I took Valin's advice and the next time I saw Zaikel, which was 5 days later. I approached him to say,
"Can we talk alone?" So his entourage would catch a hint and go away. Zai smiled at me.
"Yeah sure... come to my office." He waved the people surrounding him off and I let him lead the way, once inside I closed the door behind me and said, "I'm interested in you!"
"Okay." What a dispassionate response!
"I mean... I heard you haven't had a proper relationship before..." I muttered, He tilted his head and his eyes widened slightly so he looked angry despite maintaining his smile,
"From who?" I cleared my throat and looked away from him so I could steel my nerves,
"Doesn't matter, it's just the word going around." When I glanced back at him his smile was gone and his eyes narrowed,
"What about it?" The vibe he gave off before now, was always warm and friendly so this conversation is going in an unexpected direction.
"You should probably give dating a shot... you don't know, maybe you'll feel something later... and I'm willing to be your test subject!" After my declaration, his smile returned and he laughed softly,
"Aren't you a little young to be offering yourself to me like that?" He admonished,
"I'm past the age of consent!" He snorted a bit from trying to hold in his laughter when I said this, and then I added. "You're only 4 years older than me! I looked it up." Zai's eyes met mine and he tried to stifle his laughter,
"You're bold... I do like that... but... how about in 2 years? If you feel the same way, we can date then." Two years?? That's over 700 days, it sounds like an eternity right now.
"Yeah... I can do that!" I agreed reluctantly. He smiled saying,
"Okay good, you can go now." Then he turned towards his computer screen and ignored me until I left. Should I tell Valin about this? It's technically a step forward but I also feel mildly rejected... It's probably not even worth mentioning. Plus... It feels like a weird thing to bring up to him...
This was my second mistake.
I asked Valin to meet me for coffee during my lunch break. He texted me back saying he was busy, so I was surprised when he showed up anyway and sat at my table.
"I thought you couldn't make it." I teased. Valin glanced at me and pouted,
"I said I was busy, I didn't say I wouldn't come. You need to appreciate my time more." I laughed then slid the iced macchiato, I got for him just in case, across the table.
"What do you do?" I asked. Valin has been helping me with my dance routines, encouraging me in my dating life and I still don't know much about him.
"... Mainly data analysis right now as well as looking into future investment options. Working on a few new software projects and I'm also designing a game right now..." Sounds like he has a full-time job.
"How old are you?" I had assumed we were the same age but I could be wrong.
"I'm 16." I was right...
"Why don't you go to school with me then?" His eyes met mine, just like Zai's did earlier but it felt like he was seeing through me, looking into my soul. It made me feel naked, and exposed, so I looked away.
"There's no point, there's nothing I have left to learn from school and I already own a business." Owns a business?! I wonder if he's involved in Ziren Studios much more than I originally imagined.
"Oh, I see. You're a genius huh? So maybe you can help me with my homework?" I must have imagined it but it looked like his eyes lit up at the word, homework.
"Yeah... anything you need help on." He replied while sipping his drink. Anything?! why am I blushing so much around him lately, I feel like an idiot. I shouldn't have invited him out, texting is much easier.
"I'm in Advanced Calculus so it won't be easy." Valin grinned at my warning and said,
"Do you have any work on you right now?" I told him I didn't and that it was all saved on my laptop but I invited him to my apartment. That way he could take a look. By the time we made it, I only had 30 minutes left for my break. I can't believe I'm letting someone into my home and he's not shy about looking around either. Because of the time constraint, I rushed to get the school website open and navigate to my homework page. Valin sat beside me on the couch, our shoulders touching slightly as he leaned over to look at my screen. He's making me nervous. Once I pulled up the first page of questions I expected him to be shocked by the difficulty, "Do you know how to solve this?" He asked,
"Yeah... we just started learning this formula today so it might take a while. But I can do it. Are you impressed yet?"
"The answer is \( f'(c) = 0 \) and \( f'(c) \) is undefined. Do you understand or should I review the steps in more detail?" I selected the answer he gave me on the module, to see if it was right, wow... I guess it is possible to solve this stuff mentally.
"That's cheating." He teased, "I won't give you the answer anymore." After that, he helped me through a few more questions, step by step. Focusing harder on the questions I got wrong so I could grasp the concepts better. Thirty minutes flew by so fast that I began panicking.
"I have to go!" I said, closing my laptop and standing up quickly. I had been so focused on my work that I hadn't even noticed we were practically cuddled up on the couch until I moved and noticed the absence of his body pressed against mine.
