I remember the ringing in my ears. I was writhing in a bed but could hardly move. I opened my eyes to find a man with short brown buzz cut hair above me with hands cupping my head.
He had an expression of dull concern as I fought to keep my eyes from slowly shutting. My throat was closing with terror.
"What's your name," he spoke clearly. His eyes tried to focus on mine but his nervousness made his gaze wander off.
I shook my head trembling, trying to grasp a hold of his question. He waited for me to answer and probably noticed the confusion in my face.
"You look like an Ana," he stated bluntly, "I'm Chris."
He spoke to someone beside us and I tried to turn my head but he didn't let my head shift. I could see black ink starting to wash over my consciousness.
"Don't you dare," he dug his knuckles into my sternum. My eyes widened at the discomfort. Someone felt for my pulse. I realized my vision was like looking through really dark sunglasses. Everything was faded and slow moving. My ears were muffled and throbbing.
"It stopped-"
"What stopped-"
"Back up!"
Immense pressure was applied to my sternum repeatedly. My head felt like an expanding balloon. My extremities were starting to grow numb and I felt like ice was being placed over my skin.
I tried to focus on his face above mine, he had no expression but his hands holding my head were shaking.
Someone was placing cold gel pads on my chest.
"Clear!"
I felt like someone had dropped a boulder to my sternum; crushing in on my lungs.
It seemed like hours were falling passed my body in excruciating waves. Eventually a throbbing dull ache began to hit the inside of my ribcage.
I heard someone start to breathe heavily beside my head. His hands were soaked with sweat. I couldn't grasp the situation or why my limbs felt like lead.
"Nice try,"a voice muttered by my ear, "you're not leaving that easily."
I couldn't tell if he was furious or filled with relief. He didn't know me well enough to care enough to be thankful I pulled through.
The overwhelming white lights that hung over me were dimmed and pushed away. The unrecognizable faces began to fall out of view.
"Don't try to talk." He shot bluntly. I attempted to lift an arm but his grip fell clenched the inside of my elbow. I felt irritation get caught up in my throat. I wanted to jump out of this bed and slam a fist into his face.
He nodded at the guy by my feet as he let my head go to grab something in the room somewhere. I could tell I have adrenaline coursing through me. My muscles were tense.
Heat started to boil under my skin. My thumb wouldn't quit twitching. Lacking forethought I slammed my foot into the face of the man by my feet. I threw myself off the cot heading for the door. I smashed my body through the swinging exit and sprinted down the white halls with my shoulders hitting the walls to keep me upright.
I was clueless of my surroundings. I just need anywhere but here. The manager wasn't far behind me. My eyes began to see multiple duplicates of doors therefore I was having to guess which door to enter.
I stumbled outside into pouring rain immediately drenching me. My ears rang and my head was in lacerating pain. My bare feet found rocky wet cement and puddles but I didn't slow down. I was in a white and gray nightgown, my hair was a mess, whipping in the wind.
I could see that I was headed towards an empty sod field. Just hills of grass covered emptiness. I shifted my head slightly and saw a bald man in a white lab coat by the cement complex watching me. He didn't even bother to come after me.
I felt as if the world around me moved in slow motion since everything looked the same. I couldn't tell how far I've sprinted. My legs were on fire and began to tremble. My head spun and the ground under me tipped vertically. Seconds later, arms wrapped around me and laid me down to the grass.
I tried to throw punches and I struggled against hands that were trying to help me.
He didn't fight me, he just lifted his hands away and put them into the air so I could see them, "let me help."
"You're killing me," I recklessly stumbled to my feet with my hands on my knees. My hair was heavy and sticking to the sides of my face.
"That isn't my intention," he spoke under his breath.
"What is your intention," I spoke hoarsely as I was sweating in the rain. I shook violently, freezing cold.
He paused before answering, "I can't tell you that," He stood up looking down at me. His eyes were emotionless but his voice was calm and low.
I didn't know how to take his words so I turned my back to him. I stared at the black and grey cube building I had escaped.
"I trust you when I shouldn't," I growled tiredly. He took my arm and dragged it across his shoulders as we headed back. I suppose this was to be my life and I should find my place inside his world. This invisible endless community.
Accepting that I'll be watching those who I work with die, that is if I don't, before I knew it the door I exited swung back open and the white fluorescent lights blinded me.
I caught a glimpse of that bald man with the white lab coat disappearing around the corner.