For one reason and another, Nazarie and I ended up agreeing to help the pig with his marriage interview, but there was one question that I couldn't figure out no matter how I racked my brain.
—Yes, it was 'why us?'.
I hated to admit it, but I felt like Shiva or the ero demon Aetia would be better suited for stuff like this.
On top of that, they both had those huge chunks of fat that the pig absolutely loved, all the more reason for him to ask for their help, logically speaking.
Nevertheless, he had chosen us instead. Why?
Strangely unable to get it out of my mind, I decided to bring up the question, "By the way, why did you ask us for help? Was it because you feel more comfortable talking with us or something?"
"Yes, that's part of it, but when it comes to marriage, I don't think you should choose a partner based on your desire."
"No, right now you're following your desire to try snagging yourself a huge-breasted married woman…"
Just what the hell is this pig on about… when I looked at him with doubtful eyes, the pig shouted "Nay!" with a needlessly loud voice.
No, why were you shouting out of nowhere?!
I got surprised a little there?!
"Huge breasts are a prerequisite for things such as desires, Saintess-sama!"
"…"
No, I didn't know anymore.
Or rather, I didn't want to know.
The point was you love huge-breasted married women, right?
"As such, having huge breasts is the first and foremost condition in my picking for my wife candidates, but as a man myself—I can't stop myself from turning my attention to them when they're in front of me…" The pig clenched his fist with a regretful look.
As I was wondering what he was being so regretful about, "That's why," the pig continued, "in order to properly look into the other people's inner selves, I must do whatever it takes to keep my composure in the face of their huge breasts…"
"…I hope I'm wrong but were you perhaps thinking that by having our poor breasts present at the meeting you'd be able to keep your composure?" Nazarie asked.
"…Correct!"
""…""
We raised the 'Sword' Hallowed Sacred Treasure and big hammer in unison.
"P-p-p-p-please wait a minute?! I-I am serious about this?!" The pig screamed, begging for mercy.
"Ah, is that so? Then we'll seriously turn you into a minced pig," I said.
"Farewell. For the sake of peace of the no-havers, we have no choice but to have you die here, shitty fatty."
"Hawawawawa…?!"
The pig backed away with a pale white face, teeth clattering, but at that point, I suddenly realized something and asked the pig, "Hey, if you need modest breasts, why didn't you call Tirna here too? She has the same level of breasts as us."
Yes, it was Tirna's nonattendance.
"Don't tell me it's because she looks like a kid and so you feel pitiful for her?"
As a reminder, she was older than me, alright?
"N-no way, I would never think that way… It's just that Tirna-sama's mother is a widow with huge breasts, so I can't rule out the possibility of her becoming my daughte—"
""In your dreams?!""
"Eep?!"
The pig jumped in surprise at our retort.
…Alright, this had gone too far.
This pig needed a serious lesson to make him repent…
Haa… heaving a small sigh, I said, "…Okay, I'll set up this meeting interview for you, so tell me who these favorite married women of yours are."
"Huh, are you for real?!"
"Yes, yes, but if you fail, you should give up on them. Is that understood?"
"Yes, of course!"
◇
And so the marriage interview day arrived.
"U-uh, Saintess-sama, who are these gentlemen…?"
Three men successively appeared in front of the pig who was waiting inside the bar, then they sat down across from him.
So I introduced them in order from left to right.
"Well, this is the husband of Creta-san, the number one on the ranking, followed by the husband of Daida-san, the number two on the ranking, and the husband of Adonay-san, the number three on the ranking."
"Oh, so it's you again, you pig bastard. But yeah, my wife is really the best. At least you're not wrong about that part."
"Tch, what's with this crap I'm hearing about my wife being number two, you pig bastard? My wife is obviously the best."
"Haa? Are fucking kidding me, you pig bastard? The nerve of you putting my Adonay at third place, I'mma kill you."
"S-Saintess-sama~…"
The pig looked like he was about to cry. I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle smile as a parting gift, "This is just what it is to be laying your hands on a married woman, pig. Then, I wish you luck."
"Eeek~~~?!"
Afterward, the pig was forced to listen to each couple's lovey-dovey stories, and while shedding tears of blood he swore revenge on the world.
The fact that even after that he still hadn't learned his lesson was so typical of him…