C211 - Sadness
The Niqols generally had simple relationships. Mutual attraction led to dating, which would transform into proper love if feelings were to bloom.
Those relationships were deep, intense, and strong, but they were based on how open the Niqols were toward their feelings. The aliens rarely went against their emotions, which made the interactions between partners straightforward. It was easy to understand whether their bonds only had physical attraction or had something more.
Even Khan, George, and Helen had found good partners relatively easily. The Niqols' straightforward approach to emotions and their lack of self-restraint had helped those humans get over the differences between their species. Things had been slightly different for Khan, but he knew that everything would have been harder with Liiza if she didn't reveal her attraction right away.
Yeza didn't fall in that category. She had always been aware of the problems that her character could cause, especially among such an emotional species, but she didn't give up on it. Instead, she had decided to isolate herself and focus on politics to avoid ending up in relationships that couldn't have a future.
Deni had made her hope that she could have something similar to her peers. His intense love had made Yeza take a chance. He had allowed her to believe that she could fulfill her feelings. Yet, her character had turned out to be too much in the end.
The words that Captain Erbair had spoken just yesterday resounded inside Khan's mind. Yeza was the living proof that feelings weren't always enough. Her situation was unique, but she had still proved how a relationship featuring mutual love could end for various reasons.
Khan had learnt to evaluate and recognize different characters due to the social paranoia developed in Ylaco's slums. However, he had to admit that his approach to relationships was still naive.
Khan couldn't blame himself there. His young age and poor experience in that field made him innocent and pure, so he couldn't evaluate Yeza's situation accurately. Part of him continued to believe that she was at fault due to her affairs, but could he really blame her? According to her words, she had done everything she could to warn Deni about her character.
Khan believed that Yeza's relationship was too complicated to study with his inexperienced mind. He obviously couldn't evaluate it according to human canons, but he could start to understand her when he relied on his broad mindset.
Understanding Yeza felt depressing. It actually hurt Khan to try to relate to her situation. Something even brought his mind to the Nak and his nightmares. He could find similarities between his desperation and Yeza's character when it came to the problems that they could cause in a relationship.
"[Don't think too hard about my words]," Yeza continued when she saw that Khan lowered his gaze. "[I only wanted to broaden your perspective. You have power over my daughter's happiness, so I can't let you remain a na?ve kid. Your mind is in the right place, but you need to be more than that to be with her. You need to become a man who can help her face her political responsibilities]."
Khan couldn't help but raise his gaze. Yeza was taking that relationship seriously, so she wanted to prepare him for the problems that Liiza's status could cause. She was acting as a concerned mother who wanted her daughter's path to be smooth and happy.
"[I want to do my best]," Khan honestly revealed. "[I don't know much about politics, but I'm learning. Still, I hope you can understand that I don't care about them. I only wish Liiza's happiness]."
Yeza's eyes widened in surprise. Khan had the gall to voice such an honest revelation before her, the main ambassador in the relationship between the two species. She didn't know whether to see that as brave or dumb. His honesty left her shocked, but a warm smile eventually broadened on her serious face.
"[You should never say such words in the open if you want to get the approval of my tribe]," Yeza chuckled while covering her mouth.
"[I have just been honest to my girlfriend's mother]," Khan said as a timid smile appeared on his face.
Yeza inspected Khan, and she soon heaved a helpless sigh. She focused on her drink and traced the cup's edge with her fingers as a comment escaped her mouth. "[Look at me. I'm getting so emotional in front of my daughter's first serious man. My age is making me lose ground against a kid. I wonder if I'll start desiring grandchildren in a few years]."
Khan's expression froze as soon as he considered the idea of having a child with Liiza, and Yeza laughed when she saw that scene. She voiced another comment, but her tone gained a chilling aura near the end of the line. "[I was joking. I hope you won't get my daughter pregnant anytime soon]."
"[We are extremely careful about that]!" Khan promptly reassured, but his quick reaction only made Yeza laugh again.
"[At least you know how to keep her satisfied]," Yeza teased. "[I might forget what my daughter's natural shades are if you two continue like this]."
Khan directly diverted his gaze as an awkward laugh escaped his mouth. He didn't want to talk about sex with his girlfriend's mother.
"[Well]," Yeza sighed before standing up, [I hope you won't forget my words. You shouldn't if you like having that thing between your legs. I'm an emotional woman when it comes to my daughter. I don't know what I might do to those who hurt her]."
Khan's expression went blank. Those words finally revealed a stark similarity between Yeza and her daughter. It seemed a common trait of Liiza's family to threaten his manhood.
