C268 - Leader
Khan's optimistic approach turned out to be wrong on various levels. In theory, a human suited his body in ways that Niqols couldn't achieve, but the differences found with Delia only worked as a constant reminder of what he was doing.
That made Khan work harder on losing himself in the pleasant sensations that Delia generated. The lack of deep intimacy with the woman inevitably worsened the sex, but that didn't turn it into a bad experience. It was simply clunky at times, even if it improved as the two continued to remain wrapped in each other's arms and legs.
Delia wasn't new to that practice. She also had condoms in her habitations to be ready for those situations. Still, the two needed a bit to understand how to satisfy each other properly.
Delia felt initially surprised when she noticed Khan's curious but confident approach. She had no idea how someone so young could show no awkwardness or insecurity in front of an older partner, but he quickly made her forget those thoughts to focus on the actual event.
Instead, Khan found himself in the odd situation of being familiar with certain reactions even if unusual sensations accompanied them. Humans and Niqols were similar, but they felt different, especially during those situations.
Of course, that wasn't unusual at all. Khan had only experienced sex with Niqols, so his understanding of the practice was a bit off. It didn't take him long to grow used to those differences, and he even started to appreciate some of them near the end. Yet, he felt the need to hold back at times since Delia was no Liiza. Their chemistry wasn't bad, but it was clear that they had yet to know each other in that field.
The injured hand didn't help with the intercourse, but the two paid great attention to it. In the end, they both enjoyed the experience greatly and ended up staring at the ceiling while the morning grew close.
"You never stop surprising me," Delia whispered as she turned toward him to leave a kiss on his chest.
Khan didn't answer. He limited himself to reach the back of her head to caress her, but his eyes remained on the ceiling. The sex had mostly been a good distraction, but everything had returned now. The new intensity experienced after the quick kiss was nothing compared to what invaded his mind now.
There was a simple truth to the situation that went beyond the spiritual betrayal of his love for Liiza. Khan had mustered the strength to be intimate with someone else, so Liiza was also capable of that. The realization almost brought Khan to tears. He wanted to leave, go somewhere cold, and remain alone, but he found punishing himself more appealing.
Delia's warmth was a constant reminder of his actions. They made Khan feel awful, but that was fine. Being angry at himself was better than suffering about something that he couldn't control. Besides, part of him thought that he deserved that pain.
"Too soon?" Delia asked when she noticed that Khan kept his unblinking eyes fixed on the ceiling.
"I think it would have always been too soon," Khan admitted without moving his eyes from the ceiling.
"You forced yours-," Delia tried to complain, but Khan promptly sealed her mouth with his hand and turned toward her to show a helpless smile.
"It has been good," Khan honestly stated. "I've forgotten about everything for a bit, so thank you."
Delia could only give in at the sight of Khan's honest expression. She didn't say anything when he removed his hand from her mouth, and she also remained silent when he sat to search for his underwear.
"I can remain down with you for a bit longer if you want," Khan proposed.
"It's fine," Delia sighed while sitting and approaching Khan from behind, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Rick will soon arrive at your doorstep, and we aren't lovers or anything. You ended up here to gain small moments of peace, so use me well without worrying about eventual consequences."
"I must be really good under the sheets," Khan joked.
"I'll tell you more the next time," Delia teased while turning Khan's head toward her and approaching his mouth before stopping at the last second. "If you want us to do this again."
"Are you really okay with our agreement?" Khan asked.
Delia nodded, and Khan completed the kiss before resuming searching for his clothes. The woman felt that he had ended the gesture hastily, but she didn't complain. Still, her hands moved on his back until they eventually reached the azure tattoo.
"What does it mean today?" Delia timidly asked.
"You don't want to know that," Khan exclaimed before standing up and reaching his underwear.
Delia obviously didn't feel thrilled about all of that, but she accepted Khan's behavior. She was paying him back for everything that happened during the escape, and she could even realize how hard that night had been for him. Also, in her mind, she had already acknowledged that Khan would leave her life once his mission on Ecoruta ended.
Khan dressed up quickly, and Delia did the same. When the two exited the habitation, they found Rick napping on the ground right next to the entrance. He appeared in a perfect state and ready for another ruthless training session.
A routine began at that point. Life in a camp could get boring rather quickly, but Khan never lacked things that kept him busy.
Rick would occupy part of his mornings. Khan always brought the soldier to the barren patch of ground and oversaw his sparring with Lucille. The first days showed little to no progress and left Rick in a pitiful condition, but improvements slowly arrived and eventually led to more interesting fights.
