Vexing: To cause annoyance, frustration or worry.
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I string my bow and flexibly prepare to strike a rabbit, which I will use for tonight's dinner. Until a woman with skin like the moon appears cradling my family's would be dinner.
I follow her, the snow crunching under my shoes as I curiously watch.
"I— " I begin to raise my voice to say, but it might be better I don't talk.
She hobbles away with the bunny in her arms
[Is she hurt?]
"Are you okay?" I ask.
She turns around to face me and looks surprised.
I put down my bow and raise my hands so that she can see them.
From here I can see that she is a woman with brown hair and pale skin, she is wearing a pinkish red winter gown. Her feet are around 7.5 cm, I could imagine little clubbed stumps inside of the shoes she is wearing.
She scoffs at my silhouette and begins to hobble away.
I could never imagine how she managed to chase after the bunny.
She stumbles and falls onto the ground.
I run after her. Women with clubbed feet should have a chair to sit on or someone to carry them and keep the weight off of their feet.
I remember helping the woman who was born with one foot she was in pain when walking and couldn't get much work done. She calls for me to help her sometimes still.
Pulling her into my arms she looks around my age. Hopefully my parents would know what to do to help.
---
"Ma! Help!" I yell running into the courtyard of my home. "This girl collapsed."
My mother looks surprised to see me.
"I thought you would be a bit longer." She answers, looking away from the village elder when she answers and what looks to be a general. "Was your hunt unsuccessful?" She asks changing the topic.
Something is obviously making her feel anxious, but I won't pry.
"Quite so, there will be no fresh meat for dinner. Also this girl might need some help, she passed out and I don't think she is doing okay." I readjust my hold on her. Her bunny is sitting in the cage on my back.
"Young man, she can wait. We have much more important matters to talk about, like your marriage." The elder says.
[Tch, such an arrogant soul he his... No, respect your ancestors Shen]
I furrow my brows and carry the possibly dying girl into the house.
He always seemed to have it out for me. My parents told me he was like that ever since I was born. And being old doesn't help either.
The fading conversation of said people discuss of my marriage and who I should marry to, while the other says that I should be conscripted to the Navy of the Song empire.
In other-words, a whole lot of bull, but it's normal that parents organize the weddings of their children. I just didn't expect my time would come so soon.
I place her down onto a futon and get out my salts and kneel nearby.
"This should work. How's this smell?" I ask.
She sits up quickly and begins to cough.
"It smells like piss!" She wails pushing my hand away.
"Good, you are awake." I say placing the salts into their case.
Her eyes open slowly as she takes in her surroundings and she looks at me with curious eyes.
I note that her eyes are a strange shade of blue.
"Are you alright?" I ask.
She fixes her posture. A smile spreads on her face.
"Handsome." She gasps in awe, "Wait you are the hunter? You are dressed up a bit like him." I ignore her muttering and stand up.
I would ask about her feet, but I decided to keep my thoughts to myself.
"Since you are better, you may go now or you can choose to stay and relax and then leave. Bye." I explain standing at the door.
"Is there anything I can get you?" I force myself to ask just as I was about to walk out of the doorway.
"Some water please." She says.
"Okay. Your bunny is next to you. Please keep a better watch on your pet, or it would have became tonight's dinner." I close the door and head over to the well to get water for her.
This time my father has entered the scene and they are yelling.
"I will not have my child join the army, he's so young! What would a thirteen year old boy do there!" My mother screams.
"Foolish woman, is it not the lives of men that guarantee your safety! Younger men are better on the war front. It isn't like your husband can go." The general argues back.
"He can get married, I don't see a problem in trying to have your family grow. This way he is leaving something behind if he. . . unfortunately dies." The elder says. "He will be fourteen this month won't he? Then the next year and the next year will pass—"
"My son is gay, marriage is out of the question." My father says.
I slap my forehead, as if that will deter the elder from putting in action whatever stupid plan he has.
"How about this, if he isn't married and expecting a child from his wife in 2 years the Navy will take him. Then you can't complain about him being young. And if he is still gay as you say, he can use that energy for the Navy. It would be a great honor for the Gao family to have him do service." The general says.
"Papa," Wait a minute, I know this voice.
I stand holding the cup and watching the girl hobbling outside to the general's side. I am pretty pissed off as it is; everything seems wrong.
[Have I done something wrong in my past life? Maybe I was one of those terrible Jurchen's who are trying to take over the Song empire that I keep hearing about. Did I not pray hard enough last night?]
"He may be a good soldier in his future, but I have heard from the women that he never gets sick, has remarkable strength and good looks." The girl says. "Such a man isn't made to die so early in the military."
People say that about me? They aren't wrong I guess, but still.
I steady myself to run as the conversation sends to a place, I don't want it to lead.
"Is this true?" The solider beside the general asks.
The general doesn't seem to want to answer. Instead looks to my parents for confirmation.
My parents were silent.
The village elder breaks said silence by ratting me out.
"Quite so, the healthiest baby this area has ever seen. He can even drag oxen with his bare hands." The elder boasts.