"[You can remain in this room if you want to avoid those curious glances]," Yeza said while moving toward the door. "[We'll probably plan things out for a few more days, maybe even a week, so this meeting isn't crucial]."
Khan's expression turned serious as he inspected Yeza's departing figure. He had another important question that he couldn't suppress.
"[Ambassador Yeza]," Khan called as he stood up, "[Is the toxicity of our relationship really a bad thing]?"
Yeza had almost reached the door, but she stopped her tracks and turned to inspect Khan. The intense resolve in his eyes saddened her, but she wanted to respect that feeling.
"[You two are nothing more than kids]," Yeza explained in a calm voice, "[Even worse than kids. I don't know much about you, but it's clear that your life wasn't easy. Liiza is the same, so you two have developed a deep need for each other]."
"[Isn't that what Niqols strive to obtain]?" Khan asked.
"[Yes, but that between two normal partners]," Yeza responded. "[You found each other when you had nothing else. Developing such an intense love is almost normal in your situation, but it leaves it with a frail foundation. I'm not sure it can survive in the open, once you'll have to face the real world]."
"[I'm no stranger to the true nature of the world]," Khan commented.
"[I wasn't speaking about that]," Yeza corrected. "[I wish you had found each other after experiencing some good aspects of life. You simply don't know any better right now]."
Khan opened his mouth to speak, but he found himself unable to say anything. He had to sort his thoughts before managing to voice a simple question. "[Isn't it better to get this love sooner]?"
"[Is it]?" Yeza wondered. "[If your feelings are as strong as you two say, you would have eventually found each other anyway, maybe without being so broken. Right now, you both need those emotions, so you aren't completely selfless about them. I'm not questioning your love. I'm just saying that you are both using part of it to heal your sadness]."
Khan diverted his gaze as those words echoed in his mind. Yeza heaved another sigh before crossing the door to leave him alone with his thoughts. She knew that her revelation might have been too profound for such a young boy, but she couldn't hold back since her daughter was involved.
Khan didn't even hear the door closing in front of him. He tried to dissect Yeza's words to inspect them from different perspectives, but it soon became clear that she was right. Both Khan and Liiza even knew about that. They didn't only love each other. They were also relying on their feelings to keep moving.
"[Come out, Liiza]," Khan said, and a wall on the other side of the room slid open.
"[How could you sense me]?" Liiza asked while stepping out of the secret passage. The wall behind her closed as soon as she entered the room.
"[I didn't]," Khan revealed while turning toward Liiza to show a teasing smile. "[I just know that you would have never left me alone with your mother if you had the chance to spy on us]."
Liiza pouted, but her face soon broke into a warm smile when Khan reached her to wrap his arms around her waist. She wanted to kiss him right away, but a tinge of sadness appeared in her expression when she saw him hiding in her neck. She could only imitate him at that point, and the two remained in that position for a few minutes.
"[Did you hear everything]?" Khan asked when he raised his head.
"[Yes]," Liiza revealed after leaving his neck and keeping her gaze lowered. "[I didn't expect my parents to have these problems. No wonder I am a mess]."
"[You are a beautiful mess]," Khan stated while taking Liiza's face in his hands and lifting it to make their eyes meet.
"[I'm your beautiful mess]," Liiza pouted, "[So don't get strange ideas over what my mother said. I don't care if we are instinctively using each other. We'll deal with that together if problems appear]."
Liiza's earnest answer made Khan's doubts melt. He didn't care about anything when those glowing eyes illuminated his face and filled him with feelings that allowed him to find beauty in his dark life.
The two kissed, but they quickly separated. Khan and Liiza were in the middle of the palace, next to a hall full of superiors and friends. Their mental state was even far from ideal, so continuing to be so intimate was risky. Still, their eyes spoke words that they both knew far too well.
"[You should take your time to think about your parents]," Khan suggested, trying to defuse that reckless situation, but Liiza didn't help him.
Liiza took his hand and led him toward the door. She tinkered with the azure symbol there to seal the entrance before turning to push Khan toward the table gently.
"[Liiza]," Khan attempted to stop her with the last brim of self-restraint in his brain, but everything fell apart when he sensed her cold hands slipping under his robe to caress his bare torso.
"[My parents' stuff is too much to take right now]," Liiza explained before showing her pleading expression. "[Help me silence my thoughts]."
Khan and Liiza could have left the area. They had the chance to use the secret passages or the main corridor. No one forbid them from returning to Khan's room, but they remained there. The sole idea of delaying their intimate moment for even a second sounded like torture.
To be continued