A day or so has passed since Erika departured on her "a day or two" adventure.
Norn didn't worry about her, as in his mind - who the fuck was strong enough as to even talk before her without kneeling?
Well, he was, but it wasn't because he was strong, but...
Right... Why was she behaving like that?
It was a question Norn pondered about quite frequently.
Sadly, there was still no answer to it, as it contradicted whatever logic he had left.
...
Another day passed, then a week, then another...
There were more than three hundred goblins in his village now.
It was quite a hassle to feed them all at first, but then Norn's head produced a great idea...
He fed goblins... goblins.
Because why not? There was a reason behind that, too!
He wanted them to become stronger, as even if all of them attacked Norn simultaneously - they wont be able to harm him at all.
It's not that Norn was so strong, it's just that they were incredibly weak, somehow even weaker than a lowly goblinized human.
"Master, is something bothering you?"
Just as Norn was about to fall asleep due to boredom not-so-girlish voice appeared.
It was obviosuly his orc slave, whose name he didn't bother to learn.
"Not really"
Norn answered with a solemn face.
Even those lowly goblins would understnad that it's a lie.
"You want me to give you a massage?"
Even thought it didn't sound bad...
"I'll pass. Last time you almost broke my spine."
...It was bad. It was orc lady's "plan".
The spell that forbid her from harming Norn didn't actually do that, it forbid her from harmful actions.
But if, let's say, she were to "accidentally" break his neck while giving him a massage...
That wont trigger it, would it?
In reality - it obviously would, but the orc lady didn't know that.
Neither did Norn, as he liked the massage and would like to get another one, but had to refuse as if he didn't.
Well, he did like the massage with the exception of the back pain he got, other than that it was actually pretty good.
As Norn ordered the orc slave to leave his house he continued thinking.
It was a thing he liked doing the most. Just that, thinking.
As for the focus of his ascended lines of thought?
It was Erika and her disappearance, his "Arena" plan and most importantly...
"Why the fuck did i not return to my human body yet?"
That.
It was a bit unusual for him to remain in this world for more than a few days, now it's been two weeks or so, Norn didn't count and neither did i.
However, he wasn't really worried about that, as he didn't like his other body anyway.
Why bother? He has a nice supposedly virgin muscle mommy as his slave, a beautiful elf that's practically simping for him and most importantly - he could do whatever he wanted here!
A paradise!
Sadly, it's about to come to an end.
Norn didn't know that, neither did i. I'm not an oracle after all, i'm here to tell a story.
...
Some time later on the same day news came.
It was a messenger bird made of a bird.
Literally. It wasn't a normal bird, but an abomination made of several, at least that's what he assumed.
Norn didn't care, as he wondered...
"Who the fuck still uses pigeons in an age of magic?"
It was a good question i'm not going to answer.
However, as soon as he opened the envelope that was attached to that "bird" his face became unsightly.
The only thing that was in his mind right now was...
"Who the fuck sends spam to goblins!?"
It was an ad for necromancy services company called "Necro-Works Inc." that specialized in reviving loved ones.
"Oh, maybe you should revive your parents so that they teach you how to behave?"
As he was about to snap out at whoever said it...
A punch came directly towards his nose. Sadly, Norn was a bit too relaxed to react to it.
Obviously, his weak body didn't allow him to tank that hit and he fell onto the ground.
When he looked at the direction where the punch came from cold beads of sweat started appearing on his face.
It was an adventurer!
Not just a random nobody, Norn could tell because armor of that person was a bit too flashy.
It was a silver armor coated in golden ornaments, he only saw those in some retarded fantasy comics he read.
Flashy, unnecessarily big and most importantly - kinda ugly.
That design wasn't something he liked, but his dislike towards such types of armor was the least of his problems now.
"Who are you!?"
Norn cried out loud.
He didn't really care, as that scream was to attract attention of his fellow goblins and his orc slave.
Only...
Another hit came, this time it was a kick directly to his face.
"Why should i tell you? Your filthy kind doesn't deserve anything but pain."
As he was about to retaliate with a "yo momma" joke...
"Anyway, my master told me to wipe out this place, and i guess i'll start with you."
Without thinking Norn used [Foul Desire] on that person!
...
...
[Target resistance is too high!]
His face paled.
"Overpowered fucking twerp, get lost!"
He cried out as he tried to run.
However, before he could even start running he fell again...
Looking back at the person Norn noticed a funny detail on the ground.
There were two, actually.
His legs.
Somehow, i personally dont know how, they weren't attached to his body anymore.
I wonder how did that happen?
"Fucking hell... I dont feel pain!"
Norn murmured quietly.
"You dont? Well... That's too bad."
To his surprise, that person could hear it.
Now that Norn had some time to look around, because well, running away wasn't really an option now.
Hell, even walking away wasn't, talk about running.
He noticed that this person looked even worse than he initially thought.
It would've been fine if he just had that ugly-ass armor, but no!
He also had a helmet that didn't look even the slightest bit appealing!
What's the point of having a helmet if it's ugly as hell!
"God, just kill me already, i cant look at that helmet of yours!"
Norn said with a hint of anger in his voice.
He was truly angered by the fact that the person that killed him wasn't following latest armor fashion trends!
"You dont? Too bad, i do!"
Silent laughter could be heard from the side, both Norn and that ugly-helmet person looked in the direction of it.
As Norn's smile was about to stretch on his face...
It immediately stopped.
