We were in the kitchen, sitting at a table facing each other, with two cups of coffee on the table. We were talking. I do not even remember how we started talking, but this conversation was very important to me. He was my father. I needed to talk to a family member.
-Do you think that something is wrong?
I asked.He smiled
-Yes. Exactly.
He was silent for a few seconds. Then he started talking:
-Everything is fine. My family is fine, i am fine too. But
He stopped.
-But?
Always exists ,, but".
-But as if something is not, as it should be.It was as if we had missed something important.
Of course i knew what he was talking about,but i asked:
-What do you think you missed?
He looked at me and replied:
- I have no idea. But this feeling. Feeling guilty. I missed something, i forgot something
-Maybe it's not something
He looked at me and he was confused.
-What do you mean?
-Maybe it is not something, maybe it is someone.
He smiled at me
-I do not think i would forget people.
I remembered how good it was to talk to my father. He noticed that i was thinking about something and asked me:
-What are you thinking about?
- You remind me of my father.
He smiled.
- It is nice to hear that.
It was nice to talk to him,as if i had returned to the past, as if nothing had changed.Yes, it was all very nice, but i knew it would all be over soon.I had to leave before he remembered ,that i was caught breaking into his house a few days ago.
-I must to go
I said and got up.He was going to get up but i stopped him
- Do not worry. I know where the door is.
I took the bag and left the house.
I was going.I was going and thinking. Back there in my house, at the kitchen table, my father was sitting and thinking that he had forgotten something.He did not know who I was, but he knew that something was wrong. I thought about it and it was nice to understand that i did not completely disappear. They did not know about my existence, but emotions and feelings are still there.
As soon as i thought about it i realized that i have not lost everything yet. They do not know who i am, but their feelings have not changed.That turns out to be why my father had a sense of loss. Here turns out why Noah did not call the police when he found me at his home.If i spend a lot of time with them, maybe they will remember about my existence. I'm not sure this is possible, but i have to try. I have to try to get my life back.