Verse IV: The Child that Nobody Knows
(c)HiImFebby
"Lao Li!", the girl excitedly rushed in the direction of her father that is carrying a basket full of fish.
Lao Li put the basket down to receive a hug from his daughter. "A'Jing, you must calm down and learn to behave like a proper lady!"
A'Jing pouted at his father, "It's not like this place is populated enough to see my 'unladylike behavior', Lao Li."
Lao Li sighed and surrendered to the thought that there is no way A'Jing will let him win in this argument. A'Jing went to pick up the basket full of fish and smiled at his father with contentment in her eyes. "This will last us for the whole week, Lao Li! As expected from our old general. Lao Nian will be happy to see this." A'Jing teased him and clung to his arm like a toddler as they walk on their way home.
"Lao Nian, we are home!" called Li Jing'An to her mother who is gathering the tea leaves she let out in the sun today to dry up.
"Lao Po, did A'Jing complete her task?" Li Hutian, the retired general asked his wife. He Nian gestured to the dummy full of arrowheads stuck in the distance. "Your daughter had practiced the whole day before I sent her to fetch you near the lake." she smiled at A'Jing and A'Jing smiled back at her mother.
"Hǎo, fēicháng hǎo." said Lao Li with satisfaction.
He likes to train his only daughter in the combat skills he learned in his glory days as the Military General of the Kingdom of Lin, so that when the time comes... when they are both gone in this world, no one would dare to bully their only daughter.
General Li Hutian retired from the position thirteen years ago due to a war mishap that lead to complications in his right leg. Life was good until his enemies from the royal court expelled him from his position and stripped him of his title as a General.
In his darkest days, he met one of the late Empress Dowager's palace court ladies that were freed from the service along with the death of her master. He Nian is a fine lady with tea brewing expertise. As her life as a court lady ended, she saved enough silver beads to open a tea shop, and their fates met there.
They celebrate the second year of their meeting by welcoming their only child, Li Jing An.
She was born during the coldest night of the winter that year and was born without any signs of life. When He Nian first saw her daughter, she was lifeless. Jing'An skin was already purple, her lips black, and did not even let out a cry.
He Nian was so heartbroken and that day, she even thought of ending her life along with her dead child. She grabbed the scissors that were used by the midwife during her labor and slit her throat causing her blood to drip on her child's half-bare body.
"He Nian!" shouted Li Hutian in panic as he dashed towards his wife to throw away the sharp scissors in her hand. He was a bit late and he failed to stop his wife from injuring herself.
Hutian quickly grabbed some gauges to stop He Nian's bleeding on the neck, but she stopped him, "Let me join my child," He Nian said with eyes full of tears. She held Li Hutian's cheek with her hands covered with her blood.
"I failed you," she said gently. "I failed you as a wife and I failed you as her mother." they both glanced at little Jing'An with her wrap covered in blood.
After Jing'An's body was covered in blood, life finally showed signs. They heard her cry.
The sadness was immediately replaced with joy as they watch their firstborn stretch her small hand to reach for them.
"My child, I will name you Jing'An." Li Hutian said while wiping his tears. "Your name will always remind you of what true happiness entails and 'An that symbolizes peace."
He Nian carried her baby, with eyes still full of tears. "Hao," she said. "Peace and Happiness," she flashed a smile to Jing'An and the baby smiled back.
"You are now Li Jing'An." He Nian whispered and Li Hutian hugged her wife and child. "Li Jing'An, our child."
On that cold winter night, they found warmth in each other's company.
• • •
The sun slowly sets in the west and the two of them started to prepare dinner; Jing'An prepared the fire and Lao Nian chopped their vegetables.
Crickets loudly chirp from the forest at the back of their house and the night owls began to hoot.
Jing'An washed the big clay pot and scaled some other fish that Lao Li caught today. She sliced and tossed the carrots and cucumbers along with the homemade soy sauce, vinegar, water, and salt in the pot then covered it with the lid.
She hums a small tune and grunts in between while she transports the pot from their kitchen to the back of their house along with the other pickled vegetables that they made days earlier.
Lao Nian pulled a small kettle from the kitchen shelf and picked up some dried tea leaves from the bamboo basket full. She transferred the hot water from the big kettle to the small one and brewed some tea for Lao Li.
"Lao Li!," she called and the old man appeared carrying a small white cloth in his hands. "Sit down and have some tea while you wait for dinner."
Lao Li sat down and revealed some chrysanthemum cakes from the cloth and Jing 'An immediately detected the smell, "Cakes?!" she said and dashed towards her father.
"This child," Lao Li laughed and found Jing'An already in front of him. The girl took a piece and shoved it into her mouth before he can even notice.
The burst of flavor made Jing'An extremely delighted. The scent of the fragrant flowers combines well with the sweetness of the cake and her mother's top-tier tea is indeed a great treat.
"Where did you get these cakes, Lao Li?" asked Jing 'An and she tried to get another cake but Lao Li hit her hand. Lao Nian came and refilled the teacup of her husband and daughter.
