Chereads / The Gentle Manipulator / Chapter 3 - Adult People

Chapter 3 - Adult People

There is nothing more annoying than an adult that kept telling me that... "you are not prepared yet to what is about to come", "Just wait until you start paying the bills", "you think life is easy? good luck on saving money", and "Just wait until you are in the real world". To be honest, there is nothing else I can do but to just act I agreed to everything they told me to avoid any unnecessary enemies or arguments. I was wondering, why put the younger ones down? This will only make them see the world more negative.

This reminds me of my classmate back around September 2023 (let's just say her name was Alyssa) who experience most of the stuff I just mentioned. She dropped out and said that it was hard and tough despite the fact that she was not even half way done the semester and she even said "I want something bigger in life" and I respond with "Maybe you will find it one day" but the truth is... What was really in my mind was "If you cannot achieve or finish smaller things, how can you expect yourself to achieve something even big"? So far, she is working as a health Care or something (but I do not know what her plans are).

As for me, I never find life to be that hard, I plan to go to college on 2024 or 2025 to become an LPN then pursue a Bachelor of Nursing--probably to become a nursing psychiatrist. About my savings? it is good as ever, 3-4 more months and I will be able to buy myself a car, which is what I really need before college since I am 4 hours away from the city here in Canada. In the end I still care about winning.

You might say "but Russell, every individuals toughness is unique. You might find this situation easy but for some it is not". Yes, you are precisely right. However, the problem with most of the teenagers and adult teenagers nowadays in 2023 is that they fear too much of losing control of the situation. Their solution to solving life problems is to limit what can possibly happen, to narrow the world they deal with. They will find a good reason not to do it and use the "every individuals toughness is unique" reason. Each of us has a particular way of looking at the world, of interpreting events and the actions of people around us. This is us and our attitude, and this will decides much of what will happen to us. If our response or behavior is always fearful, we will tend to see the negative in every situation. We stop ourselves from taking chances. We tend to blame other people and events for our mistakes and our failure to learn from them. We sabotage our career and relationships by not being aware that we are creating the circumstances we fear the most. If we feel suspicious or hostile, we make others feel such emotions in our presence. However, the attitude of a human being is flexible. By making our attitude even more positive, open, and tolerant of other people we can spark a different dynamic; we can learn from difficulties, create opportunities our of nothing, and draw people to us. As a wise man once said:

"The greatest discovery of my generation is the fact that Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind"

- William James

Perhaps I should give you guys an example from the book I got.

Imagine the following scenario: A young American must spend a year studying in Paris. He is somewhat timid and cautious, prone to feelings of depression and low self-esteem, but he's genuinely excited by this opportunity.

Once there, he finds it hard to speak the language, and the mistakes he makes and the slightly derisory attitude of the Parisians make it even harder for him to learn. He finds the people not friendly at all. The weather is damp and gloomy. The food is too rich. Even Notre Dame Cathedral seems disappointing, the area around it so crowded with tourists. Although he has pleasurable moments, he generally feels alienated and unhappy. He concludes that Paris is overrated and a rather unpleasant place.

Now imagine the same scenario but with a young woman who is more extroverted and has an adventurous spirit. She's not bothered by making mistakes in French, nor by the occasional snide remark from a Parisian. She finds learning the language a pleasant challenge. Others find her spirit engaging. She makes friends more easily, and with more contacts her knowledge of French improves. She finds the weather romantic and quite suitable to the place. To her, the city represents endless adventures and she finds it enchanting.

In this case, two people see and judge the same city in opposite ways. As a matter of objective reality, the weather of Paris has no positive or negative qualities. Clouds simply pass by. The friendliness or unfriendliness of the Parisians is a subjective judgment it depends on whom you meet and how they compare with the people where you come from.

Do you get it now? it does not matter what problems you face it is just up to you how you will respond to it. Is it a challenge again? good consider it a challenge that will strengthen you... run towards your problem not away from them because that is what geniuses do. For me, geniuses are the people who knows how to adjust based on the enemies (Life Problem) they are facing; they are flexible and easy to adapt. What we must understand is that our attitude is not only how it colors our perceptions but also how it actively determines what happens to us in life such as our health, our relations with people, and our success. Our attitude has a self-fulfilling dynamics. 

That is pretty much it for the story of the day of Christmas Eve..... Merry Christmas everyone.

"This is why the same external events or circumstances affect no two people alike; even with perfectly similar surroundings every one lives in a world of his own... The world in which a man lives shapes itself chiefly by the way in which he looks at it, and so it proves different to different men; to one it is barren, dull, and superficial; to another rich, interesting, and full of meaning. On hearing of the interesting events which have happened in the course of a man's experience, many people will wish that similar things had happened in their lives too, completely forgetting that they should be envious rather of the mental aptitude which lent those events the significance they possess when he describes them."

- Arthur Schopenhauer