ARWAN
I tap my finger against the window, trying to find some comfort in the car's silence. The radio fills the air with its melodic tunes, but it doesn't manage to cover the heaviness that weighs me down. Impatience begins to bubble up inside me, threatening to boil over. I try to play along, but every moment that passes only intensifies the turmoil in my mind.
As Emery turns a corner, I take the opportunity to silence the radio, hoping for a moment's respite. "Hey!" she exclaims before turning it back on. "You cut it off at the best part!"
Without a word, I turn the radio off again, eager for the quietude that accompanies it. "My head hurts," I mumble, hoping to find some semblance of relief.
"How can you have a headache? It's Selena Gomez."
I ignore her comment, choosing instead to lean my forehead against the cold glass of the window. Thoughts of Zoya flood my mind, doubts and worries swirling like a storm. Have I made a serious mistake in accepting this deal? Have I only succeeded in pushing Zoya further away? She hasn't replied for days, leaving me to grapple with a sea of uncertainty. Does she despise me? How much does she really care about me? Could my attempts to create distance between us have backfired, driving her away instead of bringing her closer?
A maelstrom of questions washes over me, monopolising my mind and leaving me feeling uneasy. Emery interrupts my reverie, her voice tinged with curiosity. "What's up with the face?" she asks.
I frown, trying to hide the turbulence brewing inside me. "What face?" I reply, feigning ignorance.
"The one that screams, 'I want to break everything around me,'" she says, her eyebrows furrowed.
"It's nothing."
She raises an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "Arwan, come on. If we're going to pull this off, we need to create a good atmosphere between us. What's bothering you?"
I sigh, sensing that she's really going to insist that I give her at least a scrap of information. "I'm just… having a problem. With someone," I confess, choosing my words carefully.
"A problem?"
"Yes," I confirm. "And that's all I'll say."
Emery shrugs, realising I don't want to say any more. She respects my limits and leaves the radio off, letting a pleasant silence envelop us. I take the opportunity to close my eyes, seeking a moment's respite from the mounting pressures.
The intensity of our training sessions, coupled with the recent turbulence in my 'relationship' with Zoya, have taken their toll on my sleep.
My mind races, trying to understand how everything has changed so dramatically between us. I'd thought there was a mutual attraction, that we shared something special, but now I feel like I was just kidding myself.
I feel like a fool, caught up in my own delusions, imagining signs and gestures that were never there. Reality is hard because I realise that perhaps I was alone in my desires, projecting my own feelings onto Zoya. It's a painful consciousness, one that balances heavily on my heart as we continue on our way in silence.
A few minutes later, Emery and I get out of the car, and the first thing that strikes me is the collective gaze fixed on us. It's as if everyone's eyes had frozen at this unexpected display of closeness between two sworn enemies. Seeing me arriving in the car of my number one nemesis is undoubtedly a shock for them— as it is for me.
I quickly grab my bag, eager to get away from the attention, but Emery's grip tightens around my arm, preventing me from escaping her grasp. She positions herself comfortably on her bonnet, while I stand a little awkwardly in the space between her legs, unsure of her intentions. I can already feel that she's going to take advantage of this situation. I should have been wary.
"Smile," she whispers, her voice barely audible. "People are watching."
I let out a muffled grunt, unable to hide my resistance. "Do you really think I want to?"
With a firm but gentle hand, she guides mine to rest on her hip, urging me to play my part in this twisted comedy. Reluctantly, I obey, placing my other hand on her car to steady myself. At that moment, regret comes over me, wondering why I let myself be drawn into this twisted plan. Why does it have to be Emery?
Of all the girls in the world, why does it have to be her, who is so unbearable to be around?
As the curious gazes of our peers linger on us, I can't help but feel a pang of discomfort. This so-called act we're playing goes against everything I've ever known and felt. It's an agonising reminder of the authentic connection I yearn for in someone else, someone who doesn't trigger such conflicting emotions in me. But for now, I have to endure this charade, clinging to the hope that it will eventually lead me back to the one person who really matters.
"Have I ever told you that you look really hot in a white T-shirt?" Emery's comment catches me off guard, and I quickly remind myself that this is part of our arrangement. She doesn't really mean it.
Thank God for that.
"What? You want me to compliment you too?" I respond, raising an eyebrow.
She returns the gesture, clearly amused. "Why do you make it sound like it's the hardest thing to do?"
I shrug. "Because it is."
