Even though such an opportunity was something I'm extremely grateful for, not to mention incredibly fortunate to receive, I can't help but believe myself to be inadequate. All the more so when I consider the number of talents on Earth who would probably be more helpful compared to me.
Hundreds of thousands of people die each day around the world which means that many options to choose from if death is a prerequisite for Phaidra to get involved. If she wasn't in a hurry she could wait for someone else clever and capable to kick the bucket before dragging them in. With such an attractive offer like a second life in a fantasy world on the table, there would be few who'd decline.
"Here it is! Number 3 on the most commonly asked questions by mortals who died prematurely and are on their way to reincarnating in another world!"
She exclaimed with great enthusiasm as if she was waiting for this moment. Her sudden change in mood caught me off guard but it was a pleasant surprise compared to her formerly gloomy expression. That didn't stop preventing my bewilderment though.
"There's a guide for this kind of stuff? I've been underestimating the level of peculiar antics and the amount of free time you guys have. Not to mention you read it?"
I'm astonished but strangely delighted in knowing that we may not be all that much different, of course after excluding the ridiculous difference in power. knowledge and age which makes the gap seem much larger.
I know that there are a good number of humans who do the same thing for a bunch of random, weird hobbies they particularly enjoy. It puts into perspective the idea that reincarnating into different worlds may not be exactly very rare opportunities.
"Of course. I read that book right before I met with you. I was just bored, to be honest, while waiting for you to kick the bucket. You were taking your sweet time, making me wait out in the cold like that. How cruel!"
Phaidra is a rather exceptional actor. Should I say, as expected of a god? That or she actually is being genuine which I highly doubt.
"I'm sorry for that, I guess."
Why was I apologizing? I don't know. Doesn't matter either way.
"Ha. Well, special cases like yours only come once every few decades in this district. My colleagues over here are almost all workaholics for sure. They should learn to take a break, cut back on all those needless efforts and strive to be like me. A proper role model, so to say."
Should I be grateful that the god I just so happened to meet is so full of character?
"Jokes aside. Don't get me wrong." Phaidra was finally going to answer my question.
"Although you might've guessed as much already, in case you haven't, I'm not the kind of god who would go to such lengths if it means sacrificing my precious break time. Your soul just so happened to catch my eye on your way to the cycle of reincarnation. It would be inconveniencing a dear friend of mine if I were to just snatch the soul of a living body in the mortal world after all."
Is it alright for a god to act so carefree and leisurely? I mean, she is a god and all but it still feels wrong. She added that last remark even though I'd say with confidence that if she wanted to, Phaidra would still do it anyways. That's just who she is in my eyes.
"I see. So that's how it is. But what if I wouldn't comply, not saying that I do though."
Now that we're already on this topic, I would like to know more. I find it far more fascinating and entertaining to extend this conversation as much as possible. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that Phaidra is the first one among all my acquaintances, friends, and family to whom I could speak so freely with. Perhaps this I what it feels like to have a true friend, if I could be so bold to say as much.
"If you refuse or fail to offer any notable help, I can always just find someone else to go along with my plans. If push comes to shove, I'd go as far as breaching the agreement to make the necessary amends in my governed area on Elara. I wouldn't want to resort to that and you'd get a new life in an exciting new world. A win-win situation no matter how I see it. To top it off, I've taken a liking to you so I'd prefer if you were the one to accept."
Phaidra stated with a grin. I couldn't help but smile in return.
"Hmm. Now that you've said all that, I have no choice but to accept. I'd be distressed if your peers had to deal with the aftermath of such a situation. Not. But I still wouldn't want to see you resort to such extremes."
For once, I believe myself to be speaking truthfully and not as a farce.
"My, how sweet of you. Most of my friends or colleagues have yet to concern themselves with my well-being. Your thoughtfulness is almost enough to bring me to tears."
Phaidra wiped the nonexistent tears off her face.
"You say that yet I see none of these so-called tears."
She didn't say she was brought to tears but her gestures suggested otherwise.
"Why, if it was that easy to move a goddess, I know quite a few gentlemen who'd pull at their hair in frustration. Honestly, though, I do hold your considerations in high regard. After all, it isn't often you'd meet a mortal who would care for the wellbeing of a deity right in front of them."
Phaidra was being sincere. That's what I felt interacting with her thus far. I may not be a good judge of character or have the experience of meeting any other gods for reference but I want to believe that is the case. If so, I want to help her.
"Well, I'm glad you think so. If that's the case, do you mind telling me your other reason?"
But to accept such an offer in return for providing the necessary assistance, I want to know all there is to know before I can be at ease.
"What a keen eye for detail. Have you always been such a character? You must be one of those late bloomers."
Phaidra seemed surprised but not at the same time. Like she was only half-expecting this pleased nonetheless. A late bloomer... accurate if nothing else.
"Failure drives people in strange ways. In my case, that moment has taught me more than anything else I've experienced. Besides now of course."
I've matured and become who I am today thanks to my mistakes. That doesn't make them any less unforgivable but a positive takeaway was what I need for a long time since then.
"Since you're so willing to open up to me, I might as well do the same." Phaidra took on a serious countenance, quite unlike her previous antics.
"Do you know what best differentiates someone who has killed and someone who has not?"
"... Pardon?"
What did she mean? And so suddenly at that. How could this be related?
"No need to think too deeply, just say whatever comes to mind."
What best defines a murderer? The fact that someone has died at their hands. Their methods and circumstances may have a lot to do with it but in the end, it doesn't matter as much as how they killed another person.
"I guess if I had to pick one... I'd say motivation."
Motivations give meaning to actions so if there was meaning to the act of killing in a murderer's perspective, that'd be why.
"Close. It's the intent to kill."
"The intent... to kill, you say?"
Once again, how is it related?
"Right. In your world, on Earth, civilization is a lot more advanced compared to Elara. The framework is relatively the same though and several factors overlap with each other which will help you adapt faster. The difference is still there and in huge proportions which pose to be difficult beyond compare. If you don't understand at least this much before going in, you won't be able to provide the help I need." Phaidra explained.
"How so?"
Phaidra started using those clouds of hers again for better visualization before continuing.
"For instance, your people have weapons like guns which are the most common. Using those, even a child could kill a trained grown adult under certain conditions. All it takes is one pull of a trigger and bang, there's blood on your hands you won't ever be able to remove."
"..."
"Luckily for you guys, an organized system of governance and regulations are put into place and enforced, for the most part. Proper education and adequate punishments are some of the many factors that prevent people from going to those extremes. Even then, there are quite a few individuals who cross the line to achieve their goals. Although a lot of them have their circumstances forcing their hand, excluding them, there are still quite a few who genuinely seek to murder."
"Elara is different. No, comparing the two on this aspect is unreasonable when the gap is as wide as it is. Even if you don't take into consideration Elara's magnitude in landmass and population several times that of Earth, the dangers here are incomparable. Strive forward carelessly and you'll be at the end of your ropes in no time. "