~Present Day~
"Hey," Roy called, smiling reassuringly, "I'm right here."
Kori slowly looked up so she could confirm that she wasn't hearing things. A sob caught in her throat when she finally saw him.
"It's alright." He paused, letting his smile spread just a little wider. "Are you gonna come give me a kiss or what?"
Kori tried to laugh but it came out as another sob. "I think you should come over here," she told him, smiling embarrassedly as she wiped at her eyes, "I can't really see, right now."
Roy laughed as well, slowly making his way over to her.
Kori hid her face in her hands once more as Roy came to a stop in front of her and knelt so that they were at eye level.
Or, at least, closer to it.
Roy reached up to grasp her wrists and tug her hands away from her face. He gently cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "You're too pretty to cry, sweetheart," he murmured, "Especially over little old me."
He let one hand slide away from her face, bringing the other to her chin so he could tilt it up.
"Quit making me cry and you wouldn't have to worry about that," Kori huffed quietly, sniffling.
Roy chuckled at that, guiding her forward so that her lips could meet his.
Kori's eyes slid shut as her breath was stolen away from her.
It wasn't an especially passionate kiss, but it wasn't dull, either.
There was something careful about it that showed that Roy was aware of just how fragile she was. But there was also something caring about it, too. Something that said…
You're never too broken for me.
But, then it morphed.
And Kori felt… she didn't know how else to describe it other than full.
It was a stark contrast to the crippling starvation she'd been force to recall in the memory of the last time she'd seen Xavier. And it reminded her of something.
Regardless of any unresolved tension, Roy had fed her love, with no expectation of anything in return, when Xavier left her starved in that bar.
Would've left her starved in the years after, if not for Roy's unwavering support that had been around before they had even gotten together.
And, if she was being honest, it had left her starved until she fully opened herself up to all the things Roy was offering.
And, so, now, she was full. Nearly overwhelmed from the love poured into the kiss. Yet, she still wanted more.
Needed Roy to feel more.
She pressed herself deeper into the kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth.
Roy let out a quiet, pleased groan, bracing the hand that was on Kori's chin on the back of her neck.
As her mouth moved against his, her teeth scraped over his lip, sending Roy into overdrive.
He immediately stood up, bringing Kori with him so as to not disconnect their lips. Without warning, both of his hands went to Kori's thighs, gripping them tightly as he hiked her up his torso.
Kori scrambled to wrap her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.
The sudden movement broke them apart, making Roy huff in irritation before quickly bringing their lips together again.
Kori hesitantly broke away, breathing heavily with the effort to clear her mind.
But Roy remained undeterred.
He latched onto her neck instead.
"Roy?" Kori called, though it came out more like a sigh as she tried to squirm away from him.
Roy was having none of it.
He followed after her, laying her down on the bed so her range of movement was limited.
She was trapped between him and the mattress, being given no mercy as Roy assaulted her neck.
"You're so… fucking… perfect," he murmurred, giving her loving kisses between each bout of words before returning to her neck, "Love you… so fucking much."
The words felt like vibrations against Kori's throat, making her eyes slide shut. She let herself sink into the feeling.
'Maybe…', she tried to convince herself, 'Maybe we'll just stay like th-' Her train of thought was interrupted when she felt Roy's fingers brush the waistband of her bathing suit. "Roy," she called again, "Sweetheart, there's a party downstairs. We can't-"
"Fuck the party," Roy mumbled against her neck, though he obediently stilled his fingers, "Just give me 10 minutes to worship you. 10 minutes to make you forget about all your problems. You can go back to the stupid party afterwards." A pause. "If you can walk."
Kori groaned at that. The offer was so, so tempting. But the thought of someone catching them… of one of her brothers catching them was too mortifying. "We can't," she said again, "Believe me, I'm not thinking about any of my problems." She stopped to chuckle breathlessly. "It's alright, just come lay with me."
Roy let out a put out groan but rolled off to the side, moving down the bed so he could lay on her stomach. He could swear that he felt her tense but the feeling was gone just as quickly as it came. "You alright?" he asked.
"Feeling a little overheated," Kori replied wearily, "What am I gonna do with you?"
"Well, I had an idea, but you-," Roy started. He was cut off when Kori lightly smacked his shoulder. "Ooh," he groaned dramatically, "Heavy hitter."
Kori snorted in amusement, making him laugh.
