ANNA POV
Ace said with so much hate in his tone "Don't think just because my parents love you that I'll every Love you , I'm going out don't wait up for me " his words always found a way to hurt me even more ,why me why *crying* as I saw Ace walk out the door I fell to the ground and began to cry "when I finally began to feel better he always finds a way to make me hate myself more, but why do I want him to actually love me I don't really know him , he has done nothing good for me but yet I still feel so close to him that's why it hurt right? " *crying* .
As I sat on the floor crying my heart out I thought of the past what my life could have been if only my parents loved me.
FLASHBACK
Today was my 11th birthday as always I have a big party when my parents will invite their friends with their kids, and some of my friends, I never liked my birthday party I never liked a big party event I just wanted time with my parents for them to hug me on my birthday and tell me they both love me , but no I got a new phone , new laptop and more.
My dad was more forces on my academic life, he has always been a perfectionist always wanted everything and everyone to follow his perfect part, he always wanted a son never a daughter he always reminded me of that when I couldn't meet up to his perfect standards for my life. I'm smart very smart but if I get anything below an hundred my dad would hit me and not small hits but big and painful hits, it really hurt but nothing hurts more than my own mother standing there looking at me getting hit by my father, she didn't cause she actually loved my dad more than me come to think of it I don't even think she every loved me non of them did, cause if you loved someone your wouldn't cause them so much pain , don't get me wrong we eat together ,went to some event together, sat together and even went to church together but nothing else.
On my 18th birthday I finally got my own place, tried to move on but living alone only made it worst cause when I was alone I always thought to myself how lonely I was and how lonely I've always been lonely, yes I had friends and yes I had fun but something in me always felt empty like there's a space waiting for it to be filled by what I don't know, at first I thought to myself that ok it may be filled when I do find love but I never really found anyone to my liking, I just didn't want to have the kind of love my parents have but thinking of it back then my father really loved my mother and my mother loved him too, but why me why was it so hard for me to be loved why, it was like when he was with my mum he was a whole different person, he smiled he laughed and even cuddled with my mum was I jealous yes I wouldn't that fathers love , there say the first man to every love you is your father but for me the first man to every break my heart was my father .
As a kid I played with everyone in school I was different everyone liked me I was a sweetheart and had many friends in school I smiled but when I got home my parents were either at work or on a date or a business trip, I often ate alone my mother never taught me how to cook it was my nannies that taught me how to cook and I became a pro in no time, our dinner table was so huge but always empty so I began to eat in my room but my mother found out and told my father he beat me up. Badly that day and said to me that " IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE TO EAT IN THE ROOM, EVEN IF THE TABLE IS EMPTY YOU WOULD EAT ON IT YOU HEAR ME, SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW AMAZING LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN IF YOU WERE NEVER BORN, NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM YOU WON'T BE GETTING ANY FOOD TELL I SAY SO " I run to my room that night and cried my heart out it was there I promise to never have the kind of love my parents had never to be like my mother never.
PRESENT
Turns out that I never even got to experience love cause my father married me off to a man that thinks I'm a slut a gold digger and more a man who doesn't value me nor love me, he hated me and I get I must have ended his last relationship to the woman he truly loved. So I guess that lonely feeling inside me would never leave right? .
I slowly drifted off and slept, after like some hours I woke up to the feeling of someone arm around my waist I knew it was him I was angry at him and was about to stand up but he pulled me back into his arms and said "I'm sorry please don't leave me " when I heard this I was so confused but from the smell of his mouth he was drunk so I just let it go but when he said "please don't go Jane please" hearing that broke me even more whyyy whyyy I feel so bad I ruined his life, here I am in love with a man who is still in love with someone else, but why can't he just love me like he loves her why, call me selfish but I wanted him all to myself even after the abuse I still wanted him. I cried my self to sleep again when I woke up Ace was still sleeping I looked at his face he looked so handsome, but when his eyes opened I saw so much hatred in his eyes ,he pushed me off him and said " what the fuck are you doing, trying to seduce me, WHAT THE FUCK ANNA " I stood up and said " nooo please I just was looking I swear that wasn't my intention " he just got up and left to have his shower, he came out and said " I want my breakfast NOW " I quickly ran to the kitchen I didn't notice that I had forgotten I had on my short nightwear on and no underwear underneath it, I quickly made his breakfast and I saw the time it was almost time for him to go to work then he came down and looked at me and said "fuck " what I didn't get but I noticed he had on a different look on his face and I knew that face was the face of fuck I'm going to fuck you now, being married to him for months now have taught me one thing he always get what he wants so if he wanted me now no work nor stop can stop him now, but I was still angry with that I decided to make him pay for calling another woman name, and I knew I'll regret it later but I didn't care about that now, all I care about was on how I'm going to get him real good .