C104 - Shaman
"How sure are you about this?" Khan asked as faint hope appeared inside him when he saw how resolute Liiza was about the matter.
"Niqols know mana in ways that humans can't even begin to comprehend," Liiza smiled while removing the hair from Khan's forehead. "Our knowledge might not solve your issue, but I'm sure that it will at least point in the right direction. Humans might become able to help at that point."
"I was talking about our relationship," Khan replied as a complicated smile appeared on his face.
Khan had survived the nightmares for almost twelve years. His desperation was a core part of his personality, and the fact that his father didn't manage to solve the issue had forced him to accept his condition.
Hope wasn't enough to make him risk what he had. Liiza granted him a peace that he wasn't willing to endanger, even if it meant remaining with the nightmares until the duo didn't have to hide anymore or he solved the issue by himself.
His answer left Liiza completely stunned. The intense attraction that they shared made them extremely unwilling to give up on their relationship, but she didn't believe that Khan would decide to put her above such a severe issue.
However, Liiza soon understood that Khan's words didn't only come from his feelings. His answer mainly was the result of his helplessness. Part of Khan had basically stopped to believe that he could vanquish his nightmares.
"I didn't think you were a coward," Liiza snorted while wearing her aloof expression, but her hands remained on Khan's head.
Liiza continued to fondle Khan's hair. She appeared pissed and annoyed, but her cheeks grew paler. Khan had seen that reaction during their most intimate moments, but he understood what it meant only during that conversation.
"I like when you blush," Khan said as his smile became peaceful.
"Shut up," Liiza snorted again before diverting her gaze. "Cowards can't speak."
"Maybe this someone can solve my nightmares," Khan sighed. "Maybe only a Nak can remove them. Maybe they don't even come from mutations. I can't be sure about any of that, but I know that I can endure until my position in the army improves. Why would I risk losing you now when I can simply wait for a few years?"
"Why do you have to be the only one to endure?" Liiza complained while shooting an angry glance at him. "Why can't I take part of that weight? I don't need your protection, and we should work together to make us work."
Liiza wanted to add more words, but she held back from saying them. Giving an ultimatum to Khan would only make him change his mind out of fear of losing her, which wouldn't solve the issue. He had to reach those conclusions on his own. The problem would return otherwise.
Khan suddenly realized that he could be at fault. In theory, he had done everything correctly. Liiza was having a boyfriend that never forced his schedule on her.
However, his inexperience in relationships made him fail to realize that Liiza didn't want to feel happy on her own. She wanted Khan and her to have the same status in the relationship, with both helping each other whenever something was wrong.
Liiza had to get angry to make Khan understand that. He only had to imagine himself in her position to experience her many foul feelings.
Liiza had merely felt annoyed when the matter involved only her powerlessness in helping Khan. Yet, that feeling had transformed into real anger when she saw Khan directly refusing her assistance to avoid creating problems for them.
Khan wasn't trying to protect Liiza. He was only avoiding risks since he was happy about his current situation. Still, he could understand how that behavior could annoy her since it was creating a wall between them that she couldn't cross.
Moreover, Khan was the very reason why she couldn't cross that wall. He was pushing her away by trying to avoid creating problems.
"I'm sorry," Khan eventually exclaimed while diverting his gaze. "I'm new to this. I didn't think that trying to make things easy for you would hurt you."
Khan had been sincere, and Liiza sensed it. Her anger slowly dispersed when she noticed how regretful he appeared through his cold expression.
"I don't have much experience either," Liiza revealed as her hands resumed caressing Khan's hair. "It has never been so intense."
The two spent a few minutes in silence. They had argued for the first time, right at the end of their first week together, but they only wanted to get closer now.
"How much do you trust this someone?" Khan eventually asked.
"She has been a shaman in my family for many generations," Liiza revealed a sweet smile. "Still, my mother had to kick her out due to her anti-human policies."