But, he sobered quickly.
"Fine," he sighed, "If we can't do my idea…" He paused for dramatic effect. "Talk to me. What happened outside?"
Kori let out a heavy sigh. She really didn't want to talk about it, but she couldn't tell Roy that.
He deserved to know.
"That's the thing," she shrugged, "Nothing really did happen. I was trying to avoid Xavier at first but the universe seems to not like me because I literally ran into him. Still, things were fine. But, then, Carmen came over. And I felt…" She paused as she realized just what she had felt. "I don't know," she lied.
But Roy had always been great at calling her lies.
"You do know," he pressed, "I'm not gonna get mad at you for it, Kori." He paused to chuckle. "In fact, when do I ever get mad at you? It's criminal, honestly."
Kori couldn't help the laugh that sprang forth. "It is a little sad, isn't it?" she hummed, "But, at least it's not one sided. I don't get mad at you either."
"You throw your tantrums occasionally," Roy argued, "And let's not forget when you're on your period."
Kori let out a scandalized gasp. "Those two things usually coincide," she defended, "So I'd label that as the only exception."
Roy snorted at that, earning yet another smack from her.
"Anyway," Kori huffed before growing serious, "I never have a reason to be mad at you. You always take care of me. Thank you for that."
Roy reached for Kori's hand, taking it into his own and pressing a kiss to the back of it. "You don't ever have to thank me for that, sweetheart," he mumbled, "Just keep giving me that sunshine smile of yours."
The smile that spread on Kori's face was immediate. And, though Roy couldn't see it, he knew it was there.
But, Kori's smile faded almost as quickly as it came. 'You need to tell him,' she thought to herself. She took a deep breath, then. "I-…" she began, "I think I was jealous, Roy."
She expected him to tense up. To pull away from her, to yell… well maybe not yell. After all, Roy had never yelled at her. She couldn't blame him if this had been the first time, though.
But, nothing happened.
Roy simply laid in his spot on her stomach, brushing his thumb across her skin. "I'm listening," he murmured, "Keep going."
Kori was wary but she continued on anyway. "I don't really understand it," she sighed, "I'm not jealous of their relationship because Xavier just reeks of misery. It's just that I used to want the things they do…"
"And you're hurt that he does those things with, and for, her," Roy concluded, "You're thinking you never made it to the stage of doing those things with him because he thought you weren't worth it."
The statement left Kori feeling a little better because finally, someone understood. But, to have it out in the open. For Roy to know she had these thoughts about another man when he'd been the one sticking it out with her for all these years. Well, it made her guilt just a little worse.
Her silence clued Roy in on this.
""Kori, it's alright," he promised, "I understand. You never had the chance to find peace in what happened with Xavier. The whole thing was just pushed to the back of your mind. When we went away, the goal was to make you forget about the pain he'd caused you. And, when we came back… well, you just never had to see him again. He was already gone by then, so there was nothing for you to confront or gain closure from. We got a glimpse of your residual feelings when Cashmere told you he invited you to Cali, but you never went. Never spoke to him. So, it buried itself all over again. But, it never went away. You can't be angry at yourself for that and neither can I."
"No, but you can," Kori argued, "Everything you've done for me, and yet-"
"I haven't done anything for you," Roy interrupted, pushing himself up carefully so he could turn over on his stomach to face her without crushing her, "You have given me the greatest gift ever, by allowing me to love you and by loving me back. Hopefully, at least." He paused to smile lovingly at her. "You saved my life, Kori. Any comfort I've been able to provide you with is nothing compared to that. And it certainly hasn't been a chore. But, I can only do so much. I can meddle a little. Set something up, perhaps. But, ultimately, it's up to you to seek out closure."
Kori groaned at that, throwing her arm over her face in anguish. "God, I wish you were a jealous boyfriend," she sighed, "It'd be so much easier if you told me I shouldn't talk to him anymore. I hate being told what to do, but if you told me that, I swear I'd listen."
Roy chuckled at her, propping his head up on his arms so he could face her without the strain of keeping his upper body elevated. "I'm never gonna delude myself into thinking I ever have the right to tell you what to do, sunshine," he grinned, "And I have no reason to be jealous. To be jealous means to be insecure and you and I both know that's not in me. I'd have to be truly afraid that Xavier, or anyone else, for that matter, could pose a threat to-"
"And you're not?" Kori asked suddenly. She winced immediately after once the words hit her own ears. "I don't mean that you should be," she clarified quickly, "It's just… have you not thought about the possibility-... or, not the possibility, because that would imply there's a chance of-" She quickly cut her rambling off, sighing as she thought of another way to say what she meant. "... Have you not considered the idea of me choosing him?"
