"Have you ever been in a fight?" Zai asked, laying down beside me, in our usual chatting spot,
"Yes... I was sort of an outcast so in Primary school, I was targeted a lot." I answered, He tapped my arm and said,
"Lay down with me..." After I obliged he looked at the sky and asked, "Why would you be an outcast?"
"Well... my mom, was inspired by the Glass King and chose Glass as her attribute focus. Everyone felt like she was insane, and by extension, I must be insane as well." He held my hand and intertwined our fingers.
"No offense but... your mom sounds like a badass." I laughed,
"I wasn't expecting that response at all."
"It's just... she knew she'd receive backlash but did what she wanted anyway... I respect that," Zai explained,
"... Well... she also murdered my father... for trying to leave her," I admitted... He shrugged,
"It happens." His nonchalant response made me laugh again, I never thought that was a situation I could ever find humorous.
"I really... liked my dad sometimes... but..." I took a deep breath, feeling the giggles leave me as the conversation became more serious, "I don't know if I miss him... sometimes it felt like he wasn't even there. Like I was just watching him and my mother through a screen. Even his death feels fake. Not once did I really believe he loved me, so how am I supposed to feel?"
"You're asking the wrong person for advice on how you should process your feelings on death." Zai warned, "But... I don't think you HAVE to feel any kind of way... process it whatever way feels natural to you and if you ever feel distressed, I'll be there for you." His words made my heart race, though I hate to admit it. I told myself to not spend any time alone with him... so why am I here, lying in the grass with him in the middle of the night, on several occasions? Zai rolled on his side, facing me, and added, "I mean it..."
"I believe you!" I shouted,
"Good..." I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled. When I opened my eyes Zai's face was inches from mine once again "Snowe... are you attracted to me?" I felt my heart swell in my chest and struggled to hide my emotions from my face.
"What kind of question is that?" I replied awkwardly. Zai laughed and said,
"It's a yes or no question." I swallowed hard before stammering out a soft,
"No." But Zai smirked cockily as if I had admitted the opposite. He moved even closer until the tip of his nose touched mine, "You're... s-so close..." I mumbled,
"Yeah... because I have to be close to you to do this..." He replied, pressing his lips to mine fervently, I gasped, and as soon as my mouth opened his tongue slipped in. Zai's hands were on my cheeks, holding my head in place, but I made no attempts to stop him or pull away... because it'd break my heart if he really stopped. It was as if I'd eagerly been waiting for him to kiss me all this time. When the kiss ended, I looked up at him and his eyes sunk deeply into mine, he licked his lips and then hurriedly moved his mouth back to mine. I couldn't think of anything except how much I desired him in this moment so when he tugged at my clothes I undressed myself. "... You're stunning, Snowe." He whispered, looking over me with his hands running down my body, then lifting my legs up so my ankles rested on his shoulders. His words left me flustered and I pressed my hands over my mouth to keep my voice down during what happened, next... Because I couldn't let myself forget that we were still outside, it was the only rationale I had left.
I felt dirty but that didn't stop me from giving into him, over and over, through the night until the sun was starting to rise.
"Z-Zai!" The light actually brought me to my senses, so I alerted Zai who was busy sucking and kissing my inner thigh. "The sun is coming up!"
"Oh..." He gave me a satisfied grin,
"RJ is probably wondering where we are!" I shouted, and that's when he stopped smiling... as if he forgot, until now, that I belonged to someone else. I scrambled to get dressed and tottered home as quickly as I could, though staying steady was hard. When I entered the house there were two men I didn't recognize in the living room, talking to RJ. He scowled at me and said,
"You're home late..." I stammered out several sounds, attempting to make a coherent sentence then Zai entered the house after me and said,
"Hey sorry, we were talking and fell asleep outside." He explained, "Snowe had a lot of trauma to unpack, you understand, right?" RJ redirected his suspicion at Zai then sighed and said,
"Exactly why would she need to do that with you? You know what, never mind, what's done is done. Zai we need to talk... Snowe, you should go upstairs and actually get some rest." He must really trust Zai...
"Okay!" I replied, running to the bathroom first, to wash off thoroughly. I can't believe what I did... and I chose the absolute worst person to do it with... When did I become so awful?
The other 2 people in the house were RJ's other brothers. RJ explained to me how they were creating an open-world video game with advanced AI NPCs, that respond to real-time voice input. Some of it went over my head but it sounded amazing,
"Zai designed the AI," RJ explained, hearing Zai's name made my heart flutter and also re-sparked my attention. "Valin, created the code that generates the world, while I have to make sure to create the story, allowing it to be flexible, and change with the player's whims. There will be thousands of endings."
"Wow... that sounds impressive." RJ smiled at my compliment
"We just... always wanted to create a game together." He answered humbly,
"I... think I want to sleep alone today... I hope that's okay." I was worried he'd be upset but he just replied,
"Alright... when is your next day off? We should do something." My heart panicked,
"It's in 3 days," I answered, which is true...
