4.
The next moment.
"Huhuhu."
Sylvia chuckled softly.
The moisture in her smile didn't interfere with the girlish innocence. Instead, they blended rather well.
"As soon as I realized this, I was so startled I hid the note. The fact that the Lady of Silver Lily and I were bound to the same destiny from birth, or maybe even before birth. I hid the note where that scary fact was confessed."
As if she didn't want anyone to find out.
"That's natural isn't it? This was a really alluring secret. At our social club, the young misses always laughed as they said things like [I heard this secret from my friend], [Ah, I overheard this secret from my parents] as they digested their tea— This [secret note] was different. Yes, it was completely different!"
Still, there were many young misses of the same age in the Silver Bells Social Club.
How would she be able to take this secret note away without being noticed by them?
How could she get the Lady of Silver Lily to learn of this amazing, mysterious coincidence? Young Miss Sylvia was very nervous.
"I was different from the other members of the Silver Bells. Yes, very different. Those children were just fascinated by how beautiful the Lady of Silver Lily was today, who she met and danced with, and things like that… I secretly looked for some kind of mysterious connection between the Lady of Silver Lily and I. Horoscopes, fortune, birthstone… However, that was all useless now. Our names. Because our names proved the unbreakable bond between the Lady of Silver Lily and I!"
"…"
An exciting performance was unfolding in the old yard.
The setting sun slowly crested the mountain top like an old man who was tired after walking for a long time. As the day progressed, the sun seemed to age.
Like the old sunset falling to the earth, no matter how she shouted, the maid's passionate performance on the ground would only sound like a faded tone of the past.
"I didn't care about the Imperial Law or anything like that. Ethics? Morals? Screw them. I was convinced. The Lady of Silver Lily didn't know about it yet, but I had to show this note to her. I skipped over the courtyard of daughters where the social clubs were, passed through the maze-like yard, and finally reached the hall where the Lady of Silver Lily was dancing with the gentlemen… I walked into the hall, and waited until the stupid men, who were waiting in line to hold the hand with the Lady of Silver Lily even once, had decreased." (TL: dialogue blocks like this make my eyes hurt)
I easily imagined that scene.
"Finally, at long last, I could tell the Young Miss about the secret I'd discovered…"
At that time, Sylvia, or in other words, the Lady of Golden Silk, would probably look quite dirty.
She would have run frantically all the way from the courtyard to the hall, so no matter how pretty she was, she would not have matched up with the elegant dignity expected of nobles. Even if they tried to secretly drive her out, she would have brushed them all aside, saying, 'There is something I need to show to the Lady of Silver Lily!'.
Then.
"Finally, it was my turn."
The two faced each other.
One of them was the Crown Princess appointed the title the Flower of High Society.
The other was a girl who yearned for the flower and was excited.
-What's going on?
-I, I, I, I am the Daughter of the Evanail Barony. May the Moon of Ivansia have endless glory!
-Right. What did you want to see me for, Young Miss?
The Lady of Silver Lily was exhausted.
She'd been dealing with high society since dawn. Her mother had long since disappeared. So it was the young miss herself who was tasked with playing the role of host for the Ivansia Duke Family.
Because of this, not only did she have no choice but to plan, design, manage and supervise every ball, she also had to grant the honor of reaching out to the influential children who asked to dance because of the title Flower of High Society which was given to her by His Majesty the Emperor.
While dancing in the hall, she had to be careful not to step on the other party's feet, and at the same time, she had to ensure, in real time, that the ball was going well, whether there were any issues with the orchestra's song selections, and whether there was enough food and alcohol for the guests.
In other words, despite her young age, Raviel Ivansia was already dealing with an axis of the empire. Pretty well too.
The servants of the Duke Family spread throughout the hall reported the rumors and secrets circulating to the host Lady. Classifying and interpreting this information was also the duty of the Lady of Silver Lily.
"I was so nervous, I reached out to the Lady of Silver Lily"
On the other hand.
Here was a young miss who didn't know the empire and didn't need to know the empire yet. She had just discovered a sparkling treasure. A treasure called coincidence.
The secret note was in a shabby state because it had been squeezed and crumpled in her hand so that others wouldn't notice it. It was embarrassing to place such garbage into the hands of the Lady of Silver Lily.
-However, you'll realise
What young Sylvia probably believed.
-Because, it's really amazing! I'm sure we're going to be friends!
And.
"The Lady of Silver Lily opened the secret note and looked at it for a while. Well. Now that I think about it, she probably thought it was a [secret order from an enemy country] or something like that. But I couldn't tell at all. The Lady of Silver Lily looked up at me expressionlessly."
-What is this?
