I've been staring at the ceiling of my room since I opened my eyes
Why do you need to show mercy to them?
The conversation I had with Alexander is It still rings in my head
The hardest part, which I can't accept, is that he's right
These bastards wanted to harm Elia and ruin his life
But is it right to kill them so brutally?
My chest tightened when I thought of the bloody scenes shown on TV
But if I don't kill them, then I am the one who will be killed
Besides, I'm not the one who killed them
I covered my eyes with my hand
really? Am I trying to calm myself down with this petty excuse?
I thought of Thomas and Kepler
At first I was happy because there were people from my world who were with me
But gradually I began to realize that I knew nothing about Thomas or Kepler
What kind of person are they, what is their personality, are they really my allies?
I thought of Thomas's words to me: It's hard when you think you're surrounded by people who care about you, but in the end you find you're on your own.
Now I know the meaning of these words
I was ready to side with Kepler and Thomas against Alexander
But are they willing to stand by me if I confront Alexander?
Obviously , there are unspoken rules among them
Well, I understand why they got to this point
They don't trust each other, they don't like each other, and most likely they hate each other
However, they are forced to cooperate with each other due to being trapped inside the orb
In the eyes of Thomas and Kepler, Alexander is the person who has sufficient experience in using the Orb, and therefore the only person who can help them break free from their prison and regain their bodies.
As for Alexander, he needs the knowledge that Thomas and Kepler have about this world and the technology , because this will make it easier to obtain the power he needs.
It would be ideal for them to cooperate with each other to achieve their goals
But what can I give them?
I can't offer anything of value that makes me part of this deal
Even when I interrogated Alexander earlier, it was clear that he was giving me the answers he wanted , and not the whole truth
Thomas and Kepler listened without interfering
It is clear who they stand with
None of us are innocent
I don't know why, but I kept remembering those words
And upon thinking for a while, I began to realize what Alexander meant
Kepler and Thomas possess knowledge that no other living being has
But what if this knowledge causes them to lose their humanity and remove the moral barriers that prevent them from committing crimes in order to obtain knowledge?
Thomas often had an emotionless face
he did not object to killing Katarina and Sylvia
Only Kepler showed some emotion, he was worrying about me and trying to help me
But I can't guarantee that he won't betray me at any moment
I don't blame them, Alexander is strong, and he is the one who knows the most about the Orb
If he decides to turn against them, they will surely lose a lot
So this was just a fragile alliance, which could be destroyed at any moment, and they would become enemies
I must find a way to increase my strength, so that no one can control me
I decided to start training in my room
I'll be in big trouble if someone finds out I'm training in my room
But because of the curfew , I can't go to the training units, and if I just stay in my room, I will keep thinking about the murder of Sylvia and Katarina, and I might end up going crazy.
Even when the curfew is over, I think I will continue to practice in my room, because someone might notice the movements I am making, or the steam that comes out of my body when circulating the Vitae energy inside my body will attract the attention of others.
I am alone now, and the last thing I want is to make new enemies
Training is the best way to not think about this issue now, I need to calm myself so that I can think properly about this issue later