"Sounds good... I'm gonna get some more work done and see you in the morning." Then he pecked my lips, which turned my stomach and I left the room. I need to think of some way... to tell RJ everything, it feels impossible to do without hurting him, though.
I took a shower then headed to my room and about an hour later there was a knock on my door. I assume it's RJ... maybe he wants to talk to me about something else.
"Come in," I called, but to my surprise, Zai was the one who entered the room and locked the door behind him. "What are you doing here?!"
"I ... feel like we need to have a conversation, don't you?... Don't worry, Rai put a seal on the lock, no one could get in or hear us once it's been turned." He reassured,
"I'm sorry... We shouldn't have... done ...what we did..." He sat beside me and said,
"What did we do?" I frowned and replied,
"You know! Please... don't make me say it." He shrugged,
"Fine... it was wrong... you're with my brother and I should feel guilty... but I don't... I don't regret it... do you?" He's nothing but a bad influence!
"I... don't." Zai grinned widely
"I didn't think so..."
"You should go," I muttered, then he laughed and moved his face close to mine the same as he did earlier, to ask,
"Do you want me to go?" While moving his hand up my thigh...
"N-no..." I felt like I lost my breath at his touch, and I was trembling. WHY AM I TREMBLING?!
"That's all that matters to me." He coo-ed, kissing along my neck and stroking me. Before I realized it I was on my back, tangled up with Zai all over again.
I was startled awake by my alarm for work and I was alone. So I got dressed in my uniform and met Zai downstairs as if it was just a normal day.
"Call me if you're going to be late, this time." RJ, my boyfriend, requested while kissing my forehead.
"I will," I replied, and then I hurried out the door as if I couldn't get to work fast enough. Zai kept pace with me and once we were a few blocks from the house he said,
"We should skip." I stopped walking to give him my full attention, "We don't get many chances to be alone, like this."
"But... what about the job? I thought you liked working there," Zai scoffed, then he stroked my cheek, and stared down into my soul,
"I only took it, so that I could spend time with you..." I jerked away from him,
"You... planned all this... you planned to seduce me!"
"... Well... yes but... it's only because I am hopelessly attracted to you... you are the only being in the universe who has this effect on me..." He put his hand down "Are you saying, no?" I bit my lip, debating mentally over what I should do... I know what's right... but my conscience is greatly overpowered by my lust for this man...
"I... just feel like such a bad person..." I admitted, He kissed me tenderly and smirked saying,
"Me too..." That's when he took my hand and led me away. It wasn't long before I realized he was taking me to a hotel, where we rented a room. It happened again. We spent all the time we were supposed to be at work, intimately wrapped up in one another. It was as if Zai's desire for me was a black hole, each time I thought he was satisfied, he wanted me more and more, with no sign of stopping in sight. The only thing that shut him off was my phone's alarm letting us know it was time to head back home. "I think we should tell Rai..." He said, while looking down at me, and looking like he was raring to go at it all over again but instead he got up and got dressed.
"How... do we do that?" I asked while hugging my knees...
"We'll figure it out," Zai assured. Until we were able to figure it out we met every day in the same hotel, during work hours, and on some weekends. I slept alone so he could meet me in my bedroom most nights. Zai would give me expensive gifts, like jewelry and hair accessories that I was afraid to even wear. But at some point, all the guilt was gone, and I couldn't stand to have RJ touch me so I confessed to our affair, with Zai in the room.
"You've been doing what, behind my back?!" RJ yelled after my confession, I shrunk away from him and then Zai stood in between us and said,
"I told you how I felt and you went after her anyway. I should be the one feeling betrayed." Zai argued
"She told me that she wanted ME! I wasn't trying to take anything from you!" RJ yelled back,
"Yeah, sure... the first night you slept with her you couldn't wait to rub it in my face. Maybe you're just like your father, he is YOUR blood after all." This seemed to rile RJ up, the room felt dangerously hot, then the couch caught on fire, and the TV and all the windows cracked. Wait... is that why Zai came back when he did?
"We just wanted to be clear with you... I never intended for things to go this way. You're right, I'm the one that asked to be with you, that was my mistake, I am sorry..." I chimed in, RJ's eyes cut me, I never knew he could look so cold, and I regretted ever speaking.
"I am nothing, like him. I'd always choose you, my brother, over anyone! Especially some woman who came out of nowhere..." He corrected, "In fact... I'll prove it right now. I'll show you just how little I want YOUR woman." Then he snapped his fingers and I felt all the heat in the room converge on me, fire searing my flesh.
"SNOWE!" Zai yelled, but he was too late, it was instantaneous. I couldn't even scream for help so I knew he wouldn't be able to stop me from dying.
White Rabbit: Interesting... I see the mistakes made here so... let's try again...