Rargnes regained sight of the training field, where people continued to debate. No one else remembered the selection, and as if to deny the absence of children and the elderly — their inevitable deaths, but worse, that they forgot about them — the conversations grew louder.
The doctors near Heze were furious, yelling at others, insisting it wasn't possible—that the system had either killed them afterward or simply transported them elsewhere for a fairer test. It soon became necessary to separate some soldiers and doctors. Those who did, their direct superiors, seemed hesitant about their words, and it suddenly occurred to Rargnes that everyone, regardless of their factions, reacted more or less vehemently depending on their energy levels.
It was as if those with less energy couldn't imagine a situation where they had forgotten, where they had been wrong, as if they were even more under the system's control. 'The religions spoke of the transmission of energy after death and glorified the possession of energy necessary to probe the king's intentions, allowing one to distinguish and not waste energy to the benefit of demons...'
At this thought, Rargnes shivered. If the system could make him forget the selection, what about his past lives? He felt a chilling horror develop from his heart, passing through his entire body and returning.
A comforting voice echoed in his mind.
'Come on, there's no need to be afraid. You've survived so far, just like Heze. We often imagine much worse scenarios than exist. You were a dead-to-be man before the apocalypse, so why does it matter?'
Rargnes let out a nervous laugh.
'And what can I do? People got their strength from the system. Firearms don't work against it. We won't ever defeat it and free ourselves.'
'The goal has never been to defeat it. As long as you gain strength, all the answers will naturally come.'
That insistence was firm. Who but the system would wish every one of its members to compete for strength? His eyes wandered around the people. Did they hear some voices, too? If not, why him?
'Why?'
'The why doesn't matter. Even if a smoker gets lung cancer, it doesn't help him if he knows the reason.'
'He could have stopped it.'
'Yeah, before it happens, that's what's called prevention, but even then, the cancer doesn't necessarily come from his act of smoking, it could have been purely bad luck, and not smoking might have led him to suicide. Anyways, you're already in the mire up to the neck, so you better act instead of thinking.'
'But if we knew the reason, we could predict what happens next!'
'And who are this "we"?'
Rargnes remained silent.
'To succumb to death is the only constant. Why would it matter?'
Rargnes felt something very wrong. Those who stopped him from thinking must not have his interest in mind. After all, he was but a simulation, a tool for them. And, besides, the only true constant was to exist.
'But fucking listen to me!' said the voice. 'You tried thinking, it doesn't work! What do you want more than that? To continue? "Oh nooo, it didn't work. Then, obviously, it meant it wasn't enough!" And bark bark bark. Just change already, droggy! You're there, with a fucking little box called brain, opening and always searching for what you didn't find already! Nothing new will pop by magic!'
'Oh, yeah?' Rargnes thought, irritated. 'And what can you do? Hide from me any other memories?'
'Don't worry, one day you'll see it because, at the pace you go, you're just walking energy for others to take. Billions of spermatoid. Billions! And it has given us that! How lucky of us! You don't understand the world? I'll tell you! The system, the world, God, whatever, they didn't fucking care about you. You're just a pawn, a variable for its plan, or an error. It doesn't matter! What about these philosophers preaching fairness and ways of conduct? Aren't they all now eaten by insects? Indoctrinated by their own speech? If even they believed it, it just means how strong their influence has been to others! Those madmen transformed themselves just to control the future generations, just to not die entirely! Strangely, people aren't very happy after their education! But let's not talk about this! Let's fucking reflect on what we can't change! How can a man hearing others' thoughts be the deafest of all Rargnes?! You smashed so many others' voices inside your fucking brain that you don't think anything new! But you can't preserve yourselves like this! At every second. Every second! Your cells die and are reborn anew! Your life in itself is but a lie necessary to be selected by the evolution, to build a future! To sacrifice the present for the future! What's so damn difficult to understand? The system just made things clear! Why do you think always about me? Why do you not think about your dog who died! That's the same fucking answer: it wasn't needed, it wasn't worth it. You couldn't have prevented aging, so you won't be pained forever! That suffering is for you to ACT. It will lead you to the extremes, never stopping before you do what it judges suitable! You're but the president of your body, and your ministers are leading your body greatly, knowing all the answers, trying to deliver them to you, even making you in pain to give you the motivation, but you don't want to hear them! Your role is to obtain more opportunities to survive, nothing more! You're stealing even your thoughts and thinking you won't get retaliation? All lives have the act of killing in their genes, and your body is no different! Just look at the noble, Louis, at the military leaders! Infighting is normal, but then there are reconciliations or extermination, and you can't do the latter to yourself! Why do you waste your intellect by listening to others?! That's because you can't even bear to be with yourself!'
The voice died. Rargnes decisively ended the conversation, feeling anger boiling within him. At that moment, the voices rose again as Sengrar, the masked woman, and the commander talked together. He had to endure the situation for a few more minutes, insulting and denying every word of the voice, before they came to the forefront.
"Tomorrow," they said, and their voices silenced the crowd. "We will leave to help allies dominate their city. Regardless of the system's machinations, we will position ourselves to rule richly over this new land and overthrow the noble."