"How is that supposed to reassure me?" Khan frowned and tried to raise his head, but Liiza promptly put him down while giving voice to her cute giggle.
"Let me finish first," Liiza shouted before continuing in a plain voice. "She has been my nanny for a long time, and I've remained in contact with her behind my mother's back. She still relies on the old ways, so the devices developed during the cooperation with the humans can't find her."
"Why didn't you contact her to get us a way to communicate?" Khan suddenly asked as his eyes lit up.
"I don't even know how to explain the old ways to you," Liiza shook her head. "It would take a few days to contact her and even more to complete the items. How could I even justify disappearing for so long?"
"That issue also applies to my situation," Khan commented, but Liiza softly pecked his forehead and pouted until he wore an apologetic face again.
"The Niqols will hold a formal event at the end of the next week," Liiza explained. "Everyone will be busy with the preparations, and… I believe that the humans will also refrain from special activities."
Talking about the incoming free time reminded Liiza about the hunt. Seeing Khan handling Glenn's corpse so effortlessly made her chest ache, and part of his previous revelations even reappeared in her mind.
Khan had revealed that he had joined the Global Army to find the Nak. His cold pretenses obviously came from that decision. Liiza couldn't help but feel sad when she considered everything he had gone through and was enduring even now.
"How are you, really?" Liiza asked when she found Khan looking at her. "I'll handle the matter with my nanny and tell you the details once everything is ready, but I don't want you to feel on your own in the meantime. I'm here for you, okay?"
The evident concern in Liiza's glowing eyes made Khan's thoughts vanish. Only the conversation about the attraction caused by their mana remained in his mind.
"I want to talk more about what you said in front of the forest," Khan announced. "Our feelings and mana, can we clarify?"
"I thought you didn't like to talk," Liiza teased him, but her faint laugh remained stuck in her throat when she saw how serious Khan appeared.
"Let me sit now," Khan said without moving his eyes from Liiza, and she slowly removed her hands from his head.
Khan straightened his position and sat next to Liiza. Their bodies faced each other, and Khan wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her closer.
Their foreheads touched, and their eyes half-closed as they inspected each other's faces. Their cold and warm breaths mixed as their lips drew close, but they didn't kiss yet. There was something that they had to clarify first.
"There's nothing much to say," Liiza whispered. "We have elements that express ourselves. The same goes for feelings. You know what we experienced when we first met."
"How could I forget?" Khan laughed. "It happened only a week ago."
"Don't ruin it, dummy," Liiza tried to scold him, but only a cute laugh came out of her mouth. "You wanted this. We can go back to kissing if you can't handle it."
"We are like this after one week," Khan said in a mocking tone. "Where does your superior knowledge think we'll end up in a month?"
"I won't say anything specific," Liiza giggled, "But I believe our attraction will intensify until proper feelings appear."
"And that will be the end," Khan laughed.
"Indeed," Liiza sneered before wearing a pensive expression. "Do you ever think about the future?"
"Our future?" Khan asked.
"That too," Liiza replied in a timid voice.
"I don't know," Khan sighed while raising his sane hand to caress her cheek. "I've barely started climbing the ranks inside the army. I don't even know how long my stay on Nitis will last. I can only think about simple stuff for now. I'll keep training and seeing you."
"It's the same for me," Liiza explained. "I actually envy you since you have a clear goal. I don't want to turn into my mother, and the other Niqols even avoid me because I keep disobeying orders. I don't know if I'll ever find my place here."
"You have me now," Khan teased her.
"I do have you," Liiza repeated as she spread her legs and wrapped them around his waist while sitting on Khan's lap. "I don't know for how long, but it feels nice now, and that's enough for me. Just promise that we'll face the stuff that comes at us together."
"I promise," Khan swore. "I'll be better."
"You already are," Liiza smiled, and the two lost their desire to speak at that point.
Their lips instinctively drew near until they touched, and their minds went blank. They stopped thinking as they lost themselves in each other's embrace.
To be continued