I'm Ruby Kogane. Just an ordinary person you met. I don't know why I had to share this. It was the start of my high school life, it feels surreal entering a new chapter of my era. Understandable that I have to feel shy at first day. It was second quarter. Nothing changed. Rather it started to get a little worse? Now everyday, I see girls hanging out while im sitting alone in the corner. I wish I could join them but I'm afraid that I'll end up becoming a burden to them. I eat alone at lunch. My only friend was always absent for some reason. Everyday, I had to see girls chatting during recess and lunch. I always hated group activities. Now think of it when your teacher assigns a group then they were all close then there is you, not close to anyone except for your only best friend who's absent everyday. Maybe is it because personal reasons.

I was in 2nd year. I would sit at lunch then I hear boys talking sh*t about me. Then girls would gossip about how "weird" I am. One time, they even spat on my lunch and laughed at me. Now, it was school's biggest event, a dance competition. So while we're practicing our dance, so our teacher told us to add another dance to fit the duration of our dance for the competition. Now it was the same popular girls are gonna dance the part that they just added. And it's just them exclusively. Almost all girls get to dance in the parts where they aren't selected. Then there's me again… getting no exclusive parts for me. Except for the parts where everybody is included.

At 3rd year high school, I got bored and then their posts popped up on Facebook. I saw them having to enjoy their lives and much worse, they're many of them.. a group of 7 I encountered. I sighed and tried to distract myself. Now while practicing for the play, those girls ordered food inside the campus and almost all of them got the food they ordered. And you know why i couldn't order with them? Simple. Because we aren't friends. Like who would want to share with a stranger like me?

10th grade, aka, 4th year high school. Now we had a field trip and after that, us and our teacher had a little chit chat about our experiences and how we had fun. Now I tried talking. Then nobody replied to me. Onwards, they changed the damn topic… even my teacher didn't reply to my question… and now, I vowed to myself not to join their conversation. Because I know they'll ignore me again. I never existed for them. I don't really know why I got this kind of stupid high school life that I never wanted. My parents once told me I should go talk to my classmates as if I were close to them? They even threatened me to take my phone away if I didn't communicate with them. So what am I gonna do? Be the class clown only to be mocked at?! No matter even if im super confident am i, they will all treat me like bullsh*t. Just looking at their clothes then looking at mine lowers down my self esteem…

Its finally time everything's changed. I've had enough, I can't endure it all anymore. I'm sick and tired of having this life I never wish I had, though my family and relatives do praise me alot for just being a beauty. I finally graduated high school. Knowing I wouldn't finally get to see my classmates again. I'm currently in 11th grade at my new school. For sure it would be hard especially that I'm new here. Go pull yourself together, Ruby. You can do this! This time, you'll get some new friends then you'll be popular someday! Hopefully…