"That was when I made eye contact with the Lady of Silver Lily for the first time. Do you understand? Our eyes met for the first time! Well, her face was expressionless, so it was a bit cold, but I was certain that her expression would melt like ice when she heard my explanation. So, while calming my pounding heart, I told her."
-I, that, my name…
-Your name?
-Yes! My name is Sylvia Evanail, and the Young Miss' name is Raviel Ivansia… if you split up our two names and write the letter separately… The-, they're the same.
-…
-I-, isn't it interesting? Amazing… it's really amazing… such a coincidence…
"The more I talked, uh, the more I could feel the atmosphere become heavy. I smiled awkwardly as I looked at the Young Miss' face."
-…
"Ah."
With an 'ah', Sylvia Evanail, who was dressed like a maid, lamented.
"I realized as soon as I saw those eyes. Huh, well. It wasn't even disappointment… It wasn't an expression of disinterest. How should I say it? The Lady of Silver Lily's eyes looked down at me, and in those two seconds, I felt like everything grew cold."
A feeling as if your existence was being cut off from the fingertips.
"I was just trash to her."
The Lady of Silver Lily didn't say anything to the young lady.
Without an insult, mockery, or farewell, she simply turned her back and went back to the ball.
All that was left in the place where she was standing was the crumpled note.
"…"
Sylvia Evanail smiled.
"It was something I did a lot when I was younger. Yes."
She bent down and picked up the broom.
Then she began to brush away the letters written on the ground.
"I… I'm not particularly greedy. I chimed in when the young misses around me said that the Crown Prince was handsome, but I wasn't really interested in dating or marriage. Then, I happened to catch a glimpse of the Lady of Silver Lily, and she was really beautiful."
Shuk.
The consonants and vowels drawn on the ground were engulfed in the dust and disappeared.
"I just wanted to get to know you."
"But, how could you insult someone like that?"
Sylvia shook her head.
A completely different smile from before blossomed on Sylvia's face. A poisoned flower. Sylvia's broad smile gave off a ferocious stench.
"Was the empire that important? Was it so important to collect and classify information? Were the needs to organize your family affairs, pacify the subjects, and be engaged to the Crown Prince, so important that I didn't matter?"
That.
"Then I'll prove it to you."
Was a curse.
"The Crown Prince you considered so important. I bewitched him. It was simple."
"I had a pretty face, pretty whisper, and pretty gestures, so he fell for it right away. The family that you thought were important? I asked the Crown Prince to kill a few of the Knights under the Imperial Family. His Highness the Crown Prince was so considerate to his lover…! I was so touched!"
The Lady of Golden Silk smiled softly.
"You despised me every time I did something like that. Isn't that right, Moon of Ivansia? [I never thought about the future of the empire]. Yes. Right. I never thought about the empire. However, I was curious. Something like."
Shuk.
All the letters were erased from the ground.
Stepping on the swept ground, Sylvia bowed her head politely.
"I wondered if I could ruin that disinterested face."
"Was it for the empire? For the people of the empire? For your loyalty to the royal family, your love for your family. Just that. After I broke the empire apart, plunged the people into misery, tore the royal family apart, and then dropped your family into the abyss… Would you still love the empire and your family?"
Or,
"Would you hate me even more?"
"I was curious about that."
Sylvia chuckled.
"I waited for the day when your hatred would grow deeper and stronger than your love for the empire and your family. It was regrettable. That an unseemly servant came in and ruined everything."
Sylvia glanced at me.
Behind her smile, poisonous hatred glittered in her eyes.
"…"
Raviel was silent.
The incident Sylvia was talking about was what happened in her first life.
Raviel didn't remember, and couldn't remember. My wife, the wisest person in the world, cupped her chin, deep in thought.
"I know."
So I answered instead.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know how you feel, and how painful it must have been."
Sylvia froze.
The poisonous hatred in her eyes poured out at me.
"You dare,"
The Lady of Golden Silk said.
"You dare say that."
The Lady of Golden SIlk gripped her sleeve. The crumpled sleeve created wave-like wrinkles on her clothes.
She shouted out, fiercely and hotly.
"How could you know? Do you know my wounds? Do you know how much it hurt? How much that day hurt, how painful it was, how painful it is for someone you look up to to ignore you! What bullshit are you saying, how the hell could you know?"
"I know."
I continued.
"I know it very well."
I didn't say that I didn't devote my entire life to revenge after that.
I didn't say that I at least didn't drive my entire world to destruction because of that.
Being ignored.
Being treated as if you were nothing.
Being treated like you weren't human was a poison strong enough to kill a person more than 4,000 times.
"…"
The Lady Of Golden Silk clenched her teeth.
