The song is The Scientist.
I told a woman at an Arizona truck stop about that song. I described how I snuck past security guards at a concert to be closer to you. No, not like stalker-close. Not those kinds of guards. I mean slipping past ticket attendants to exchange nosebleeds for the floor. I told the Arizona woman how Drew and I slithered through bodies in the rain. I told her how I held his hand and sang the lyrics. I didn't tell her about you, Chris Martin. You were not part of that moment. Only me and Drew, spinning and spinning under a butane sky lit orange and blue.
After that concert, I felt more comfortable telling Drew about you [until he asked I stop describing your biceps and athletic agility]. This may hurt your feelings, but you became a marital joke between us. Like when the 'conscious uncoupling' thing happened — sorry, by the way — I'd tease that I was going to uncouple him and marry you. Drew would respond, "Ok, as long as I can be Chris Martin's roadie."
Drew doesn't know this next part, though. In the wake of the pandemic, Drew sat me down at a table and said, "We are moving." He has no idea you became involved with putting my forever home on the market and writing my letter of resignation. I sobbed after cleaning out my classroom. Then I couldn't get out of bed. For three full days.
Insomnia can happen twice because of grief. So after the third day, you and I, Chris, began hooking up again. Nightly. While everyone slept, I'd creep out of the house, hand-lift the garage door, climb in my Jeep, put it in neutral, lights off, and allow gravity to pull me down to the street. In the middle of the night, I'd turn the ignition and leave.Traveling interstates, choosing random exits, weaving through town streets until civilization emptied, I drove until I became lost. I'd pull onto earth, park amidst wind-whipped grasses, lay on the car's hood and stare at a sky full of Bic confetti. I always located the Little Dipper first. Its handle is easiest to see…four stars aligned perfectly. You don't know this, Chris, but you and I became intimate again on the hood of that Jeep. Such history between us, I no longer needed to see your eyes on me or rewind a music video. Things changed. We discovered a deep, deep intimacy.
to be continued to the next story