It wasn't Erika who was laughing, it was his orc slave.
"Finally someone's going to kill you! I knew you for half a month and i already want to rip you to shreds!"
Norn was a bit embarassed.
He didn't treat her that bad, did he?
However, as he was about to ask the reason behind her hate...
His head fell onto the ground.
A second or so later he heard another thump as his vision faded.
Norn died! Good game, well played! MC is dead!
JK, he's still alive, that was only a body of his!
...
Some time later the whole village was burned to the ground, not a single goblin survived.
No, not a single living being survived.
Orcs, goblins, human women... Even critters, all died!
That ugly-helmet person didn't even spare that messenger bird!
He was truly cruel, unlike Norn, who was just stupid and thought that he's a god just because he has an overpowered person next to him...
Wait, right... What about Erika!?
Well... Heheh... She's... Not exaclty as overpowered as Norn thought she was...
Whatever, it's not about her now, it's about Norn!
He fucking died!
Or did he?..
...
Norn opened his eyes in his human body.
[One of your bodies died...]
[Your soul is about to receive damage due to mental shock!]
[Your soul has received... 0 damage! Be careful not receive any more damage, as if your soul HP lowers to zero - you will die!]
"What?.."
Norn was shocked!
Why would this system show up again!?
He himself knew perfectly well that he fucking died, did it need to remind him of his failure or something!?
[Calculating achievements...]
[Calcula..]
[Ca...]
[ERROR! REMO]
[Available bodies: 0]
[Calcul...]
[ER]
[********* ******* **** is interfering!]
[Calculation complete!]
[Stage: Goblin Life!.. Clear!]
[Rewards:]
[Norn]
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
"All that bullshit just to tell me that i got myself?"
"The fuck does that even mean!?"
[Inventory]
As he opened his inventory Norn was shocked!
It didn't fucking change at all! It was still full of furniture he threw there for some reason!
There was no "Norn" there! He himself was Norn, so why would he have himself in his inventory!?
"Okay, sure, u're still a broken piece of shit, just as i thought."
He didn't even have strength to be dissapointed in this system anymore.
It'd be okay if it was the first time, he'd just be confused, but it wasn't the first time!
His whole life was broken due to this system's inability to work!
What does that even mean? His system worked fine, didn't it?
Well, the new system that he got does work fine...
But this one is a fucking piece of goblin shit that he just cant tolerate anymore!
Truth be told - Norn had a system from the moment he was born!
But, as you already know... It didn't work.
How was it different apart from it not working?
Well... it isn't really broken, it's just that it "doesn't work" due to Norn not meeting start requirements...
Norn doesn't know that, but the only reason his world was being fucked all over the place is that system of his.
This whole magic thing doesn't even exist.
Yes, there are some particles that resemble his understanding of magic or whatever, but they're not that.
You cant just absorb and use them as you like, it's not a fucking fairytale.
Norn, however, could do that.
How? Simple, this system of his simply made his wish come true.
He was a dissapointment, a waste who didn't even want to live.
What do people like that usually do?
They read fantasy novels and imagine themselves as protagonists!
That's exactly what Norn did.
Too bad he was unable to specify what exaclty he wanted, the wish that the system made real was "I want magic to exist!".
Later on, however, it became "corrupted" due to the amount of novels he read.
Some other thing were added, such as "I feel like a fucking goblin from time to time..." so he became one...
"That tower trope is kinda cool ngl!" so towers became real...
With time, all of that concluded into a really complicated wish that became true the moment he died.
Also, him not dying was also a part of this wish.
As the last thought he had was "I dont want to die, ever."
So he cant, ever. But dont tell him, it'll be qutie a surprise for his sorry ass.
Too bad he didn't specify. He cant die, but that doesn't mean that his body is invincible or whatever.
If he loses it - he'll just become an immortal wandering soul that's bound to reincarnate in some stupid scenarios that he experienced.
Worse than that, he wont even have his memory, so he will be no different from the creatures he reincarnates as!
Of course, that will still be him, his consciousness and all that... but what's the point?..
He wont remember any of it, he wont be able to use this system unless he grows strong enough...
...
Later on the same day Norn finally sorted out his thoughts.
He didn't know any of whatever i wrote above, but he knew one thing - he's a fucking retard.
He just lost a girl that loved him for some reason, or at least acted like she did.
He lost his muscle mommy slave, he lost practially everything!
With the exception of his stats, that are now as follows...
Name: Norn
Age: 23
Sex: Male
Race: Human
Titles: [Fearless], [Bane of Caterpillars], [Destined for Greatness], [I died, but i lived!]
Achievements: [Level 5], [Blessing of Purity], [Blessing of Love], [Blessing of Obscenity], [First Healer], [First Mage]
Skills: [I want to speak!], [Training Expert], [I am so happy to have you~], [Foul Desire], [Inventory]
Stats:
ATK: 2
DEFALL: 1
AGILITY: 3
STRENGTH: 2
ENDURANCE: 5
INTELLIGENCE: 18
MAGIC: 22
WILL: 51
SOUL: CANNOT BE READ
FATE: 78
LUCK: -15
OVERALL POWER LEVEL: 1
He got another title! Too bad he didn't even know what it did, as he couldn't just click on it or whatever.
Also, his luck became horrible, he noticed it the moment he opened his status window.
Norn remembered pretty well that it was shitty, but not to that extent!
As such, he turned on his PC and started looking for rituals to boost his luck...