Min sensed her uneasiness, and tried to show support without coddling. "It's alright, take your time." She lifted the mug to her lips, blowing gently across the surface. The rays of sun diffusing through the sheers outlined Min with an intoxicating aura that threatened to derail Hyun-Joo's focus. She closed her eyes.
"I've been picturing my life with Beom," she began. "Seeing every facet, as though it's a memory." Min almost giggled. Only the fact that she too had imagined being the star's partner stopped her.
"Clichéd stuff. Enjoying breakfast on the balcony. Walks through the park. Cuddling on the couch, watching TV. Making love under the moonlight."
Min could certainly identify with the latter, and it comforted her to know she wasn't alone. There were times she felt ashamed, that she was improper for having such cravings. She took a long draw of tea even though it was still too hot.
Hyun-Joo opened her eyes. Her friend's silence gave her the confidence to continue, but her heart raced with such vigor she thought it might rip out of her chest and then muzzle her, forcing its way down her throat until she choked.
"The thing is, when I picture these things…you're there, too."
Min froze. "I don't understand."
"I mean, it's the three of us…doing everything together. Except the sex!" This time Min couldn't resist, and she yelped in giddy discomfort.
"Well, thank God for that!" She returned to the tea, resisting the bubbling urge to excuse herself and head back to her own apartment. Hyun-Joo feigned laughter at first, but then swallowed it down. She took a long breath.
"Sometimes…sometimes I watch, though."
"Fuck, Hyun-Joo!" Min exclaimed, shocked.
"With permission! Sometimes Beom asks me to. He asks you, as well, but it's more often the two of you together. You're the more beautiful one, after all. But strangely enough, I don't feel any jealousy — none. It makes me happy that he has you. That you have him."
Min set the mug down on the coffee table, some tea splashing across the lacquer. She didn't know where her irritation came from. Was it the thought of sharing Beom?
"I'm sorry." Hyun-Joo shook with anxiety. "I don't…I don't mean to upset you. I know it sounds crazy."
"It sure does!"
Min snatched up the remote, turned the TV back on and held the volume up. The rhythmic bass grew and grew until the window panes vibrated in unison. She concentrated on the sounds, though it was the first time their music didn't provide instant escape.
They sat for a moment, perfectly still. Hyun-Joo followed Min's gaze to the screen. STASiS.9 danced in heavy rain, the camera swooping down from above and around each member with precision. Suddenly, it was one of Beom's close-ups. He slowly drew back his wet, black hair…and winked at Hyun-Joo.She bolted from her seat, snapped the TV off and stood over Min. "What have we always said?" Hyun-Joo didn't wait for a response. "That we would do anything for the chance to make him happy. Look at all the women who have failed him! Movie stars! Models! It never works out. He's too powerful for them."
Hyun-Joo pinched her brow, bruising below the surface, then continued. "In Sacred Souls Beom says 'My love is a mountain / Don't climb alone.' The two of us, together…we can give him all he needs."
Min had never seen Hyun-Joo this passionate. Realizing she was reacting harshly, Min held her hands up in reset, palms down. Listen, it's a lovely sentiment…a bit much, in my opinion…but that's alright. You've always had a wild imagination!"
"That's the thing, Min. When I see these things, I feel them too. They're real moments. We've already lived them, we're just waiting for time to catch up to us."
"Hyun-Joo, you can't…you can't just say these things to me. It's okay to have your…fantasies. But please, keep them to yourself." Dead set on ending the conversation, Min stood up, grabbing her patch-riddled backpack as she did — only she did so too quickly and the world teetered. She dropped back to the couch, reeling.Easy." Hyun-Joo sat beside Min and handed her the mug once more.
"I've got to get home. I need to finish that damn Economics paper."
"You will. Just take a minute. It's been a long day."
Min sipped the barley tea. It was much cooler now.
Two minutes passed. They could see their own reflections in the blank TV. Hyun-Joo stuck her tongue out at the mirrored version of Min, who couldn't help but laugh. She always had a way to make her crack.
"You're nuts."
"I know."
"There's no way Beom would ever be with either of us…let alone both of us, you slut." Min poked her ribs to reassure her she was only teasing.
(To be continued in part 3)