Shin Yi felt like he is going to collapse any second if he doesn't get his body prone soon. Despite feeling so tired that he could barely stand he made his mat bed a little comfortable for the little girl joining him.
He laid down first and then patted the empty space beside him, inviting her to join him. He understood the fear the girl was feeling at having nearly lost her brother, which will explain her clinging attitude and he was willing to accommodate her.
Sa-rang was moved to tears at her brother's kind gesture that she immediately threw her body into the space without a second thought, like she was afraid that he will change his mind. She turned her body around until her back was to her brother and she felt his strong protective warmth over her as his body curved around hers.
Shin Yi felt a little discomfort sharing the tiny mat with the girl, his still healing body craves room to move, and his host body was definitely a large frame which made everything worse but he bore the discomfort just to put the girl at ease and let her know that he was here and not going anywhere.
He might have just met the girl, but like her mother he feels protective over her and will shield her from everything including getting hurt from his action.
"I am glad that you are okay, Oppa," Sa-rang whispered into the silence.
Shin Yi who was about to dose off opened his eyes to answer. "Me too," he said softly stroking the girl's tresses in a calming way.
Sa-rang turned around until she was facing her brother, their face a breath away. She had a serious look in her eyes. Even though she is still a young girl she had the rumour about what her brother did and she believes it is because he had been sad for a long time, even though she didn't know why.
"Promise me something Oppa!"
"What?" Shin Yi held the girl's gaze with his. He wondered at the seriousness in their depth but didn't say anything and just waited patiently for her to speak.
"When you are sad talk to me, so I can cheer you up," Sa-rang held her brother's eyes to let him know that she was being serious. She doesn't care what it takes she will make her brother happy so he will not try to take his life again.
Shin Yi heart broke at the fear he glimpsed in the girl's eyes. It was obvious that the little girl had been aware of her brother's struggles.
"Come here," he said softly and pulled her into his arms. Sa-rang willing went into her brother's embrace, sobbing. Shin Yi held her tenderly until she stopped crying.
"I promise I will come to you whenever I am sad," he said softly over her head. Inside he made another promise to the girl. Never to put her through the ordeal his host put her through again. He doesn't know what the future holds but as long as he is here he will do his possible best to care for his new family.
Sa-rang feeling safe in her brother's arms dozed off and Shin Yi wasn't far behind.
While asleep the nightmares of his past began to torment his dreams. The dream gods took him back to his era to the moment his beloved betrayed him. Relieving that in his dream made Shin Yi's sleep troubled and soon manifested in his reality.
His eyeballs roved around his socket underneath his eyelids, his face one of torment and pain as he relieved the pain of being betrayed by the one person that own his heart. He mumbled his pain and horror out into his reality, his body trashed around as he tried to escape the painful grips of his nightmares.
Soon his thrashing body woke the young girl sleeping very close to him. She sat up with her brown eyes heavy with sleep and noticed her brother didn't look alright. Scared that he was in pain, she shook him to wake him up.
In his nightmares Shin Yi felt someone pulling at him to return to reality. At first he tried to ignore the call. He was where his heart wants to be, in the presence of his beloved, even though it is also the most painful place for him.
For few minutes Sa-rang struggled to pull her brother out of his nightmare which terrified her so much that she began to weep.
"Oppa! Please wake up!" She cried shaking his body.
Her tearful cries finally penetrated Shin Yi's nightmares and thrust him back to reality with the name of his beloved screamed loudly into the room.
It took him a while before he realised where he was and then he heard someone sniffing beside him. It was his host sister. Seeing the girl in tears alarmed him that he quickly sat up, moving faster than a boy his size should.
"What is wrong Sa-rang?" He questioned earnestly, his tone worried.
"I was afraid, you were in so much pain and I couldn't wake you," Sa-rang wept and fell into her brother's arms.
Shin Yi sighed and held the girl in his arms.
"I am sorry for scaring you Sa-rang, I am fine it was just a nightmare," Shin Yi assured her while stroking her back gently.
Sa-rang cries slowly quietened. "Will you tell me about your nightmares?" She asked in a soft voice, raising her head to look at her brother.
A far away look appeared in Shin Yi's eyes as he recalled what his nightmare was all about. Unfortunately, it is something he can't share with the girl in his arms.
"I don't remember," he lied.
Sa-rang bought his words and nodded in understanding, believing that whatever her brother was dreaming about must have been too painful for him to remember.
"Who is Ji-hye?" She asked innocently remembering the name her brother called out when he woke up.
Shin Yi body grew stiff at the girl's question. "Where did you hear that name?" He questioned harshly startling the girl.
Sa-rang face clouded with confusion and hurt. She hadn't meant to anger her brother. "You called out her name in your sleep, she whispered softly, her big brown eyes staring at her brother with confusion.
Shin Yi forced his body to relax, it wasn't the girl's fault that his heart refuses to let go of the past even though it hurts like hell.
"It is no one," he said abruptly and got to his feet. He left the room needing to be alone, leaving the younger girl in confusion, wondering what she did wrong.
Shin made his way out of the house until he was in the courtyard. There was a pavement at the centre of the courtyard that has some food spread out in a brown weaved trays to dry. He made his way to the space not occupied by the trays and sat down.
The evening sun was out and the weather a little windy. Even though he was dressed less he couldn't feel the cold as his mind was lost in the past. He hadn't meant to yell at the little girl, but hearing Ji-hye'aname out loud brought a crushing pain to his chest and the need to lash out. Unfortunately, he did that at the wrong person.
His heart felt the guilt of his action but he couldn't bring himself to go back inside and apologise. Not yet. He wanted to wallow in his mind alone for a little while.
He was so lost in his mind that he didn't realise when he had company.
The older woman was able to have some rest which was granted to her by her son, now it is time for her to begin preparing the evening meal. They will be having some guest later on. Their neighbours coming to welcome her son home. They were very close friends to her, and their son her son's best friend.
Before she starts she decided to take in the stuff she left outside to dry under the son. When she came out she stopped short when she saw her son, and her heart sank to her stomach when she observed the sadness on his face.
She wondered at what troubles her son and how she can help him. She is so terrified of him attempting to take his life again but feels at lost on how to help him.
Bracing herself to interact with him, she called out his name.
"Shin Yi!"