Silence permeated the air, alongside Kor's regret when she saw Roy's smile gradually disappear. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"No, no, it's okay," Roy assured, "I just never counted on us ever actually having this conversation." He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "To answer your question," he began, "I have thought about it… a lot. Used to have nightmares about it actually. I think that's why I was so heavy on waiting on you hand and foot, everywhere we went in the beginning. But, then, I realized if it happened, it happened. All the pampering in the world can't make the heart forget what it wants. Once I accepted that, the fear kind of went away."
He paused to let out a sigh.
"I was always determined to make the most of all my time with you, Kori. I just opted to do it as myself. Because, if a time ever came where I had to let you go… I would at least know I was authentic in everything I did for you. I wouldn't go overboard because of some fear of losing you. I'd be the most authentic me I could be, so that, if I ever lost you… I'd know the time we spent together was real. You wouldn't have loved some illusion I conjured up in an attempt to keep you. You'd just love me. And I could only pray that that was enough."
"Roy…" Kori began.
But she wasn't sure what to say. She'd never thought she could cause him so much turmoil… had been too wrapped up in her own insecurities to consider such an idea in the beginning.
"It's nothing you did," Roy promised, "I've always been a contingency planner. I hate flying blind… but you're just a wild card. So, really, I hurt myself by trying to predict you. But, once I came to the conclusion that your happiness would be enough, I stopped trying. I love you too much to make much fuss if you find your happiness elsewhere. I'd struggle a little… probably have to go away for a while. But, it's you. Could never be without you for too long after all we've been through together. And I think that's the beauty of this. It's criminal… but, there you have it."
He hadn't been all the way focused on her while he spoke but, once he snapped back into reality, he was immediately greeted by the sight of tears welling up in Kori's eyes.
Roy couldn't bring himself to cry, having already spilled enough tears about this subject. But, it would never cease to make his heart ache. He could only imagine what it was doing to Kori.
"I think…" he began, keeping his voice light. She wouldn't be able to handle detecting any sort of sorrow in his voice. "You should rest," he finished, "You're gonna have to go back downstairs at some point, but you shouldn't have to do it like this."
Kori remained silent, tears spilling from her eyes as she stared at him.
Roy's jaw tensed as he fought the urge to wipe her tears away.
And, God, was the urge strong.
But, he knew how Kori's mind worked.
Any outright form of comfort he offered her would only serve to make her guilt worse, in this moment.
So, he pushed himself up from the bed, forcing himself to keep a steady pace on his way to the door. He locked it in order to ensure that no one would walk in on them before returning back to Kori's bed, laying down so that her head was at level with his chest.
Despite his pact with himself not to offer any comfort unless she sought it from him, Roy wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in and cradling her against his front.
For a long stretch of time, nothing could be heard except their breathing, Kori's shallower than Roy's own as she fought the cries that tried to escape her throat.
Once they evened out, and stayed that way for a while, Roy was under the impression that she was asleep.
But, then, she spoke.
"I know I have no right to ask you for anything right now," she told him quietly, "Bur, can you say something? I can't sleep with…"
She couldn't finish her sentence, unable to find the words that could convey what she really meant.
But, Roy understood.
She needed assurance that she hadn't hurt him irrevocably. That he still loved her.
And he would do his best to make her know that.
"Do you know…" he began, "The craziest part about all of this? The crazy thing about the crazy whirlwind that these past five years have been?"
Kori didn't say anything, afraid it'd come out as a sob if she tried.
But, Roy knew she was hanging on his every word.
"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me… and I wasn't even looking when I found you."
Those words broke the damn.
Kori tried to stifle her sob but she felt like it came out even louder. "I'm sorry," she gasped out as she fought a losing battle to contain her cries, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm s-"
"Shh," Roy murmured, cradling the back of her head with one hand and stroking her back with the other. He forced himself to close his eyes as the force of her cries made her shake against him. "We're gonna be alright, sunshine," he promised, "We're gonna be alright."
He would make sure of it.