C302 - Mindset
"My reasons?" Khan sighed as he tried to imagine a hypothetical conversation with the angry representatives.
Khan could lie and pretend really well. It would take him almost no effort to play a role that the families' representatives could decide to let off the hook. He only had to ask Captain Goldmon what would work, and the matter would be over.
"Are you thinking of lying your way out of this?" Captain Goldmon asked in his rough tone.
"Is that even possible?" Khan wondered.
"Of course," Captain Goldmon sneered. "You aren't a bad liar. I've only seen too many of them to get tricked by a kid like you. Still, getting those families to close an eye would be easy with the right words and promises."
"Is there a "but" coming?" Khan asked.
"But these meetings can be important for someone's career," Captain Goldmon continued. "It's a chance to create an image in the families' minds, and you have to decide how you want to appear."
'It feels like he is asking me what kind of man I want to be,' Khan commented in his mind as he drank and went over the matter.
"I never thought that a course without mandatory attendance could lead to this," Khan admitted.
"This reaction tells you how much they care about the subject," Captain Goldmon explained. "They wouldn't be so angry otherwise. The subject itself might even affect only part of the matter. Anyone would want their descendants to learn from the most talented soldiers available."
Khan had a general understanding of the situation after that short talk. His subject wasn't mandatory, but the families wanted their descendants to learn from him and earn eventual points for their profiles. His fame was the reason behind their anger.
'Professor Norwell was also pretty popular now that I think about it,' Khan recalled. 'I even won Onia's tournament at a younger age.'
"Do you need help with something else?" Captain Goldmon asked.
"No," Khan shook his head. "I only have to decide what to say at the meeting."
"Do you want my advice?" Captain Goldmon continued.
"No," Khan sighed. "Only I can decide that."
"Good boy," Captain Goldmon laughed. "Anyway, don't overthink it. There are always complaints when it comes to new approaches. Also, you can't please everyone and be your own man at the same time. I've known countless dicks who have climbed the political ladder through achievements alone."
Khan nodded while emptying his cup. He realized that clashing with the families was inevitable, especially when trying to teach something so harsh. Yet, he didn't want to keep his focus on himself. The Slums had taught him to be selfish, but the possibility of seeing his career suffer a bit was nothing compared to preventing his students from experiencing his hardships.
It felt almost liberating to think selflessly. Khan could stop worrying about his problems and focus on the good he could do. He was turning his traumas and negative experiences into something positive for his students, and he liked those sensations.
"Do you need anything else?" Captain Goldmon snorted while adjusting his position on his armchair.
Khan shook his head again and left his glass on the table. He was about to stand up, but the Captain stopped him with a simple offer. "Do you want to finish the bottle with this old man?"
Khan didn't refuse, and the Captain quickly filled his glass. The two didn't start any conversation. They remained in silence as their powerful bodies and the booze fought to take control of their minds. When the bottle ended, Khan stood up and performed a military salute before leaving the house.
The curfew had already passed, so Khan could enjoy the solitary walk back to his flat in complete silence. His mind felt clearer than ever, even if the booze was trying to affect his balance. He knew exactly what he had to do during the meeting.
Khan trained, woke up, and dived into his packed schedule again before preparing himself for his second lesson. He wouldn't rely on the Tainted ape that time, but the location for his class didn't change.
The recruits heaved a sigh of relief when they entered the hangar and noticed the absence of the cage. Part of them had believed that Khan had lied to make sure that they attended the second lesson, but that worry turned out to be pointless.
Khan was sitting with his back on the distant wall. He was meditating, and he didn't open his eyes until the flow of recruits stopped. To his surprise, everyone had chosen to attend his second lesson, even if many were wearing hesitant expressions.
The six recruits who had dared to face the Tainted ape were still carrying signs of their injuries. Their uniforms hid most of their bandages, but some wounds were impossible to cover. The young woman with two blades had a metallic structure around her elbow. One of the men had something similar around his right knee, while another had a patch on his left eye.
"I'm glad to see all of you here," Khan exclaimed while standing up and wearing an honest smile. "I hope I'll see more of you joining the exercise this time."
"What will it be, sir?" John, the recruit who had been the first to face the Tainted ape, asked.
"I want to ask you a few things before diving into the lesson," Khan revealed. "First of all, I know that many of you lack the ability to keep up with my exercises. Yet, would you be willing to attend my classes even if you couldn't actually join them?"
The question confused the recruits. Khan's lessons could only occupy two hours, and the previous had lasted far less than that. Choosing to spend that little time in the hangar wasn't an issue, but it could still be annoying for such young soldiers.
"Why would anyone in that condition attend, sir?" Elsie, the woman with two blades and a broken arm, asked.
"Because recruits weaker than you have survived Istrone's rebellion," Khan explained. "They weren't strong, and they didn't even have special talents. Yet, they have managed to develop the right mindset quickly, so they have preserved their lives and have even helped warn the space station."
"Are you trying to say that we can make a difference even if we are weak, sir?" Laurel, one of the recruits who faced the Tainted ape, asked.
