C334 - Fight
Time became the most precious resource in Khan's life. He had a lot on his plate, and his days only grew busier once he entered his third academic year.
Khan had to oversee Martha's exercises and improvements, take care of his training schedule, remain a good boyfriend, hang out with Amber, and check on Luke and Bruce. That alone was too much for a single person, but everything got worse once the lessons resumed.
Khan even had to prepare for Milia 222, which involved multiple steps. Learning more about the asteroids' colonies was obvious, but the presence of different species also pushed him to deepen his studies on alien languages and customs.
Giving each activity its deserved time was simply impossible. Khan had to mix things up when he could. He studied while overseeing Martha's exercises, trained after putting Cora to bed, and dealt with everything else in the breaks between those moments.
Khan forgot the meaning of the word "sleep". He never spent more than a few hours each week inside his nightmare, but his mind endured. He was too excited to stop anyway, especially when each second mattered.
Strangely, Khan managed to deal with everything for a couple of weeks. His appearance didn't worsen either since the [Blood Vortex] granted him far more mana than usual. He was always in a hurry, but that was it.
Still, a few problems were nearby, and they eventually hit Khan's lifestyle. The new year had brought a new batch of students, which led to a meeting with worried parents and representatives. The event went well, but the issues didn't stop there.
Headmaster Pitcus was an old fox. He had retired from the political life, but he could smell when someone had a personal agenda at work. Luke's prolonged stay in Reebfell's camp was also a clue that he couldn't ignore, so connecting the dots turned out to be pretty easy.
Luke had kept the real motive behind his visit hidden, but Headmaster Pitcus could understand that the matter involved Khan. The connection was almost obvious when he considered the relationship between the two young soldiers. He felt sure that an offer was in place, so he had to take countermeasures.
Headmaster Pitcus could pressure his superiors to raise Khan's salary, but that would force him to do the same for Amber, Lieutenant Abaze, and Captain Goldmon. The request wouldn't sound insane due to the innovative nature of their subjects, but the Headmaster had a better idea in mind.
Trying to match an offer from someone as wealthy as Luke was stupid. Headmaster Pitcus had to prepare for the possibility of losing one of his professors in the middle of the academic, so he asked Khan to write more reports.
That wasn't too much of a problem for Khan. He cared about his students, and he wouldn't hold back when his efforts could save young lives. Yet, Headmaster Pitcus pushed his requests one step forward and asked Khan to review interviews from potential replacements.
Khan knew that the Headmaster had understood something, but he never mentioned the issue. Headmaster Pitcus never talked about the matter either since Khan kept cooperating willingly, so the two prepared a replacement for the subject even before the news of the departure became official.
The new tasks finally forced Khan to rethink his schedule. He couldn't keep up with all of that even if he stopped sleeping forever. He had to sacrifice something, but that didn't improve his situation.
Khan couldn't sacrifice his training or studies since his life might depend on them after reaching Milia 222. His lessons and Headmaster Pitcus' tasks were also unavoidable, leaving only his social array in the target.
Spending time with Cora was necessary, and the same went for Martha. Khan had to ignore Luke and Bruce to save some time, and he even felt forced to limit his moments with Amber to a few short trips to the city.
On the surface, it seemed that Khan was doing it. His life wasn't falling apart. Everything was actually going pretty well from a very basic perspective.
However, those close to Khan noticed the changes inevitably caused by his lack of time. The relaxed and peaceful trips to the city didn't happen as often as before. Cora never woke up with Khan next to her, and many of Amber's texts remained unanswered.
It didn't take a genius to understand that something was going on. Khan had even silently admitted that to Cora, and Amber was her best friend, so the two talked about it.
Cora probably was the most understanding and permissive person in the world, but the lack of proper answers on Khan's side began to weigh on her mind. Moreover, he was too busy to notice or address the changes in her behavior, which only worsened the situation.
It didn't help that Khan eventually spilled the bean with Martha since he wanted her to be ready for the incoming mission. The two began to spend more time together to study and learn about Milia 222's situation and prepare if Luke really tried to get rid of them.
The breaking point had to arrive. The event was simply inevitable, but Khan only saw it coming when it was too late to do anything about it.
One night during the second month of the third academic year, Khan returned to his flat in a hurry. He had just gotten out of his lesson, and he was pretty excited about the incoming weekend since it would grant him more time.
Cora was in her usual spot on the couch. It had become a habit for her to wait for Khan's return, and he often liked approaching her right away to move things to the bed as soon as possible.
Yet, Cora turned away her face when Khan hugged her from behind and tried to kiss her cheek. He didn't mind that his lips ended up on her hair, but he understood that the gesture hid something deeper.
