As they ate dinner together, only the clanking of cutleries could be heard.
Bella was getting uncomfortable with the thick silence that persisted in the dining room like a deadly virus. It was becoming awkward, especially when only the thoughts about him kept popping in her head. She couldn't understand why she couldn't stop thinking about him. It was not good for her health. As she peeked at him from underneath her lashes, she saw that he had his whole attention on his plate of food, with a slight frown adorning his as if he had an unpleasant thought going on in his head. She wondered what it could be.
What was he thinking, was his thoughts about her too? She seemed to have forgotten that she was blatantly staring until he looked in her direction, seeming to have felt her eyes on him, and their eyes met. Her eyes widened in surprise before she quickly looked away. She directed her gaze to her plate of food, chewing down on her lower lip. When she still felt his gaze on her after a while, she began to wonder when he'd stop staring. It was uncomfortable.
The silence became even more awkward and tense when they both reached for the jug of orange juice at the same time. Bella was the first to retrieve her hand as though his touch had burned her. The warmth of his large, but not overly large, callous hand on hers, sent a shocking wave of sensations down her spine. Her breathing pattern increased when she felt his gaze on her again. What was up with him and staring? She didn't dare look his way.
A minute or two later after that bundle of awkwardness, Jackson got up to his feet, about to leave, but she stopped him.
"Wait!" She practically screamed. He looked down at her with a questioning brow up. His whole facial expression spelled 'bored'. Having him look down on her like that made her feel small, and she didn't like it one bit. She nibbled softly on her lower lip, contemplating what to say. Why did she stop him from leaving?
"Please, sit." She gestured towards the chair he had been occupying not long ago, hoping that he'd listen to her. Jackson contemplated whether to sit or not, before finally sitting back down with his attention not fixed on her.
"I know you're not happy with the fact that you were forced to take me as your wife," She did her best to swallow down her building nerves when his eyes narrowed at her. She also made sure not to make eye contact, keeping her gaze on his chest, and sometimes moving it to stare at his neat dreadlocks. It looked inviting, and she wanted to know what it would feel like in her grasp. Shaking her head to rid herself of the distracting thought, she continued:
"Trust me, I'm not jumping for joy either." She cleared her throat, trying to sound tough. His unwavering gaze unnerved her.
"I doubt that." His spine-chilling, heart-melting voice said with a scoff.
"What I'm trying to say is that, even if we can't live like married couples, we could try to become friends. We can't keep on living like enemies, it will only make things unbearable." She reasoned out, completely ignoring his crude remark.
She then turned her gaze to meet his intense one, but averted it immediately, and a low chuckle escaped his lips. Bella thought that the sound of his chuckle had to be the most beautiful of sounds that she had ever heard.
"You want to be friends with a man you can't even look in the eyes? How brave." He hummed.
"Get ready, we will be traveling in a week's time." He stood to his feet, ready to leave.
"Where to?" Bella called out, but the silence was what greeted her.
"Well, Bella, welcome to a life where you're married to a snub." She sighed out loud. "But where are we traveling to though?" She murmured.
*
Bella tried to not cross paths with Jackson frequently these past six days by barely going out of her room. She only went out of her room to cook, and as for eating, she did that in her haven; her room. Arinze kept her company whenever she felt bored, talking about the city life, and how she had been opportune to experience it once when she visited her Aunt who lived in Lagos.
"I don't know where we would be traveling to tomorrow, and it's eating me up," Bella whined in a complaint to Arinze who was staring sympathetically at her. Ella was frustrated. Like, why wouldn't Jackson just open his mouth to tell her where they would be traveling to? Was it that hard, or was he planning on getting rid of her? The thought made Bella shiver in fear. He wouldn't do that, no he wouldn't.
"Why don't you just ask the prince?" Arinze shrugged
"I already did, but he wouldn't give me an answer. That man is snobbish and a handful. If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to avoid him." She mumbled in a frustrated tone. He never spoke to her except he thought it necessary. He was a total snub. Oh she did try talking to him, but he never replied. He was either on his phone or pretending to be busy just to get her off his back.
"I don't know if he's ever going to see me as his wife. I mean, I didn't have a say in our union just as much as he didn't. I can't help but think that he blames me. It's not like I imposed this on him. The least he could do for us is try to make it bearable." Ella stated sadly. She and Arinze had clicked quickly and had grown close, enough for her to pour her heart out to her. She didn't know how, but maybe it was her ability to make friends easily, her bubbly nature, or even the fact that there was no one else to talk to without feeling like she was dragging the Prince's name in the mud because Arinze so happened to have high respect for him, she was always standing up for him. Always.