Marcus and the other members of the future assault team tried their best to share meals with Khan or talk to him while they waited for his hand to heal. It was clear that his ruthless methods had created doubts in their minds, but they couldn't test him until his condition went back to its peak.
Khan spent the rest of the mornings, afternoons, and nights training. His foundation in the Niqols' methods had to improve to gain mastery over their two techniques. Moreover, his element required constant attention since he wanted to grow used to its new features and the changes it applied to his techniques.
Delia was the last meaningful part of that routine. She couldn't be with Khan all the time due to his relentless training, but she made sure to spend most nights with him. Their relationship remained rather superficial due to the limitations that they had set, but they still managed to enjoy a few intimate moments that warmed each other's hearts.
Sadly for Khan, most of his interactions with Delia always led to a vortex of negative emotions. He didn't even feel that he was moving on. Guilt, sorrow, and longing always tainted the memories of the warm moments shared with Delia, and the situation didn't improve with time.
The long time spent studying the nature of the chaos element forced Khan to inspect his very self. The mana naturally gained features from the mind and body of a soldier, so a bit of introspection was necessary even in his unique situation.
That allowed Khan to understand the nature behind his lack of emotional progress, and the truth turned out to be relatively simple. Nothing seemed able to surpass what he had experienced with Liiza, but that was fine. The issue came from the lack of deep feelings for Delia. Everything with her was purely physical, even if he generally liked her character.
That led to a simple conclusion. Khan wouldn't begin to move on until he allowed himself to feel again, but he didn't want that. He was actually scared of forgetting. He preferred the short relief over a possible solution to his issues because it kept him connected to Liiza.
A change in the routine happened when Khan felt that his right hand had completely healed. The event occurred deep into the night while he was in the middle of one of his long meditative sessions. He felt that everything was finally okay, so it was time to test his last spell.
Khan sat on his bed and checked his hand with his fingers. Only six days had passed after Lieutenant Holger had removed the metallic structure. He had healed fully only one day before her predictions, but that felt already a lot after considering the injuries that he had suffered.
"Is it morning already?" Delia whined when she sensed Khan leaving the bed.
"No, four am," Khan calmly replied.
"Training?" Delia asked.
"I need to try something," Khan explained. "This habitation might not endure it."
"Do I need to come?" Delia questioned.
"Not at all," Khan stated. "I don't know how dangerous this will be."
Delia didn't add anything else. The assault team would leave the camp in seven days, so Khan needed freedom to train and prepare for the mission. He would go back on the battlefield soon, and he couldn't allow himself to be unprepared.
Delia had initially expressed her desire to join the assault team, but Khan had ended up talking her out of it. He didn't underestimate her battle prowess or value on the battlefield. His words didn't even come from eventual concern about her safety. Delia simply had no reason to take those risks, and Khan didn't want her to go only to watch his back.
Khan left the habitation and moved outside the camp in a random direction. The frontlines weren't too distant, but the settlement's surroundings were safe and empty, which was what pressed him the most.
The plain extended for a while in every direction, so Khan marched among the dark environment until he felt distant enough to test his spell. His senses confirmed the absence of bystanders around him, so he quickly closed his eyes as he summoned images and feelings that he had prepared beforehand.
The chaos spear spell required flexible destruction, something rather hard to imagine. Finding a suitable emotion was also challenging, but Delia helped Khan once again.
During the past weeks, Khan had learnt to bottle up his sadness and suppress it for a few hours, depending on how long his intercourses with Delia lasted. The action left a bitter taste in his mouth and led to stronger feelings afterward, but it revealed a bit of control, which could be the key to his new spell.
The images were also tricky to find. Khan could only rely on vague spells deployed by the Niqols. He recalled the fiery snake, or the ability to build up energy before transforming it into ice. They weren't ideal examples, but he had nothing better to work with for now.
Khan summoned his mana and joined his palms while reaching a deep state of concentration. He had memorized how to move his energy in the past weeks, so he only had to perfect the execution.
Mana amassed between his palms. Khan could feel energy capable of blasting his arms away accumulating and struggling to maintain a stable structure. However, he kept going. He sensed the similarities with what happened with Delia. He still had time to gather power.
His palms slowly began to separate. A tiny flare escaped the mass of mana when it found an opening, but most of it remained in that dense structure. Khan stretched it until he created a thick red-purple line that almost begged him to let it explode.