"Yeah... I'll walk you back to the studio. If you want." I looked down at him, making this offer, sitting there on my couch, looking effortlessly attractive, and I nodded rapidly. As soon as Valin stood up I kissed his cheek. He turned to me startled and I pushed through my shyness to kiss his lips. I'm tired of fawning over a guy I have to force to spend time with me, someone who won't even consider me for 2 years... Why would I wait for him when I have someone who is perfectly good at my side already? He placed his hand on the small of my back and pulled away a few inches to read my expression.
"I'm sorry... I was impulsive... I shouldn't have kissed you like that... I was just caught up in the moment." I reasoned, my racing heart making me tremble in his arms.
"It's fine... you can kiss me, whenever you want. As long as I can kiss you whenever I want." My body felt like it was on fire, with desire. We were just doing homework together... how'd it end up like this?!
"You... you've wanted to kiss me before?" I asked, being sure to flutter my eyelashes at him, just before making eye contact.
"Yeah... a few times," Valin replied, placing his free hand on my cheek and gifting me a smooch. It was not my first kiss but it felt so passionate and intense that I was seconds away from losing myself when he pulled away.
"Wow... um... okay..." I was too bashful to say anything else. Valin took my hand and intertwined our fingers as he walked me to the Studio as promised.
"See you later, Dite." I still melt whenever he says my name. I felt like I was walking on air when I went back to work, even when my manager yelled at me for returning late. Everything was wonderful until I saw a text from Valin saying, "So you proposed to my brother today?" Proposed? Oh, he means when I asked Zai out! For some reason the vibes from this text make me anxious, I almost feel like I cheated on him even though I know that's not true.
"I did ask him out, but he turned me down," I assured.
"He gave you 2 years, that's a better response than anyone else has gotten. Is that why you kissed me, because you thought he rejected you?" Would he be upset if I said yes? Putting myself in his shoes I would be upset so...
"No, I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you." After my response I didn't hear from him for the rest of the night... oh... he's mad, definitely mad. The next morning he only replied with
"Okay." and proceeded to ignore me for a week. Maybe ignore is too harsh of a term, but he replied to my texts impassively and turned down all my attempts to meet in person. I ended up ruining my manicure by biting my nails because of the stress. I was close to giving up on seeing him when I saw a glimpse of what looked like his hair in the parking garage so I rushed over. There was no mistaking it, it was Valin, standing with Zai, talking. I'm not sure what to do, should I talk to Zai... or... Valin... it's so hard to decide!
"Hey, Dite." Valin was the one to cut his conversation with his brother short and acknowledge me.
"Oh hey, you two..." It feels awkward to ask to speak to Valin alone in front of Zai... I don't want him to get the wrong idea...
"Yeah, hi." Zai greeted then Valin said,
"I'm leaving." with a frown on his face. He was making long strides towards his car so I had no choice but to chase him, even if Zai could see me.
"What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?" I inquired, holding onto the passenger side door of his car, He rolled his eyes, unlocked the doors and I rushed inside. He stayed silent even after cranking up the car and taking off, but he spoke after a few seconds on the road.
"Are you serious about my brother?" What an odd question to ask all of a sudden.
"Um... yeah," I answered. Another mistake in retrospect.
"Then act like it. Don't shift to me because I seem easier or more convenient."
"I told you that's not true," I argued and then he pulled over onto the side of the road to say,
"Don't lie to me. It pisses me off every time you do that. You lie about the dumbest s*** too. I don't understand your reasoning... do you do it to hurt me? Or do you think I'm stupid?" I looked down at my hands and fidgeted in my seat.
"I'm sorry..." He groaned as if that wasn't the response he wanted either, "I truthfully got caught up because... I was enjoying my time with you. I should have told you that I confessed to your brother but I thought... it would be best not to."
"Why?" His one-word question filled me with so much anxiety.
"I ... thought you might... um... get jealous," I admitted, making him laugh.
"Me?... I'm not jealous, I'm just mad that you spent the whole day with me and said nothing. Then I had to hear that crap from my brother. It felt like you were playing with me."
"I'm sorry! I won't... hide things from you, or lie to you again..." He sighed before saying,
"Look at me." When I did, he kissed me deep, massaging my tongue with his while gently holding my chin, next as he pulled away, Valin whispered. "That's all I wanted." He then drove me to my apartment. He must have remembered the address. My legs were trembling when I got out of the car and my beating heart made it hard to think straight, "Good night, Dite." He called from his car window. I squeaked and waved, doing my best to act unfazed,
"Night!" After shouting I ran to the entrance, then the elevator, and finally clumsily rushed into my room, and laid face down on my pillow, squealing until I could finally get my heart to relax.