[Curse you old man]
I furrow my brow and hide behind a tree.
"Well if he is that great—" The soldiers next to the general starts.
"That will be enough." The general's hand rose and a tight side glance shuts up the soldier next to him. His full attention was on the girl.
"Sorry to interrupt your conversation papa. But wouldn't such a great man spawn many healthy children? Think of the blessing a child would have, had their father been he." The girl begins to have spouts of verbal diarrhea.
"Are you alluding to the fact that you wish to marry him?" The general asks, who I assume is her father.
"Yes. He saved me when I fell in the woods. He is tender and gentle for a man."
[Please village elder be on my side and say no. Please, for once in my life help me.]
He turns around quickly and spots me from my place by the tree. An evil smile spreads across his face.
I doubt he would have been able to know I am here. Surely he must have some evil powers.
"You were the girl he was carrying Ms. Pei?" The elder asks looking at her. After receiving her physical confirmation, he responds.
"Well, such strokes of luck are too great with said family who knows, maybe they born a witch—" The elder begins.
"A marriage shall be in order." Interjects her father clapping his hands together.
"To believe my daughter can have such a strong husband. The fate of the Song Empire will be saved." The general then takes the hands of my father and drags him to make a deal on the marriage agreement.
__________________________________
Now tell me why I am in bed with her on our wedding night? How do I tell her I don't know how to get her to conceive??
My birthday passed 7 months ago.
This woman is Pei Ling (配令) She is older than me by a year. I am expected to have a child with her, preferably a son.
She removed her shoes. Making my best stoic face, I try to keep myself from having a negative reaction.
"What happened to your feet? Is this why you can't walk?" I ask grabbing her now exposed feet. The winding fabric spirals up her feet and lower leg.
"Ow, be gentler." She says swatting my hands away. "All it is is foot bindings. My mother said beauty is pain, to maintain the affections of men we must dress to impress them." She flinches and grips her red gown.
She pushes me down onto the bed.
"Look at you, you already have me rambling on." She says starting to take off my clothes.
I put a hand to my chest and hold my clothes to my body.
My parents have warned me not to let her see me naked and handed me a blindfold covered in a sleeping agent so that we didn't have to do anything that night, but she will feel as if she has.
This is the one thing I can do to stave off the inevitable action of removing my clothes.
I flip the girl over and put the blindfold over her eyes.
When I sensed she was asleep, I sat down and prayed.
"Dear Goddess, please help me, my soul weeps for the sadness in my heart. My problems now have problems. May my wife new Pei Ling find herself pregnant. I know I don't usually ask for things. But for my sake and my parents, please assist me."
This bet takes my life too. I don't think I can make it.
When morning came, I woke to Pei Ling wailing as she stood by the side of the wedding bed prepared for us. She pulls off the blindfold and watching her struggle to her still wrapped feet.
She gave up half way puking on the floor.
From there, I made it of upmost importance to remove those damned bands from her feet.
I rub her back as she sits there suffering, trembling from recently vomiting.
"It is settled. Those have to come off." I point at her feet.
She grabbed her feet and pulled them away from me.
"Foolishness." She says.
She begins to hobble away angrilly.
[I will not allow my wife to hobble like that. How would she stand when the time comes and she is pregnant and heavy? I heard from my mother that it was hard for her to walk when she was going to have me.]
"Dear Goddess, lead me to do right." I groan looking down at the mess on my floor. "I have to clean that don't I?" I frown.
-----------------
After cleaning the mess, I sigh and take the messy rag to be dealt with outside to do the laundry.
My sleeves are pulled up to keep them from getting wet. The fabric from the bedroom that needs to be washed to aid it keeping some bad air out and keeping up appearances. I pride myself on being neat and my parents are proud that I am a tidy boy.
I walk into my room and open the window to let the air out and let good air flow from the sun down into my room.
"Good morning gods. I will leave me in your care." I say smiling to nothing in particular.
I see a hand waving at me from the courtyard.
"Isn't it a bit too early to get hit on by the local women?" I mutter to myself and any god listening. The local women had gathered by my gate.
The women all thought I would get together with that woman.
Mao Wenrou (冇温柔) of the Mao family. That woman's family begged me to marry her. Sure she is beautiful, however her mother Mao Ri Xiang (冇日享) and her father Mao Bei (冇备) have the misfortune of being named by her psycopath of a grandfather (老冇) who loves chaos.
I would never dare say that her old father is an idiot for naming her because he is already an idiot, I would say this started farther back with his father, an old man that tormented my parents as well when they were growing up. But he is long gone and left behind a new enemy. May the older grandfather rest peacefully.
I notice her immediately when I see the curly hair in the crowd of women, she seemed distressed, wanting to talk to me, she urges me to come closer.
[Wenrou, I would marry you if I could and change your misfortunate name, but your family and mine would clash. Your great-grandfather would be rolling in his grave.]