Khan didn't lose control of the spell, even if he wasn't exactly suppressing it. He was using a feeling that added that nature to his mana. Still, his time was up, so he wielded the spear and threw it in the distance.
'I need to work on my aim,' Khan thought as soon as he inspected the spear.
The trajectory was off, and Khan even realized that he had applied too much strength. It was hard to balance his power with something that felt so light. Yet, his thoughts disappeared when the spear hit the ground.
The original chaos spear spell created a normal explosion, but Khan's version ended up summoning a bright pillar that slid on the ground as it continued to release its power. The simple detonation had transformed into something that added range and height to the spell. It even made its discharge of energy more immediate.
Khan couldn't rejoice at his success for too long since a presence suddenly entered his range. The event surprised him, but he didn't feel scared since he recognized the figure behind that aura.
"That was quite the spectacle," Captain Clayman announced while reaching Khan's side and bending forward to check the destruction unfolded by the spell. "The chaos element is definitely scary. I hope you have something less destructive for your mission."
Khan took that as a chance to reveal part of his power. Mana gathered on his palm before taking the shape of a short sword. The chaos claws spell had grown a bit in those weeks, but its range remained limited.
"That's not bad," Captain Clayman exclaimed while taking out a cigar from a pocket on his chest. "Did you show it to me to get your star?"
"I need a superior to confirm my ability to cast first-grade spells," Khan admitted.
"You'll have your new uniform tomorrow," Captain Clayman stated. "It's great that you have reached this level before the mission. It will help solidify your position as leader."
"The others already respect me a lot, sir," Khan explained. "There won't be any problem during the mission."
"It would be strange if they didn't respect you," Captain Clayman responded. "Your feats naturally attract attention, but you handled your fame quite well. You didn't end up stirring any mess, and you are even taking care of the Rassec boy."
Khan fell silent. He didn't say anything, and his eyes also remained fixed on the crater created by the chaos spear. Still, the Captain laughed as he lit up the cigar with two fingers.
"It's pointless to hide your surprise," Captain Clayman chuckled while patting Khan's shoulder. "It's only normal for me to know. His parents told me even before he reached Ecoruta."
"I thought they had cut him off due to his character," Khan stated.
"Well, they did that," The Captain replied, "But he remains a member of a noble family. I didn't think you had the guts to train him properly. I figured you would have spent all your time alone or with your woman."
"Rick isn't bad," Khan explained. "He has a good heart."
"And he can turn into an incredible ally if you make him somewhat important inside his family," The Captain laughed.
Khan didn't answer. There was no need to add words to that statement. Everyone could see the benefits of training someone who could have claims on positions inside a noble family.
An azure light eventually flashed far in the distance and attracted the duo's attention. Khan didn't know what could cause such an intense glow, but the Captain quickly explained without requiring questions. "We lost a trench. It's fine. HQ had planned that yesterday."
"Did they evacuate the area?" Khan asked.
"What do you think?" Captain Clayman questioned. "HQ needs to exploit the thinning of the enemy frontlines. It must appear as a real victory, or even the Stal would suspect something."
Khan limited himself to nod. He knew Captain Clayman's mindset, but he didn't dare to say anything on the topic. Khan was only a vaguely important soldier. He had no say on those matters.
"Imagine humankind five hundred years ago," The Captain sighed while smoking his cigar. "We had nothing more than broken cities and corpses, but we managed to rebuild and learn. It didn't take long before the first humans started to advance through the levels of mana. We should have gone extinct that day, but we have learnt to wield our new power and accomplished wonders with it."
The Captain appeared extremely disappointed about that story. He often stopped talking to smoke, but he always picked up from where he had left.
"Look at us now," Captain Clayam exclaimed. "We let our soldiers die to obtain a minimal tactical advantage in battles for a planet that doesn't belong to us. Are we even worthy of our ancestors who paved the way of mana?"
"Humankind is strong among the discovered solar systems," Khan commented.
"We are," The Captain scoffed, "But we have lost purpose. Wars have become playgrounds. We aren't aiming to see how far mana can bring us. We prefer to steal metal and seal alliances with an emotionless alien species instead of trusting each other."
"I'm sure some of us still pursue that goal, sir," Khan claimed.
"I know," The Captain sighed, "But it's pointless when only the minority shares that mindset. We have to show them how to do things properly."
"We?" Khan voiced in a questioning tone.
"You are an official leader now," Captain Clayman announced. "You have to show them more than raw prowess. You must inspire them.. Wars are hideous things, but everything becomes easier to overcome with a goal in mind."
To be continued