Her teeth clenched in her closed mouth.
Then, she opened her lips again.
"If you know, then why did you interfere?"
"Your butler."
Silence fell.
"I don't know much about your butler. He may have loved you secretly, or perhaps even my wife. However, what I do know is that the life you used to sharpen your knife of revenge would never have been happy."
"…"
"The butler wished that someone would help. And Hamustra snatched up that wish. I was just dispatched as his agent. In the end, you were the one that caused that situation."
"Why was it because of me?"
"Because you didn't make your butler happy."
"…"
"There was someone who cared for you and loved you, but you ignored them. You were too focused on your own revenge. Then, at the very least, you should have been the happy one, but you couldn't even achieve that."
As a result of that.
"In reality, your butler became 'not human'."
I spoke.
"If Raviel was a bastard to you, then you were a bastard to your butler who was helping you from your side."
"…uh."
Sylvia Evanail lowered her head.
"What are you… that… the story of the butler."
In the silence, sparse words flowed.
"It's cowardly to talk about him…"
The silence deepened.
The sunset over Seosan was now dim. The streetlights in the alley came on with a whirring sound. But in the poor village, the streetlights had to try with all their might. Ja Soo-jung's old hanok, which couldn't be reached by the streetlights, remained dark.
"Sorry."
It was Raviel's voice.
"I'm sorry. Sylvia Evanail."
"And I am sorry."
Sylvia slowly raised her head. In the darkness of night, the people's shadows seemed to merge together to form outlines. A voice came from the shadows.
"What are you talking about…?"
"Even if I can't remember, that is probably what would have happened. I would have ignored you. I wouldn't have even remembered you. Because at that time, all that mattered to me were the peace of the empire and the glory of my family."
"…"
"Sorry. I was a human who didn't have any wounds yet."
Raviel got to her feet.
As she stood up, the wooden floor beneath her creaked.
Like a broken cassette.
"You took away the future promised to me. You usurped the title of Crown Princess, and monopolized the heart of the Crown Prince. The Moon of Ivansia. The Flower of High Society. The One who would Guide the Empire in the Future. All of those appointments were torn down because of you."
"So what…?"
"It made my heart bleed for the first time."
Thump.
Raviel walked over to Sylvia.
"It hurt. It really hurt. It hurt so much that I wanted to stab a knife into my chest while looking into the mirror. It was only then that I realized how many people I'd hurt."
"Then I met my love."
Raviel turned to me.
Even in the shroud of darkness, I could recognize the heat of her breath, the timing of the sound of her breathing, the eye catching scent*. She didn't speak. Without a word, she was ordering me to come closer. (*: Nose catching?)
I went to her.
"My love was suffering from the same wounds as me. A regressor. Neverendingly repeating the wounds of life. I didn't think there was someone who could share that with me."
"I was grateful to have the curse of eternal repetition."
That's right.
"Thanks to it, I was able to meet Gong-ja."
I was also grateful for regressing in life.
I was grateful.
"That was very painful."
As my Master had said, every day was pain.
"But if it weren't for those wounds, I wouldn't have recognized that my love was the same."
Thanks to that, I was able to fall in love with Raviel at first sight.
"The only reason I got hurt was to meet someone who was bleeding just like me. Gong-ja, I knew it as soon as I saw you. Sylvia, I only found him because of you."
"Thank you, Sylvia Evanail."
Slowly, Raviel.
Knelt down on one knee on the dusty ground.
And lowered her head to her maid.
"Thanks."
Ah, as expected.
As expected of Raviel… my lover.
Raviel's feelings for Sylvia were probably as intense as my feelings for Yoo Soo-ha. And yet, Raviel knelt before Sylvia.
The present moment made me so immensely happy.
I became thankful for everything that had happened in the past that made this moment possible.
"…ugh."
Sylvia grit her teeth.
"Shit… Dammit! This is why. This is why I hate you. Why do you alone get to be happy? Stay miserable! Keep being in pain! Keep weeping and crying bitterly, pathetically lamenting your misfortune! Right, fuck! Be unhappy!"
This is why, that was what Sylvia said. This is why.
"This is why I… feel like an idiot for wasting my life because of my emotions…!"
Sylvia covered her face with both hands.
"That's not right. That can't be right. My wounds are deeper, more special, more difficult to understand. So I can't forgive you, so, so—"
Like a tap that was turned off, Sylvia's voice cut away.
Silence fell.
After a moment of silence, Raviel got to her feet again as Sylvia shivered and held her breath.
"Right."
Raviel went back to the chair and sat down.
She rested her elbows on the table and placed her lovely chin back in her hands.
"Then let's figure out how we'll deal with this."
She said.