"Well, what you said is true, but I wasn't trying to make that point," Khan stated while moving his gaze among his confused students. "I want you to understand that the right mindset can be more important than strength."
Those words didn't convince the recruits, but Khan wasn't done. "Would any of you willingly fight a first-level warrior to death?"
The question made no sense even when the recruits tried to connect it to the previous topic. Many shook their heads, while others directly frowned.
"No one, of course," Khan announced. "Yet, I did kill second-level warriors. Do you want to know how?"
"Did you exploit the chaos of the battlefield?" Dwight, another recruit who faced the Tainted ape, questioned.
"Precisely," Khan declared. "However, I managed to do that because I knew that I could defeat a second-level warrior in the right circumstances. I went looking for the situation that would have allowed me to accomplish something so difficult."
Many understood what Khan meant. He wasn't trying to say that the weak could defeat the strong. The lesson was that nothing exceptional would happen if their minds didn't conceive those possibilities.
"All of you are different," Khan continued after letting the recruits absorb his words for a few seconds. "Some have good backgrounds, while others have incredible talent. You'll improve at a different pace, but your minds don't have those limits. If my experience can teach you something, I'll gladly share it even with those who don't want to join my dangerous exercises."
The selflessness in Khan's words was impossible to miss. He didn't care about talent or prowess. He only wanted those recruits to be ready for the worst, and his intentions reached them.
"I think you enjoyed asking me stuff last time," Khan laughed. "I think we can have those rounds of questions after every lesson. Do you like the idea?"
Everyone nodded. The recruits' feelings toward Khan's teaching methods had nothing to do with their curiosity, so no one dared to refuse that offer.
"Good, let's move to another question then," Khan exclaimed. "This is mostly for those who have faced the Tainted ape, but the others can answer too. Did you notice anything different in your other lessons? Did something change after what you have experienced in my class?"
The question sounded vague, but Khan had done that on purpose. He wanted to avoid eventual liars or recruits making up stuff to gain points in his mind.
To Khan's surprise, the first to raise his hand was a young man who didn't belong to the group of six. Khan nodded at him, and the recruit gulped before voicing his thoughts. "I have been too violent with my sparring partner during yesterday's lesson. I didn't even realize it until the Professor interrupted me."
Khan nodded before glancing at the other recruits and reiterating his question. "Did anyone else experience something similar? It doesn't have to be the exact thing. Even a slight change that you are noticing only now can work."
"History of mana felt pointless yesterday," Elsie revealed without bothering to raise her arm. "I usually like that subject."
"What else?" Khan asked.
"I tried to use mana inside a training hall for the first time,"
"I had nightmares about the Tainted ape,"
"I couldn't sleep until it was already deep into the night,"
"I didn't laugh when a friend cracked the usual joke,"
"My appetite has gone down since your lesson, sir,"
"I was more focused during yesterday's combat."
Khan nodded whenever a recruit said something. Many of those lines had no connection with what he wanted to say, but he didn't want to shatter the general confidence that had filled those young men and women, so he never interrupted them.
"Okay, okay, let's stop here," Khan eventually ordered. "The question was mostly for me. I wanted to see if my lesson had the desired effects, and I think some of you are experiencing them."
"What effects, sir?" John asked.
"The battlefield changes you," Khan sighed. "Those changes aren't good most of the time, and they have some common elements. It's normal for soldiers who have seen war to struggle once they get back in peaceful environments. I experienced the same problem, and I don't think I'll ever go back to how I was."
Khan fell silent for a few seconds before continuing. "I can't teach you what I know without causing similar changes. I would typically refrain from tampering with your innocence and enthusiasm, but giving you the chance to survive a crisis has the priority.
"I'm sorry if you stop enjoying what you currently like because of me. I suggest you don't follow my subject if you care about that part of yourself because I'll try to shatter it with everything I have. Still, it's better to lose it here, in the safety of the training camp and among friends than on the battlefield."
Khan moved his eyes among the recruits to make sure that everyone had received the message. He couldn't stop eventual departures, but he could be as clear as possible so that his students would know what they would miss or join.
"Well, I don't have more questions for now," Khan exclaimed as he walked toward the center of the hangar. "The lesson will start now."
"What will we do today, sir?" Keith, one of the recruits who faced the Tainted ape, asked.
"That's simple," Khan chuckled. "Form a line and come at me. You can take as much time as you need to prepare. I'll obviously hold back before pointing out eventual flaws in your approach once the exchange is over."
Elsie's eyes lit up, and she quickly drew one of her swords before jumping forward to be the first in the line. Khan couldn't help but smile at the sight of her enthusiasm, but he still felt the need to add something.
"None of you can land an attack on me," Khan explained. "The point of the lesson is to develop killing intent. Come at me as if you wanted to kill me. I might forget to hold back if I see that you don't take the task seriously."
Khan wore his cold expression near the end of his explanation, which surprised the recruits. They had begun to feel somewhat relaxed around him, but the tension that only a superior could generate returned now.. Many students hesitated, but others jumped behind Elsie to create the line.
To be continued