In the silent confines of his darkened room, Johan found himself a prisoner of his thoughts, the reality of his situation pressing heavily upon him. The cold breeze that snuck through the cracked window was a stark contrast to the heat of the battle he'd experienced, chilling him to his core.
'Today... today I almost died.' His heart shuddered at the recollection, the memory of the Humanoid Bats' deadly assaults too fresh, too raw. 'This is my world now, a world where death is as common as breath.'
He thought of the survivors, their faces etched in fear and despair. The image of a young girl, her eyes wide with terror, pierced his thoughts. 'How... How can we live like this?' The thought was a bitter pill to swallow, the injustice of it all leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
His eyes landed on a worn-out picture frame, the cheerful faces of him and his younger brother, Miles, a sharp contrast to his grim reality. 'Miles... he can't... he mustn't face what I faced today.' His grip tightened around the frame, the edges biting into his flesh, grounding him.
A wave of determination washed over Johan. 'I can't allow this. I mustn't. I will become stronger.' His resolve, firm and unwavering, echoed in the silent room. He thought of the upcoming Card Master assessment, the chance it presented. 'San Fernando... I won't just pass. I'll excel.'
In the depths of his solitude, Johan turned his thoughts inward, scrutinizing the person he was, the person he had been. 'I've always been... too trusting. Too kind.' He admitted to himself, his reflection staring back at him from the darkened window. 'That... that can't continue. Not here. Not in this world.'
His mind flashed back to countless instances where his naive trust had been taken advantage of, his kindness mistaken for weakness. 'But...' A conflict arose within him. 'Does that mean I should abandon my nature entirely? Should I become... like them?' He remembered the brutal, indifferent, greedy expressions of caretakers in his past life, the survival of the fittest reality they embraced.
Johan closed his eyes, a pained expression crossing his features. 'No, that's not... that's not who I am. That's not who I want to be.' He felt his heart flutter, a small defiance against the harshness of his world.
His mind spun, searching for a middle ground. 'I will be kind, but not naive. I will trust, but not blindly.' His resolve solidified with every word. 'I can't help everyone, but...' His thoughts drifted to the girl he'd seen among the survivors. 'Those within my reach, those who cross my path... I believe it's destiny. I'll help them.'
His eyes fluttered open, a renewed sense of purpose reflected in their depths. 'Yes, I can't save everyone. But I won't stand by and watch when I can make a difference. I'll change what I can.'
His thoughts turned from his past self to the present, from the person he was to the one he would become. 'I can't exhaust myself trying to help everyone,' he conceded, a grim understanding etching itself on his features. 'I am not a god. I'm not omnipotent. I have limitations, and I need to accept them.'
His gaze returned to his reflection in the window, his eyes now hard with resolve. 'It's not about giving up on people, but about survival, about self-preservation.' He clenched his fists, a quiet determination echoing in his thoughts. 'If I don't take care of myself, if I don't survive, then I can't help anyone else.'
His heart pounded, a steady rhythm against the cacophony of his thoughts. 'I will not let my empathy become my downfall. It's a cruel world, and I need to adapt if I want to survive. That doesn't mean becoming cruel myself, but becoming... pragmatic.'
As he stood alone in the dark room, the cold breeze seeping in through the cracks, Johan found a new kind of resolve. He was not the same naive young man who had started the day. He had seen the harsh realities of the world, had faced death, and had come out stronger.
His thoughts began to drift towards the future, to the upcoming Card Master assessment that Gabriel had mentioned. 'I need to become stronger,' he decided, his gaze set on the path that lay ahead of him. 'I need to brace myself for what's to come. I'll face it all, and I'll endure.'
...
Morning dawned over Jurica City, bringing with it a glimmer of normalcy. Johan found himself sitting at the breakfast table, across from Miles and Fatty, their usual morning meet-up. The room was filled with the smell of freshly brewed coffee and pancakes, but the atmosphere was anything but ordinary.
"Hey, did you hear that wild theory about the dungeons being gateways to another world?" Fatty began, his eyes wide with excitement, a slice of pancake teetering precariously on his fork.
'Oh boy, here we go,' Johan thought, unable to resist a grin. Miles, too, was trying to suppress his chuckles, his eyes dancing with amusement.
Johan leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "Alright, Fatty," he said, "Do enlighten us with this groundbreaking theory of yours."
Fatty's eyes lit up, as he began his dramatic rendition. "You see, people think that when the great shift happened, it tore a hole in our world. That the dungeons are these holes and the monsters? They're just the local inhabitants of those worlds."
"Like...like aliens?" Miles asked, stifling a laugh.
"Exactly!" Fatty exclaimed, pointing his fork at Miles, a glob of syrup flying off and landing on the table. "Aliens, but you know, not from outer space. From other dimensions!"
Johan couldn't help but laugh, 'Fatty could give those late-night conspiracy talk-show hosts a run for their money,' he mused, shaking his head.
"Sure, Fatty," Johan chuckled, picking up his coffee mug. "Next, you'll be telling us that these 'alien monsters' are planning to take over our world."
Fatty looked scandalized. "Well, I hadn't thought of that, but now that you mention it..." He trailed off, his eyes glinting with a new idea, and Johan couldn't help but laugh again.
In the middle of all the chaos and fear, it was these small moments of shared laughter and wild theories that reminded Johan of the normalcy he was fighting for. And he wouldn't have it any other way.