"What is it?" Khan questioned without breaking the hug.
"Khan," Cora whispered before taking a deep breath to muster her courage, "I think it's time we talked."
"Talk?" Khan asked while breaking the hug to walk to the other side of the couch. "Is everything okay?"
"I don't know," Cora said while turning her face to avoid eye contact.
"I'm not following you," Khan exclaimed before crouching in front of Cora and placing a hand on her leg. "What is it? Did something happen?"
"Nothing happened," Cora stated as she crossed her arms. "I just don't know what's going on, and it worries me."
"I still don't know what you are talking about," Khan declared.
Khan wasn't being dense, but he was acting rather dismissive. He was instinctively counting the seconds wasted during that interaction. He wanted to pay attention to Cora, but he believed it was better to spend that time on the bed if the matter wasn't serious.
Khan's flawed perception of the situation came from his honest behavior. He had never lied to Cora. She was aware that he was up to something, so he didn't consider that as a problem.
Usually, Khan would have understood that he was relying too much on Cora's permissive side. However, his restless state fused with his overly packed schedule had made him lose track of the passage of time.
Cora would have been fine if the situation went on for a couple of weeks or even a bit more. Still, Khan didn't realize that almost two months had passed since his routine became so messy. He had unknowingly pushed Cora to the limit.
"You are spending more and more time with Martha," Cora continued.
"I told you that she needs me more than ever," Khan replied. "I thought you were fine with that."
"I am fine with that," Cora announced. "It's not only that. It's everything happening in this period."
Now that Cora had mentioned Martha, Khan began to realize that his confidence was misplaced. He understood the nature of the issue, and he addressed it. "I know that I've been swamped lately, but I've always made sure to prioritize our time together. I'm sorry if you felt ignored."
"No, you have been great," Cora promptly responded and finally met Khan's eyes, but she quickly diverted her gaze again.
"Cora, talk to me," Khan sighed. "I can squeeze more time out of my days and spend it with you if that's what you want."
"It's not that," Cora repeated. "I simply feel that you are slipping away. I don't remember the last time I woke up next to you. You have always worked hard, but now the situation has gotten far worse. When was the last time you had some decent sleep?"
Khan had basically promised himself never to lie to Cora, so he tried to calculate the answer for her. Yet, the situation appeared far from good, and his expression showed those results.
"You had to think about it to realize how bad all of this is," Cora commented when she noticed that expression. "What is happening? What did Luke tell you?"
Khan heaved another sigh before standing up. He had never found the right moment to talk about Milia 222 with Cora, but he realized that maybe that never existed in the first place. The mission was a tricky topic matter how he put it.
"Are you planning to leave?" Cora asked since Khan remained silent.
The question prolonged Khan's silence. It didn't surprise him that Cora had understood what was happening, but hearing the topic coming out of her mouth added a sad and tense feeling to the matter.
"Luke offered me a spot in an interesting mission," Khan admitted. "I have yet to accept officially, but I'm planning to do it soon."
Silence fell in the flat again. Cora didn't know what to say now that Khan had confirmed her guess, and they both took some time to sort out their thoughts.
"Is it necessary?" Cora eventually asked.
"Well, it can help my career," Khan explained, "And I find the destination interesting. It might give me things that I can't find on Earth."
"So, the life that you are having here isn't enough," Cora exclaimed.
"Wait, wait, I've never said that," Khan stated as he bent toward Cora to place a hand on her cheek. "Life here is wonderful. Anyone would kill to take my place."
"Why are you leaving then?" Cora asked while raising her gaze to meet Khan's eyes.
Khan retracted his hand and took a step back. He glanced at the floor before recalling his call with George. The event made him look at Cora again and state his position clearly. "I'm happy here, but I can't stay. This has nothing to do with you or Amber or the job. It's something that I must do."
"Why is that?" Cora asked again while standing up. "It's not because of your career since your job here is going great. You are even training freely and getting plenty of assistance from the Global Army. I can only think that Martha is the reason."
"She is part of the reason," Khan admitted, "But not because of what you think. I care about her, but you are my girlfriend."
"Khan," Cora called in a pleading tone while approaching Khan to cling to his uniform, "Can't you give me a proper answer? I don't want to fight, but I can't remain silent anymore, and you are making this so hard."
Khan couldn't bear to see Cora in that state. He was being unfair. Protecting her from the truth wasn't the right thing to do, so he voiced the most straightforward explanation he could think of. "I'm a warrior. I want to go out there and fight."
