Both girls stood in awe of the majestic building. They were so close, and yet… "Getting cold feet? I reckon me and the band can carry you there… tied like hogs to a roast!" The blonde "merchant" cackled, spanking Touly with the flat end of her axe to get her moving.
"Ow! Ok, we are going!" Leaving behind only wet footsteps in the sand, Touly and Min entered the foliage around the cathedral, reaching the edge of the impressive monastery.
The two naked girls were inches away from the proper stone path. The courtyard was filled with pilgrims, monks, and merchants selling quite suspect "holy" souvenirs.
"So, they worship one of the Sisters in this place?" Min said, peeking from behind the trunk of a great tree.
"No, the Red Cathedral worships Risia, the spirit of humility, laughter, and jesters. She is one of the Sister´s greatest servants. The one who cheered them up after their century-long cry following the Disaster of the Burning Skies."
"I see." Min nodded her head. "Welp. Pilgrimage finished! Time to head back!"
"What! No! I have to get in and-"
"What? Pray in front of all these people in the nude? Do you want to do that?"
"Well, no, but-"
"You know what they say, it's the journey that matters, not the destination."
"We can't go back yet! We need some proof of our pilgrimage!"
"Easy! Let's borrow one of those souvenirs! Oh, let's grab that spooky winged wheel thingy. Or that princess hat! Although it looks a bit too much like a dunce cap for my liking..."
"No stealing! Since you obviously don't care, stay here. I-I'll ask the Abbess to sign my necklace as proof that we completed our pilgrimage." Touly remained hidden behind the tree, gathering the courage to walk out. She was shaking her hips, rubbing her feet, and twiddling with her fingers.
Min put one hand on Touly's left shoulder "Don´t worry. You made it this far, you can do it. All you need is a little push!" Min put her other hand on Touly's right shoulder and pushed her into the open.
"W-w-wait!" The surprised knight stumbled onto the road. The chatter in the street immediately stopped as the faithful stared at the naked woman waltzing into their midst. Touly immediately covered her round breasts, her toes curling on their own.
"Yikes, that seems embarrassing. Good thing I´m waiting he-Aaah!" Touly was having none of it. She yanked Min out of the hiding spot.
"Keep moving, or I'll use you as a human shield again." Touly threatened.
The duo walked into the cathedral, parting across the sea of pilgrims that gave them a wide berth. They entered the navel of the imposing church, interrupting an ongoing service.
Min and Touly walked nervous steps over the carpet, the plump fabric tickling their feet. Whispers and rumors abounded about the two while they made the walk of shame forward. Even the stained glass seemed judgmental.
"So this is what Snake felt in the microwave hallway…" Min muttered, pressing herself into Touly's back to at least cover the front of her body. Touly´s movement were so sluggish that she barely even reacted to her naked companion hugging her from behind. Her head felt dizzy, almost as if her soul was about to leave her body… and she hadn´t even talked with the Abbess yet.
The Abbess, an elderly woman wearing a purple and red tunic, walked down from the altar. She adjusted the big conical hat on her head as she began to address the duo.
"Well, well. What brings you two to my church? Are you here for the Festival of Humility? If so, you arrived a couple of months early, but I congratulate your spirit!"
Like a grandma, the Abbess pinched the red cheeks of the two naked girls.
"S-s-sorry Miss Abbess ma'am. I'm Touly, a b-big fan of your work. We are on a pilgrimage, and, err, how do I say it?"
"Can we get your signature, err, miss holiness?" Min completed the sentence.
The Abbess measured the two up and down. "Right… And where would I sign, girl? Your breasts?"
"…H-here. My necklace."
The Abbess turned back and laughed. "Ha! I got to say. This is a new one. Naked beggars! Last week it was the fake plague victim. You merchants are very sly. You think I don't know how much my signature is worth on the Capital?"
"N-n-n-no!" Touly staggered to words. "We truly are pilgrims, see this pendant? The Order of the Withering Rose sent me to rep-"
"A knightly order? Sending one of their own, naked? Pffft. Those steel-faced stuck-ups wouldn't know humility if it hit them in their faces, and I tried. Boy, did they not appreciate my humble pies."
"Err, the Grandmaster holds no ill will, I assure you, your Holiness."
"I wasn't born yesterday, dearie, quite the contrary!" The woman softly caressed Touly's flustered face. "Don't worry, I'll give you my signature, and no, I won't ask for money from such "poor" "pilgrims"."
The Abbess produced a quill and signed a couple of words into Touly´s necklace. "Since you came prepared for the Festival of Humility, all I'm going to ask in return is that you help me with a demonstration of how it works for the new initiates."
"Well, that sounds easy enough! Things are finally looking up, eh Touly?" Min elbowed her naked companion in the navel, but to her surprise, the knight was aghast. Her face pale.
"L-l-like in the festival? P-please don't! Not in front of all these people…" The flock had already gotten the idea. They were standing up and approaching, some carrying inkwells, feathers, eggs, paddles, and other assorted instruments of practical comedy. "Q-quick! We have to run!"
"W-why? What's the-Ah!"
"Eck!"
The Abbess was smiling from ear to ear, having squashed two humble apple pies into the face of the two "pilgrims". The old woman ran her finger across Min's face and took a lick out of her pie. "Hehe! They don´t call me the Laughing Priestess for nothing, dearie."
"Eww, what's going on?!"
"No time to explain," Touly grabbed Min's wrist. The mocking faithful were all around her now. "We have to run before- hehe! Please no tickling!"
"Ouch! No pinching either!"
"Oww! Or paddling!"
"Ack! How many pies does this geezer has?! Eek! I said no pinching!"
Min and Touly painfully pushed their way across the crowd and stumbled out of the cathedral. Their skin was covered in patches of sticky cream where pies and eggs had landed on their bodies. Some sly pilgrims had even signed their names above their behinds while they were busy dodging the other projectiles.
And yet, even outside, they were not out of the woods, for most of the congregation was still chasing after them.
"Ha! They all run. These merchants could stand to take themselves less seriously," the Abbess said, watching Min squeal as a tomato hit her left butt cheek. She tried to adjust her cap, but… "Huh, where did my hat go?"
"At least I got something out of that hag!" Min mumbled, holding a conical hat in her left hand for dear life.
The duo kept running for their lives, or at least to salvage what remained of their dignity. They didn't bother to cover, their chests jumping unsupported with each hurried step.
Cutting across some foliage and dodging trees, they soon found themselves next to the river again.
The longship was still there, the "merchants" had spent their time moving it from one of the Twin Rivers to the other, and they were about to sail back from where they came from.
"Wait!" Min cried out. "Help us!" The two women launched themselves at the water. The "merchants" looked at each other, shrugged, and pulled them up.
The boat began moving just as the mob caught up to the naked girls. They escaped just in time. Min and Touly collapsed on the wooded floor, struggling to catch their breaths. A blonde figure loomed overheard, flashing them a crocodile smile.
"Well, well, well. Hello again! Where can we take you today?"