Ashina –
Despite the tension between Cadma and his mate, I just blew it off since there were a number of things that could make his mate mad at him. My only thought was that he might be a friend of mine, but what is between them is their business. As long as it's meant to be, it will all work out.
In the conference, we talked about which warriors stayed in the castle grounds, where they were, and who was running the show.
When Andor falls asleep tomorrow morning, I'm going to position my troops around the castle through the underground tunnels. On the edge of the kingdom, the previous warriors scoped out empty houses with tunnels underneath them. It'll be perfect for command centers within the royal kingdom.
I had already talked to my group that is heading out with me, insisting they keep this a secret. I had them pack and be ready to leave on a moment's notice. I will let Cadma, and his mate know to be ready as well. Tomorrow, we leave.
I feel like I want to pass out thinking about leaving Andor behind. But it is the right thing to do, he needs to lead is kingdom and not trapsing off after me and getting himself killed. I don't know what I would do if he died. I can't have him on the front trying to protect me and getting into the crossfire. This is my fight and I need to do this without him.
Kiera –
"You realize you are being stupid right? Our mate is strong, he can help us win. I can't believe you are doing this to your mate!"
Ashina-
With a deep breath, I reply, "How many times do I have to tell you that he has a kingdom. It would be selfish of us to take him away from his kingdom."
Kiera –
"Shouldn't that be his decision not yours!"
Ashina-
"NO! Because he is thinking with the bond between us, and when we aren't around, he will be able to think more clearly."
Kiera –
"Clearly you are not going to listen to me. Don't expect me to shift for you to run there!"
Ashina--
With that being said, my wolf retreated to the back of my mind and put up a mental wall between us. I had angered my wolf. She just needs to understand that sometimes we have to think about the greater good.
I spent some time with Cadma and his mate, I guess she has Cadma as a mate, and the other dragon was/is her fiancé. I hope they can figure that out. Andor kept looking for me, and I finally met him out on the training fields to help train.
I watched him on the side taking notes on each of the warriors training. Only to find myself gazing upon my mates' fine features. How could a man look so good? Strong Jaw, broad shoulders, dark hair, and 6'4'. His hair often falls into his eyes as he constantly has to brush it back with his fingers. Some of the make out sessions we have had; I have run my fingers through that very hair.
I was lost in the thoughts of him naked on top of me. My heart started to sink as I reminded myself, he isn't mine he belongs to his kingdom and his pack. I smile at him and turn away; this is going to be harder than I thought to walk away. I have to force myself to leave, as too many lives depend on us.
Tears are running down my cheeks, I make an excuse I need to shower. I run upstairs into my room and strip my clothes off in the bathroom. I run hot water in the bathtub and turn on the jets sinking in while pouring bubbles into the water. Relaxing, I shut my eyes and let the tears flow. I feel like I am abandoning him when it is not meant like abandonment. In the end that is what I am doing to him. It is out of love I do this.
Kiera –
"Don't lie to yourself Ashina! You are leaving him behind because you are scared! You are scared of the one being abandoned. You are scared of falling in love! Stop lying to yourself! You should tell our mate we are leaving!"
Ashina-
Yelling back at my wolf. "Shut Up! I am doing this for the better good!" It was my turn to block my wolf out mentally. Why can't she understand she has been my best friend all my life? Why can't she understand why I am doing what I am doing?
Once I was finished crying my heart out in the bath that had become cold. I got out and dressed in my nightie. Taking a seat at the desk in my room, I typed out a letter explaining what is in my heart and printed the letter to leave for Andor on his bathroom mirror. I hope he will understand why and not hate me. It is better he hates me than to die trying to fight my war. Moon Goddess I am sorry for putting my mate through this. I just know that sometimes one has to deny oneself for the good of many. While printing the letter a tear fell aimlessly landing on the letter, I had drawn hearts on to let Andor know he is truly in my heart.
He lives in my mind and heart during the day, and he possesses me in every way in my dreams, how much I wish our lives had different paths, but they do not. It is what it is, and there is no other way. I love you Andor, I know I haven't really said this to you. I do love you had grown on me, your smiles, your heartbeat when my head lays on your strong sculpted chest. Your scent of cinnamon, reminding me of Apple cider at Christmas time.
When we sleep, I will let him do whatever he wants in any way he wants. I want him to remember me with the love I truly feel for him. Maybe someday we can be together, even though that dream seems really bleak right now.
When he walks into my room, Andor picks me up and lays me in my bed, he excuses himself to take a shower. When he walks out, I sit up stripping off my clothes.
"Andor, I am ready."
Andor is still naked from the shower, as he looks at me with shock and lust. "Are you sure? I mean I am willing to wait if you are not sure."
"Andor, I love you and there is no one else for me but you. Ever!"
Andor laid beside inching down to my vagina licking and sucking making me ready for him, I was already ready before he even began, now I was a needy mess. I wanted him inside of me, "Andor I need you inside of me now, please?" I moaned.
He started to enter me cautiously, "This is going to hurt at first my love, I will go easy at first, let me know when the pain subsides." I nodded just wanting him totally inside of me. He pushed in barely touching my hymen, then pulled out, with his penis reentering slamming his way through the wall that blocked his entrance. I screamed in pain, and Andor stopped inside of me, waiting for me to give the go ahead.
When I was ready, I nodded my head kissing his lips. He began to slowly move in and out of me, this is when I Slapped his bottom and told him I wanted it hard and rough. Once I gave the green light, he sped up slamming into me hard, and I met him thrust for thrust. Both of our wolves came alive and were watching and feeling what we felt. During the heat of the thrusts my wolf marked Andor and Andor's wolf marked me. It was exhilarating, blissful as my insides exploded on my mate and his inside of me.
This very action I forgot would ruin my plans to escape as I would be out for two days after having been marked, and then my heat would come. Looking into my mate's eyes once we had finished drowning in his love. This is when I fell into a deep slumber wishing later that we had waited.