Totally Lost
Malawak ang ngisi ni Eirlys pagkababa niya ng telepono. No wonder that it really happened. Her plan is slowly becoming more successful than she even expected. But it wasn't really her fault if his wife left him. It's true that she pushed her to do that. However, he shouldn't have blamed her if Zavanya made that kind of decision. Well, she didn't feel guilty at all. She was absolutely glad because of it. 'Cuz finally, she would make him hers. Honestly, the only thing that kept on stopping her was his wife. That's why she did that painful thing. But now, she had to do her next plan. The most exciting plan is to find where Zavanya was hiding right now.
On the other hand, his face looked more exhausted ever since that day his wife left him. Lalong tumambak din ang kanyang trabaho. He had a hectic schedule and it was killing him slowly to the point that he didn't even care about himself. Usap-usapan na sa buong kumpanya ang nangyayari sa kanya. Some people pity him but others just laugh like they are numb. Saksi ang mga empleyado niya kung paano magbago ang dating matipuno at kinatatakutan na boss nila. Every time he walked past them, the gossip and rumors kept on bothering as well as killing him inside. Pilit niyang isinasawalang-bahala ang mga 'yon pero ang totoo'y gusto na niyang sumigaw sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman niya. Nagdesisyon siyang umuwi nang maaga kahit pa may mga dapat pa siyang asikasuhin at tapusin sa opisina niya. As he parked his car, his eyes spotted a familiar car in front of his house. He knows he can't be wrong from what he's thinking about. Mabilis siyang bumaba ng sasakyan at habang papalapit sa pinto, ang kaba sa kanyang dibdib ay lumalakas. He couldn't explain what he was feeling every step he made until he entered.
Naabutan niyang nakaupo si Zavie sa dining area nila habang may brown envelope sa ibabaw ng lamesa. He blinked multiple times, thinking it was just his imagination. But when she stared at him then quickly looked away, he felt his knees weakened as he lost control. Wala sa sarili niyang naibaba ang suitcase niya saka patakbong lumapit sa asawa. His eyes swelled while staring at her in disbelief. Muli siya nitong sinulyapan at 'yon ang nagtulak sa kanya na yakapin ito. Tuluyang kumawala ang mga luha niya. Hinayaan niya lang iyon habang yakap-yakap ang asawa niya. Ilang minuto na niya itong yakap pero hindi man lang ito yumakap pabalik sa kanya. He wished she would but she didn't until she was the one who pulled him away from her.
She looked at him blankly that immediately killed him. Tahimik lamang ito at hindi umiimik. He gently held her hand but she pulled it away. Malungkot niya itong pinagmasdan. Nanatili itong nakayuko nang bahagya hanggang sa magsalita na ito na nagpakaba lalo sa kanya. Pilit niyang kinukumbimsi ang sarili na sana hindi iyon ang nasa isip niya pero mukhang hindi umayon iyon sa kanya.
"H-Here. Open that envelope." anito nang hindi tumitingin man lang sa kanya. Namamawis ang kanyang kamay nang buksan niya iyon. Unti-unti niyang binasa ang nilalaman niyon na nagpayukom sa kamao niya.
"W-What is this? A divorce papers, Zavie?" Di makapaniwalang aniya. Bahagya itong tumango.
"I want you to sign that. Without any doubt or hesitations, Stefan. I just came here to give you that divorce papers and sign it. I'll leave after." malamig nitong sambit sa kanya. Muli niyang binasa iyon saglit saka tiningnan ito. Inilapag niya ang papel sa ibabaw ng lamesa at kunot-noong tumingin kay Zavanya.
"I won't sign it. You know I won't, Zavie." pagtanggi niya na nagpaangat nang tingin dito.
"You won't? Why not? It's now over between us, Stefan. I know that's what you're waiting for. Hinihintay mo lang naman akong mag file ng divorce papers para magkabalikan kayo ni Eirlys, 'di ba? So just sign it. I won't leave here until you sign those papers." singhal nito sa kanya. Unti-unting nalulukot ang papel na hawak niya dahil sa galit.
"No, Zavie. You were thinking about it wrong all along. You know there's nothing between me and Eirlys." Tumayo ito saka tinitigan siya sa mga mata.
"Nothing? 'Yon pala ang tinatawag mong walang namamagitan sa inyo? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Stefan? I saw you kiss her when I was about to give you lunch! I was there, Stefan! I was fucking there! P-Pero hindi ka man lang lumingon! Then that night we made love, even before that, you...y-you just let her seduce you while you were asleep. M-Masarap ba? That's why you even let her do that thing to you? W-Why you didn't feel her touching you that time? Why didn't you even budge?! That's because you fell in love with her while I was painfully waiting for you the entire time! A-Am I right, Stefan? S-So please! J-Just fucking please! Sign these papers. Then you can do whatever you want, freely. A-And if you want, marry her then live here in this fucking house with her. I won't mind." mahihimigan ang sakit sa mga narinig niya dito. Lumuluha na rin si Zavie habang nagsasalita. Nanginginig ang mga kamay niya no'ng sinubukan niya itong hawakan pero mabilis nitong tinanggal iyon.
