly literally, radiated kindness and hospitality. Big sister energy to the max, it was honestly a bit scary.
She turned to me with a light smile, "Of course! There's a pc terminal over in the corner over there, some books to the left of it, video phones over by the PokéMart, a map across from the mart, and either Pokémon care or other questions can be handled by me. Though, your Venipede looks nice and healthy!"
Ah yes, this is what I was looking for. Some hospitality from a customer service rep is always more comfortable, because you know exactly why they're being nice.
I reply, "Ah thank you. I should be fine for now, but I've got some stuff I can figure out myself. Thank you!"
First thing first, we need a Pokéball for my dear Entoma. Heading to the seating area, I take my money out of the bag and count it all out. 6000 Pokédollars, that seems like a lot? Honestly, not sure about the local economy here, for all I know this could be some Vietnamese Dong situation where I can't buy an apple for that money.
The PokéMart thankfully dissuaded me of this notion. We had some generic gas station style supplies going for what was about twice what they would be going for if this were USD, but I also came from a cheap area, so who can say.
More importantly, I saw a couple Pokéballs displayed for a bit over 200 Pokédollars, I can only assume that we're operating off game prices, just with the added costs of transports to what's obviously a rarely traveled area. A quick purchase of three Pokéballs left me with about 5300 dollars in my metaphorical wallet, and I took a quick detour outside to explain to Entoma what exactly a Pokéball was and did.
"Alright, this thing here's a Pokéball. Long story short, it turns you tiny or something and leaves you in semi-stasis from what I'm guessing. Honestly, I'm not sure how they work or what they do, but long story short it's standard companionship gear. I'll just tap you with it, and it'll do its thing."
As I slowly moved the ball towards the bug buddy perched on my head, it made no noise or movement to stop me, so I gave it a little tap with the button on the front. With an admittedly spooky flash of what must be red plasma based on appearance alone, Entoma was slurped into the ball like a smoothie being devoured by a starved vegan.
The ball made no shaking or noise other than a light click, so I assumed it was an effortless capture. I let Entoma out of the ball just in front of me.
"So, girl, what would you say? Big fan of the ball or will you be sticking my skull?"
Entoma looked at me silently, tilted her head in consideration, and promptly scuttled up me before cuddling back up on my fluffy dome. I have never been happier to have a little critter cuddle up to me.
My smile nearly splitting my face, I walked back into the Pokémon center to figure out just what the fuck is happening in this wonderful land I've been unceremoniously dropped in.