As soon as I finished writing, I dropped my pencil and looked out the window to see the orange sky as the sun started to rise. I walked out of the room to get some fresh air and see the rising sun and the blue sea.
As I stood there, I wondered what must be happening all around the world. Jas is probably getting ready for work and taking care of her poodle, Buddy. Director Forster was probably already giving the order to start a manhunt for me in T.H.E.P.A., if he hasn't done that already. As I thought about them, my thoughts went to three people: May, Clair, Audrey, and Jas. I started to wonder, what if things went differently with them.
What if Clair never died? What if we were able to stop Chase, what would be of us right now? Would she still be in prison, or would she be out there, starting a new life, or continuing her old one? And would I be there with her?
What if Audrey was never blackmailed by Chase? Would she be on this mission with me? Would there have been a mission for me to go to? Would Veronica have said yes?
What if I didn't get May killed? Would she have helped Audrey and I in Korea? Would she be on this mission with me?
What if I didn't mess up with Jas? What if I was where I was: with her. Would she have said yes? What if I never broke her heart?
What if I never brought pain and catastrophe to any of their lives?
That last question stuck to me. It was then that I realized who I was. Who I really was. I'm not the savior I hoped to be. I'm not the force of nature that people hope to see. The one that would save them and make their lives happier. I'm the one who brings pain, sadness, and problems to their lives. The breaker of hearts and the harbinger of death. This is who I am, and it is no wonder that right now, I am what I will always be.
Alone.