"Z-Zavie, please. It's not what you think. S-She was just part of my past and believe me, I forgot everything about her. At wala akong balak pakasalan siya---" inis siya nitong tiningnan habang may namumuong luha sa mga mata nito.
"D-Dahil ako...ako yung dumating at pinakasalan mo na dapat ay siya.To be honest, I-I'm tired being in this painful relationship with you and I'm so tired loving you. Nakakapagod lumaban mag-isa, Stefan. W-While you and her was having fun." mabigat itong huminga nang malalim saka inabot sa kanya ang papel. Hindi siya makaimik at nanatili lamang niyang tiningnan ito. He couldn't tell her the truth. Pero nagtataka siya kung paano nangyari ang lahat nang 'yon.
"N-Now, sign these. Don't make it hard for both of us, Stefan. And if you don't, I'll still be coming back here hangga't hindi mo nagagawang pirmahan 'yan. Well, f-fine. I'll just give you a week to decide. I hope when I came back here, may pirma mo na 'yan. I have to go now." Kinuha nito ang bag at hahakbang na sana paalis pero agad niyang pinigilan ang kamay nito. Ang mga mata niya ay may pagmamakaawang tinitigan ito.
"Then I won't still sign these. I-If that's the only way to see you again, baby girl. P-Please? You don't have to do this." mariin niyang hinawakan ang kamay nito tila ba ayaw niyang pakawalan.
"I have to, Stefan. S-So now, get off of me. Aalis na'ko." sabay pilit na tinatanggal ang pagkakahawak niya dito subalit ayaw niyang bitawan dahil kapag ginawa niya, he just let go of everything he had. Wala sa sarili niyang niyakap ito nang mahigpit habang pilit itong kumakawala sa yakap at tinutulak siya palayo pero hindi siya nagpatinag. Hinihigpitan niya pa lalo ang pagkakayakap dito.
"B-Baby girl, please. Don't just leave me behind like this. Please." pagmamakaawang aniya. Wala na siyang pakialam kung magmukha siyang desperado sa harap nito. All he knows is that he'll do anything to make her stay even if she avoid his presence again.
"A-Ano ba, Stefan? Get off of me! My decision is final. I won't come back to you anymore. K-Kung gusto mo, I'll talk to her and tell her about this. I'm sure you both be happy if I did." Nanghihina na siya pero ayaw niya pa rin itong pakawalan hanggang sa malakas siya nitong naitulak palayo. Muntikan pa siya mapaupo sa sahig pero agad siyang napahawak sa sofa.
Muli siya nitong sinulyapan ng walang emosyon at tumalikod. But he was eager to stop her from leaving. Napaluhod na siya ng hinabol niya ito habang yakap-yakap ang beywang nito. Umiiyak na siya nang tuluyan. Sinandal niya ang ulo niya sa likod na yakap niya. Naririnig niya na rin ang paghikbi nito.
"P-Please. I-I'm begging you now, baby girl. A-Ayoko. N-No, I won't let you go. I-I won't let you leave me again. You're my everything. I can't. I just can't." Lumuluhang aniya pero buong lakas nitong tinanggal ang kamay niyang nakapulupot sa katawan nito at dali-daling tumakbo pasakay sa kotse nito. Napayuko na siya nang tuluyan habang walang tigil sa pag-agos ang kanyang luha. Iniwan na talaga siya nito. Nawalan na ng saysay ang kasal nila at lahat ng pinaghirapan niya. Nanghihina man ang kanyang tuhod, sinubukan niyang tumayo at maupo sa sofa. He totally lost everything he had including her.
Hindi muna pumasok sa loob ng hotel si Zavie pagkabalik niya. Nanatili siyang nasa loob ng kanyang kotse habang nakaparada iyon sa parking lot. Nangyari na nga ang inaasahan niya. Pero naging mahirap pa rin sa kanya ang resulta no'n. It was too painful for her to see her husband desperate to make her stay. Her tears was now uncontrollable to stop. Agad niya naman 'yon pinupunasan. Hindi niya pa rin maalis sa isipan ang nangyari kanina. She knows she couldn't turn her back because if she did, she was still just hurting herself for staying beside him. At kapag nagpatuloy 'yon, maaaring maapektuhan ang batang nasa sinapupunan niya. She can't let herself be stressed because of it. Otherwise, she'll just regret everything.