"Are you willing to trade what you have here, what we have here for the chance to draw your knife?" Cora questioned as her grip on Khan's uniform tightened.
"Yes," Khan declared in the firmest tone he could muster.
Cora stared deep into Khan's eyes and knew that he wasn't lying. The realization destroyed every lingering hope she had that she could fix the situation. Khan had made up his mind, and nothing could stop him now.
"Cora," Khan called as Cora left his uniform and turned to take a few steps through the room. She didn't go far, and she grabbed her right arm when she stopped.
"I'll come with you," Cora announced.
"It will be dangerous," Khan replied.
"So?" Cora asked while turning to face Khan. "Didn't I prove myself to you? Do you want me to attend your lessons?"
"I didn't-," Khan tried to explain, but Cora interrupted him with another question. "Did you try to stop Martha too?"
Khan found himself in front of a tricky question again. He knew that he couldn't defuse the fight, but that didn't matter since he had no intention to lie.
"She is forced to go," Khan explained. "I can only do my best to prepare her."
"Why didn't you make me join these preparations?" Cora questioned. "Did you decide by yourself that I wouldn't come?"
"You wouldn't like it there," Khan declared.
"No one likes to go to dangerous places!" Cora shouted. "But, I wouldn't hesitate to go if that meant being with you. Was that so hard to imagine?"
"I knew you would have tried to come with me," Khan revealed.
"So, you didn't want me to come," Cora exclaimed. "Why?"
"Because that's not your place," Khan stated. "You don't like fighting. You love it here. You are even about to join special courses. I don't want you to put your career and life at risk only to follow me."
"That's not your choice to make," Cora complained. "It's not up to you to decide if I want to risk everything for the man I love."
"What about my feelings then?" Khan asked. "What happens when you get injured in a mission that you joined only because of me? Do you think I would enjoy that?"
"Do you trust me so little?" Cora questioned.
"I trust you completely," Khan stated. "I simply know that you aren't a warrior. You loathe fighting. You dread everything that happened on Istrone. I won't force you to come to a place that's even more dangerous than that cursed planet. That's not love."
"Love," Cora repeated. "You know, you have never said that to me. Do you love me?"
"I-," Khan was about to answer immediately, but he held himself back at the last second. When he thought about the topic, he could only come up with one answer. "I don't know."
Cora saw the vulnerability on Khan's face. She felt the need to comfort him, but she suppressed that urge since she still had questions.
"Would you have let Martha come if she had a choice?" Cora asked.
"I don't want to see her getting injured again," Khan declared.
"What if she had never gone through Istrone's events?" Cora wondered.
"In that case, probably," Khan admitted.
"What about Liiza?" Cora asked, and Khan's gaze shot up to meet her eyes as soon as he heard that name.
"You are still so sensitive to that topic," Cora sighed. "I see you glancing at that tattoo from time to time. I see you making faces that I can't bring up whenever someone mentions Nitis."
"And what about it?" Khan replied as some annoyance accumulated in his mind. "Are you going to use what you know about me to win an argument?"
"No," Cora said in disbelief. "I'm just bitter. I don't know what to do. All I want is to be enough for you, but, apparently, I'm unable to beat the memory of your ex."
"It's not your fault," Khan declared as he took a step forward before stopping as soon as Cora raised her hands.
"You keep saying that," Cora whined, "But I still don't understand. What did I do wrong? Why can't you acknowledge me yet?"
"What do you want me to say?" Khan almost gave in. "Should I ask you to join all my dangerous missions? I won't stop. I will never remain on Earth. Do you want to spend the next years following me on different battlefields throughout the universe?"
"I'd do it out of my love for you," Cora sniffed.
"Love isn't enough!" Khan shouted. "You can work as hard as you can and deal with everything the world throws at you, but that won't be enough. It doesn't matter how much you kill to protect it, how much you get your hands dirty. There are things that you can't overcome."
"Kill?" Cora wondered. "Who were you talking to right now?"
"Leave it," Khan voiced an annoyed comment. "I don't want you to live a life that you would hate just because of me. I wouldn't forgive myself."
"Why can't you let me try?" Cora pleaded.
"You have no idea what can happen out there," Khan declared. "Do you think Istrone was bad? The things I've seen would make that crisis look like a simple exercise in the training hall. I don't want you to experience all that!"
"Khan?" Cora called while taking a step back.
"What now?" Khan asked before noticing that Cora had stopped looking at his face to focus on his hands.
Khan's eyes widened when he lowered his gaze to inspect his hands.. Purple-red mana had started to come out of his fingers and palms on its own, and he felt unable to stop it.
To be continued