"What?" she exclaims, feigning offence. "Nonsense! I have plenty of qualities!"
"Oh, really?" I joke, intrigued. "Like what?"
A mischievous smile spreads across his face. "Well, for starters, I've got a killer physique. You know, the kind that requires serious maintenance."
I nod, suppressing a small laugh. "So, you consider yourself the most beautiful girl on campus?
"And in the city," she adds confidently.
I can't help but roll my eyes. There's no denying that Emery is attractive. I'm sure many of my teammates have a crush on her, and she certainly doesn't lack admirers on campus. With her model-like figure, long legs and well-defined features, it's no wonder she turns heads. Not to mention… well, ample assets. But despite her physical appeal, something inside me prevents me from seeing her in a different light.
Being around Emery on a daily basis has only strengthened my resistance. Whatever physical attraction there is, it's overshadowed by the personality clash between us.
"Well?" Emery's impatience is evident in her voice. "My compliment?"
I let out a sigh, my eyes rolling with exasperation. I know her too well. She won't give up until she gets what she wants. And with training looming, I really don't have time for this little game.
"You…" I study her, looking for something that would satisfy her. She already knows she's beautiful, so complimenting her physically would be pointless. She's looking for something deeper, something more original. She'll keep tormenting me until I give in. "You're… boring, angry, stubborn, too self-centred, incredibly bitchy, but… I… I do appreciate your intelligence. In fact, you're probably one of the smartest people on campus."
Surprisingly, she seems taken aback by the compliment. But it's the truth. I'm not blind; I often see her buried in books in the library or spot her studying in secluded corners of the university. Even my sister praises her intelligence, and she's not wrong. It's a shame Emery doesn't show it to more people. She hides behind the façade of her bitchy image—which is very much a part of her—but she's not unintelligent. I never imagined her to be.
Annoying? Absolutely.
"Arwan, I—"
"Hey, you two!" A familiar voice interrupts us from the other side of the car park. I look away and see Jared manoeuvring through the students, his eyes fixed on us. He's in a hurry, making me pull away from Emery and face him as he joins us. With an accusatory finger pointed at me, he then gestures back and forth between Emery and me. His mouth is wide open, a clear sign of astonishment on his face.
"When did this happen?" he asks me. "Dude, I thought you were sleeping with Zoya?"
I turn my head to Emery, who has quickly returned to his usual expression—a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "You think he'd go back to any other girl after spending the night with me?"
Okay. I wasn't expecting that. Neither was Jared. Emery, on the other hand, approaches me one last time to kiss me on the cheek, then eventually moves away, leaving me puzzled. I feel compelled to watch her walk away, contemplating her as she greets her friends.
That girl… She really is the worst. I don't know how long I'm going to have to keep up this charade with her, but I sincerely hope it won't be too long.
I'll end up going crazy otherwise.
"So, this is for real?" asks Jared once Emery's out of my sight. "Are you and Emery, like, a couple?"
I hesitate for a moment, torn between honesty and preserving my pride. I know my best friend well enough to predict his reaction if I tell him the truth: he'll laugh at me and what I'm willing to do to get even a fragment of Zoya's attention. Jar's my best mate, and I should probably tell him, but it's not like we tell each other everything, either. He'll understand, I'm sure.
"Yeah, we… We started seeing each other recently," I lie, looking him straight in the eye.
His jaw almost drops. "Wow, that's… Man, I wasn't expecting that. And is it serious, or are you just having fun?"
Of course, he'd ask me more questions…
"We're just trying to see where it goes," I reply simply.
Jared continues to bombard me with questions, his curiosity coursing through his veins as usual. I answer as vaguely as I can, really regretting getting into this now. I didn't even know he could be so interested in my love life, but I guess since I've never really given him anything to talk about, he's taking advantage of it while he can. And with a girl like Emery, he's got a lot to say.
As we head towards the changing rooms, I'm stopped in my tracks when I meet Zoya's gaze. It's hard to make out. What exactly does it mean? Before I can ask any more questions, she looks away, and I'm left with a deep uncertainty inside me.
Did the plan work? Is she starting to see me differently?
I still have my doubts, with no answer from her for days. Maybe she's just angry with me for not telling her. I imagine it must have hurt her to learn that I was 'sleeping' with someone else when she and I first started seeing each other. She must have taken it badly.
I hope I can sort it all out as soon as possible.
The sooner I succeed, the sooner I'll be rid of Emery.