"My Sensing Tendrils"
As a kid, my dad's mood swings were all over the place. This made me super aware of the feelings of those around me, always ready to react. Whenever I talked to someone, I was always on my toes, super alert to any hints of them being annoyed or disappointed. I'd do whatever I could to make it right, which made me always nervous around people. I was scared of arguments and feeling down.
Still, this skill also gave me a superpower: I could really feel what others felt. People liked opening up to me. Being around others' emotions for so long, mixed with my own emotional radar, led to some tough times, giving me severe anxiety and depression. I had to quit a super important job just because I just couldn't handle the pressure.
"My Restless Tendrils"
When I turned 25, they told me I had adult ADHD. That means my brain is buzzing way more than most people's, and I lose focus easily. Whether I'm doing something or just sitting there, my thoughts are like a crazy chat room, always debating and arguing with each other.
During the worst times, sleep was impossible. The moment I closed my eyes, it was like a movie theatre in my head, showing endless scenes and voices, all arguing and making up. I'd wake up even more worn out than if I had stayed up all night.
"My Life's Tragedy and Comedy"
Falling behind at work and having family issues weighed on me like a backpack full of bricks. When my mind got super loud, panic attacks would hit me. The only peace I'd find was hugging my cat, Chubby, in the dark.
But then I met my current boyfriend during those tough times. He's been like a rock for me, always there, especially when I freak out. He pushed me to write, even though English isn't my first language. My first book didn't really catch on, but he never stopped cheering for me.
Later on, I had my second book, "I Married A Degraded Alpha." That brought me an awesome group of readers. They'd express their happiness in the comments, adding a bit of spice to my life and giving me some money to help get by.
While money's still tight, my readers' support has taken a huge load off my mind. I'm getting better, emotionally and mentally. While writing, those messy thoughts that used to bug me now fuel my creativity. They're like those chatty tendrils, always tossing out new ideas.
"Thank You All"
Big thanks to everyone who's had my back; I haven't forgotten any of you who've sent me cool gifts upon each update, including @WickdDarknss, @Rosie_Andalon, @Elorinczy, @irdpgirl (your stickers are the best, seriously, I love 'em), and many more.
This book is dropping its last chapter on September 30th.
Unlike my previous works filled with war and conflict, my next story will be a bit more tranquil, set in a cold and barren post-apocalyptic world, but with safe havens and warm companionship.