'First, let's placate my friends.'
A sneaky little bitch was trying to tear down everything I'd built.
'You think I'll let you?'
I had to skillfully pull together these wimps who got spooked by some threatening emails. But it was fine. I could do it.
As soon as I returned to the classroom, I spoke to the kids in my group.
"Hey. I know why you guys are doing this, but stop it. Why do something so hurtful between friends? Yeah? If you've got something to say, say it. If there's something you have to hear, listen. Isn't that how friends should be? Yeah?"
But their reaction was underwhelming. They didn't answer and only continued to glance at my desk.
I went to the desk.
Dozens of crumpled notes were stuffed into the drawer.
"..."
Each and every one of those notes slandered and reviled me.
'You were so happy you could die just cuz I said hi in the hallways yesterday.'
Anybody could tell that the contents were lies.
'I just lost at rock paper scissors, k? Don't get the wrong idea!'
Sentence after sentence contained nothing but malice and mockery.
While I was at the office, in that brief moment, the notes piled up like a mountain.
"Hey, bastards…"
"Heh."
Someone laughed. I whipped around toward where the laughter came from, but I couldn't tell who did it. There were too many students in the classroom.
"Who is it? Who did this to my desk, huh?!"
"I-it wasn't us," one of my friends said cautiously.
"A little while ago, someone from another class came and put all the notes there at once…"
"Another class?"
"Yeah. He wanted to tell you something—to not contact him again."
"..."
It was one of my clients. One of my customers had left the notes. I was gonna go nuts. This unknown [culprit] was not only messing with my customers but also my classmates.
"Also, Eunseo…"
"And? What?"
"On your back…"
My back?
"What's about my back?"
"Well, there's… You know."
I turned my body around. If I turned my head, I could see my back—not very well, though. Laughter echoed throughout the classroom.
"Pfft…!"
"Ha."
I bent my arms and patted my back. Crunch. I felt something.
Paper. Somebody had taped paper onto my back.
I hurriedly took off the paper to see what was written on it.
+
Official Trash of Shinseo High!!
+
The words were written in cute, round handwriting.
"..."
When was it? And who put it on? Was it already on me when the homeroom teacher called? Or did someone secretly stick it on right after I entered the classroom?
But there was no time to figure this out.
"L-let's start class…"
First period began. The math teacher, the biggest pushover at our school. My classmates, who had been chattering all this time, sat down in unison like they had decided to become model students.
'Damn.'
Inwardly, I ground my teeth.
'If I raise a fuss now, I'll only make myself look ridiculous. Should I just ditch? No. I can't. That'd be bad. They'll only gossip more if I leave. Fuck, fuck…!'
In the end, I had no choice but to sit quietly.
The people around me, snickering under their breaths. Kim Yul, looking expressionlessly down at his notebook. The class president, who entered the classroom late, excused himself to the math teacher and sat at his desk. Everyone was living life normally.
'Fuck.'
My insides churned.
It was natural that I'd be angry at the culprit. It was to be expected. But beyond that person, I felt anger toward my friends and classmates suddenly boil as well.
'Your hands are dirty, too!'
It was unfair.
'Are they seriously backing out now? Even though they mocked and beat up Kim Yul with me? It wasn't like I ever forced them to bully Kim Yul. They did that on their own.'
It was unfair.
'Who here hasn't made fun of Kim Yul? There were so many of them who begged me to show them the videos. Why are they pretending otherwise now?'
It was too unfair.
Because I 'tried.' I worked hard to achieve what others didn't. What, was it easy to bully someone deliberately? Did they think they could make an outcast into a total pariah?
'Maggot—no, goddamn leeches.'
I put in the effort.
I created a platform using the student council suggestion box. I made connections to the rich kids. While my peers studied like everyone else and lived as they were told to, I was thinking about the [future]. I made plans!
On the other hand, what did these conniving leeches do?
'They mooched off the platform I worked hard to create!'
It was the same. Because others laughed, they laughed too. Because others bullied, they bullied too. These guys, these bastards, followed only one logic.
[Because others are doing it.]