"Don't worry, he would come around. Trust me, he's not a bad person." And here we go again, Ella thought, letting her body fall back on the bed, before letting out a loud sigh.
*
"We're leaving in five, be ready," Jackson stated dryly as he brushed past Ella by the doorway into the kitchen. She couldn't help but take in the sweet smell of his mild but intoxicating cologne. Why did she derive so much pleasure in inhaling it? If he would let her, she would bury her face in the curve of his neck and drag in deep breaths greedily. Shaking her head to rid herself of the thoughts which couldn't be called improper because he was her husband, she stared in a daze at his Adam's apple that moved up and down as he gulped down the cold milk he had poured out for himself in a glass cup.
"What are you staring at?" The harshness of his voice had her eyes snapping up to stare at him sheepishly. The disgust in his eyes could not be missed. He had one arrogant brow lifted in askance as he regarded her, waiting for an explanation as to what she was staring at.
She gulped slowly, deciding to not respond. "I told you that we would be leaving in five, what are you still doing, standing there and staring?" He asked heatedly which made her heart race in slight fear, but she forced herself to remain calm and unaffected.
"I was wondering where we would be traveling to." She stated with a small frown on her face. Chewing down on her bottom lip, she stared in his general direction, waiting for his reply.
"Stop doing that." He grunted out, and her frown only deepened. "What?" she asked cluelessly.
"Stop chewing on your lip, it's gross." He grumbled before putting his cup down on the counter and making his way towards her or more like out of the kitchen. She scrambled about to get out of his way as he neared, only for him to come to a stop in front of her. He reached for her lip between her teeth, and tugged at it, causing her to let it go. She was in a state of shock as she stared wide-eyed at him. That was the first time he was actually willingly touching her, even if it was because he felt grossed out by her action. That unexpected act of his, made her heart flutter in her chest, and butterflies flew around in her stomach. Did it mean progress? Was he finally coming to terms with the marriage?
"I told you it's gross when you bite your lip. Or do you think that you look good when you do it?" He scoffed out a humorless laugh.
"You look nothing close to good when you do it, it just makes you seem even more unattractive in my eyes." He leaned in closer to a wide-eyed Ella, practically leaning into the door frame and invading her personal space. He took a firm hold of her chin and tilted her head up to look at him.
"It's a habit, I don't even know when I do it." She defended.
"You're unattractive, you know that right?" He asked staring all over her face, deeply unnerving her. She felt insecure. He could see every little flaw. How could she not have known that he saw her as unattractive? She could agree she was not the finest out there, but she couldn't call herself unattractive.
"I'm not unattractive." She stated defiantly, trying to free herself from his firm hold on her chin, but his hold only seemed to tighten, making her wince out in pain. The look on his face was that of hate and disgust.
"Feed your brain whatever lame bullshit you want to!" He snapped.
"You're-, you're hurting me!" She cried out with her hands pulling at his hand which was tightly gripping her chin. His hold on her loosened up gradually until he finally let go. Bella massaged her chin gently, wincing at the lingering pain.
"I promise to make your life a living hell. You would regret not fighting against this union as much as I did, because if you had, we wouldn't be here, having this very unnecessary conversation." He gritted out. The look in his eyes promised her hell.
Ella on the other hand, glared up at him in anger. She was angry, but couldn't ignore that unfamiliar feeling of fear creeping towards her heart. "I am not the one to blame. I didn't fight against it, I agree, but that's because I didn't see the need to fight the inevitable." She countered.
"No amount of fighting would have stopped the union from happening." She cried out desperately, when he just continued to stare at her blankly, not saying a word. She needed him to believe her and stop blaming her unnecessarily. Staring straight into his eyes with her now pleading ones, she was forced to lower her gaze to his chest when his gaze got too intense for her to hold.
"Go get your things, we're leaving. Now." His tone left no room for argument as he walked past her. Bella crumpled to the floor in a heap. She had never felt so drained, both physically and mentally.
"He'll come around, she said." She murmured.
"He's not a bad person, she said." She chuckled bitterly, massaging the muscles of her aching chin. She couldn't help the tears that gathered in her eyes. She tried her very best possible to stop them from falling, but it was impossible. She usually found it extra hard to cry, but his tactics seemed to work like magic on her because since when she met him, all she felt like doing was crying and pulling at her hair in frustration.
He always managed to make her feel stupid and worthless. He always made her feel like she wasn't worth his 'precious' time. Such a joke he was, she thought.
He alwayss managed to make her feel insecure, and she never felt like that before. Everyone around her always showered her with praises. They never seized talking about how beautiful she was, but here he was, calling her unattractive. She almost believed him. The keyword there is 'almost'. She was beautiful and she knew it.
No one could tell her otherwise. No one could put unnecessary doubt in her heart.