"Old Xiao came fishing today and his wife got him snacks. She packed some for me and told me that I should bring home some to you and your mother." He told them and drank the tea after.
"No wonder you caught many fish today!" Jing 'An exclaimed and smiled playfully at Lao Li. "Seems that you got some help, old man."
"Don't tease your father," Lao Nian got up and held Jing 'An on her collar. "Come help me bring the dishes instead. I think the fish soup is ready."
Jing'An drank the tea from her cup in one go and followed her mother to the kitchen. They carefully placed the cooked dishes in front of Lao Li and Lao Nian distributed the chopsticks.
"Chīfàn ba," said Lao Nian and put a piece of bokchoy in Jing An's bowl. Their pet Dongtian went to sit at Lao Li's feet under the table. He fed him bits of carrots from the dish plate in front of them and it wagged its tail at its owner.
"Lao Li, should I join the army?" asked Jing'An in the middle of their meal causing the old man to choke on his food.
"Wait, what did you say?" stunned and shocked, he put down his chopsticks and faced Jing'An.
"Join the army. Like you, back then." his daughter proudly said and swished the chopsticks in her hand like a sword.
"A'Jing," he patted Jing An's shoulder with interval. "You are a girl. Even though you have the skills, as a woman, you just need to stay home and take care of the family." Lao Li explained but Jing'An's eyebrows furrowed, and her face showed disapproval of this statement.
She cannot succumb to this ordinary fate of women. The world is so vast. So much to explore and her burning desire to travel the world grows stronger every day.
"Diēdiē, yes I am a girl, but what makes it so different from a man? If a man can do it, well I can do it too." This thought has been hidden in her mind for a long time ago and she was glad that she finally let it out, well, partially. It was her initial plan to join the army but then she also had the foresight that Lao Li would not let her.
"Even if you can do it, the government won't." Lao Li said. "Have you ever seen a female general in the Kingdom? None. Have you seen a female soldier around? None." he paused to stare at Jing An with a somewhat worried expression.
"Lao Li," Lao Nian reached for her husband and gently patted his back.
"I know that you don't agree with this but being a soldier of the Kingdom is not for you my child," the old General stared at their walls full of his previous armor that hangs there gloriously. The sight of them makes him reminisce about his proud and younger days in which he served the previous Emperor with all of his might.
Those sturdy armors served as his companions from countless wars and saved his life from dangerous situations, "Even if it brings back my proudest moment if you become one, I will not allow it." considering the risks and hazards of being a soldier, Lao Li will not ever agree to this matter. Once is enough, and he has experienced the dangers himself.
It was a joy for him that their child is a girl. Li Hutian became a soldier after being sold as a slave to the capital. Born into a peasant family from the west Li, Li Hutian is the sixth child out of eight.
The war broke and everything was in chaos.
The smell of houses that were burnt overnight and the corpses that are starting to rot combined on the surface make the air hard to breathe.
He lost his father, his fourth brother, and his second sister. Their house was set fire while they are sleeping soundly at night, unknowingly their village will be the frontline of the ongoing battle.
"Li Peizhi, Peizhi, nǐ zài nǎ'er?" called Li Hutian's mother, but no one answered. They only heard the bustling sound of medics carrying corpses outside the county walls and cries of people, old and young.
The first brother held their crying mother and their younger siblings grabbed the hems of her skirt. Li Hutian glanced at them, hopeless, and then he decided to run out of the evacuation area to search for their father.
He ran and ran until fragments of collapsed houses bore into the flesh of his feet. Tired and hungry, he did not bother to stop until he reached their old house.
The once happy home burnt into ashes in just a short span of nighttime.
He went closer until he found something strange.
A man's hand.
Hutian collected all his strength to lift the chunks of wood that covered the body and threw it piece by piece.
Corpses had never frightened him but fear starts to creep all over his body when he saw the face of the burnt corpse. It was his father's body.
His father is dead.
Young Hutian rushed back to the evacuation house to inform his older brother, and soon, their mother heard the news and lost her mind.
War continued to break out in different regions and poverty quickly increased in number, with countless homeless families, the government doesn't know what to do anymore.
To save her family, Li Hutian's mother sold him and his third brother as a slave to a merchant family from the north of Li. They were taken as soon as their mother received the payment and since then, he never heard from her.
The two of them were treated like an animal, maltreated, and only gets to eat once a day until a eunuch saw him in the streets being publicly slapped. He and his brother were saved from the ruthless family and the old eunuch took them as godchildren.
The Eunuch named Qi Qiang taught them the things that children of their age should learn. Eunuch Qi gave them a place that once again they could call a 'home'. Li Hutian spent his days learning martial arts while his brother loves to learn calligraphy and arts. Their interest was like two opposite poles, but the old Eunuch adores them equally.
Hutian and his brother came in their ripe teenage years and Hutian decided to enter the army while his brother decided to stay in the Eunuch's house and take care of the old man.
Li Hutian passed the Imperial Army Exam and went to war in his first year of service. Though inexperience, he managed to slay dozens of enemies including the commanding general. That war has served him as the pathway to being recognized by the higher-ups.