'Disgusting bastards.'
Like this, they'd feign ignorance. [Because others were doing it]. [I didn't think much about it]. [I didn't mean it like that]. Making such excuses, they would forget how they, too, enjoyed bullying Kim Yul.
'Rather than pretending not to remember, they'll really forget.'
Because their heads were no good. They were idiots. They wouldn't even remember what they said or did. What else could that be but a matter of intelligence? They were just morons who blindly followed the crowd. And they still pretended to be innocent, to be human…
'It's unfair.'
This was unfair.
'Why would I, to these inferior bastards… Why only me?'
It was unfair!
If someone who was just like the hero of a story, who had acted upright since the moment he was born, came after me, I'd understand.
But that wasn't the case.
'I bet none of them apologized to Kim Yul, even now.'
Nobody would have.
I was sure.
That was why it was unfair. It was way too unfair that these guys were just being agitated by the [culprit] and targeting me without much thought.
I didn't want to be stabbed by a knife like that! These second-rate assholes!
I was superior to them!
Buzz—
My phone vibrated in my pants pocket.
My girlfriend had texted.
+
Hwang Eunseo, what have you done?
From now on, stay away from me.
We're done.
+
"..."
Time marched on without pause.
I had no time to respond. No method popped up in my mind. The [culprit] drove me into a corner, sparing nothing. I contacted my girlfriend, but she didn't answer. Even when I went to find her during break time, she only stared at me coldly.
Just yesterday, she had smiled, saying how fun it was to be with me.
'Why…? I'm a fun guy, remember…?'
Afterwards, I couldn't even go to the bathroom properly during break time. I was afraid. What if someone else came and put a note in my desk drawer while I was gone?
'Fuck.'
Even at lunchtime, I just lay on my desk and pretended to sleep. I wasn't an idiot. There was no way my classmates would eat lunch with me in this atmosphere.
It was better to pretend to sleep instead of going down to the cafeteria and eating alone.
'Still, wouldn't one person at least offer to eat with me?' I thought, my head slammed against the desk.
'Then, I'll tell them straight away that I don't feel well today. If I refuse like that, then everyone will know. Hwang Eunseo didn't get hurt from this. He's fine. Or, maybe they'll say that I'm sulking and they need to comfort me. Yeah, I'll let everyone know like that.'
That was what would happen.
'I cared so much for these guys all this time. I treated them to meals and let them appear in videos. I even helped some of them make up when they were fighting. And… And…'
There was nothing.
Nobody invited me to the cafeteria.
"..."
The classroom, devoid of students, was quiet during lunchtime. The dismal silence at 12:45 p.m. No one was walking around in the halls. The wind blew through the window, and white curtains fluttered.
"Bastards…" I muttered as I stood up.
"You can say something, can't you? At least say something…"
Suddenly, I felt a deep sense of humiliation. Walking around unaware there was a note on my back. Being mocked by these leech-like kids. Being dumped over text. Everything was so humiliating.
"Hateful jerks. Inhumane bastards…"
I went through my classmates' desk drawers, one by one.
I snooped.
Maybe there would be evidence pointing to the culprit. Maybe there would be specific instructions hidden, like when to send me the notes, what to write in it, etc.
'God, I hope there is. Please!'
It was then.
"…Hwang Eunseo, what are you doing now?"
I jerked back in surprise. My posture was sloppy because I was looking through the desks. When I turned around, I saw four of my classmates standing at the back door of the classroom.
"Uh." I stuttered. "That's, um. Just a moment."
"A moment? A moment for what?"
"I just had to check for a moment…"
"You're rummaging through someone else's desk to check for something? Are you crazy?"
No.
"Hey, Hwang Eunseo was searching our desks!"
"What?"
That wasn't it.
"Why was he looking through other people's desks…?"
"Have you done this before?"
Listen to me.
"Wow. Gross…"
It wasn't like that.
Please, listen to me.
Someone's controlling you right now. You didn't know, right? You're being used without realizing. You need to know that. You guys, you guys have also done bad things, so we're on the same side!
The same team!
One team!
We're one team!
