The world around me seemed to spin, and I couldn't steady myself. One of the maids must have noticed my discomfort because she stepped down from the stool and hurried toward me.
"My lady, are you okay?" she asked, with concern in her voice.
I managed to regain my composure and placed my palm on my forehead to ease the throbbing in my temples. "Yes... I'm fine," I assured her. She let go of my hand, giving me a thorough look before returning to the stool.
I glanced out the window from where I stood and saw Regan storming out of the party room, clearly angry. Ellena followed closely behind him.
This isn't right. I left the room and unsteadily made my way to our chamber.
I paced back and forth, my heart pounding unevenly in my chest. Why? Why did Ellena have to be betrothed to my husband? There were surely plenty of men who desired her. But why him?
Exhausted, I sat down on the bed, my hands running through my hair as if I were a madwoman. I was tired. Tired of everything. Not only would I have to share him with his mistresses, but now I would have to share him with Ellena as well.
This is a nightmare. I lay down on the bed and slowly closed my eyes, hoping to awaken from this dreadful dream.
****
"My lady... My lady..." the voice persisted, disturbing my sleep. "My lady, you're not a child anymore. Wake up, it's already morning," the voice continued, and I recognized it as Ciara's voice.
"Leave me alone, I want to sleep a little longer," I grumbled, still half-asleep.
"My lady, you need to eat and get ready for the day," she insisted, coming closer to the bed as if she was going to drag me out if I didn't get up.
"My lady, you look pale. You must get up now!" she ordered, her voice filled with panic. I was growing increasingly irritated by her. Couldn't I just sleep a bit more?
"My lady..."
"Is everything alright?" a voice interrupted.
Ciara trembled and turned to face him. "Yes... Your Highness..." she stammered.
"You may leave," he said, and she exited the room, leaving just the two of us.
I fought the urge to throw off the covers and slap him across the face. But I remained calm, pretending to be asleep as I felt him approach me.
"Are you okay, Nora?" he leaned over, removing the sheet from my shoulders. Still, I kept my eyes closed.
"Nora...?" he called softly, brushing the hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ears. I didn't move, nor did I wake up.
He let out a deep sigh and straightened up. "I wanted to have breakfast with you, but I suppose I should leave since you're not talking to me."
I quickly opened my eyes upon hearing him. We had so much to talk about, and I didn't want to miss this chance to have breakfast with him. Who knew when we would eat together again?
"Good morning, Your Highness," I murmured as I sat up, stretching my body.
"Good morning," he smirked, a knowing glint in his eyes that told me he was aware of my little act.
"You can get ready. I'll be waiting at the breakfast table," he said, and with that, he left the room without giving me a chance to utter a single word. How cruel he could be.
I quickly got dressed and made my way to the dining room, where Regan was already seated. He appeared lost in his thoughts, with a troubled expression sculpted on his face. He seemed so preoccupied that he didn't even notice my presence until I cleared my throat.
"Nora, you're here?" he breathed, his eyes finally meeting mine. I took a seat, trying to hide the mixed feelings swirling within me.
"Yes, Your Highness," I replied, my gaze fixated on the food before me. A part of me was curious to know what was troubling him, but another part stubbornly resisted. He deserved it for the way he had been treating me.
I stole a glance at him. He wasn't eating; instead, his hands rested on his hair as he stared at his plate as if devoid of any appetite. What could be bothering him so much? Was it the fact that Ellena was now betrothed to him? It didn't seem that way. Any sensible man would be overjoyed to have her. She was beautiful, she could fight and she knows about politics, everything a woman weak woman don't need to know. She could offer him things that I simply couldn't. After all, her father was the king's advisor, and if the emperor were to meet his end, the royal seal would be given to him, without having to go through the process. Those were things I couldn't provide. So, I couldn't stand against their marriage, especially when even the emperor desired it.
I had to face the reality, even though it felt as if my heart were being torn apart piece by piece.
****
The day flew by in a blur, and before I knew it, evening had descended upon us. I anxiously awaited Regan's arrival. We desperately needed to have a conversation, but what exactly should we discuss? I found myself at a loss. I knew that he had visited his mistress after our lunch, and I couldn't conceal the surge of jealousy that overwhelmed me. I knew this was just the beginning, and as time passed, it would only worse.
Suddenly, the door open, and there stood Regan. I quickly rose from my seat and hastened toward him, positioning myself, a few steps away from him.
"Where have you been?" I blurted out, sounding like a desperate woman. "You went to see your mistress, didn't you?"
He swiftly closed the door and took a few steps toward me. "Don't you think it's a bit unfair, Nora? You hated me being with you, yet you hated me being with someone else."
His words caught me off guard, leaving me stunned. I opened my mouth to respond, but I couldn't find the right words.
"That's not true," I finally managed to utter.
"Then, would you allow me to kiss you without you being scared of me?" he said, his voice tinged with desperation.