His body gained scars due to several battles but it earned him ranks. Soon enough, he just found himself being called a "General" by his fellow soldiers.
Stationed on the border of the Kingdom, his body is already buried by half in the ground. The frontline is now his home and at any minute, enemies may attack the camps.
In the fourth year of his deployment to the borders came his most dreaded moment. They were attacked by the East Kingdom.
Scenes from his younger self flashed back. Fires, blood spills, cries, and corpses all over the place, piling up like a cairn of stones.
"Let him go!" Hutian shouted to Jin Hai, the enemy general as the man strangles his Lieutenant Fan Chonglin.
Jin Hai smiled a grim one. He ran the tip of his sword into Chonglin's chest and Hutian's gaze followed its movement.
"I said let him go!" shouted Hutian once again and Jin Hai's cold, dark eyes reflects the fire around them.
"Die," the enemy general locked his arms in Chonglin's neck and directly stabbed the helpless Lieutenant in the heart. His corpse slowly landed and echoed with a thud on the wooden floor.
"No!" Hutian's legs became weak as he stepped forward to retrieve Chonglin's body. He clenched the Lieutenant's chest to stop the bleeding but the wound is too deep to stop the blood from spilling. It dripped down the floor and reached Jin Hai's boots.
Jin Hai crouched to look at Hutian's pitiful face and laughed at the general. An unrestrained burst of laughter full of malice filled the wrecked hut.
"Don't be so sad, General Li. In a few minutes," he paused and pressed the blade of his sword into Hutian's right leg. The blade penetrated into the leather of Hutian's boots and the general shouted in pain. "You will follow your dear Lieutenant."
"Jin Hai, you devil." Hutian spitted on Jin Hai's foot as he stares into the enemy general's eye with rage and hatred.
The loss of blood from his leg wound made his vision blurry and feel dizzy. He can also hear his rapid heartbeat like the sound of several running horses and making his grip on Chonglin's chest loosen. Hutian wanted to stay awake but his body contradicted his mind and the next thing he knew, he lost consciousness.
"Die," said Jin Hai again and he can only remember the enemy general's murder face before his eyes completely shut.
• • •
"But why?" asked Jing'An.
"But why?" he paused to take a deep breath. "Because you are my only daughter and I cannot afford to lose you or see you come home with wounds and scars." He stood up to pat Jing'An's back. "The life of a soldier is not for you and that is final."
Li Hutian stood up and went directly into his room, leaving the two ladies in the dining.
"He's angry right?" asked Jing'An and her mother slightly gave a nod in response.
"He'll cool down tomorrow. Just don't mention the same matter again for the following days." Lao Nian began cleaning the bowl and transferred their leftovers to Dongtian's feed bowl.
Jing'An got up and carried the bowls to the basin full of water, and He Nian followed her.
"Lao Nian, I'll just stroll around," said Jing'An and went to grab her coat.
"Take care and don't come back late," said her mother as she arrange the newly washed bowls on the shelf.
As soon as she had her coat on and had her lamp lit, Jing'An darted outside, leaving their house and Dongtian barked when she waved him goodbye.
"Hmf," she let out an annoyed sound. "Just as I expected," and she jumped toward some stone steps in front of her that were slightly covered by a puddle.
Jing'An continued strolling until she reached the place where she gather morning dews for her mother's teas.
The evening breeze cooled her hot head and the scent of the nearby Osmanthus tree calmed her mind. She went to the medium-sized tree next to it and retrieved some things from the hole she carved in its trunk. Covered in ragged cloth, it was her self-made weapon.
Cross-bow made of wood and polished stones, knives ranging from small to medium, blades made of the random stones she picked while exploring the forest, arrows, and a slim sword.
She sat down beside the tree, grabbed a clean cloth from her pocket, and began wiping them. Fireflies flew above her and they lit the surroundings twinkling like tiny stars in the night sky.
This has been a habit ever since. Cleaning her father's old weapons in their house was a chore for her, but later on, she just found herself in a trance while doing it.
While wiping her weapons, she glanced at the sky; it was dark, as if any minute, the rain will fall down. Wolves howled from a distance but did not bother her, and just continued to wipe the blades one by one.
Jing'An finished polishing the weapons, they were now squeaky clean. She lifted the arrowhead and stared with such adoration, "Why am I so awesome?" and giggled while she wrap them back in the ragged cloth she used for packing them. The young lady got up and put the weapons again in the tree trunk and carefully hid it.
The night is getting deeper and she remembered her mother's reminder. Jing 'An decided to go home.
She lifted the small lamp and headed back to their house. While walking, she halted when a faint light escaped from above and slowly lit her path. It was the moon that was previously covered by thick night clouds.
"How beautiful," she stared at the bright white moon in the clear skies that lit the surface. Jing'An can't help herself admire the heavenly object above that stood in the middle like a master of the night.
[DOP: January 19, 2023 ]
Vocabulary
* Fēicháng hǎo - Very Good
* Chīfàn ba - Let's eat
* Diēdiē - Father (in Chinese)
* Nǐ zài nǎ'er? - Where are you?