My glare finds Pei Ling walking towards the women gathering at the gate. I wince with each step she takes and roll my eyes. Surely, she wouldn't do anything stupid. She isn't the jealous type.
That being said, I have no clue how she acts around other women.
I was wrong. Poor A-Mei, A-Liang and A-Xin were cruelly pummeled by said woman who "wouldn't do anything stupid."
I dash outside and run towards the altercation.
"Lady Pei what are you doing?" I grab her arm.
"Let go, I am not done with her. Out of my way!" She screeches trying to throw me off.
I am surprised at the force she was using judging how she seemed pretty fragile when we first met.
"Why are you attacking these women? I ask.
She glares at me.
"I saw you looking at them. Which one is it?" She gives me the face of a woman gone mad. "Who planned this?"
Without a thought I grab said wild woman and throw her over my shoulder.
"We got married just yesterday. Why can't I look at other people? You surely can't be that insecure." I whisper to her. "Perks of living in the palace?"
"I'll have you know that I was almost a concubine!" She whisper yells back.
"Yep palace."
"I am so sorry ladies. It seems my wife has been disrespectful to you." I reassure the women and take my wife tighter in my arms.
"What is such an untamed woman doing by your side? Perhaps having a quieter wife would be your style?" The soft spoken Li Hua Li (李花丽) says.
Her words get me to turn around. Pei Ling was grumbling on my shoulder and scoffs at Hua Li's words.
Fortunately, her pride allows her to hold her tongue to save face.
She out of all the women in the village is the one known for her looks.
She was soft and lady-like, many men talked about her and told me to stay away from her unless I wanted to die. But they were just drunks who were all two times her age, those old men have no chance with her seeing how she is now.
Her soft pale face was covered halfway with a fan, compared to the rest of the women her complexion was quite the rival to Pei Ling's. Ms. Li has soft facial features and black hair like the night making her fair complexion fairer. The purple colored fabric she is wearing is a soft purple bringing attention to her delicate hands which peek through the monotone purple dress and wrapped graciously around her fan.
I am now stuck between three women who all wish to be around me and I doubt Pei Ling will not get angry again with a woman like this getting close to me.
I just want them to all be friends, hopefully Lady Pei has someone to know other than me and my family.
"I think that Young Master Gao has great prospects. He cares so much for us women and taking care of us. Thank you for your help Young Master Gao." Hua Li bows to me and the other women follow in suit.
On today's list of surprises we have the quiet Hua Li leading a crowd.
"I have come to work for Mr. Gao to repay him for his kindness." Hua Li says. "I wish to serve you well in anyway you may need me." She looks up at me and enters the courtyard to address my parents.
I am unsure why she came alone seeing as her mother is still alive. Ms. Mao also runs into the courtyard after Hua Li. The two of them bow before my parents and kneel.
This could be the start of the best thing that has ever happened to me, or the start of the worst part of my life.
I sit and gracefully balance on my heels.
Pei Ling follows in suit, wincing as she lowered herself to the floor. I don't even know why she followed me down to the floor.
My best friends will be jealous. I don't want to get beat up tomorrow.
The two women stand finally and I remove myself from my kneel to talk to my parents.
"So what happened?" I know I probably shouldn't speak in front of Pei Ling about what they may be talking about. Nothing, good comes from an angry woman as I have heard.
"The two women came asking to be your consorts." My father says, "My son, being good with women. How could such a thing happen under my watch?" He sounded scared but his face retained his usual stoic grimace.
"And that is all?" I ask.
"Quite so, I fear this may be the guise of evil soon to peak through. May the gods …. help us. Make sure you pray A-Shen. The gods have been watching you since you were born. You are a miracle given to our family. You must stay safe." My mother says, rubbing my head.
Mao Wenrou walks up to us and tells us about the knocks on the front door.
"And that should be the doctor we sent for." I say pointing.
It is when my parents leave the room do I hear the squeaks of Pei Ling who has been unable to stand up.
"Need help?" I ask looking down at her small figure.
"No, I have got it." She says swatting my hand away. She seems calmer now.
"If you say so."
.....
The doctor checks her.
"It seems she is pregnant." The doctor says confused.
The house maid tiptoes into the room to deliver the tea and quickly scurries away.
She is getting old, now in her fourties, she has lived for a long time, she told me when I was younger that she must stay due to holding a big secret. She became my parent's servant at thirteen and assisted them for as long as I have known.
I wonder what that secret was.
I had only left the room for a few minutes before returning again from my urination break. And it seems Pei Ling took it upon herself to antagonize my brand new consorts (lesser wives).
"Remember I am the wife, stay out of my way peasant." She spits.
Mao Wenrou, tired of her bull, frowns, "I may not be of high birth, however at least I know when to keep my tongue." She turns her chin and struts away pouting, Li Hua Li following close behind.
"Such low borns, what type of woman doesn't bind her feet?" She hissed.
"Again?" I ask exasperated. I press my hand to my face. "You should be taking it easy if your are pregnant, especially when you over-excite yourself so much."
"Hmph," She grunts.
I don't think I can stand this anymore.