But Malcolm had little interest in politics. He understood little of what they were saying in their passion-fueled – on the young man's part, anyway – arguments, and what he did understand could be summed up in one word.
Boring.
Malcolm didn't need to know what they were talking about, anyway. He was only there as a status symbol for his wife, nothing more.
Or at least, that's what he thought.
"If we can't come to an agreement, we should let the mortals weigh in," suggested the young woman with the fan as she snapped it closed, pointing it at Malcolm. "What does your husband say of this, Serena?"
Malcolm blinked, snapping out of his daydreams as he realized the entire room's attention was on him. "Hm?"
"Have you not been paying attention?" Serena whispered.
"You said I wouldn't have to say anything here," Malcolm whispered back. "Why would I waste the energy to listen?"
He tensed. He had said those words without thinking of them, and only now realized that they could negatively affect her affection.
But she simply sighed and shook her head with no changes to her Affection Meter. "Pay attention from now on," she told him.
"Are you two lovebirds going to whisper amongst yourselves all day or is your husband going to answer?" asked the woman with the fan, who had a devilish look in her eye.
It didn't take a genius to figure out that she had done this purely to harm Serena's reputation.
Malcolm groaned inwardly. He really didn't want to deal with politics.
'Wait,' he thought suddenly, bringing up his status. 'My stat points!'
He had six of them. If he wanted to, he could spend all six on Charisma right now.
But, on second thought, he doubted Charisma would help him if he didn't know what to say in the first place. He hadn't been paying attention at all!
Serena opened her mouth, about to say something to take the attention away from Malcolm, but he raised his hand. As if the Goddess of Love herself had heard of his predicament, his Husband System chimed just then.
[New quest unlocked!
Side Quest: "Persuade the Ascended"
Description: Serena wishes to send a diplomat to Vahl City to determine the cause of the caravan's disappearance. Be a good husband, and help her out!
Rewards: 3 Stat Points]
Malcolm set his mouth in a thin line as he thought about it. He made a big show of putting his hand to his chin and humming lightly, which kept the other two Ascended satisfied… for now.
But he could already tell they were getting impatient.
'Screw it,' he thought, dumping three of his stat points into Charisma. He'd get them back if he completed this quest, and this was a good chance to earn affection.
"We should send a diplomat," he said slowly, continuing to rub his chin.
"And why is that?" the young man demanded. "Don't tell me you think this was an accident! This was a provocation!"
"We can't know that unless we ask, can we?" Malcolm replied with a raised brow. "If we send a bunch of soldiers over there and it turns out that it was a wild animal, that would make us look foolish."
"And if I'm right, and they kill our diplomat?"
"Then we have our answer."
[Affection increased!
Serena: 38%
Quest complete! Dispensing rewards…
Rewards Generated!
Reward 1: 3 Stat points]
The woman with the fan snorted, a flicker of dissatisfaction appearing in her eyes for but a moment before it vanished. "It seems Serena's farmer husband is smarter than you, Arthur. That's not a good look."
"You little-!"
A wall of heat surged forward, making their eyes water and ruffling their hair.
"You're making a poor impression on the city officials," Serena intoned.
The ten mortals seated around the tables shifted uncomfortably. They were much too scared to say anything, afraid to offend these up-and-coming city lords.
"She's right, Arthur," the woman smirked. "Contain yourself. As for the diplomat, I have just the person in mind."
Her purple eyes turned to Malcolm, and though she hid her mouth behind her fan, he was sure she was licking her lips.
.......
'How did this happen?' Malcolm wondered as he stared dejectedly at the rolling fields outside the carriage's windows.
"At least they were smart enough to not let me go alone," he sighed, his words directed at Serena. "But this feels like a bad idea. If this goes south, doesn't it reflect poorly on the entire city?"
"No," Serena said plainly. "The faults of a bad diplomat are the responsibility of the family that sent them, not the city itself. Soldiers, however, are the opposite, which was why Arthur's idea was so idiotic."
"So if I screw this up, it's going to make you look bad," Malcolm groaned. "Wonderful."
"Which is exactly why we should be spending this time teaching you how to act in polite company," Serena said.
"That sounds tedious," Malcolm grimaced. "But if it means I won't make you look bad, then I'm all for it."
[Affection increased!
Serena: 39%]
"It is tedious," Serena agreed, "but it isn't too difficult to learn. First, since you're a mortal – ."
"Actually," Malcolm interrupted.
Serena paused, raising an eyebrow as she affixed him with a fire-red stare.
"Uh," Malcolm rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I'm… in the Candle realm. That book I was reading in the library? It was on Affinities."
[Warning! Affection decreased!
Serena: 38%]
"Lying does not impress me," she said with an unamused look. "They test such things at birth."
"No, no," Malcolm said hurriedly. "I'm not lying. Look."
Although Strong Bonds was a passive Technique, it was the only one he had, so he had to use it. But to be safe, he also dropped all six of his remaining stat points into Strength before looking around for something to break.
"Uhm. Do you have something you wouldn't miss?"
Serena's lips pursed as she met his gaze, still undecided on whether he was lying or not.
Only when he returned the gaze unwaveringly did she pull a small metal hairbrush out of her luggage. "Here. These are a coin a dozen in the city."
Malcolm took the small hairbrush gratefully before placing it squarely in his palm. His teeth clenched as he squeezed; whatever kind of metal this was made of, it was solid.
The hairbrush slowly started to creak as it warped under the pressure, and after a few seconds, he opened his hand, revealing that the hairbrush had been mangled beyond use.
Serena's eyes widened. "You…"