If you guys attack me, something really bad will happen. Seriously. Who but me will take care of you? I made the Kim Yul game just for you guys. I made you all happy. I provided you guys with entertainment. Who did? Me!
So return the favor! Fuckers!
Don't be dumb and get worked up. Just judge who's on your side! This was a conspiracy. It was slander. It was unfair. You crummy bastards! You may be stupid, but can't you tell who's an ally and who's the enemy?
Don't you have any loyalty?!
We've played well together this far. You guys also had fun tormenting Kim Yul. You used to laugh at Kim Yul and his old man, who lived in the dump and collected trash! You're all trash! Why are you trying to mutiny now?!
'It's unfair…'
The news that I had been rummaging through desks at lunchtime quickly spread to the others. Yeah, I did it. I looked through your desks. Was that such a big deal? However, my classmates seemed to think [Hwang Eunseo looking through the desks] was much more serious than [we bullied Kim Yul].
'It's so unfair…'
Those guys had laughed with me, saying, [Producer, Producer!] every day, but they betrayed me just because the culprit blackmailed them a little. How long had I been breaking my back for the happiness of the class?
'It's so unfair, I could die…'
Nothing changed after school.
At least this morning, my friends said they were sorry. They at least pretended to be sorry. But after what happened at lunchtime, the way they looked at me changed. They looked at me coldly, like I was someone they needed to kill.
'Crazy bastards.'
What did I do wrong?
It was unfair.
I felt wronged.
...
"Hwang Eunseo."
The classroom was empty after the students left.
"Sorry, but can I look for a moment?" asked the class president.
The class president was the only one who remained expressionless all day today.
"What is it…?"
"I was trying not to concern myself, but the homeroom teacher and our classmates kept talking to me about it. As class president, I need to pretend I care a bit."
"Ha…"
I couldn't even snark back at him for meddling. The class president was the first person to talk to me since lunchtime. Putting it nicely, the class president was a model student; putting it less nicely, he was a voluntary outsider. Maybe that was why he could ignore the surrounding atmosphere.
"What happened?"
"..."
Shortly, I saw a way out of this hellish situation.
'That's right. The class president.'
The class president had good grades. He was subtly adored by the teachers. Even my classmates couldn't bother the class president easily. Maybe he was born like that, but the class president had a slightly arrogant air, so it wasn't easy to talk to him.
I could turn this situation around bit by bit by winning over the class president.
"Yeah. Actually…"
Then, I talked about the unfair things that had happened to me.
Maybe I did look down on Kim Yul a little, very little. But maybe someone was jealous I was dating a rich girl, so they were spreading ridiculous rumors about me. It was unfair. It was unfair, but my classmates didn't even listen to me.
Please help.
"..."
The class president quietly listened to my grumbling, which lasted about half an hour. He didn't interrupt me. He didn't even ask questions. He just listened with the same dull attitude, and I was grateful for that.
"I see. That's what happened."
The class president nodded.
"Eunseo, I understand you feel wronged. It's a horrible situation. Sometimes, kids are cold, saying it isn't their responsibility."
"You're so right."
"But I have no way to help. Maybe…"
The class president sank into thought. He seemed to think for a long time. Though I wasn't very close to him, I could feel that he was deeply concerned. Both of us kept our mouths shut. A long time later, the class president lifted his head.
"Ah."
He slapped the desk.
"Eunseo. How about this? From what I can tell, this problem can only be resolved if you receive Kim Yul's forgiveness."
"From Kim Yul…?"
"Yes. Honestly, all the other kids are outsiders. If Kim Yul, the wronged party, forgives you, then nobody can say anything."
"..."
It was a solution that never occurred to me. But now that I heard it, it seemed right. No matter what the other kids tried to do, if Kim Yul said, [I forgive Hwang Eunseo now], they would have nothing to say.
"Uh… But…"
There was a problem.
"Will Kim Yul accept my apology? I don't think he will…"
"Don't worry. It'll be troublesome, but let's try talking to him."
The class president smiled softly.
"I'll help you, Hwang Eunseo."
It was a very kind smile.